Monday, March 16, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 3/16/09

The Olbermann Across America tour continues as Keith's in Los Angeles this week to prepare for facing Bill Marher in Real Time this Friday on HBO. And Janeane Garofolo returns tonight as a special guest mocking Billo The Clown's list.

The Tie: Pink

Number 5: Herr Goebles went on CNN yesterday and said too many lies...blaming Obama for making America less safe, not blaming the Adolph XLIII administration for the economy and in response, Robert Gibbs stated that they got the next most popular memober of "the Republican Cabal" behind Boss Limbaugh. Not convicting those at Gitmo as well indeed. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac they claim didn't fail because of them? You dealt it, you smelled it. And Dana Perino, Gibbs' predecessor at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, said that it wasn't Adolph's fault, and last week's stock market rally wasn't Obama credited. Hey Richard "Don't call me 'Crazy Eddie'" Wolffe has some AIG stock for you Dana, and those prices are IN-SAAAAAAANE!!!
Oh, about American International Group...

Number 4: It's a good thing that none other than Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has for the moment broken away from his far right nay-sayers and criticize AIG for handing out over $165 million in bonuses after we gave them over $170 billion in bailout cash in the continuing saga of "Daddy, what did you do in jail during the bailout?" Now, New York State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo (Mario's son) is investigationg via supoenas and president Obama would like a $165 million refund to the government, and even Treasury Secratary Tim Geitner is holding the next payment, and two repreasentatives want to put taxes on top of the bonuses. So, as Robert Rrrrrrrrrrreich joins us from Berkeley, where he's a professor at Cal, and former Labor Secratary who advised Obama in his campaign, who's really in charge here at AIG?

Oddball: Twas on this date in 1906 Henny Youngman was born in Liverpool, England. And you thought he was born in Brooklyn. "Take my jokes, please!" And it's time for an Oddball favorite, the Kick-Ass Japanese Robot of the Week, and this week, it's Japan's Next Top Robot Model. Top that, Tyra Banks... Chuck Todd and Savannah Guthrie were doing some live stuff on MSNBC and Gibbs snuck in to get more face time.

Best Persons: 3 - Nottingham Rugby fans inflated attendance with blow-up dolls. (Get the mind out of the gutter and write your punchlines.) 2 - Erin Kelly's vet boss had his coffee spiked with valium, valium, valium...and she's now in the pokey as we speak. 1 - A tribute to John B. Hill, Keith's first boss at Cornell University's radio station, WVBR-FM as he passed on this weekend.

Number 3: So Adolph XLIII will be making his first speech as our former dictator president next week in Calgary. Alberta. Canada as the usually boring ex-wrestler fake fighter entertainer Lance Storm used to say. Stephen Harper, Canada's PM is not commenting about it, but special guest Gail Davidson explains the Canadian Law which would prevent Adolph from even entering Canada for many different reasons, from a past DUI to war crimes.
And as we speak, they're making progress.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

(NOTE: Tonight's winner and runners up are eligible for Friday's Worst Person in the World of the Week)
Bronze - Richard Johnson, Page Six editor at one of New York's Finest Newspapers, takes Keith to task with a conflict with Olbermann and Topps.
Silver -
Fixed and Fiends ex-weather forcaster Steve Doocy repeats the lie from an Fixed Noise anaylist said that there's a connection between the new president of El Salvador and the leader of Venzuela...Ceasr Chavez!
Gold - A Florida representaive wants to have all presidential canaidates show proof of being born in the USA. Please show us your proof of living on Planet Earth, sir.

Number 1: "Left Wing Smear Machine Week" begins as Janeane Garofolo joins us and accepts the fourth-runner-up on Billo and Bernie's mockulist as a result of last week's shenanigans on the Orally Comedy Revue.

I'll see you tomorrow for the St. Pat's Day all-green lettering special. Remeber to keep your beer safe, have it spayed or neutered.

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