Thursday, March 5, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 3/5/09

The Tie: Brown with gray and black stripes.

Number 5: A female African-American member of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party, Ida May Fisher, wants chairman Michael Steele to resign wants to compare the failure of the Republicans to a twelve step program, but that leads to a bar. And yes, he calls Comedian Boss Limbaugh "an entertainer". And now they're calling the Limbaugh item as a Democratic campaign ploy. Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud! And Rep. Tom DeLay (R-TX) calls it an "alien economy" and the DNC wants to put up a slogan near Comedian's home in Florida on a billboard. Ten words or less. Say Richard Wolffe, are we in the midst of - dare I say - a witch hunt?

Chris Kofinis joins us to explain that Steele makes Joaquin Phoenix look (and sound) sane. The scary part? Steele is the best that they have. Meanwhile, Joe the Not-Really-a-Plumber who threw McCain under the bus is suing the Ohio GOP for searching his computer illegally. You cannot be serious...

Number 4: Turdblossom, the "brains" behind Herr Cheney's brawn in the Adolph XLIII dictatorship says that his forthcoming testimony under perjury in the House Judiciary Committee will leave him "barbecued" and compares it to a dog-and-pony show trial in a Fixed Noise interview. And it's not a show trial, it's an old fashioned Stone Cold Steve Austin 3:16 ass whuppin'. Just think, Chris Hayes from The Nation, you've got a whole another item there!

Oddball: In 1994, there was the worlds largest milkshake. And there has been a Michael Jackson sighting (Whoo hoo hoo.) This is it. And in Camphur, India, Cow #1 Soda.

Best Persons: 3 - A-R*d is on the DL with a cyst created from steroids torn miniscus in his right hip and will miss the World Baseball Classic. 2 - Shawn Thomas Lester ordered a soft drink in a West Virginia conveinence store, and decided to rob the place, then paid for the drink with a debit card. With his name on it. 1 - Iowa has just changed name of the Department of Senior Affairs to the Department of Aging. Yeah, the DoA.

Musical Segue: Your guess is as good as mine...

Number 3: Dictatorship 2001-09 Day 3. John Yoo's memos doing after 9/11 takes a page from 24 and uses all that stuff, and the author of this story that was real life, Scott Horton is in studio tonight.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Neil Cavuto at Fixed Noise bitched about the AFL-CIO getting rooms for $200/night for a discount, except Glenn beck didn't know about it. 2 - Daddy, Waht Did You Do In Jail During The Bailout?: One bank went under raising credit ratings from Adolph XLIII's FDIC. 1 - Ari Fleischer calls Limbaugh "a coward"...but not given the circumstances of 9/11.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Silver - Bill-O continues to be scheduled for a rape victim fundraising, but instead will talk about his book. Oh, the organizer has been invited to be a special guest speaker as well.
Gold - Larry Ford, one of Coultergeist's lemmings insults President Obama whilst flyiong a Confederate flag next to a sign which misspells the President's middle name as "Hussen." And this asshat says Americans are his own wrong mind... LIKE IT OR LEAVE IT, PAL!

Number 1: Now President Obama is 48 years old, and yes, he is getting gray hairs. And yes, I am 48 years old, and I am getting gray hairs as well. No, only his hairdresser knows for sure and he doesn't try to dye, and in other First Family news, the girls now have a new playground. Margaret Carlson, that brunette-haired writer from Bloomberg, tells us all about it.

We'll see you again tomorrow with my gray hairs in place.


  1. Excellent blogging as usual, JamesCraven. This blog is quickly becoming the highlight of my life, as I am mired in cleaning out my late mother-in-laws dwelling -- and it is a total disaster area. You are saving my sanity. On to Keith: I was never so proud of him as when he displayed his diploma from Cornell Ag and gently explained to Coultergeist the meaning of fraternity and what it means to be truly educated. The woman should put a sock in it!

  2. I might add that in spite of graduating from high school early and on partial scholarship, it took me six long years working three jobs back in the 1970s to finally get my BA from Wayne State University in Detroit. Never was a degree so hard won as my Mathematics major! Further, it was the right move, because in the ensuing 35+ years, the education I received has enabled me to work in fields that would have been otherwise impossible, namely engineering, research, and math (of course). I am mostly a writer now, but can write on anything. Hence, the value of a college education, and of hard work. I am proud to be an alum of both WSU and U of Michigan, as well as Southwest University where I did my advanced degrees in the 1990s, so to the anti-intellectual dittoheads that follow the Boss, I say as James Kirk said to the Klingon Warlord "I have.had.enough.of.YOU!"
    Praise Keith.

  3. Another way of putting James Tiberius Kirk's saying is "I. Am. So. Not. The. Boss. Of. You!"