Friday, July 31, 2009

Why Cleveland Indians Management Are Douchnozzles

The Cleveland Indians not only gave Cliff Lee to the Phillies on a silver platter, but now traded Victor Martinez to the Boston Red Sox for three minor leaguers.

Not only that, tomorrow (8/1) will be Victor Martinez Bobblehead night. Carl Lewis just called, and he said "Uh-oh!"

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

ISaJGS Live Blog: 07/29/09

Last week, we said (sadly) "Sayonara" to Langhorne/Fairless Hills' own Jamie after she got the big whamboozle in the elimination game, and now for the third time in this series, the sides are going to be evened out. Now back at it's regular time, will Cathy move back to the Red Robots from the Green Tigers or will they send someone else there instead? It's time for us to get the all-important answers...EVERYBODY...


We Said "Forget Halliday", It's Cliff Lee That'll Be A Phillie

The other day, we mentioned the Roy Halliday story and said forget about it in our random notes. Now, we can say the Phillies have made a deal.

Pending the medical exams, the Phillies will get LHP Cliff Lee, the defending American League Cy Young Award holder and OF "Where in the World Is" Ben Francisco in exchange for four minor leaguers, and not one of them is not named Kyle Drabek. Those four will be Jason Donald (SS), Lou Marson (C), Jason Knapp and Carlos Carrasco (both RHPs).

Quick, what was the last trade the Phillies made with the Indians? You might have thought it was Von Hayes for Manny Trillo, Julio Franco and three others. Nope, it was Jason Michaels for Arthur "Thunder" Rhodes in 2006.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Random Stuff

Well, since Keith has been unseen on the TV screen for the last couple weeks, here's a couple random items to keep you in the "Things that make you go 'Hmmmmmm'" mode:
  • Penn State had a great year on the football field last year before heading to Pasadena and losing to the University of Southern California. The Nittany Lions are considered favorites to repeat this year, with the return to Pasadena in all possible one way or another as the BCS title game will be there. They can also take honor if they go all the way as they have been named by The Princeton Review as America's Number One Party School.
  • Yeah, that moron with the laser pointer should be banned from every park.
  • Did anyone notice that LPGA golfer Sophie Gustenson wore a Phillies cap at the Evian Masters this week in France. The Red Planet is now universal.
  • It looks like Roy Halliday will stay in Toronto for the rest of this season.
  • Michael Vick should be banned from the NFL for life because of the illegal gambling undertones in dogfighting. There I said it.
  • The Washington Nationals finally did something right. Josh Willingham hit two grand slams against the Brewers last night (7/28).
  • Sam Rosen, Tim Ryan (the ex-football player) and Chris Myers (yes, Hollywood himself) for the Eagles-Panthers September 13? The Phillies will still be on the forefront for a couple more months until their season is over. It was the other way around in 1998 and 1999.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Oh, Why Not? It's The Date That Counts...

Happy Christmas in July. And remember, only 152 shoplifting days until the real Christmas.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Further Proof That Prof. Harold Hill is Losing His Mind...

Yes, he's talking to himself. Three words, Glenn: Seek professional help!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

ISaJGS Season 2 Ep 6 Live Blog 7/22/09

JFein's back from his National Lampoon'd European Vacation, and I have the game names for tonight (Futon Critic press release'd!) We're starting an hour late tonight thanks to Presient Obama, and this evening the compitition will be a new episode of The Philanthropist on NBC and on CBS, a repeat of CSI: New York.

If you missed last week, Cathy "volunteered" to switch back from the Red Robots to the Green Tigers to even out the teams, and Fairless Hill's Jamie won the elimination game against her lovey-dovey Drew. Tonight, we have the return of an oldie but goodie from Season 1, so, if you're ready...everybody...


Monday, July 20, 2009

Quick Notes on Wednesday (7/22)

We have important news on Wednesday (7/22).

President Obama is scheduled to have a press conference at 8 PM ET/5 PM PT on all major over-the-air channels except for Fox, which will air So You Think You Can Dance instead, and as per the Obama White House protocol, will not be answering any questions from anybody at Fixed Noise as punishment. I'm lucky that the Phillies game this Wednesday is an afternoon affair with Da Cubs, but the game August 19 is a night time affair with Arizona (it's sold out because of a Brad Lidge figurine giveaway), that is the date for the Season Two finale of I Survived a Japanese Game Show.

As for Countdown? Live show at 9 PM, and followed at 10 by the live blog of ISaJGS. ABC dumped a PrimeTime special on oil to make room for the presser.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

ISaJGS Season 2 Ep 5 Live Blog 7/15/09

A little something different tonight (7/15) as my tag-team partner Mr. Feinburg is away in Europe on a vacation. We won't be using the Scribble Live per usual, but I'll do it the same way I handle Countdown when Keith's on.

For those of you who missed last week's show, the Red Robots swept both games, went to a local race track to do some racing and drifting, while the Green Tigers were saddled with working at a Tokyo gas station where they expect you to have full service, proving the title The Fast and The Furious Tokyo Drift came true. Bobaloo was eliminated by Megan in a walkoff, while members of the Sayonara Mob have been put on the disabled list for the rest of the season with herniated discs due to his weight.

And for the second switch of the season tonight, one Red Robot will join the Green Tigers. I'm betting on Drew to be the one. Please don't send Jamie from Fairless Hills over there... So if you're ready...EVERYBODY...


As the day starts, we learn Jamie's having an affair with Drew. And wigs arrive for the first game, as Rome busts a move. AND DID MEGAN JUST KISS HIM? Let's play SOCCER TIME WITH GRANDPA! But first, it's time to even out the sides, and Cathy switches back to the Green Tigers. And the Green Tigers go first wearing whacky vision goggles. The first goal as a riccochet, while the second through fifth are all legit. The Red Robots are on deck.

And the Robots get the hang if it getting first two, but Jamie hits a camera. Times a wastin' and the Red Robots can muster only three so the Green Tigers win the advantage for the next game which promises to get sticky. It's called STUCK ON GOLF! The advantage is a member of the losing team wears shackles. The game involves giant balls and a sticky course, and Jamie is stuck on the floor already, and the team with the least balls left on the muck wins.

Well, we're back from commercial and the Red Robots get in the swing of things...and Rome and Judge Bobu are having to be in the danger zone. The Green Tigers left 15 balls, while the Red Robots left 24. As their reward, the Green Tigers will meet the best sake maker and taste some Yamagata beef. The Red Robots though will pick seaweed. More important, two of their players will play an elimination game. And Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jamie's crying...because she might be going back to Fairless Hills. In anaylsis, Cathy should have stayed with the Red Robots, but she volunteered to go back to the Green Tigers. And she's become a good luck charm for her teams, in spite of everything.

Now at 3 AM in the morning, the Red Robots are going out to harvest seaweed. Drew wants to get out with an uneasy feeling. Me thinks it's elimination game for him. Meanwhile, Mama-san gets to be the resident translator for the Green Tigers for their Sake tasting three hours north of Tokyo, and meet actual Geisha Girls serving that Yamagata beef. Now it's elimination day and Drew and Jamie will face the music of alliance alienation in the elimination game. Oh, Jamie was backstabbed by Dan! Since the Robots can't decide, the Green Tigers pick Jamie and Drew.

Let's play the Elimination Rome wears a white suit with a purple shirt and red tie. And the game is SQUISHY SQUID FACE! The player that removes the most squids with their mouths covered in pantyhose tied to a rope witin two minutes in a head-to-head race stays in Japan for another week. The loser officially will leave via the Sayonara Mob. Jamie is faster then me on a bending Diet Pepsi spinner...but Drew is catching up. But when all is said and done, Jamie has a dozen squid, Drew had 11, and Jamie survives.

Well, that's it for this week, so be here next week for another live blog, either by myself or with Justin, who might be having jet lag moments.

Countdown Live Blog: 7/15/09

The Tie: Red, blue and gold stripes.

Number 5: The Goodoldboysandgirls Party are still racist and attacking Pureto Rican terrorists in ads on Day Three of the Sonia Sotomayor hearings. Yesterday, Sen. Jeff Sessoms (R-AL) attacked the racist card, and today, looking fo the "Wise Latina" attack from Sen. John Cornym plays the "Gee, I forgot aboit it" card, as four years ago, Sen. Connym gave the same question to future Supreme Court chief John Roberts. And, Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) - fresh from the FedEx run of one Sen. Jon Ensign (R-NV) scandal ("SHUT UP, COBURN!") - went into a pregnancy question and became Ricky Ricardo, while Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) touched on the judicial activism inquiry. Meantime, Comedian Boss Limbaugh went off the deep end on questions in advance...and turned the hearings off as he claimed that she was "scary". And there was a ad from the GOP attacking her Latino fellows, claiming she protected Puerto Rican Terrorists. Richard Wolffe, please divert your eyes from burning.

Number 4: Big Pharma + Insurance + GOP = collusion. That's why they added 160 amendments to President Obama's Health Care Reform Plan. And they may not vote for it, so therein lies a losing cause of the end of cooperation. It was easier to throw out the first ball last night (7/14) at the Al-Star Game in St. Louis. Now, the words are "Lead, follow or get out of the damned way." Lawrence O'Donnell will now examine ther GOP's colective heads.

Oddball: Napolean surrendered to the Brits in 1815. In Holland's six beaches, tampons in the air on parchutes. Denissa the giraffe gave birth to her eleventh calf at the Tel Aviv Zoo. Beats the Octomom by a mile... And we have video proof of the Pittsburgh misspelling has gotten worse...

Best Persons: 3 - Proof Obama has quizzed Tim Wakefield on the knuckleball. 2 - A sudsy homeowner in Maine gave a beer to someone...non-alcoholic. 1 - Hamas claims Israeli officers are offering gum to youngsters. Sorry folks, no musical segue tonight.

Number 3: Herr Goebles Cheney, Rumsfeld and Adolph XLIII screwed up a couple asassination attempts on Obama bin Laden covert named "Boxtop". The military picked it up, and killed al-Qaeda supporters. Jack Rice, any ideas why their heads were up their asses?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Jake Tapper of ABC News slimes NBC News for producers who had the South Carolina affair.
Silver - Comedian Boss Limbaugh blasts "The Ed Show" callinjg it "The Mr. Ed Show." Willll-bur!
Gold - Did you hear about the guy who blasted Obama on going to Afghanistan and sued? He was fired by tonight's winner, Leigh Tate, because he was working for a Pentagon contractor...

Number 1: As told above in the title line, Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) and Sen. Jon Ensign (R-NV) are seemingly auditioning for the Cake Flatulence remake for YouTube. Gov. Sanford is not "Hiking the Appalachian Trail" with his wife by going on vacation from Argentine trysts. Meanwhile, Sen. Ensign is looking to run for reelection, but not before hios mistress delivers a sexual harassment or wrongful termination lawsuit. At least Democrats are honest when it comes to scandals and leave office in disgrace, am I right, Prof. Melissa Harris-Lacewell coming from N'Awlins this evening?

Join me upstairs for this week's edition of I Survived a Japanese Game Show in

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sorry, No Live Blog Tonight

Due to duties at FARN of the Major League Baseball All-Star Game live blog, there was no Counrdown live blog tonight (7/14). Nothing wrong with that mind you, but I'm hosting it because JFein is on a European Vacation the Grizwald family isn't taking. However, you can join me for a two-for-one Wednesday Live Blog Doubleheader of both Countdown and I Survived a Japanese Game Show tonight (7/15) starting at 8 PM US EDT.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 7/13/09

The Tie: Purple, black and silver stripes.

Number 5: The Adolph XLIII Gestapo failed at everything, and The Murdoch Street Journal reported that there was a secret plan to get Al-Qaeda secretly. The Ayatollah Herr Dickcheney Goebles tried to cover it up, so he sent his daughter Elizabeth to do media briefings. Jane Mayer from The New Yorker is here to tell us all about it, and then Jonathan Alter explains Liz' foot-in-mouth story.

Number 4: Eric Holder wants to look into illegal enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding, but will be limited to a limited placement with a special prosecution man. And what Holder saw turned his stomach, so Prof. Jonathon Turley, explain this.

Oddball: Harry Kraus was born 121 years ago, quite a pitcher until he had a sore arm. The G8 summit had some mooning on Tg1 in Italy. Moonlight becomes you... Greenville, South Carolina had a squirrel with a yogurt cup on its head. A yogurt cup on its' head.

Best Persons: 3 - In 80 years of Morse code, Pittsburgh misspelling. 2 - Wendell Potter said Michael Moore's Sicko was spot on. 1 -
Dr. Richard Williams said that those who can endure pain, by encouraged to cuse out loud.

Musical Segue: The Police's "King of Pain."
Hot Hit 4 at 8:31 PM, 78 degrees. (All of you who lived through the 1980's will get that last line.)

Number 3: It's a lost cause for Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL), onetime racist and rejected judicial nominee and the other members of the Good Oldboysadgirls Party in the Sotomayor hearings. The questions will begin tomorrow. Even Lindsay Graham (R-SC) has admitted that barring a complete meltdown, she's on the bench. Sotomayor also directed the Latino direction in her cases. Lawrence O'Donnell now joins us to anaylize it all.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Comedian Boss Limbaugh begs for attention by comparing Sotomayor to George Allen (the son of the old Redskin coach.)
Silver - Jim Thompson of removed a racist thread about The First family...three days late. they went on to list old addresses of e-mails.
Gold - Rev. Riley Blake prays to God that Obama be dead.

Number 1: Miss Wasliia 1984 will never go away, threatening to start a rogue party of far right Democrats that believes in her views. And Levi johnston thought about doing a reality show. Meanwhile, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), loser to President Obama last November was shocked that Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister quit. Chris Cillizza, any ideas?

I'm off to FARN for the Home Run Derby live blog. See you tomorrow.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 7/10/09

The Tie: Bronze.

Number 5: EARTH SHATTERING BREAKING NEWS - When did Adolph XLIII lie and when did John Ashcroft sign the order to non-subpoena intel from Fredo in the ICU? Five inspector generals released a report claiming this did indeed happen just as it was to expire. Secret surveillance programs beyond wiretapping were also ran in the days following 9/11, and a White House official added a paragraph to a post-9/11 CIA threat asessment memo, so Richard Wolffe is here to answer it all for us, and believe it or not, Herr Goebles Cheney was not involved. James Risen, Pulitzer Prize winner from The New York Times adds his two cents to it all.

Number 4: Professor Jonathon Turley joins us to explain the legal consequences that await Adolph, Fredo and the rest.

Oddball: Mexico's manager trips up a Panamanian soccer player. Insert your balls joke. And Paul Shaffer hits himself with his glasses.

Best Persons: 3 - La Tribune in Paris has bad translations into English on their new website. 2 - Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister tweets about her little fishing and quotes Plato. Wrong person. 1 - An unknown tatooee flees the Tyler, Texas ink parlor after Visa denies him the $200 bill.

Musical Segue: Blondie's "One Way of Another."

Number 3: Oh, Sen. Jon Ensign (R-NV) and the Puppet Theatre. In the meantime, the Hamptons got $96K and a Christian fellowship got into the act, and FedEx'd overnight letter, and he told her to ignore it. Adds a whole new meaning to "Summer in the Hamptons." Puppet Video here:
Oh Margaret Carlson, welcome back and embarrass everyone.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Steve Balmer, Microsoft chairman, said within a decade, technology will be paper thin tech. Ask me about it! Keith also gets the same virtual middle fngers I do!
Silver - In Afghanistan, legalized rape will be replaced by starvation among married couples. Welcome to the Twelvth Century.
Gold - Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) wants state representative Cynthia Dunbar to be The Lone Star State's Board of Educaion Chairperson thinking that publi school should be aboloshed

Number 1: So Levi Johnston, the former boyfriend of Bristol Palin, whose mom is Miss Wasilla 1984, claims this resignation biz is all about the mon-hay! That book advance can only pay so many bills until they stop buying the books. He's writing his own tell-all book that will be a made-for-TV movie of the week on Lifetime. And the Good Oldboysandgirls Party don't want her to be at a fundraiser. Chris Kofinis, have you got any ideas what's going on?

And that's it for the week. Catch you on Monday.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 7/9/09

The Tie: Purple.

Number 5: Don't trust the CIA anymore. Misleading Congress since the outset of the Adolph XLIII Gestapo, and consealing things from Congress is policy...what part of the word "lie" don't they get? Ask John Boehner (R-OH), the House Minority Leader. Meanwhile, Speker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), whom he targeted, and won't apologize. Rep. Rush Holt (D-NJ) joins us to answer what he knows..only to have been cut off by a Rudy Martzke Memorial Dreaded Glitch and a Howard Fineman cameo, but the problem was fixed quickly. And Fineman joins us later for his view... A Democrat named Rush? HOW ORIGINAL!

Number 4: Miss Wasilla 1984's time as Governor of Alaska is now about the legal systemm, as in by quitting, she said that the reason Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister is quitting was to save money in the lawyers. WRONG ANSWER! It was already budgeted before and after she left. Even her successor lied through his damn teeth. Margaret Carlson, tell us about Sarah's lies.

Oddball: Tom Seaver's nearly perfect game occured on this day forty years ago. And it's the running of Da Bulls in Pamplona, and Oddball roots for Da Bulls. In Germany, a perp steals a tractor at 12 MPH with six cop cars chasing him.

Best Persons: 3 - Natalie Jasmer hid so well in a game of hide-and-seek, the cops were called. 2 - Rep. Steve King (R-NY) he of Michael Jackson's child molesting imfamany, was against Congress putting a slavery plaque. You, sir, are now officially certified as a racist. 1 -
Turdblossom uses The Murdoch Street Journal to criticize the Obama Stimulai.

Musical Segue: Your guess is as good as mine...

Number 3: The Sonia Sotomayor Supreme Court nomination hearings begins Monday (7/13), and Sen. Jeff Sessoms (R-AL) claimed that the Puerto Rican Civil Defense Fund was "racist", and Louis Freed, ex-FBI boss will testify in her favor. In addition, she's highly qualified according to the Amrian Bar Association. Chris Cillizza, any thoughts?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Dr. John Dusler of the Valley Swim Club in nearby Huntington Valley discrimanates against over 70 black and Hispanic kids from a day camp.
Silver - News of the World (owned by NewsCorpse) hacked phones, emails, etc. among many celebs.
Gold - Coultergeist doesn't believe Miss Wasilla 1984, Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister is hot...but does Rich Lowry know about it?

Number 1: has a new definition: "Pulling a Palin". Let us introduce you to some additional politically-themed defnitions.

And also some EARTH SATTERING BREAKING NEWS - Seems Sen. Jon Ensign (R-NV) had his parents pay the parents oif his mistress $98K. So with that, I'm pulling an exit...stage left. Have a great trip, JFein to Europe, and I'll be back tomorrow night. Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on your FireAndyReidNow! blog for the time being.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Tokyo Broadcasting System is Not Amused About Wipeout

Tokyo Broadcasting System has sued ABC (and in essence, attempting to sue Endemol USA) over the hit show Wipeout. As per from October of last year:

"Leading Japanese broadcaster Tokyo Broadcasting System has filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against ABC, charging that summer hit 'Wipeout' is 'a blatant copycat' of several of its classic Japanese competition series. TBS owns the Japanese copyright to the obstacle course series 'Takeshi's Castle,' co-owns the rights to Spike TV's 'MXC' (which uses footage from 'Castle') and owns the copyright to competition series 'Sasuke' (whose repeats air under the title 'Ninja Warrior' on G4).

'''From the moment ABC revealed 'Wipeout' to the public, that program has been routinely described as a rip-off and knockoff of Plaintiff's shows,' reads the complaint, filed in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles. 'ABC's willful and wrongful use of Plaintiff's shows to create 'Wipeout' is egregious, inexcusable and not to be tolerated.' Among the charges are that ABC bought search terms such as 'MXC' on Google to help drive traffic to the official Wipeout page, and that specific obstacles in Wipeout were knock-offs of challenges in the Japanese shows.

"'Wipeout' unlawfully appropriates the premise, the format, the sequence of events, the introductory segment, the tone, the scene setups, the narration, the dialogue that arises from constructed situations ... of the shows,' the lawsuit reads. Successful reality series often draw lawsuits from parties alleging the concept was stolen. However, the complaints usually involve producing entities. A major broadcast network suing another over a reality series is extremely rare. In 2002, CBS accused ABC of knocking off 'Survivor' with its reality effort 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here,' yet a judge ruled in ABC's favor and allowed the show to continue. (Another version failed yet miserably this summer over on NBC.)

"Spike TV (owned by Viacom) had earlier issued a press release joking about the shows being alike, though a producer of 'MXC' was less amused by the similarity. Notably missing from the defendant list on TBS' complaint is Endemol USA, the company producing 'Wipeout.' A separate lawsuit against Endemol is pending, sources said. In addition to its successful run in the U.S., Endemol is actively selling the show's format around the world, directly competing with the formats for TBS' series.

"The suit on behalf of TBS was filed by top litigation attorney Larry Stein, known mostly for his high-profile profit participation cases. He has filed two major complaints against ABC in the past, one involving the producers of longrunning comedy 'Home Improvement' and one involving 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' producer [Sony Pictures Entertainment, successor to 2waymedia and Celador, the original creators of the show], which is awaiting trial. In July, ABC Studios was slammed for a leaked memo which has been described as a blueprint for stealing foreign formats (though it should be noted that the letter was from the studio instead of the network, and related to scripted programming instead of reality). ABC and Stein had no comment."

Here's the video proof from those at MXC.

I think TBS has a good chance of wnning this suit if you ask me.

ISaJGS Season 2 Ep 4 Live Blog 7/8/09

For those of you who missed last week, those Red Robots found themselves with Cathy the soccer domestic engineer coming over from the Green Tigers evening the sides, and then proceeded to win both their challenges. For their reward, the team got to eat at a inn where monkeys are the waiters getting there via the Bullet Train. Meantime, the Green Team faced the music and built a zen garden at the Majide House, and that salsa-dancing fool Brent won survival while Debbie the horse stable lady was sent back to the USA. Tonight (7/8) brings us both the messiest and the most painful game ever devised.


Countdown Live Blog: 7/8/09

The Tie: That red number with the white micropindots.

Number 5: EARTH SHATTERING BREAKING NEWS - CIA Director Leon Panetta says he won't retract the fact that has hidden information on enhanced interrigation techiniques waterboarding. Agency officials did lie from the start of the Adolph XLIII Gestapo! The statement of May 15th should be corrected, and the CIA mislead Congress, thus proving Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) right. Andrea Mitchell updates us on the story breaking
on the eve of the voting on the new Intel bill. Former CIA officer Jack Rice then joins us on the lynchpin turning point of all this.

Number 4: Miss Wasilla 1984 is still in the news, and this circus left town a long time ago, unless your name is David Letterman. And what about the interview she did while fishing with her husband yesterday. Meanwhile, Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister's numbers are plunging in the polls like a rock, as a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll says that 70% haven't changed their opinions. That is unless your name is Comedian Boss Limbaugh or Skeezix. And then there's her Twitter page. Okay, Howard Fineman, decipher this if you please.

Oddball: Happy birthday Jeffrey Tambor, a/k/a Mr. Big on WordGirl. In Tehran, in his first speech since winning, that Iranian president killed a moth. If you're Joyce DeWitt, or Eddie Mekka, get a designated driver. And Marky Mark Wahlberg misfires on the first pitch, and got help from Mike O'Malley proving Wahlberg didn't have the GUTS.
(If you can decipher the 1980's and 1990's Nick reference, you win - cue Jay Stewart - A BRAND NEW CAR! No, not really...)

Best Persons (All Dumb Criminals All the Time Edition): 3 - "John Qunicy Adams" arrested for DUI. 2 - Two men break into a Mexican cell phone stotre, and stole the replicas. 1 - Jonathon Schultz was driving pantsless in Rising Sun, MD, doing 70 MPH in a 50 MPH zone.

Musical Segue: "Drive" by The Cars.

Number 3: There's been aTurdblossom sighting (outside of Fixed Noise!) Testifying on the politically charged firings of prosicutors in the DoJ within the Senate Judicial Committee, and now will appear again at the end of the month. Chris Hayes from The Nation explains. Also, we learn Gonzo's going to teach at Texas Tech where Bob Knight used to coach after the Indiana disgrace.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Rasputin at Freedom Works blames that money from lobbyists for "smiley face facistism".
Silver - Sen. James Inhoffe (R-OK) calls He, The Senator Of the Decade Al Fanken (D-MN) a clown.
Gold - State Sen. Sylvia Allen (R-AZ) looks into uranium mining for this six milion years old planet.

Number 1: Earlier, I mentioned Miss Wasilla 1984, the Evil Twin Sister of Elizabeth Santamatina Fey, and her fishing excursion with her hubby and the overalls se wore. David Letterman will check in later this evening with the comedy. Christian Finnegan checks in now with his own material.

Why don't you go upstairs and join me and JFein for our weekly visit to I Survived a Japanese Game Show before ABC pulls it from the schedule and places the remaining episodes online like CBS did with Pirate Master.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 7/7/09 (And A Rant The Likes Of Which This Blog Only Sees When ESPN And TBS Show Their Mid-Western Media Bias)

(Guest posted by JFein from Fire Andy Reid Now!)

I just found out that I have to run an unexpected errand to run so I may be a bit late. If I'm back in time, I'll do the live blog as normal, although I have a new and totally different style for this than what you're used to that I think will work, although it will only work if I'm back in time for 8. If I'm back between 8-8:15, then I will do the live blog on a bit of a delay for those following live from my DVR which is recording the show and I'll just use the style I've been using (which is essentially the same as JC's, although I put more of my opinion in the story, which at times disagrees with Olbermann; my new style would not work like this). If I'm back after 8:15, then I'll just do a plausibly live blog at 10. As for the style that will be used then, well, I'll see how I feel.

I'm in a few minutes late, so I'll stick to the old format.

The Tie: Black with silver and purple stripes.

Number 5: All about Sarah Palin. She's up to her old tricks and she claimed that she knew that she would not run for re-election when she was chosen as McCain's veep. Riiight. She is also now claiming that she is not sure if she will run for the White House in 2012. Richard Wolffe joins from Washington.

"There is nothing quite as dead as a dead fish, and this is a dead fish of an idea." - Richard Wolffe making no sense.

"She was not ready for primetime, she was not even ready for daytime." - Richard Wolffe. Sarah Palin is a media whore. I think she was ready for primetime and she was ready for the lights, but in a way in which we were not prepared. She wants to be talked about, she wants to stay relevent. That is her M.O. and to that point she succeeded greatly. She's a terrible politician, but hey, we're talking about her non-stop, aren't we?

Why am I even opining on her? Ugh. I can't stand her, honestly. There are good Republicans and bad Republicans (the same can be said with democrats), and Palin is a bad one. Also, that being said, the media really framed her as a no-nothing. Claims of an anti-Palin bias by political media watchers do have a very solid base. Case and point of anti-Palin media: The man we are currently watching, Keith Olbermann. Another case and point, the man who Keith just showed a clip of, David Letterman. Sarah Palin, as much as I can't stand her, did get a bad break from the media this campaign.

Eugene Robinson is basically talking about the point that I just made but saying the other way. There were total lies about Palin out there that were spread out as truth (i.e.
Keith Olbermann's lie about Palin and the Alaska Special Olympics).

And why is Keith going back to the Letterman-Palin feud. I honestly summed it up best in an email to kt1000 earlier today, at times Keith is hilarious and very eloquent and fun to listen to, and other times, he is so off-the-wall and so wrong that he just drives me crazy and I want to tell him to shut up.

Number 4: Ladies and gentlemen, Senator Al Franken! And I do have something to say about this. With the democratic swinging independents, the Dems now have a filibuster proof majority. It's a super-majority in both the House and the Senate and regardless of what Keith, Howard Dean (who is now being interviewed by Keith), says, THAT IS A BAD THING!!!!!!!!!!!! Forget the fact that I am a Democrat, absolute power corrupts absolutely. It's a proven fact of history. I just hope that they listen to the other opinons and don't just completely blow off the Republicans for if they do, and I'm calling it right now, this administration will fail, to use the words of Rush Limbaugh. And I'm also calling it right now, the Republicans will win seats back in the House and the Senate in 2010.

I'm quickly starting to realize that after
my rant at FARN! a little over a week ago, it's too soon to be live blogging this again. Sorry JC, I'm not trying to be negative or anything. I really should have said no....

Oddball: Doc Severenson's birthday. He's a Countdown viewer; who knew? The Prince Of Tight-Rope Walking Contest in China. Did Keith just say, "The Great Fall of China?" Ugh. In India, a new speaker of the House of Parliament made a speech that caused everyone to fall asleep. And there is a tub run in Japan.

Best Persons
3. Reps Jean Schmidt and John Shimkus, a pair of anti-gays, are going to an Elton John concert.
2. Viktor Mirosiichenko wants your immortal soul.
1. A son who was angry with his Mom sold naked photos of her online. The Mom would prefer the "glamor" photos of her in her underwear.

Number 3: Mark Sanford......Argentine lover......possible censure.......Margaret Carlson.....yada yada yada.....

Time to turn to O'Reilly for a bit. Glenn Beck is on vacation somewhere, however, O'Reilly can't say where he is.

"If I told you, then I would have to kill you." - Bill O'Reilly

Hey!!!! That's my line!!! Only it's my line with the few magic tricks that I know. If you ever want to learn the secrets of the great illusions of magic, check out Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed on MyNetworkTv at 9 ET. Everything from Copperfield walking through the Great Wall of China, holding your breath underwater for 18 minutes, Criss Angel's walking on water.....I know how are all done. Now if only I could buy the equipment to do these tricks, I could be a millionaire!!!! You don't have to watch the show, if you don't want to. I could tell you right now how those tricks are done......but then I'd have to kill you.

They are just showing the best of the At Your Beck And Call segments as Beck is on vacation as mentioned above. Odd moments between the 2. Very odd.

Back to Keith now for the Worst Persons In The World.
Bronze: Manny Ramirez!!!!!!!!!! Man-Ram did not buy any of his minor league teams and/or teammates anything, as is generally tradition when one has a rehab stint in the minors.
Silver: Joe The Plumber is going off again on illegal immigrants. Wait, did he just insinuate that Joe may have ancestors who are illegal? Did I hear that right? WTF, Keith, WTF??? Hence the, "he drives me crazy" from above.
Gold: Michael Scheuer went on Glenn Beck's show and said that the U.S.'s only chance as a country is for Osama to detonate a "major weapon" in the U.S. And wait a minute, KEITH?????? Tell me he didn't.............He just criticized Glenn Beck for not saying anything!!!!!! OLBERMANN, YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JEANINE GAROFALO, HELLO!!!!!!!! NEED I REMIND YOU OF HER????????????????


And no, this is not me defending what Scheuer said or Beck's reaction. It was extremely stupid, idiotic, and uncalled for and both he and Beck are certainly deserving of the tongue-lashing given to them. But this is not about that. It's me calling out hypocrisy! I'll have the WPITW video up in a moment when it becomes available.

Michael Scheuer, Glenn Beck, and Keith Olbermann are today's worst persons in the world. All 3 of them.

I will say this, though, if you did not understand or know where I was coming from in my rant that I linked to above, here it is. Here's the Garofalo video and I'll have video from today up a little later. And keep in mind, these are not right-wing, OlbermannWatch edited videos I am showing you. This is raw footage you are about to see. Watch this and tell me that there is no hypocrisy here.

Garofalo on Countdown claiming that EVERY American who protested Obama's tax plan and calling them all racist and Keith audibly agreeing with that assessment.

Keith Olbermann criticizing Glenn Beck for not saying anything when Scheuer said that the only chance the U.S. has is for Osama to attack the U.S. again with a major weapon.

The #1 story is video of David Letterman on Sarah Palin.

But back to WPITW. I challenge anyone that is a fan of him and believes that Keith Olbermann can do no wrong to defend this, either in the comment section or by emailing me at if you're gun shy when it comes to blog comment sections.

And keep in mind, I've said this a thousand times and I'll say it again because this always seems to be a point that comes up when someone criticizes Olbermann. I am a liberal democrat. I campaigned hard and voted for Obama throughout. I had Obama's back since Day 1 of the Primaries. This is not a left and right issue. This is not an issue of politics. It's an issue of journalism integrity, and to that point, Keith has none of it. Great comments at times, great liberal commentary at times (see Prop 8 special comment), although the lack of debate foils it at times, and the back and forth between him and Steinberg that you can read about below here was great.

And I guess that's just it. Keith Olbermann should get out of politics and stick to sports 100% of the way. Whether it be a radio show, a permanent sports job with NBC (we all know that he burnt every bridge possible at ESPN, so there's no going back there), a sports job on cable at Turner, Versus, wherever. He needs to stick with sports. Because when it comes to politics, his hypocrisy is so overwhelming it's not even funny. My trip to Europe (and subsequent vacation from Keith) can't come soon enough...

Keith Olbermann Vs. Dan Steinberg: The Online Flame War!

(Cross-posted by JFein from Fire Andy Reid Now!)

I have been very serious in my criticizing and condemnation of Fox for doing a split-screen for Manny Ramirez's at-bats in his second game back from steroid suspension during the Muts-Phillies game on Saturday. And one of my main and favorite articles to read and site on this blog was Keith Olbermann's post on his MLBlog, The Baseball Nerd. Well, Dan Steinberg of The Sporting Blog responded and guess what folks, we have an epic flame war of hilarity!

If you've been around the block at all for the past few days, I am sure you have seen this post by now, but if not, here is the link to my post quoting Olbermann's blog on his indignation and outrage over Man-Ram. Just for the sake of space and redundancy, I won't bring up the block quote for a 3rd time (besides, most of what he says shows up in Steinberg's blockquote. Apparently Dan Steinberg read and got a hold of it and if you've ever watched Countdown with Keith Olbermann, after reading this quote, you'll understand what I mean when I say he Keith Olbermann'd Keith Olbermann. Here's Steinberg's response via his post on The Sporting Blog.

And so I ask, please, someone, anyone, give us a little outrage. What's that, Keith Olbermann? You have something to say?

"Let's take you out to San Diego where Manny Ramirez is just back from a 50-game suspension. For cheating. For cutting corners. For breaking rules. For lying. For deception. For letting down his teammates. For contributing to suspicions against every honest player. For raising a giant middle finger to sportsmanship. For abusing the fans. For risking that for which Lou Gehrig would've given anything -- his own health."

For sneaking boogers into ballpark pizza cheese. For publicly admitting he likes Tiramisu better than Apple Pie. For feeding rat poison to toddlers. For ruining America.

"Ramirez, of course, homered today in his first at bat. And some people cheered. As if he were just back from an injury, or a death in the family. As if he were a hero. As if he were an honest man. As if he were somehow worthy of sharing the meaningfulness of this day with Lou Gehrig."

As if he were worthy of being alive, Keith; of sharing the status of "human being" with Lou Gehrig. Manny Ramirez should have declined all offers of oxygen, on this day, and on every other day that is an anniversary of a day on which Lou Gehrig was alive.

"This is Lou Gehrig's day. The rest of the juicers may come back and play tomorrow and there will not be boycotts. The Dodgers will probably go to the World Series, carried in part by a great flaming fraud like Ramirez. And judging by the brainless response of fans who would cheer anybody if they hit the ball 425 feet for their team, and boo anybody if they hit the ball 425 feet for their opponents, there will not even be significant repercussions."

For shame, for shame, baseball fans. You should all be standing in line to forfeit your mindless baseball entertainment, on account of there having been rule-breaking in that industry, which is devoted primarily to occupying the minds of 30-something lawyers with expense accounts, middle-aged journalists and college kids making fictional "trades" at 3 in the morning while eating week-old pizza slices they found in their closets. Why, oh why, don't you brainless masses boycott this farce in favor of a more wholesome, ethical and Gehrig-approved entertainment option? Like, go check out MSNBC's "Oddball" video page. Current options include "Pig Parade Held in Philippines," "Monkey Pee Monkey Do," and "Woman Puts Squirrel in Tank Top." I know for a fact that Gehrig could not get enough of the squirrel inside the tank top bit. In fact, he used to regularly stuff ferrets into his underwear.

"Manny Ramirez and Alex Rodriguez and the others of the PED era did not belong in baseball today, and that they did not show the requisite awareness of their own shame, only makes it worse. Lord, send us a 'roider who has the presence of mind to say: "On this day I do my penance; I don't yet belong on the field even with just the memory of this man, I hope you'll forgive me and I can again earn your trust."

Because, you know, the world would never have a cross word to say about a 'roider who completely upstaged Lou Gehrig Day with a self-centered stunt involving a self-righteous self-benching. No, that'd be just swell.

Anyhow, I would argue further: that no one not named Gehrig should ever again be allowed to play baseball, even Strat-O-Matic. And that Manny Ramirez should be tasered every night for a year. And that the fans who have cheered for him should be tasered, too. And that Manny Ramirez is, pretty much, the Worst Person in the World. And that anyone who so much as cashes one check paid for with dirty baseball money from immoral cheering fans should be banished from civilized society.

Wait, Keith, why is there an MLB logo on your blog? Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
I agree with what Keith Olbermann says on the matter, and yet, this criticism from Steinberg is cleverly written and brillantly hilarious. He uses pretty much every tool in the book that Keith Olbermann utilizes in his Special Comments and uses them against him in a sarcastic way that is pure hilarity!

But wait! This flame war gets even better! KEITH OLBERMANN ACTUALLY RESPONDED!!!! Via Keith Olbermann's MLBlog, The Baseball Nerd.

I hadn't heard previously of Dan Steinberg and his blogs at The Washington Post and The Sporting News, but he goes a long way to defend Manny Ramirez and skewer me for what I wrote here Saturday (I think that's what he's doing - it's not exactly clear; it seems to be snark, a medium in which I've worked for 35 years, and whatever it is, I think he's doing it wrong). I criticized the juxtaposition of Fox's celebration of Ramirez's return and the MLB-wide official tributes to Lou Gehrig on the 70th Anniversary of his "day" at Yankee Stadium in 1939.

"As if he were worth of being alive, Keith; of sharing the status of "human being" with Lou Gehrig. Manny Ramirez should have declined all offers of oxygen, on this day, and on every other day that is an anniversary of a day on which Lou Gehrig was alive."

I confess to being mightily impressed at the head of steam he builds up on the long trek he makes towards his great climactic accusation of hypocrisy on my part.

"For shame, for shame, baseball fans. You should all be standing in line to forfeit your mindless baseball entertainment, on account of there having been rule-breaking in that industry, which is devoted primarily to occupying the minds of 30-something lawyers with expense accounts, middle-aged journalists and college kids making fictional "trades" at 3 in the morning while eating week-old pizza slices they found in their closets. Why, oh why, don't you brainless masses boycott this farce in favor of a more wholesome, ethical and Gehrig-approved entertainment option?"

I also confess to becoming afraid for him as he accelerates, the way we all used to become afraid for the Coyote in the Roadrunner cartoons, since we could see the edge of the mesa coming and he couldn't.

"I would argue further: that no one not named Gehrig should ever again be allowed to play baseball, even Strat-O-Matic. And that Manny Ramirez should be tasered every night for a year. And that the fans who have cheered for him should be tasered, too. And that Manny Ramirez is, pretty much, the Worst Person in the World. And that anyone who so much as cashes one check paid for with dirty baseball money from immoral cheering fans should be banished from civilized society.

Wait, Keith, why is there an MLB logo on your blog?


Umm... as anybody who reads the MLBlogs knows, baseball has no say over what is written here, by me, or anybody else. And, yes, this particular blog, MLB pays for. Only I don't get checks to cash. The money gets split three ways: to St. Jude's Hospital, to the Baseball Assistance Team, and to the education fund for the grandchildren of the former big leaguer and MLB.TV host John Marzano.

That was a long way to run to wind up going off a cliff like that. At least Mr. Steinberg was good enough to provide his own sound effect at the end.
But wait! There's even more to this hilarity! If you click on the above link and look closely, Steinberg actually responded to Olbermann in the comments section!

Well, the final line was added after I had already finished, and I guess I'll agree that it gives the wrong impression. Although I didn't really think you got paid for doing this. The point was more that you are associated with the official apparatus of MLB, which has clearly been pretty well filled with cheaters of various degrees for a long, long time. Seems to me either you give up on an entire generation of baseball fans, or you just accept the fact that cheaters were everywhere and you move on with your life. When so many were cheating, to me, it's a systemic problem and not a sign of individual moral failing.

As for the rest of the slop quoted above, apologies for not just writing what I thought. Here's what I think: there are so very many problems in the world that deserve outrage, many of which you highlight on TV. Manny Ramirez sullying the image of a man who's been dead for decades by trying to hit a ball with a piece of wood on a day his employer told him he was eligible just doesn't strike me as one of them.

And if you want to say that being outraged about Manny is also a topic unworthy of outrage, I will concede the point.

As for never having heard of me, I was the fella who turned up Miles Rawls, the Wizards fan who taunted Prez Obama this spring. You quoted from my piece extensively, on the air! And I thought that made us bff!
If you're not laughing right now at either what Steinberg and/or Olbermann said or just at the fact that 2 grown men (one of them being a multi-million dollar TV star) are having an online flame war about something like this, then there's gotta be something wrong with you because this is great! Good times.....gooooooooooood times.

For a great discussion on this, listen to today's episode of On The DL.

This Is NOT a Typo...

Cincinnati (0) 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 5 1
PHILLIES (10) 1 1 4 0 0 0 6 x 22 21 0

And I thought the fireworks were scheduled for this Thursday after the game. But seriously folks, the Philllies completely steamrolled all over the Reds last night (7/6) by that score. In their last two games, the Redlegs have been outscored 32-4! Things were so bad, in the bottom of the eighth, they rolled out the Jayson Stark Memorial Mystery Pitcher of the Week, reserve infielder Tim Janish, who had previously surrendered five runs this season in a mop-up role. he gave up six, including a Jayson Werth Grand Salami. It also managed to bring up a Jayson Stark Memorial Box Score Line of the Week for starter Johnny Cuerto:

2/3 IP, 5 H, 9 R, 9 ER, 3 BB, 1 K, 2 HR, 1 HBP, 49 pitches, post-game ERA 3.45 (he had a 2.69 ERA coming into the game).

As for Janish (shown above):

1 IP, 4 H, 6 R, 6 ER, 2 BB, 1 K, 1 Grand Slam HR, 29 pitches, post-game ERA 49.50 (his ERA was 45.00 coming into the night).

For the full details on this carnage (if you're a Reds fan), I refer you to Fire Andy Reid Now! for more. BTW, guys, save a few runs for tonight (7/7), JFein will fill in for me as I will be at the game.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 7/6/09

The Tie: Brown, gold and tan stripes.

Number 5: What awaits Miss Wasilla 1984? She's quit as governor of Alaska, so you won't have Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister to kick around anymore (in Anchorage) especially on July 3rd (Friday), for The Quitta from Wasilla. Even threw basketball anaologies at us. The writer of that Vanity Fair article, Todd Purdum, joins us to answer all those important questions.

Number 4: Shannyn Moore (not the fake fighter who was the Original MFer), who reported the Wasilla house that TFETS had built by the same construction firm that built a sports complex in her hometown, and is being threatened with a lawsuit stopping investigations into that house, is getting Keith's Sixth Degree,

Oddball: Richard Lewis' wife celebrated a birthday on the Fourth. In Finland, the annual wife carrying contest was held. The Sanfords pulled out after a last minute problem. Stockton, California's tree found the image of Michael Jackson. Whoo hoo hoo.

Best Persons: 3 - Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA) slipped an extra Fed cash for planes where he owns stock in the makers. 2 - Azaz Gul Saqib returns the pig he had to the zoo. 1 - Rep. Peter King (R-NY) bitched about Michael Jackson's coverage and dubbed him a child molester.

Musical Segue: "Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone."

Number 3: In other news, Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) is still running the state and Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) will be sworn in tomorrow (7/7). In Texas, the Tea Party Part II was a failure. Sen. Jon Kornen and Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) were booed at Southfork Ranch (where J.R. Ewing was shot) and in Tennessee, poor attendance was blamed for that rally on bad directions. "Genius, I tells ya, GENIUS!" Richard Wolffe, your thoughts?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) says there's no Stimulai money for roads in Ohio. Ah, but $89.3 million is being spent.
Silver - Comedian Boss Limbaugh wants to bring in Honduras-based terrorists to overthrow our government. That would be treason. Homeland Security, HELLO!
Gold - DuVal Country (FL) Tea party guests - paid for by the Good Oldboysandgirls Party council - had Obama-as-Adolph pictures and ACORN equal to the SS in Germany.

Number 1: We recall Tina Fey impersonating her Evil Twin Sister and other moments from the 2008 Saturday Night Live Presidential Bash.

I'll be here Wednesday (7/8) for the twinbill. JFein will fill in tomorrow night (7/7). I'll be at the Phillies-Reds game, but for now, off to watch WWE RAW!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Seventy Years Ago Today...

Lou Gehrig said these words:

"Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans. Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn't consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day?

"Sure I'm lucky. Who wouldn't consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert? Also, the builder of baseball's greatest empire, Ed Barrow? To have spent six years with that wonderful little fellow, Miller Huggins? Then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy?

"Sure I'm lucky. When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift -- that's something. When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies -- that's something. When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter -- that's something. When you have a father and a mother who work all their lives so you can have an education and build your body -- it's a blessing. When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed -- that's the finest I know.

"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."

These words will be said today during the seventh inning stretch at all Major League Baseball games to call to the attention of ALS, the disease that claimed Baseball's first "Iron Man". In addition, all uniformed personel (players, coaches, managers and umpires, beside theit red hats for Welcome Back Veterans) will wear the patch shown on the left for this day.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Enjoy the Fourth of July

Please have a safe and sane Fourth of July, and remember the words of Bob Barker, "Have your fireworks spayed or neutered."

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

ISaJGS Season 2 Ep 3 Live Blog 7/1/09

Last week, another Red Robot was sent packing, so a it looks like a Green Tiger might move there tonight. Keith was off tonight as Shuster was pinch hitting.