Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Countdown "Plausibly Live" Blog: 6/30/09

Before airtime, my computer did another Stone Cold Steve AustinTM impression on my Mr. McMahonTM, with a double virtual middle finger, followed by a virtual Stone Cold StunnerTM. (WHAT?TM) So, this became a "Plausibly Live" blog of the 10 PM US EDT replay.

The Tie: Dark green.

Number 5: And the winner of the 2008 Minnesota United States Senate Race is...The Man of The Decade, He... Former professional comedian Al Franken (D). The Minnesota State Supreme Court unanimously voted 5-0 to end the lengthy recount process, ordering Gov. Tim Palenty (R) to officially sign the certification, and the defeated (after eight months) incumbent, Norm Coleman (R) conceded shortly after that. Al's good enough, smart enough and doggone it, the people of Minnesota are gonna love him for the next five-and-a-half years. The win also gives the Senate a filibuster proof 60 votes majority. Okay, Jonathon Alter, tell us what happens next...

And meanwhile, back in South Carolina, Gov. Mark Sanford (R) has said that he's had more than one affair than the one Down Argintine Way, like, um, seven of them, and of all places, one of those trysts was in New York City. NEW YORK CITY?! Alrighty, Eugene Robinson, Pulitzer Prize winner from The Washington Post, born in South Carolina, one-time resident of Buenos Aires and a visitor to New York City, coincidence between you?

Number 4: Today (6/30) as agreed to during the Adolph XLIII Gestapo, all USA military personnel have been removed from Iraqi cities in a turnover the keys to the country to the nation's leaders on what has been declared National Sovereignty Day in Baghdad. The only person against it? The Ayatollah Dickcheney himself, who had a hand in this and losing 4,300 who came home in pine boxes with flags draped on them. Also, the CIA Inspector General's report on enhanced interrogation techniques water boarding will be released tomorrow (7/1). Joining us is a former insider to all this, author of the book Your Government Failed You, Richard Clark.

Oddball: Hey, thirty years ago this week, a kid fresh from Cornell University got his first big job in New York City, working for something called United Press International radio. Whatever happened to him and his $170/week salary he got? Keith recaps the day he had a bad live experience with a fan in 1983 in DC, and Steve Ryan of KTNV of Las Vegas, we feel your pain. And in Rome, Georgia, another Atlanta Braves farm team, another managerial buring in Rome.

Best Persons: 3 - In Sri Lanka, a mosquito breeding ground was found in a factory that makes repellent. 2 - State Rep. Sally Kern (R-OK) blames everything in a proclamation. 1 - Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN Dwarf Planet Pluto) could lose her district in misreading those Census fill outs.

Musical Segue: Goodbye x 6 (Remember MTV's "Singled Out"? Those who got dumped sometimes got serenaded by that song.)

Number 3: Will "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" go the way of Pontiac? President Obama said, "Mmmmmmmm, could be?" Let's welcome Dan Savage (he of "Savage Love") to the program for some insight.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - According to Vanity Fair, Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister once signed her e-mails to friends "Trig's creator, your heavenly Father", and thinks she's Sarah Almighty.
Silver - Comedian Boss Limbaugh is really, really going off the trolley tracks again, saying Obama wants the 22nd Amendment repealed. Same guy who introduced that bill three times during Adolph XLIII's Gestapo, too.
Gold - A San Diego County Sheriff's Deputy named Marshall Abbott ("Hey, Abbott!") went to a Democratic fundraiser, and maced a few elderly women because they were breaking a noise ordinance, including the woman who put Duke Cunningham into the big house.

Number 1: Michael Jackson left a will, but forgot to adopt his own kids...that were birthed by someone else's semen. (The inner Kenny Blankenship from MXC within me said "Heh heh, he said 'semen!'") Looks like this circus is gonna be in town for a few years. Let's welcome back ringmaster, er, reporter from the Los Angeles Times Andrew Blankstein from the Bill Plaske Memorial Around The Horn Studio at said newspaper.

And that's a wrap for tonight, we'll hopefully be back live tomorrow, computer willing.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/29/09, Now In Spectacular MSNBC HD!

The Tie: Red with white micropindots.

Number 5: Sonia Sotomayor is not qualified to be a Supreme Court justice according to SCOTUS as she is a racist by a 5-4 vote overturning the Ricci order, but she didn't write it on the final day of the term of said SCOTUS Five GOPs voted against it, David Suter and the others voted for it. Prof. Jonathon Turley joins us and fills in the blanks about Title VII.

Meanwhile, Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC), fresh off the imfamous Argentine Pampas lifestyle wild time, has been told to step down. His wife told AP that he wanted to visit his mistress, but was denied. Rev. Welton Gaddy, president of the Interfaith Alliance, joins us.

Number 4: And in Iran, it's becoming Adolph XLIII vs. Gore and O.J. Simpson. The president of Iran was certified as the winner, and he promises to find the real killer of the female martyr. Prof. John Ghazvinian from the University of Pennsylvania joins us again from the City That Loves You back for in depth anayalsis.

Oddball:
Happy Birthday, Richard Lewis, neuortic comic. In Warren, Ohio, there's a blurred faced woman with a baby squirrel in her, um, boobs. The I-Reel is unveiled in Japan, with a goofy Japanese mascot.

Best Persons: 3 - David Zurawik form The Baltimore Sun and noted Fixed Noise shill says Olbermann is in a ratings slump, but according to Nielsen, MSNBC is still #2 behind Fixed Noise and #1 in the key 18-35 "money demo". 2 - Ex-regular Dana Milbank on HuffPo. Remember Adolph's little thing? 1 - Denny Chin threw the book at Bernie Madoff to the tune of 150 years in jail. Madoff's 71. You do the math.


Musical Segue: Instrumental music...

Number 3: EARTH SHATTERING BREAKING NEWS - Michael Jackson's mom Katherine gets his kids in temporary custody, but his father, Joe, is starting a record label, and there's no will. Coroner's office has found two bags of older perscription drugs from multiple physcians and were taken from his Westwood rental. At Bill Plaske's Around the Horn Memorial studio at the Los Angeles Times, that newspaper's reporter, Andrew Blankstein, joins us. BTW, TJ Simers is a big, fat schmucktard.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - The guy promoting atheists for $10K in NYC's MTA buses.
Silver - Comedian Boss Limbaugh said that 5-4 is actually 9-0 as Sotomayor is a racist.
Gold - Joe the Non-Plumber wants to string up Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT) on a tree.

Number 1: Remember that cardio doctor hired by AEG to watch over Michael Jackson, Conrad Murray? He showed up over the weekend to the LAPD for a little chat. He also chatted with Jackson family members. No word on if Tito was handed a loofah. Gerald Posner investigates into the story.

See you tommorow.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Coming Soon: "The Wide Reciever Next Door"

Kendra Wilkenson and Eagles wideout Hank Baskett officially tied the knot Saturday night at the Playboy mansion in Los Angeles. As per E!Online:

Paparazzi swarmed outside the gates and security was tight as about 500 guests—including man of the house Hugh Hefner and Wilkinson's roommates turned bridesmaids, Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt—witnessed the duo exchange vows on the mansion's front lawn, next to the famed wishing well.

"I could not be more delighted," Hefner told E! "This is one of the happiest days in one of the happiest places on Earth."

But though there had once been talk of Hef doing the honors, Wilkinson's brother, Colin, was the one to give her away.

"Watching Colin walk Kendra down the aisle was really emotional and beautiful," the bride's mom, Patty Wilkinson, said. "She looked breathtaking."

Baskett popped the question in November after a fairly short courtship, and the betrothed duo happily confirmed to E! News earlier this month that they're expecting their first child together this winter.

"We don't officially know, but we keep saying he because we don't want to say it," Wilkinson told the Awful Truth this week. "The doctor kind of said he thinks it's a boy. But we don't know for sure yet."

And just because there's a baby on the way doesn't mean Kendra isn't a gal who still likes to have a little fun.

On June 18, her girlfriends treated her to a bridal shower at the Hollywood club Guys and Dolls, where they sipped cocktails (nonalcoholic for the mom-to-be), chowed down on gourmet comfort food and shared tips on love, sex and marriage.

All while clad in lingerie and licking frosting off each other, of course.

Baskett got to have his fun, too. While Wilkinson and her pals indulged in spa treatments on Wednesday, he and his buddies spent the day golfing. Then he and his future missus were guests of honor at a joint bachelor-bachelorette dinner party at MyHouse, a Hollywood bar furnished to look like a swanky private residence.

The couple had their rehearsal dinner Thursday night—a decidedly down-to-earth affair at Dave & Buster's, a fun-for-all-ages restaurant where everyone from Kendra's grandma to her Bunny-studded bridal party hit the adjacent arcade.

But the affair tonight was the one to remember, all glitz and glam.

"It was a fairytale wedding," Mary Wilkinson, Kendra's grandmother, told E!

"Holly cried like a faucet and I held back tears," said Marquardt before heading off to the reception. "I'm usually the emotional one. The ceremony was short and sweet and bombarded by helicopters. [Kendra's] dress was like a princess and I'm going to catch the bouquet!"

"It was awesome and the craziest reunion," added Madison, who just last night was in Las Vegas making her debut in the racy revue Peepshow. "Seeing Hef and Mary again was great."

The newlyweds have kept their honeymoon plans quiet—all Kendra has offered in the way of a hint is that it's an island where they're going to "be able to walk around naked."

And remember, training camp starts in a few weeks...

Friday, June 26, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/26/09

The Tie: Gold with maroon, white stripes.

Number 5: Who or what killed Michael Jackson? Murder is out of the question, and the coroner's office report in LA will be released in four to six weeks, now reports said he was addicted to Oxy-Contin and was injected with another pain killer drug, Demiral. A security hold is in place with those "to protect and serve", so now, his doctor, Dr. Conrad Murphy from Las Vegas who was a cardiologist, wanted to have continued CPR. And even the 911 calls become more skeptical, and the LAPD wants to talk to Dr. Murray. His lawyer, Brian Oxman, forewarned them in advance, and this may have become a case of overdosing. Andrew Blankstein from the Los Angeles Times gives us an update from the Bill Plaske Memorial Around The Horn studio in the newsroom.

In four of five lives of Michael Jackson, tributes came from his childhood home in Gary, Indiana even to Congress, from Hong Kong to the Apollo Theatre, where the Jackson 5ive got their big break at Amateur Night back in 1967, and there were Thriller reenactments everywhere. Deepak Chopra, a good friend of Michael Jckson, joins us to remember his career. We also learned that this was the deepest interview Keith ever did.

Number 4: Who gets Michael Jackson's children now that he has passed away? Even Lisa Marie Presley shuddere to see The King of Pop go down the same path as his father. His estate is now theirs, but which parents will retain the kids? Diane Dimond joins us to look into the whole mess.

Oddball: Richard III, the Adolph Bush XLIII of his era, took the throne on this day a long time ago. In Zambia, there was a news conference and a monkey did number one on the President. In North Carolina, a five-legged chiauaua. Yo quiero extra leg.

Best Persons: 3 - Michael Kruse dialed 9-1-1 to get a police escort to a rap concert. 2 - Tazmania's crop circles are made by stoned wallabes. 1 - Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN DWARF STAR PLUTO) is pulling the 1940's roundup of Japanese-Americans, and wants to know our phone numbers as illegal ailens.

Musical Segue: "Fly" by Sugar Ray.

Number 3: And in other news... You think we have forgotten the affairs of one Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC)? Nope. Today he apologized to his cabinet, his wife warned hiom not to go to Argentina ("Oh, those Argentinians can be very tricky inded" that school teacher from You Can't Do That on Television once said.) Mrs. Sanford agreed to stop when she warned him about the affair. Brazil, si. Argentina? No. Paid for by the State of South Carolina. Now it's time for him to call it a career...and all members of the state Good Oldboysandgirls Party. Meanwhile, Comedian Boss imbaugh blames Obama for that. Et tu, Rush? Jonathon Alter, why is this big now?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Rep. Cynthia Davis (R-MO 16th District) who chairs that state's childrens affairs committee, is now being threatened with being removed from that position. Now we learn she steals food from state affairs for her kids.
Silver - Morton Kondracke thinks that the Sanford mess is a positive...for the Republicans.
Gold - Coultergeist is back from the shadows saying she is opposed to killing people in public they don't like. You are a member of the public...oh, why do I even bother?

Number 1: Can you name the front runner for the 2012 Republican nomination for President of the United States of America. You know, the job currently held by Barack Obama? Bobby Jindal had his chance, but came off like Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock; we all know about Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister; Gov. Sanford had his chance, but went Down Argentine Way; Sen. Jon Ensign (NV) went to Vegas and what happened that didn't stay there; and Newt Gingrich is suddenly a moron after all these years from his "Contract(ion) with America"; and now it's like Real Housewives of New Joisey all of the sudden. Is it because Willard Mitt Romney the clubhouse leader?

Have a great weekend; I'll visit on Monday. And now in HD where available...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Death of Michael Jackson

The Tie: Copper with the black vest.

The King of Pop is dead. Long live The King of Pop. Michael Joseph Jackson, 50, died after a massive heart attack today (6/25) in his Westwood home and was transported into the Ronald Wilson Reagan UCLA Medical Center. This is starting early at 7:15 PM US EDT because Keith has signed on early as Hardball was bumped so we see live and pre-recorded chopper shots and gathering crowds from KNBC-DT in Los Angeles, and there is a reporter on the scene. And tonight, it feels like a different show with entertainment reporters in the show on an early start.

People of my generation will ask where you were on August 16, 1977 when Elvis passed away on the throne in his Graceland bathroom or December 8, 1980 when Howard Cosell put a pall on the Patroits-Dolphins Monday Night Football game by announcing that John Lennon was asassinated by a crazed gunman named John Hinkley. Now, people will ask your generation where you were on June 25, 2009, when you heard the news of the passing of Jacko. Al Sharpton is holding a brief press conference right now issuing a statement on his passing. Official word from the Los Angeles Coroner came at 4:38 PM PDT. And as we speak, his fans are growing and many radio stations are suspending regular formats to play all Michael Jackson all the time.

Obviously, due to the nonstop coverage, today's format is being suspended. I'll just leave it at that and see you tomorrow. Lost in this was the fact was that Farrah Fawcett, one of the original Charlie's Angels, lost her batle with cancer at the age of 62.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/24/09

The Tie: Black. Plain black.

Number 5: Three guesses, first two does not count. One day after we learned that he was hiking in the Appalachian Trail naked, we learned that the man who had refused Obama Stimulai but lost to a high school student in court, Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) had an affair, and apologized to his wife, his family, his staff, his friends and his state. Now, he will resign as the head of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party Governors Association. IMHO, he should also resign as that state's governor as a result of this. First, Larry Craig, then Jon Ensign, then there was Jim McGreevey and of course, Blago. A reporter from The State in Columbia (South Carolina state capital) met him at Hartsfeld International Airport in Atlanta as Sanford was deplaning after coming back from... Buenos Aires, Argentina! The chips have fallen all over his political career and his personal life as well. Also, The State uncovered e-mails between Gov. Sanford and the Argentinian woman. (More on that later.) Now if I was Mrs. Sanford, I would also file for divorce. As a matter of fact, she did. It's a fricking comedy goldmine for Leno Conan, Letterman, Kimmell, Ferguson and Fallon, as well as every morning shock jock! Move over, Jon Minus Kate and Eight!

Number 4: Let's go to Eugene Robinson, noted Pulitzer Prize winner from The Washington Post who lived in South Carolina and Buenos Aries (small world isn't it?) for his opinions on the subject.

And remember Michael Palin's post-Monty Python series Ripping Yarns? There was an episode which featured a exact same duplicate storyline! WHO KNEW?!


Oddball: In 1813, Henry Ward Beecher was born who made news with his sermons. In Tel Aviv, cyclists and rollerskaters protesed helmet laws. In their skivvies. In San Juan, major dousing in honor of the city's patron saint. And in China, one finger + four coconuts = a record. Ouch.

Best Persons: 3 - Lt. Col. Joe Repya, USMC (Ret.) hates the GOP leaders. 2 - Oscars will now have more Best Picture nominees from five to ten. 1 - Man ran by Wendy's stealing fries, naked in British Columbia.

Musical Segue: Ray Stevens' "The Streak".

Number 3: In what would have been number 5 if not for the Sanford and Sin Scandal, Iran's political wars continue wethere we know it or not. The Ayatollah does not want a revote, or news on tear gas for that matter. Riots continue, and the rules of 1099 continues. That'd be 1099, the year, not a code of any way or form. Time Magazine seinor editor Bobby Ghosh rejoins us to recap.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Rep. Randy Nauganbauer (R-TX) signs on the bill to require birth certificates for Presidential canidates. Yeah, read about Obama's birth certificate.
Silver - The Republican Women of Anne Andel, MD compared Obama to Hitler. I compare Hitler to GWB.
Gold - State Rep. Cynthia Davis (R-19th District, MO) still fighting for kids getting jobs at McDonald's, now blames editorial writers (read: herself) making it a family issue. Just do us a favor and shut the fuck up, bitch.

Number 1: You know, we mentioned those Sanford e-mails that The State in Columbia, SC held since December on Gov. Sanford's tryst a la Argentina. Read along with us as we get the Adam West reading Penthouse Forum treatment and Rich Lowry gets away from the television:

"You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light - but hey, that would be going into sexual details ..."

 Christian Finnegan now has more material to write about this.

That's it for here, join me upstairs for Episode 2 of Season 2 of I Survived a Japanese Game Show in 3...2...1...

ISaJGS Season 2 Ep 2 Live Blog 6/24/09

Last week, the Philly Girl (Kimberly Williams) was Big Spider Yanky Danked out of the contest thanks to that so-called New York bias...actually, it was a tiebreaker on who made more complete bugs.

How will the Red Robots fare tonight in Episode Two against the Green Tigers? We're about to find out.


Everyone...


HAI! MAJIDE!!!


Why No Live Blog Last Night? (6/23); ISaJGS Surprisingly Did Well

I apologize to all of you for not having a live blog on June 23rd. I came down wioth a severe case of sinusitis (and now know how Ryan Howard felt) and basicly decided to pass. Needless to say, we will be back up and running tonight around 8 PM US EDT for the Wednesday night twinball of Countdown and I Survived a Japanese Game Show.

And speaking of ISaJGS, which saw Philly homegirl Kimberly Williams the first player out in Season Two, it surprisingly did well against the second half of So You Think You Can Dance? on Fox, and the repeats of an episode of Criminal Minds over on CBS, and Law and Order on NBC. But tonight brings us the real litmus test: How will the show fare (ratingswise) against that NBC summer juggernaut known as America's Got Talent with new host Nick "Wildin' Out" Cannon? Based on last year's numbers, the ratings began to dip in what NewsCorpse dubbed "the money demo" (18-49 year olds) week after week following the premiere, but this year it ended in a dead heat for eighth place with Univision telenovela Manana Es Para Siempre (Tomorrow is Forever) three times and a rerun of CSI Miami on CBS after the opening week.

Keep in mind that a year ago, the Tuesday night 9 PM slot was not only occupied by ISaJGS, but repeats of House on FOX (except for the 2008 MLB All-Star Game back on July 15), AGT on NBC and Big Brother 10 on CBS. This summer, CBS has raised the white flag (although it doesn't look like it) by airing reruns of Minds, and everyone else is doing some sort of reality/game show/entertainment contest, but unlike last summer, when NBC had the powerful moneymaking ratings destroyer called the Games of the XXVIII Olympiad in Beijing which cremated anything else ABC tried to air (read Mike Greenberg's Duel - mostly to blame on to The Price is Right Million Dolar Spectacular though over on CBS, High School Musical: Get Into The Picture or Wanna Bet? as they were even trumped by Univision's telenovelas in the money demo for crying out loud!), the field is wide open.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/22/09

The Tie: Navy, red and gold stripes.

Number 5: More hardline guards breaking up supporters of the opposition as the fallout from the Iran government riots and presidential election continues, and minutes after a female protester was shot and killed moments after a riot being bled to death. Her family prohibited from having a funeral by order of the Ayatollah, again living in the 11th century. Even President Obama supports the protesters while Marco Rubio (R), a Senate canidate says The Second Amendment - the right to bear arms - is needed to beextened to Iranians. Richard Engel reports in story on the foreign POV, while Richard Wolffe plays the political sights.


At this point, my computer did it's Stone Cold Steve AustinTM virtual double middle finger salute to my Mr. McMahonTM. So everything from this point out is from my memory or from their web pages.

Number 4: Keith interviews a University of Pennsylvania professor about Iran's crisis ffollowing his vote in the election last week.


Oddball: A journalist committed suicide in 1954. Play us out, synthizer sea otter! And in Ohio, an amazing super shot from a middle schooler on the last day of school.


Best Persons: 3 - Man in Colorado cannot believe he was outlived by Keith Richards. 2 - Keith take note: Man in Sacto bombs (with roach bombs) an apartment complex. 1 - Madison.com headline on cheddar sculptor: "MAN TO CUT CHEESE THIS WEEKEND."

Musical Segue: Farmer in the Dell


Number 3: More than 70% want government controlled health care...Howard Dean ("Yeahhhhhhhhhhgh!") joins us.


Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Lancaster, PA becomes George Orwell's 1984.
Silver - Charile Krauthammer and Bill Bennett double down on the ayatollah in Iran.
Gold - Missouri State representative Cynthia Davis (R-16th District) pulls a Marie Anotinette telling hungry children to work at McDonald's and she's the chairperson of the children's committee.

Number 1: Hey look, John Hodgman, the "PC" of the "Mac vs. PC" ads is here to talk about President Obama's nerdiness and check on LeBron James coming visit to The Executive Mansion's new basketball-over-the-old-tennis court.


See you tomrrow.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Once Again, Midwestern Media Bias Shuts Out Mets-Phillies On July 5

ESPN and TBS can now officially fuck themselves in the ass for all I motherfucking care. No, really. In yet another case of motherfucking Midwestern Media Bias (forget East Coast and West Coast Media Bias, this is fifty bazillion cocksucking times worse than that,) TBS and EPN are ignoring baseball's hottest rivalry of the moment. Of course, I speak of the Phillies-Mets rivalry.

So which games did ESPN and TBS pick? TBS opted for the Cubs and the Brewers in Chi-town, while ESPN went with last year's flavor of the month, the Tampa Bay Rays against this year's flavor of the month, the Texas Rangers. Combined, these two teams coudn't draw flies with both honey and horseshit combined, considering the Rangers mascot is a damn palomino. So only viewers in the two biggest markets on the East Coast will see the Sunday afternoon tilt.

ONCE AGAIN, THIS BRAND NEW BALL OF ASSSHIT MOTHERCOCKSUCKFUCKING BITES, SHITFUCKEDUP BLOWS, TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY ONE MOTHERFUCKING HUNDRED COCKSUCKING PERCENT FUCKTARDED STINKS AND SUCKTACULARLY MOTHERCOCKFUCKING SUCKS ALL AT THE SAME MOTHERFUCKING TIME!

As the retired comedian Dennis Miller once said "Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong."

Friday, June 19, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/19/09

The Tie: Light blue.

Number 5: The supreme leader of Iran said that it's the USA and Great Britain to blame for the presidential election fuck up and there will be blood after saying the system is on the up-and-up as it were. So they want to party like it's 1099? Also mentioned was the Branch Davidian church in 1993. Both houses of Congress condemned this, including a no vote from Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX), he of the Ron Paul for President 2008 campaign, from the supression of cell phones and internets. Bobby Ghosh from Time Magazine gives us the supreme leader's news, while Jonathon Alter gives out the political side of the story.

Number 4: The CIA internal report was scheduled to be released today that was from 2004, and was released last year with Gestapo-like censorship, doubting enhanced interigatiion techniques waterboarding. Jonathon Landay from McClatchy newspapers is here to analyize it all.


President Obama has now been immortalized by JibJab thanks to his love of the Marvel Comics Spiderman. The key word here is "Pirates". Arrrrrrr. (Rupert, is that you?)




Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!


Numbers 3 and 2: More on last night's Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!? moment, and two more e-mailed via Wonkette relased. Which leads us to...

Worst Persons in the World
Bronze - John Boehner's criticism of those Obama monies. Good to know.
Silver - The California Good Oldboysand girls Party hired Mr. Jacoby who was guilty of pulling an alleged ACORN trick.
Gold - Jeffrey Smith wants the release of the Ayatollah Dick Cheney interview outing Valerie Plame, and wanted not to how it winds up on Late Night talk shows.

Oddball (The Special Lead-In to President Obama's Comedy Act Part II Edition): On this day in 1849, the first baseball game was played in Hoboken, New Jersey.  HOBOKEN?  OOOOOOOOH, I'M DYIN'!  Which leads us to bat tricks by a member of the Long Beach Armada and references to the 1946 Looney Tunes classic Baseball Bugs.  Over in Cheese-eating Surrender Monkey Land, the Tour de Prisions concluded.  Sadly, nobody tried to break away.  And in Montana, a cake maker and stuntman delivers a cake to the Helena Fire Department simply, dare I say, en fuego. ("That's One!")


Number 1:
President Obama's comedy tour continues at the Radio and TV Correspendent's Dinner in Washington. Try the waitress ad tip the veal! Thankfully, no mention of a follow up by Wanda Sykes, but the PC guy from the "PC vs. Mac" ads was the follow-up speaker.

And formal apologies for the Virtual Middle Fingers my computer has given me tonight, I had to restart it six times to complete this blog.  I'll see you on Monday if this doesn't act up.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/18/09

The Tie: Pink.

Number 5: One million protesters are mourning in Tehran (and even state-run TV in Iran admits to the fact of one million in Khomani Plaza) and the president admits to that. And meanwhile, in Washington, Robert Gibbs told the daily media briefing that he shares how the story is being handled, except for the Good oldboysandgirls Party. See last night's third place WPitW for more information. Richard Engel and Richard Wolffe are seperately seen for both sides - human and political - in this mess.

Number 4: There's been a Adolph XLIII sighting about the pet goat and breaking the silence on President Obama. This is change he didn't believe in and blasting his own legacy. Chris Hayes of The Nation, what corner has Adolph XLIII painted himself into?

Oddball: In 1178, the Canterbury Tale of an asteroid was exploded between earth and the moon. Security cam footage showed a man in drag of her son channeling in on Social Security checks. So there was this nettle eating contest in Dorsett, England. They say it tastes like chicken...

Best Persons: 3 - Dusty Rhodes passed away today. Not the wrestler, the Giants pinch-hitter from the 1954 World Series. 2 - Those insulting in a Spanish bar can win free drinks. 1 - Eddie Lazcano was arrested because of his hair. It was him or Ronald McDonald.

Musical Segue: You Deserve A Break Today! Enjoy the medley of old McDonald's ads chosen for your pleasure.



Number 3: Comedian Boss Limbaugh is heading toward the stop sign by cmlaining that SoniaSotomayor is to be compared to a cleaning lady, and is not Steven Colbert's whipping boy about something called a society for women, and she's ahead of other candidates. Mellissa Harris-Lacewell joins us in studio to anaylize.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Diane Black, a state representative from Tennessee and strongly worded asked vis state government to stop sending racist stuff, but didn't sack her.
Silver - Turdblossom on Fixed Noise bitched about ABC's extensive use of The White House. Gee, didn't Fixed Noise do so?
Gold - Charlie Krauthammer bitched about the only voice of opposition at Fixed Noise. Twisted logic 101.

Number 1 (The Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!? Moment): A medley reenactment (complete with bad drag) of a Capital representative asking to be referred as Elizabeth, not Liz. And a namesake who was a doctor in Augusta, Georgia. Here's your video proof reenactment:


As for me, the weekend starts for me at 9 PM EDT tomorrow after our get together.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

ISaJGS Season 2 Ep 1 Live Blog 6/17/09

Tonight's the first night of the eagerly hyped Season Two for I Survived a Japanese Game Show. The fun begins at 9 PM on ABC. That is, unless your name happens to be Nathan Brice...or one of his bazillion assumed names, and of course, we all know never to assume, because you know the rest. The only reason that it premiers tonight is because the show that replaced it, Mike Judge's post-King of the Hill series, The Goode Family, wasn't good enough in the Nielsen ratings...bad pun intended. Let's do this like Brutus!

HAI! MAJIDE!!!


Countdown Live Blog: 6/17/09

Thanks gain to JFein for pinchhitting the last two nights. He'll be around for our first live blog of Season Two of I Survived a Japanese Game Show as soon as we're finished up here.

The Tie: Blue shadow stripes.

Number 5: No health care or Social Security in the sme-sex marriage proposal, but moving benefits. Those among those of the Federal employees because of the Defense of Marriage Act or to those in the military (via "Don't ask, don't tell") via a memo signed to end after he leaves 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The DoMA might be overturned by Congress if not by the Supreme Court while Congress will have a smae-sex marriage rights and benefits bill on deck when that happens. Joe Solomese of the Human Rights Campaign - fresh from The Oval Office - describes the mood. And look, Fred Arminsen Richard Wolffe is in the studio tonight (promoting the book on tour?) to gather the legal stuff.


Number 4: As the biggest overhaul of the finacial and the possible seperation of banks and Wall Street since FDR was in charge back in 1933 may come about, Presidnt Obama's popularity has dropped by 5%. Dan Gross from Newsweek joins us to drop that old Olbermann line circa SportsCenter 1994 that "A good craftsman never blames his tools."

Oddball: In 1880, John Montgomery Ward pitched the second National League perfect game in five days. The next Senior Circut El Perfecto was a Father's Day special done by Phillies hurler Jim Bunning, for which its' 45th Aniversry is this coming Sunday (6/21). In Denmark, a girl who wanted three stars had 56...and the tatoo artist is being sued. And the anti-Letterman protest via Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister and a video of men playing tongue hockey.

Best Persons: 3 - A retired marine went to Adventure Amusement Park in Michigan to see his fiance unless he and his nurse were told to pay up. 2 - Rep. Steve King (R-IA) makes a joke about pulling out of Iraq. 1 - Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN DWARF STAR PLUTO) will not partake in the 2010 Census protesting Obama.

Musical Segue: "She Drive Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals

Number 3: In the biggest invsion of privace in the continuing anonymously bugging and the e-mails is...former president Bill Cinton all during the Adolph XLIII Gestapo. Three closed-door congressional panels are investigating it all. James Risen from The New York Times joins us to see through it all.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Three Republican congressmen compare themsves to those getting shot at in Iran...all by way of Twitter.
Silver - Newt Gingrich misquotes the Declaration of Independence.
Gold - Fixed Noise was attacked by President Obama in an CNBC interview as an attack channel. What a ClusterFixed Noise.

Number 1: Another year, another Senator of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party caught in a sex scandal ("Fillibuster? I didn't even know her!") This time, it's Jon Ensign (R-NV), and boy those Christmas parties are cluster you-know-whats! And the GOP's health care was all of four pages. What is it Eugene Robinson about "What happens in Vegas is said in a presser?"

Well, I have the Japanese Game Show thing. See you tomorrow

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/16/09

(Guest posted by JFein from Fire Andy Reid Now!)

Let's get this party started!

Today we've got Iran and Twitter, Obama is going Bushian by not releasing a visitor list, evidence that torture does not work, and Mary Catheryn Ham is criticizing Obama's mistake while making a spelling error herself in worsts, and Palin's accepting of Letterman's apology.

The tie: Black with silver and purple stripes.

Number 5: More disturbing images from Iran. Apparently they never heard of political civility. Were some ballots not counted or ignored? And we've got Twitter getting involved and being taken offline for a bit by the U.S. Government because of it's vital use thus far in the Iranian presidential election. I never thought I would see the day. John McCain is not happy about it, and is vehement about this being a sham of election. Staying on the subject of McCain for a bit, in 1988, the American people knocked once for the Father, in 2000 they knocked twice and got the Son, thank goodness there was not a 3rd knock in 2008 and we did not end up with the Holy Ghost (/Fall Out Boy'd). We've got Richard Engel of NBC News who is sporting that clean cut look thath the 1990s will be laughed at for in later decades. I pretty much said as much on this Iran incident last night and aside from the new breakthrough of Twitter, I don't have really anything to add. And I don't have anything about Twitter either. Other than what is happening in Iran is certainly not a tweet. Get it? Tweet......it sort of sounds like treat.....as in this is not a good thing. Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Back to Countdown, why does Engel insist on calling Ayatollah Khomeni, The Supreme Leader? I mean, I know that's what his title is, but he couldn't call him Ayatollah Khomeni, as in The Supreme Leader's name? (and Ayatollah is the title of Supreme Leader). Props to Engel, though. I've never seen anyone a random guest on Countdown drone on and on and on and on and on like he just did.

Richard Wolffe is here. Here's a little known and/or forgotten fact, Richard Wolffe actually was a member of the press that constantly followed around George W. Bush during the campaign of the would be controversial Election of 2000. Iran is talking about what is to be done about Iran and whether or not what McCain's motives are for the aforementioned comments.

And still to come, Obama and the White House are for some random reason keeping the names of visitors to the White House from the American people. Yeah, that's against the Supreme Court ruling and just flat out stupid. And more on waterboarding and torture.

Number 4: The Obama Administration is not giving out the names of White House visitors, which does go against court rulings. And this is something that was done by everyone's favorite presidential administration, the Bush Administration! Chris Hayes from The Nation joins us. And yeah, I'm not quite sure what the point of this is either. And that is something that a mass amount of people only get curious about is when it is deprived of the American people. And all of a sudden this turned into a conversation about gay marriage. How, I'm not sure. But while we are on that subject, SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE NOW!!! (/Strong feeling toward issue'd).

We;ve got an animal coming out of a soda machine and Mr. Bouncy Bouncy is a Worst Person. Will he win the gold or will Miss I Can't Spell take the honors? Find out later tonight!

Oddball: The first newscast premiered on this day in history. And in Tulsa, there was a drunk guy who somehow ended up on the top of a roadsign. And also in TUlsa, ther is a raccoon in a Pepsi machine! Hmmm......tastes like Coke. And President Obama's CNBC interview was interrupted by a fly and HE SMACKED AND KILLED THE FLY!!!!! BOO!!!!! YOU STINK!!!! Sorry, I have a compassion for animals (/good friend sending me disturbing video and ranting about how animals should not be abused'd).

Best Persons
3 - A man who was reported missing was really fishing. His wife reported him missing after saying he could leave. 2 - A man ended up with 176 tickets. 1 - Some genius literally shot himself in the ass. No, really. He had a gun in his pocket, it went off, and a bullet went straight up the ole deriere. I bet he has a real pain in the ass now.

Aspeaking of pain in the ass, how about Artie Lange on Joe Buck Live last night? Damn, that was brutal. Here's where to go if you want to see the only time I have ever felt bad for Joe Buck.

Number 3: The 9/11 mastermind allegedly lied while being tortured about the location of Osama Bin Laden. Yes, he gave a location and yes, he made one up. If only they could hire Cal Lightman in order to detect lying, that way we would not for sure whether KSM (I will not embarrass myself by trying to spell his full name) was lying about the location of bin Laden, and in turn, figure out where Bin Laden was. Jonathan Landan from McClatchy Newspapers (Where......???????) joins us. Is it just me, or does it seem wrong that that voice is coming out of that body (talking about Landan).

Worst persons coming up next! Who will take the gold? Find out next!

Numer 2 (Worst Persons In The World)
Bronze - Tom Cox, running for U.S. Senate, hired a bakers' dozen illegal immigrants for seven years.
Silver - Mary Catherine Ham of the Weekly Standard criticized Obama for making a gaffe, but in that column, she spelled the number 2 as "too". Um, irony much?
Gold - It's Comic Bouncy!!! (See what I did there?) Limbaugh is speaking on behalf of the LGBT. And making no sense in the process.

Number 1: I covered this story in the post below so I won't go into great depth here, but I did not catch the fact that Palin once again got the Constitution wrong in that Freedom of Speech in the U.S. Bill of Rights does not cover what is said on TV. You'd think that a history major such as myslef would catch that. And people are still protesting in front of the Late Show. All 10 of them, that is. Margaret Carlson has more.

Tomorrow at 5:45, healthcare benefits will be extended to partners of gay/lesbian employees of the federal government.

See you tomorrow for I Survived A Japanese Game Show live blog. Not sure how it will be done yet, but it will be done.

David Letterman Vs. Sarah Palin Has Finally Ended...We Think....

(Guest posted by JFein from Fire Andy Reid Now!)

Our national nightmare is over. David Letterman issued a lenghty, sincere apology last night for his comments about Sarah Palin's daughters being at the baseball game. Here is Letterman's apology in full.



And the question was raised last night on Countdown whether or not the Governor of Alaska would accept Letterman's apology. The answer to that is yes, she did. Sort of. Here is Palin's acceptance which she gave in the form of a statement to
FoxNews.com.

In a statement to FOXNews.com early Tuesday, the Alaska governor said, "Of course it's accepted on behalf of young women, like my daughters, who hope men who 'joke' about public displays of sexual exploitation of girls will soon evolve."

"Letterman certainly has the right to 'joke' about whatever he wants to, and thankfully we have the right to express our reaction," Palin said. "This is all thanks to our U.S. Military women and men putting their lives on the line for us to secure America's Right to Free Speech - in this case, may that right be used to promote equality and respect."

Palin's acceptance was certainly lackluster, if you ask me. Watch Letterman and look at Palin's acceptance again. Letterman apologized directly to Palin, Bristol, Willow, and co. for the joke. Palin accepted it on behalf of young women, not personally directing it, which is not a huge problem if you ask me as a lot of women and feminist groups were angered by Letterman's remarks a week ago, but instead of sincerely directly addressing Letterman, she goes on about how it's thanks to the troops that he can speak freely and she has the freedom to react to it. A true statement, but in my view, it was not the right thing to say for such an occasion as this.

Sarah Palin accepts David Letterman's apology for 'coarse joke' (Fox News)
Countdown: Monday recappers thread (Olbermann Watch)

Why We're Calling Ms. HuffPo "Mama Bear" 'Round Here...

The giddy genius of Seth McFarlane has produced a spinoff of Family Guy involving Cleveland Brown and his clan. The new 30-minute series - called The Clevelad Show - sends Clevleand and his new family from Quahog, Rhode Island to a small town in Virginia that includes as their neighbors human bears (played by McFarlane and Ariana Huffington). I heard that Mr. Olbermann will drop by this series as a guest voice this season.

The show premieres September 27 at 8:30 PM ET/PT (right between The Simpsons and Family Guy) on your local FOX affiliate.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/15/09

(Guest posted by JFein from Fire Andy Reid Now!)

It is definitely kind of ironic and funny that I am live blogging an episode at Countdown on the same day that I shared an elevator ride with Senator Bob Casey, Jr. (D-PA). If only I had realized it while we were in the elevator and not walking out (curse my terrible habit of day-dreaming!).

And also, if you remember the last time I live blogged an episode of Countdown, Olbermann requested a quarantine of Fox News and said that he would never again use the Ted Baxter voice to mock Bill O'Reilly. Personally, I can only distinctly recall one time where I was in a restaurant or any other public place with a TV where Fixed Noise was on and that was several months ago (before the quarantine, obviously). But since the quarantine, Keith has not mentioned Bill-O on the air. Will that continue tonight or will Bill be a WORST....PERSON.....IN THE WORLD!!! once again? On that note, let's start the show!

I'm going to try to do this a little differently this time and go with a more reaction/analysis approach rather than summarizing what Keith says. Let's see how it works!

We've got Iran, Cheney, healthcare and Bill Maher, and US Air Flight 1549 that crashed into the Hudson and the struggle between the survivors and AIG tonight.

The tie: Purple, but I must say, whomever cut Keith's hair cut it way too short.

Number 5: Mousvavi vs. Ahmadinejad is quickly becoming the Bush vs. Gore of Iran. The question has essentially become did Ahmadinejad tamper with the results? Those charts make it look like he did, and while there certainly is a chance that he might have, I would highly doubt that the election results get overturned as it would be, especially seeing as Ayatollah Khomeini has already sided with Ahmadinejad. Bobby Ghosh from Time Magazine joins us and good grief, he reminds me of my one professor with that accent. The protests on the streets and the deaths are certainly disturbing and some of those images are hard to watch. And despite all of the political back-and-forth in the United States, it is nice to see that most protests are relatively civil here with nothing like what is going on in Iran happened here.

The neo-cons who were at once indifferent to the Iranian presidency as the aforementioned Ayatollah is the supreme ruler in Iran, however, now they are upset and partly blame President Obama for the results as it was Bush's tough foreign policy that kept things in order there. Steve Clemons from the New America Foundation has more. That footbage of the protests is still hard to watch. It's making me want to change the channel and watch something else. At least when O'Reilly does his Culture Warriors segment, there's something half decent to look at. ;-)

What do you guys think? Will the election be overturned? While it would certainly better the U.S. if it was, I don't think there is a rat's chance in hell of that happening.

We've got Letterman and Palin, Cheney, and AIG, U.S. Airways, and a survivor from that flight on the Hudson still to come so stay with us.

Number 4: Is Dick Cheney hoping for another attack on the United States? Leon Panetta suggests that he might, while Cheney vehemently denied it and I would have to agree with Cheney on that. He may be a complete moron, but I would doubt that the 43rd President of the United States, er, I mean veep to the 43rd President, would want that to happen. MSNBC Political Analyst Lawrence O'Donnell joins Keith to discuss more. Going more along the lines on Cheney, his popularity numbers are going to rise. It may not rise high, it may not be above 50%, but it is going to get higher. And the same with Bush's. It is doubtful that history will judge him as the worst president ever, as some suggested would happen during his term (turns away and pretends to stare around as if I have no idea what type of person would dare think such a horrible thought....nope, nothing to see here). And Letterman apologized to Palin again. He's taking the blame for it, although Palin most definitley forced that apology by going on and on about it. While considered liberal (and thus anti-Palin) by most, Letterman is not an ill-willed person like that. He would not intentionally say something like that to and about a 14-year old girl. It is curious to see what the Palin reaction will be. Will she accept it and let bygones be bygones or will she continue to hold a grudge? Palin being the media whore that she is, could go either way. And I don't mean it like that, Miss Wasilla if you are reading this. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO ISSUE 15 APOLOGIES EITHER ON BEHALF OF MYSELF, JAMESCRAVEN, AND SOMEHOW EVERY LIBERAL MINDED PERSON OUT THERE FOR THAT JOKE!!!!!!!!

It looks like The Murdoch Street Journal will be up for an award later in worsts. And I have no idea what the hell that was in the Oddball preview.

Oddball: John Lennon first performed at 15 on this day and the debut of Hee-Haw? Talk about Whiskey...Tango...Foxtrot?!? So why on earth did a dog end up being flushed in the toilet?? You gotta love the innocence of a small kid who just thought he was giving the dog a bath. Blago is being able to make fun of himself in some play. Odd. I guess that's why they call it Oddball. And the legacy of Zinedine Zidane lives!!!!!!!!

Obama vs. the GOP on healthcare and AIG vs. Flight 1549 coming up in a jiffy!

Aspeaking of Zidane and soccer in general, anyone watching the FIFA Confederation's Cup? Better yet, anyone following World Cup qualifying? Talk about interesting political implications. You have Iraq in the Confederations Cup and while it is unlikely they will play the U.S. at all seeing as it is unlikely that the U.S. and Iraq will make it out of their respective group, how about the possibility that North Korea qualifies to the World Cup and then ends up in the same group as the U.S.! That would be interesting to watch for sure. And Iran could also end up qualifying.

Number 3: Should the President abondon trying to achieve a bipartisan solution? While I think they should work together, affordable health care for all is a top priority and while the GOP claims that it is socialism and does not belong in the U.S., I say f*** it! Who cares if it is socialism as long as it works and brings about a better quality of life for all. We've got Bill Maher on and he is losing hope on Obama (but he still has audacity!). Not much of a Bill Maher fan. Actually, I don't think I've ever watched him. And speaking of HBO though (wait, it's on HBO, isn't it?), anyone planning on checking out Joe Buck Live? You know what, that may not be as much of a trainwreck as some people think it will be. While I frequently laugh at announcers, Joe Buck is probably the guy that I laugh with the most. That could be a good show. Really. It could. And maybe that's because I don't hate Joe Buck as much as I know others do. I think he's just fine as a football announcer. And maybe that's because he has a good partner in Aikman who is really good when not doing Cowboys games, and the rest of the lineup on Fox is pretty much downright atrocious, including, to steal a nickname that JC has for Michelle Malkin and apply it to someone else, Ashamed-Philadelphian Dick Stockton. And come on, Fox is also the network that passes Brian Baldinger as a credible analyst! (JC: But Baldy's outta a job now!)

Jonah Goldberg is a worst person coming up. Will he win the gold? Find out next!

Number 2 (Worst Person In The World)
Bronze - The Wall Murdoch Street Journal. Obama Administration did not take over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Bush did. And they called Obama a backdoor socialist for it. Wow....
Silver - Jonah Goldberg is claiming neo cons are conservative Jews. Yeah, I agree with Keith. I've never heard neo-cons tied with religion.
Gold - City Counil of Brooksville, Florida. They have a crazy dress code in which they require you to wear underwear and will be checking to make sure that you (yes, I'm talking about YOU) are wearing it.

Countdown has some weird commercials. That's all I'll say about that. U.S. Airways survivors vs. AIG coming up next. Insurance people can be such bags of douche at times that it is not even funny.

Number 1: AIG is not willing to pay for psychological counciling for the survivors of U.S. Airways Flight 1549. Tess Sosa, a survivor from that flight comes on to tell us more about AIG's douchebaggery. They're only giving three sessions per passenger??? God, that's cheap. Yeah, um, from what little bit I know about that type of therapy, you need more than three sessions to get that kind of stuff done.

"I think that a lot of the public are empathetic to us." - Tess Sosa

I would hope that all of the public would be empathetic to those survivors. Then again, what the hell do I know?

That's it for me today! Thanks for joining me all! Time to watch the debut of Joe Buck Live on HBO! I'll be back tomorrow for more Countdown and I think I'm doing I Survived A Japanese Gameshow on Wednesday.

When We Win, We Riot; When We Lose, We Riot

Never has the Philadelphia sports mantra towards championships been truer in two seperate instances over three days.

In Pittsburgh, after the Penguins won their first Stanley Cup in 17 years Friday night (6/12) and the city's second title after the Steelers defeated Arizona at Super Bowl Ex-El-Ay-Yai-Yai back in February, one local knucklehead kept alive the time-honored tradition via Morgantown, West Virginia of burning one's couch in the middle of the street. Forty-eight hours later, after the Los Angeles Lakers won the franchise's fifteenth NBA title (after Chick Hern announced from the great press box in the sky that "The refrigerator's closed and the door is shut, the light's out, the butter's getting hard, the eggs are getting cold and the Jell-O's starting to jiggle"), plenty of Angelinos used the excuse near LA Live and the Staples Center to burn down a few newsstands, with 18 arrests and eight of the LAPD injured.

All I can say is "Stay Classy, Penguins and Lakers fans." JFein will be here tonight and tomorrow (6/16) for the Countdown live blogs, if Shuster's not pinch hitting. See you Wednesday (6/17).

Friday, June 12, 2009

"The Granddaddy Of 'Em All" Moves to ESPN in 2011

ESPN now officially has made The Rose Bowl Game a pimp to cable.

In an unexpected move, TWWLS has moved college football's older post-season contest from over-the-air ABC to ESPN starting with the 2011 game. Here's the details.

Countdown Live Blog: 6/12/09

The Tie: Brown with tan spots.

Number 5: Statutory rape. That's what Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister said about David Letterman's jokes about Bristol Palin, not Willow on The Today Show expanding to all young women and claimed it was a weak excuse. Miss Wasilla 1984 still won't accept the apology for this, even after David did apologize Wednesday (6/10). Have fun storming the imaginary castle in the clouds. Blaming the naive "left-wing" media. Even Michael Steele "Sieve" didn't see the apology. Well, Richard Wolffe, are the Palin family pawns?

Number 4: And the winner of the Iranian Presidential Election is... Depends on who you ask. We're still waiting for Govenor Jeb Bushahad and the hanging chads from Floridaan. (YEAH, I WENT THERE AND BOUGHT THE CONDO!) Election access denials among others. Steve Clemons of TheWashingtonNote.com reports from London.

Oddball: In 1790 George Vancouver discovered the city named after him that will host the next Winter Olympics on the networks of NBC! Happy 85th birthday George H.W. Bush, enjoy jumping out of that airplane whilst parachuting. In Tokyo, at ther annual Food Tech show, more Japanese kickass robots of the week making food. And in kiev, it's a protest of cutting the H2O heat.

Best Persons: 3 - Lyle Silkwood in Columbia, SC jumped from a bridge and survived, but ran out of gas and jumped onto his friends boat. 2 - Freedomworks with commie fail. 1 - Bob McDonnell "Just say yes." The slogan by the group for Posative Sexuality.

Musical Segue: Hall and Oates' "Adult Education." Proud to be from Philly, unlike tonigt's WPitW winner...more later.

Number 3: The Good Oldboysandgirls party will now stonewall Sonia Sotomayor's nomination as will Operation Rescue, a christian far-right nutjob group. Jonathon Alter, what is going on?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Andy Brightbart, Hollywood nutjob reading Gawker. Stay Classy, sir.
Silver - Comedian Boss Limbaugh blames the healthy for the future National healthcare syste..
Gold - Ashamed native of Philadelphia Michele Magalagang Malkin shiows a tasteless joke about the 9/11 pilots ready to crash into the second Twin Tower about the Miranda rights.

Number 1:
It has been one year since Tim Russert passed away in his boots as it were. A reflection back at that fateful day Saturday (6/13)

Have a great weekend. JFein's pinch hitting on Monday and Tuesday (Three-hour RAW on Monday, Phillies-Blue Jays game on Tuesday), so be good to him, and I'll be back on Wednesday (6/17) not only with Countdown and the first live blog of I Survived a Japanese Game Show.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/11/09

The Tie: Red wth white midrodots.

Number 5: A Homeland Security depicition showed that James van Braunn was a right-wing nutcase carrying books with information as a hate crime and domestic terrorism and was an out and out racist. Now that the facts are out, we are joined by Mark potach from the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Comedian Boss Limbaugh and far right nut cases blamed the liberals for van Brann's hatred from com ing from the left. RUSH LIMBAUGH IS A BIG FAT LIAR. Van Brann was a right-wing nut job. Also the usual lies about Palin, Adolph XLIII, and Weinersavage about blacks, Jewish perople and others. Eugene Robinson explains it all as an African-American.

Number 4: Remember the governor of South Carolina? The guy who wanted to send back stim money? Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) who lost in court to a senior in high school in court, says it's time to send someone new to be the voice of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party now. Ryan Lizza of The New Yorker
comments.

Oddball: The Pennsylvania Railroad had claimed to the fastest railroad on this day. In Russia, there's a guy who makes big spoons! And now, the followup on Bret Michaels goes BOOM! A Tonys publicist clained he missed his mark and he posted pics. Bret's MySpace claimed otherwise.

Best Persons: 3 - Mario Bertuccio in Prague saw a life size photo of a family Christmas Card in a shop. 2 - In New Haven, CT, no H1N1 quaranteens after getting arrested.. 1 - Newt Gingrich reverses field on Miranda rights.

Musical Segue: EMF's "Unbeleievable"!

Number 3: David Letterman's apology was not accepted by Miss Wasilla 1984 and her husband. This after making jokes about eldest daughter Bristol that they thought was at the younger sister Willow on their Fairbook pages. And they won't be on Late Show. Margaret Carlson will now explain.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Liz Cheney said Adolph XLIII and said that he wouldn't bring terrorists from Gitmo here.
Silver - Coultergeist criticizes Letterman on Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister.
Gold - Rev. Jeremiah Wright hasn't talked to President Obama in a while, but blamed a lot of Jews. You sir, are a racist.

Number 1: Carrie Prejean who was told by The Donald "YOU'RE FIRED!" as Miss California USA had her presser today.

Oh, no! Michael Musto. I'm off to FARN and the Game 4 Live Blog. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/10/09

The Tie: Tealish silver.

Number 5: James Van Brunn, 88, killed an security guard named Steven Tyler Johns today at the National Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC a mere mile from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Claiming to have been a WWII vet, the Department of Homeland Security warned us about this, the Good Oldboysandgirls Party was outraged about it and Homeland Secratary Janet Napotalino has had to apologize for it. Police clam he was a loner and was sentenced to 6.5 years in jail in 1983 for trying to arrest members of the Federal Reserve Board. Pete Williams updates this story for us.
Meanwhile, Prof. Jack Levin of Northeastern University joins us to anaylize the recent events.

Number 4: Any other day, this would be the Number 5 story...Quick, name the leader of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party. Accoridng to a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll, the answer is nobody, with an overwhelming (or in the GOP's case, underwhelming) 52%. However, Comedian Boss Limbaugh was the highest ranked among those that were named at 13%, the Ayatollah Dickcheney got 10% whole John McCain and Newt Gingrich each got six percent, but Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister only got four votes. Okay, Richard Wolffe, no one is in charge. What do you do?

Oddball: In 1971, Michael Rennie passed away. Another bear in a tree in South Carolina and then in New Mexico. Cue the trampoline again! At the Bush compound, a traveling cast from A Chorus Line dropped by. So, are those actors are you happy to have a birthday, Barbara? And from the mugshot file, Phil Spector's new Wall of Sound is the echoes of his jail cell. Sans toupee.

Best Persons: 3 - AccuWeather.com checked into why homers have been flying out of the new Yankee Satdium and they found out The House That Steinbrenner Built has the fences five feet closer from the old place. 2 - An unknown bankrobber was caught with her heists in a recycled grocery bag. 1 - Carrie Prejean was sacked as Miss California USA by Donald Trump after getting the news from Billy Bush.


Musical Segue: Sha Na Na "Get A Job." They haven't been the same since Bowzer left.

Number 3: Sonia Sotomayor's latest furor amongst the GOP is that over many cases. Sen. Jeff Sessoms (R-AL) claims that she's a racist against white males. Gee, Michael Steele "Sieve", the same saying, eh? The Senate will have vetterd everything but the last 13 years. Well, Chris Cillizza, why we might have to wait until beforwe that First Monday in October for the whole shebang to occur?


Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Joe Ferra of WorldNetDaily claimed that the personal info about the two doctors with late term abortions was target of Olbermann's segment, and claims he has dozens of viewers. Try 1.2 milion.
Silver - Comedian siad that Obama and God don't have birth certificates, and James Vann Braunn opens fire at the Holocaust Museum. Poor joke, poor timing, poor everything.
Gold - Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN Mars) claimed to send successful Chrysler dealerships along with General Motors dealers along with a state senator. She also said "We've been a super power because of free market ecomonists." That would be economics! This is why WPitW was invented! Firedog Lake, please take note!

Number 1: Mister David Letterman would like to apologize to Bristol, eldest daughter of Miss Wasilla 1984 for the poor choice of humor on his show Monday night (6/8). He also wants to apologize for the "slutty airline flight attendant" joke as well in his Top Ten List. Miss Wasilla 1984, your thoughts? And yes, Keith objected to being near those seats with Rudy Giluianni. Craig Crawford, deliver the punchline!


And so with that, we'll see you tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 6/9/09

The Tie: Navy, white and silver.

Number 5: Newt Gingrich offered his vision of the year 2010...by going back to the 16th Century. Many of the far reich members were there, including the fact that the TARP fialed...with a profit of $1.8 billion, much from big banks as announced today, and saying unemployment was higher than expected (mostly because the GOP EPIC FAILED!) Well, Howard Fineman, Newt Gingrich, Really!?


And whilst this went on and on, and on... We seem to be better off as Newt went off as being not a citizen of the world. He pisses off North Korea, Cuba, Iran, Venezuela that slammed Obama's citizen of the world last July. Who was that masked man who said that? Ronald Wilson Reagan. Margaret Carlsson, please explain to the Good Oldboysandgirls Party why this happens.

Number 4: The terrorists are coming! The terrorists are coming! The first co-conspiator of the US embassy was in New York today to be tried, ask Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) about it except that all four of his co-defendants of his are all serving life at the supermax in Colorado. And the rest of the Hoya Paranoyan Republican leaders are screaming. Why not ask Chris Hayes from The Nation.


Oddball: The McCarthy Hearings question was asked 55 years ago. Ask Skeezix about that. In Sugar Creek, Ohio, a 41-year-old man was arrested in a one-piece thong women's swimsuit. And in Florida, a fisherman found a missile in the ocean and hid it...but it was a dud. And on the web, runway on top of a pool equals hilarity as a model falls in!


Best Persons: 3 - Tony Fratto revises history and criticized Obama's 600K jobs saved. 2 - Japan Airlines will no longer carry sporks. All to save fuel. 1 -
A Taipei judge ruled a man who knocked off a politican's wig is being sentenced to five months of jailtime.

Musical Segue: The theme from "Hair" by The Cowsills. Wow. Video goodness later tonight from that song!


Number 3: In the Mideast, when Obama's Arab-friendly speech saw the majority in Lebanon lose big. The top party in Lebanon said that someone calls out The Anti-American card, it may fail. Just ask TheWashingtonNote.com's Steve Clemons about that, and the Friday (6/12) Iranian presidential election.


Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Two New York state senators switched over to the GOP (but are still Democrats).
Silver - Frank Gaffney still an idiot as Assistant Secratary of State, playing the Muslim card on Obama.
Gold - Remember the GOP WTF Moment a few weeks ago critizing Comedian Boss Limbaugh? He knows about and doesn't care...

Number 1: Remember the days that Keith always mocked American Idol? Those days return with the news that Adam Lambert is gay! Idol diva Maria Milito, please tell all!


Ah, good times, good times. I'll be over at FireAndyReidNow.com's live blog checking in on the big ratings disaster night for the NHL's Stanley Cup Finals Game Six (a possible Red Wings clincher) against the NBA Finals Game 3. And on a related note (barring a certain pinch hitter for Keith Olbermann comes about), JFein will sub for me on Monday (6/15).