Friday, February 27, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/27/09

The Tie: Purple with navy dots.

Number 5: Adolph XLIII started the war in 2002, and now President Obama will end the war on August 31, 2010. It may be the begining of the end cutting from over 132,000 sldiers in Iraq to about 35,000 to 50,000, and then full withdrawl by the end of 2011. This time, unlike the stimulai, the Good Oldboysandgirls Party are praising Obama, and the Democrats are against. Richard Wolffe, what say you?

And now we welcome Thomas E. Ricks, author of The Gamble who has his points about Obama's comments at Fort Bragg, NC.

Number 4: CPAC(kitin) Day 2: And boy, the far right GOP nutcases are out. Michael Steele says it was an error, and look who's cheering for his idea of bringing the hip hop generation: Nutty far right winger Rep. Michelle Bachman (R-MN), and even parroting Comedian Rush Limbaugh's points that Obama fails, Rep. Tom Delay (R-TX). Matt Cooper of to review the day's event sans Coultergeist. Did we mention Comedian will appear there tomorrow (2/28)? More in the Number One story!

Oddball: In 1860, Abe Lincoln delivered a speech in New York City. And speak of mudslinging in Japan honoring the Gods of rice by doing so. In Clifton Forge, VA, Sheldon Washington and Jojo the python travel around. In Northern Italy, a whole new spin on cool jazz with ice musical instruments.

Best Persons: 3 - When it comes to recessions, Rep. Jed Hansarling (R-TX) is a idiot. 2 - Joseph Takesgun was arrested for DUI and other things. Wrong address. Of the garage of the cop who followed him. 1 - Flo the Optopus' tank was opened and flooded the office at the Santa Monica Pier Aquarium.
Flo did it.

Musical Segue: Octopus' Garden (Not the Ringo Starr version, sadly.)

Number 3: Joe The Not-Really-A-Plumber said if he was in Congress, he'd slap them silly...or use a gun. Meanwhile, Sen Jim Dement (R-SC) is really far right, while the former mayor of a California town as of Monday (3/2) sent a truly racist e-mail of a graphic showing a watermelon patch in front of The White House. Eugene Robinson continues the CPAC(kitin) coverage. Sweet cream on an ice cream sammich, what in the bluest of blue hells is going on with these nutcases? Remember two years ago when Coultergeist spoke here about John Edwards' life?

Still Bushed!: 3 - The NBA is now being bailed JPMorgan and Bank of America. And your government will own 40% of the name of Shitty Field. (I'm a Phillies fan, so I can make fun of that!) 2 - More Jindal fun, about the so-called rescue in Jefferson Parrish, now in a week afterwards. That's falling apart. 1 - The GAO's new internal report got new contracts after being banned for many different reasons.
Blamed on the search engine's dreaded glitch.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Billo The Clown again lies about Nielsen's ratings. It's a running joke.
Silver - Glenn Beck once again attacks the carbon credits again.
Gold - Gotta go to the john? Ryan Air in Ireland says you gotta pay potty. Michael O'Leary runs the place. I hope Mario Rosenstock lays into him this week on Ian Dempsey's show next week on Today FM in the Eire.

Number 1: And now back to CPAC(kitin) already in progress... and more in line with looney tune Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN) and GOP boss Michael Steele saying that he'll go into the hip-hop nation to recruit new members to drink their Flavor Flav Aid and Bachman tells Steele "you be the man". She also wants to recreate the Boston Tea Party as well. *palmslap* And Limbaugh will get the "Defender of the Constitution" Award as mentioned in Number 4. Oh, Paul F. Tompkins, explain this as crazy as it is.

Have a nice weekend. If Keith goes down to Tampa to watch spring training with the Yankees, don't forget to set your clocks ahead next Saturday (3/7) before going to bed. Otherwise, see you on monday.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/26/09

The Tie: Blue diamonds.

Number 5: CPAC 2009 is underway in Washington and there's no Jindak and Tina Fey Evil Twin Sister. And poor taste reigns in Obama Waffles Cereal, a joke about Chicago, and Joe The Plumber is worried about 2012, but he best be worried about his book selling less than a dozen copies of his book, and he's thinking about running. Howard Fineman is here to recap his day. It's time for them to CPAC it in.

And Minnesota is looking into a "runoff" between the man of the decade, he - Al Franken - and Norm Coleman again...and Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) wants Coleman to give up the ghost now. Chris Hayes of
The Nation examines it all for you.

Number 4: President Obama outlined the 2010 Fiscal Year Budget and the Good Oldboysandgirls Party are pissed. All Americans getting tax raises? Only five percent. Left off the books are the real costs of the mistake in Iraq and closing loopholes and then some. Robert RRRRRRRRRRReich is here to examine the whole thing.

Oddball: Once again, my computer delivers the virtual finger. Godfrey Cambridge was born in 1933. A ourangatan is whistling at The National Zoo. Always Look at The Bright Side of Life. And a shoplifter loses his shirt and then some.

Best Persons: 3 - Apology accepted from 2 - Really good thespians stage a fight scene from Romeo and Juliet at a shopping center in England. 1 - Flat Stanley was on Flight 1659.

Musical Segue: "My Hero" by Foo Fighters.

Number 3: What makes Comedian Rush Limbaugh unappealing to women? He held a "summit" for the "feminazis, hotties" and other types of women on his show. Janeane Garofolo is here to tell all, even as Gov. Mark Stanford (R-SC) calls the de facto GOP leader an "idiot" for hoping Obama fails.

Still Bushed!: 3 - The Wild West is running amok at the FEMA New Orleans office. 2 - Now, you can have your coverage at Dover AFB if you want to if your son/daughter/husband/wife comes home in a pine box. 1 - Remember the anthrax scare? Turns out that there was other stuff inside.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Billo and Dennis Miller share this one for Prop 8.
Silver - Colorado State Senator wishes someone had AIDS.
Gold - Inanaity's forum has a poll for a revolution. They tried that from 1861 to 1865...and the South lost.

See you tomorrow...and sorry for the problems.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/25/09

The Tie: Lavender.

Number 5:
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA) you just delivered a great response to the Obama "State of the Union" except for that made up story about Katrina and the same old GOP lies and slander. What are you going to do now? He's going to Disney World! He was in Baton Rouge not in Jefferson Parrish when Hurricane Katrina hit, and the sherriff he spoke to passed on in 2007. And he was attacked by the far right excluding Comedian Rush Limbaugh, de facto Good Oldboysandgirls Party leader. Meanwhile, Richard Wolffe mocks that speech and Jindal gets a new nickname from Tina Fey Fans: Kenneth The Page.

An active volcano was not wasteful spending because a GPS system isn't there because there's no money, and the GOP song and dance is just the same old shiznit. Nobel Honoree Paul Krugman says it's time for the Republicans to take a new tack on the economy after the trainwreck.

Number 4:
Citi and Morgan Stanley have again will have to answer to you and me after President Obama announced stricter accountability and those violating it will have some 'splainin to do. All twenty financial groups told the Feds "go climb a rope/fly a kite/play in traffic." With retention awards (read: bonus) except for Wells Fargo. Newsweek's Daniel Gross says they're treading on water.

Besides being the birthday of the blog owner, Bob Scheiffer was born in 1937. In India, one guy has a long, long, long beard. Someone call Keith Hernandez and Clyde Frazier. And under the sea, scientists found a fish with a migrane headache.

Best Persons: 3 - A car thief down under locked himself in. 2 - Three kids in Michigan go to Alabama with stolen money not printed since WWII, namely an antique $1,000 bill. 1 - The inner homing of crocodiles are to be screwed up with fricking magnets!

Musical Segue:
Quincy Jones' "Soul Bossa Nova" from Austin Powers. YEAH BABY, YEAH!!!

Number 3:
While the Obama speech was on, but something was among the GOP was Twittering as many of them where Newt Gingrich to attack all Democrats. Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) Twittered that a staffer opted to watch ESPN2 for the Texas A&M-Nebraska game. Craig Crawford believes that they should use the Pony Express out there. And Keith can't Twitter.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Sen. Pat Leahy (D-VT) schedules a Truth Commission planning hearing for next week. And Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi doesn't like it. 2 - Turdblossom was somewhere else Monday. Schaumburg, Illinois. 1 - A 12th Hour Adolph XLIII nursing home federal employee plan was leaked by Bloomberg.
Thirty six days after leaving.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Michael Calderon blamed Keith for "Oh, God." It was Tweety, and he fessed up to it.
Silver -
Billo got the UAW salaries lie from the GOP Stalking Points in The Murdoch Street Journal a little late. By about six months.
Gold - And Inanity was told by Rep. Joe Stestak (D-PA) to name one thing in the stimulai, and invokes the Vegas-to-Disneyland train flat out lie as well as Bill Clinton not having sex with Monica Lewinsky.

Number 1:
Remember when Obama told everyone that the First Daughters were getting a puppy back in November at Chicago's Grant Park? We're getting closer to a final decision. And it looks like it will be a Portugese Water Dog according to People, possibly from Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA). Margaret Carlson will now tell us why.

Bow wow wow yippie wow yow yay! See you tomorrow, all you atomic dogs.

Forty-Eight Years Ago Today...

James Russell Craven was born into the world in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Other than being a fan of the sports franchises of The City of Siblingly Love, he runs a live blog based on the work of some guy named Keith Olbermann on a nightly basis. This also marks the 100th post for that blog called The O Files.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Your Double-Barreled Obama Pre-and-Post Game - Whoops, Speech - Countdown Live Blog For 2/24/09

So here's the dealio. I'll be doing two blogs on one night on one page. We'll start with the 8 PM EST edition as the "pre-game show" and follow that with a "post-game" after ther Republican response.

The Tie: Brown with gray and black stripes.

Number 5: Tonight President Obama speaks to Congress, but before hand, news of extending the pullout of the military from Iraq by three months leaving about 50,000 to train the Iraqi Army until 2011. Richard Wolffe sees if this is a trial balloon, and at a savings of $2 trillion from our defecit. And no, Iraq is not going to be a major talking point in this speech.

Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA) wanted to give back some stimulai, but that according to Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) you can't pick and choose. Jindal's supposed to deluiver the GOP rebuttal to President Obama's talk with Congress. Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), House Banking Committee chairman sent a letter asking that those such as AIG anmd Northern Trust from spending outlandish things as concerts at a Northern Trust-sponsored golf tourney won by Phil Michelson, and Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) will introduce legislation to stop such shenanigans, blarney and mularkey. Frank joins us to do their 'splainin.

Number 4: The Aussie Cap'n Long John Silver, Pirate K. Rupert Murdoch wrote a formal apology about the cartoon in The New York Post of the monkey murder that was supposed to poke fun at the "poorly-worded [stimulai package]" and turned out to be racist. And I met with my editors arounf the mizzenmast, arrrrr...and if they disobey me again, they'll be walkin' the plank! Was this - as Denise Richardson and Johnny Mathis pointed out - "too much, too little, too late to ever try again"? Only Rev. Al Sharpton knows and he joins us.

Worst Person in the World, moved up because a cast of thousands - Rachael Maddow, Tweety, Eugene Robinson, Richard Wolffe, Howard Fineman and others - will preview this speech edition:
Bronze - Selena Roberts or A-R*d because of the 'roid use and PEDs. Well, who's going to be worse when the book comes out...
Silver - G. Gordon Liddy thinks Friday's third place winner from CNBC's Rich Santelli agrees on the tin-foil topped rant on mortages. Like we said, Santelli's better off on Fixed Going-Out-Of-Business Network.
Gold - Michael Steele, Good Oldboysandgirls Party chairman needs to appeal to do a better job 23 days ago, and work on civil unions calling someone crazy... Like Mr. Gallagher. Or Mr. Sheen.

Numbers 3, 2 and 1 (Merged because this is a major speech): The State of the Union in everything but name is less than a half an hour away as our leader is in transit from The White House to Capital Hill. Let's start with Howard Fineman, who tells us the options on the pullout and was it a leak from The Pentagon? Guess not. And yes, the president will be like W. Wilson Goode when he was the mayor of Philadelphia showing up a ribbon cuttings when he wasn't drpping entry devices. That's an old Joey Reynolds WFIL joke circa 1985. Rachael Maddow is now in the on-deck circle ready to swing away.

Let's talk about the Number 5 story again, as it will be announced tomorrow. Rachael talks about it, but this a speech about the economy, stupid! They'll minimize this as much as possible. And yes, the GOP are a bunch of lemmings on Adolph XLIII's withdrawl plans. Chris Matthews (HA!) awaits. And there is one of Philadelphia's Finest in attendance tonight as a guest of Vice President Biden.

The GOP may want to redefine how bipartisan policies in the Obama Administration, and on Question #44 of a CBS News/New York Times survey was that two-thirds of the people surveyed that it's all political with them, and Gov. Jindal is now the pointman for them. Right, Chris? It truly is "Party First" with the Good Oldboysandgirls Party.

See you after the Jindal reply which follows President Obama's speech.

And so, President Obama's first speech to the joint session of Congress is now one for the ages. The realtime response of those with devices among voters of both President Obama and Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) a year ago were extremely high when the President's speech but in Bobby Jindal's Republican response his weakest link was twice invoking Katrina as a model of how to run government, their response was lower than a Michael Weinersavage Nazi comment or a Glenn Beck communist reply. In six of those eight years when Adolph Bush XLIII was in his dictatorship, the Grand Oldboysandgirls Party ran Congress. Though not a State of the Union, it felt like it, and the reckless behavior, Wall Street and new energy, healthcare and education. On banks, they will have to lend more money to those who need it, the defecit was inherited (loudly responded with a partisan standing ovation), it must come down. One sentence on the timetable for Iraq within this week. White House Press Secratary Robert Gibbs joins Keith with a response to the Jindal response, linking corruption to the stimulai, and the so-called high speed rail from Disneyland to Vegas was brought up. Actaully, that money is for all transportation services.

Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) joins us and uses every sports analogy except "power play goal". She also heads to the usual sporting cliches of suiting up and possibly even putting his pants one leg at a time. Obviously, the GOP response was pre-written by someone before the President's address was written, and hell, even McCain rose on most everything based on Iraq.

Howard Fineman examines the headlines of tomorrow's newspapers. Economy was mentioned 31 times as a matter of fact, and that will be likely the top line, among 61 interruptions - partisan or otherwise - for this speech. He was impressed when President Obama used straight forward language without the fancy schmantzy backtalk, and delivered optimism before Jindal's buzzkilling speech. Praise FDR but Jindal has lost the front-runner position for 2012 in my opinion. The GOP is now taking their medicine and in large doses because of that.

Howard Dean (Yarrrrrh!) makes his points on the subject of the evening. Why did he like the speech? Well, the 44th President of the United States had the Congress and America eating out of the palm of his hand, especially the 99.7% of the people who live outside Washington, DC.

Michael Beschloss, the historian in resdence for NBC News, lays down his view on the speech. And it was at point my computer decided to misbehave yet again... in short, FDR, Reagan and even We Would Like To Thank You Once Again, Herbert Hoover and Alf Langdon were mentioned.

That's all for this historic evening. Join me tomorrow for what will be two big moments for this blog and myself. The 100th post for this blog, and my 48th birthday.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/23/09

The Tie: Navy and silver stripes.

Apologies for an early outage from a failing browser.

Number 5: Once again, the birth certificate was brought up again by a member of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party, this time Sen. Charlie Sessoms (R-AL). And again, those republican Governors in Louisiana and South Carolina will reject monies from the stim, meaning the resident of their states will have long memories come their next election, and now the Governator and Gov. Jennifer Grandholm (D-MI) say they may ask for that rejected monies. So Richard Wolffe, can you figure out the puzzle?

And at Capital Hill, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schwartz (D-FL) says that it's a case of those who fail history doomed to repeat it within the GOP. They know nuttink, they zee nuttink and they do nuttink.

Number 4:
So Arrianna Huffington's here to explain what the difference is between the Adolph XLIII administration dictatorship and Obama's kinder, gentler (to a point) administration, but somehow, there's a difference between the two.

Oddball: In 1898 Emile Zola had a letter printed and was cleared of everything. Tour of California running in sumo suits, Borat in a mankini thong (yeeech!) and a guy with a deer antler helmet. A ten point schmuck. Atta boy, Keith! Meanwhile, iIn St. Moritz, Switzerland, it's thoroughbreds on ice.

Best Persons: 3 - Brianna Bonds came up with a new hairstyle with a migrane from her hairpiece. 2 - Buffalo counter demostrators annual protests of gay people who died in last week's plane crash drowning them out. 1 - Will Smith said the old Brian Collins interweb neme "Boom goes the dynamite". He's now a reporter in Waco, Texas.

Musical Segue:
Boom boom bottle boom?

Number 3:
And for that New York Post cartoon comparing the killed monkey to President Obama, Julian Bond, chairman of the NAACP joins us calling it an invitation to an asassination, and firing back. Tomorrow (2/24), Rev. Al Sharpton will protest at New York's City Hall and has started an online petition to revoke NewsCorpse's exemption to own multiple TV stations and newspapers in New York City (and to an extent, Boston).

Still Bushed!:
3 - What didn't happen at the House Judiciary Committee about Turdblossom's testimony. 2 - Ari Fleischer still lies about WMDs. 1 - Adolph's nephew, George P. Bush angers Gov. Charlie Crist (R-FL) about accepting stimulai cash. Bushed: The Next Generation?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Fred Barnes on Bristol Fey Evil doppelganger saying abstance is realistic. Nice work, sparky.
Silver - Chris Wallace said that Eric Holder was in by the skin of his teeth. That would be a landslide.
Gold - Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) wants to charge more to small businesses in taxes. But it's 2% of them...

Number 1:
I didn't bother to watch the Oscars last night because I was busy doing something else more relevant. What I missed was an upset by Sean Penn for his performance in Milk over heavily favored Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler (Chris Irvine Jericho, your thoughts?) and in his acceptance speech sending a message for those who voted against Prop 8, and Philippe Petit (he of walking a tightrope on the twin towers of the World Trade Center) balancing Oscar on his chin. Devin Gordon from Newsweek is here to look at it.

Join us tomorrow for everything but the kitchen sink with pre-speech and post-speech double live blogging!

Some Help Wanted...

There's going to be times when I won't be around to do this live blog stuff. So, I'm posting a HELP WANTED notice here for anyone who would like to fill in on an occasional basis to do the live blogs when I'm not available for periods of time. And experience is not really necessary, just fill in when I ask you to do so. Contact me at and please include any experience you have. Equal opportunity pretender, member FDIC.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Countdown Live Blog 2/20/09

The Tie: Dark gray with multicolored dots.

Number 5: And ye be keeping a civil tongue on The New York Post editors, arrrrr. The non apology apology failed to work while far right wing nut Alan Keyes blasts President Obama. He was beaten for Obama's Illinois U. S. Senate seat in 2004 (along with being one of 800 ex-MSNBC hosts) claims Obama's a commie, which any other day is Worst Person in the World material. And he parrotted those same right wing nut jobs on the residential claims of Obama not being a born citizen. What part of Honolulu, Hawai'i do you not get, sir? So Jonathon Alter, what say you on a man who can't find his ass or his elbow with a braille atlas. And a GPS system?

Back to Pirate Rupert and Michael Wolff raising Keyes' name in particular. My head hurts from all this. So do the 30 advertisers who are threatening to boycott.

Number 4: President Obama told 70 mayors (including Philadelphia's Michael Nutter) to play nice with the stimulai or ese he'll call them out, and he plans to tell governors the same thing Monday (2/23). Especially those Good Oldboysandgirls party members (and Rep Heath Shuler) who will refuse matching money for things as unemployment.  In addition, there will be a new Department of Urban Affairs as well.  And Richard Wolffe is here to explain it loud and clear.

In 1914, John Charles Daly was born. Nine down, one to go, Bennett Cerf? The kickass robot of the week in a game of roshambeau. On Fixed Noise, Insanity's got a advent puzzle of Obama. Thirty pieces are gone, there's 70 left. (HINT: It's Billary!)

Best Persons: 3 - Worcester's Buttonquail was found, but in a market ready to eat. 2 - Walter Hoover went from cable to over the air to digital in his town Tuesday. And he got out his Elvis remote. 1 - After a night of drinking, is that a crochet needle where your love machine is or are you just plain happy to see me?

Musical Segue: Love Hurts by Nazereth.

Number 3:
A-R*d is falling apart, and had a trainer linked to roids. Drugs that was available in the Dominican Republic not by perscription and others, used the stuff not past 2003, but four years after and Yuri Sucart, his cousin traveled with a banned trainer. Meanmwhile, Richard Justice weighs the evidence. Like I said earlier this week, the man's a fecking schmuck.

Still Bushed!: 3 - The long term stuff of deregulation where people going to food banks increased 30%. 2 - Darrell Isa (R-CA) wanted to look into e-mail records. 1 - Denial anyone? When asked about letters, Mr. Pearl said "I don't know if he ever read the letters". And Neo-Con foreign policy? Really.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - CNBC's Rick Santelli attacked the stimulai from the Chicago Board of Trade and asked how many traders wanted to pay for loser mortages. He should be better of at Fixed Going out of Business Network.
Silver - Comedian Rush Limbaugh misquotes Obama. Timerange and numbers wrong.
Gold - A double for Comedian and rephrases a column for The Murdoch Street Journal as a letter of intent. Like Fixed Noise, unfair and unbalanced.

Number 1: Yes, the recession has hit everyone. Including beer makers, whose sales are down nine percent. No, I'm not making that number up. Not since prohibition has this been this bad. has proof. Also gambling and lingere are down and Girl Scout Cookie sales are crumbling, but movie ticket sales are up. Christian Finegan joins us to explain this.

Have a nice weekend with whatever you're having.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/19/09

The Tie: Yankees navy blue and silver stripes.

Number 5: Cleaning up America's image in America, from the Adolph XLIII administration as President Obama visited Canada and the idea of prosecuting Turdblossom (who wants executive privledge), Harriet Myers and others. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) says there may be more of these coming, including Sen. Pat Leahy's (D-VT) Truth Commission, with Fredo volunteering to make it unpolitical, like A-R*d saying "I took my medicine". Twice. Right, Howard Fineman?

Meanwhile, Prof. Jonathon Turley is here again to go deeper into Turdblossom's try at an end run.

Number 4: Lemme see if I get this straight... Miss Wasalia 1984 and several other Grand Oldboyandgirl Party governors are going to send back their state's stimulai package monies as the Republicans continue their wrong ways of looking out for Decision 2012 instead of their state's residents needs, but state legislatures could override their plans. That's crazy. They must take the money whether they like it or don't like, and have to learn to live with the fact that this stim is the best thing going. Whoooooooooooooooooo! And look who's here, none other than Howard Dean! (Sorry, that's the best I could find on YouTube.)

Oddball: in 1859, Rep. Dan Sickles (NY) was cleared of murder by reason of insanity. As Mario Rosenstock's impersonation of CSI: Miami's Horatio Caine would ask "Who's going to take the horse to France? Well if we knew that, then we'd know who put the butter on the spuds!" In Paris, this horse was chasing down the Champs Elyesse.

Best Persons: 3 - Missing bowling balls were found. Not stolen, but hidden. 2 - Glenn Beck lies again on the $70/hr auto worker job doubled. 1 -
Rick Santorum was at Nebraska and misrepresents the Koran and Islam.

Musical Segue: Dale Bozzio and Missing Persons' "Words". Wow, MTV 1980's video!

Number 3: Outrage of The New York Post as an editor protested along with others - including Al Sharpton today and Spike Lee tomorrow (2/20) - on Monday's cartoon, and now they're threatening to revoke their rights to own a newspaper and two TV stations in New York. And newspaper founder Alexander Hamilton is spinning in his grave again, looking for Captain Hook from Down Under's $30/barrel oil reserves. Michael Wolff, writer of that Rupert Murdoch tell-all book tells all on this.
UPDATE: Now they're apologizing for the cartoon on their website, and in print tomorrow (2/20).

Still Bushed!: 3 - Fixed Noise did get memos for the Stalking, er, Talking Points from the White House and the stimulai package. 2 - More Justice Department shenanigans with more people who were in cahoots with Adolph XLIII. 1 - The legal team that represents Blackwater mercinaries wanted charges thrown out. No. Way. Jose.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister charged $60/day for per diem. Photos, phone calls, Fixed noise...
Silver - De facto GOP leader and Comedian Rush Limbaugh agrees with Obama on restoring the Fairness Doctorine...then calls the President a liar upon seeing The Murdoch Street Journal column he wrote about it. Weinersavge, Inanity and Limbaugh are leaping with joy. And speaking of Inanity...
Gold - Look who was connected to Alan Stanford's scams as a spokesperson! And it even comes complete with spectacular commercial audio goodness.

Number 1: Well, so much for the story on the trial of the show thrower at Adolph XLIII. Eugene Robinson joins us to look into the apology by "one of New York's finest newspapers" on the story mentioned at Number 3 tonight.

Maybe they'll talk about that show thrower tomorrow night, so joins us then!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/18/09

The Tie: Brown, black and cream stripes.

Number 5: President Obama has $75 billion available for you if you're one of nine million homeowners. Many in prompt trouble with loan sharks, the rest with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac with underwater mortages, but not one for those for dishonest lenders. And House Minority Whip Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), Mister My-Wife-Got-Some-Of-Adolph's-Cash-In-The-First-Bailout-For-Her-Bank, is already against it, especially when the Good Oldboys Party tried to fix this. Richard Wolffe, please try to explain the fact that the Republicans are stuck in the 1990s 1870s.

And joining us is HUD Secretary Sean Donovan to explain it all for you.

Number 4: The Ausse Captain Hook, Pirate Rupert Murdoch (arrrrr!) had his favorite newspaper, The New York Post print a cartoon on Page Six today of the shooting of a chimpanzee shot in Connecticut citing by one cop saying to the other "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill." They said it was directed to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and is not. Rev. Al Sharpton is in studio tonight to talk about this. Framkly, if I owned "one of New York's Finest newspapers" as Mr. Letterman said back in the 1980's with the imfamous headline "HEADLESS MAN IN TOPLESS BAR" then I'd say you have some 'splainin to do.

Oddball: In 1895, Win One For the Gipper himself was born. President Obama recieved one of Shaquille O'Neal's size 23 sneakers. And in Athens, ten semi-naked artists made body paint of Pope Benedict XLIII and President Obama.

Best Persons: 3 - Robert Pittman stole smokes, dropped trou and got arrested. 2 - Strausburg, France had a malfuncion with France Telecom run alarms singannling that the world was ending. 1 - Johnny Damon said there was worse things A-R*d could have murder.

Musical Segue: It coulda been worse.

Number 3: Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) should replace the Common Loon as the state bird of the Land of Ten Thousnad Lakes. Then again, she is the most common loon from the far right whacko nut job section of the Republican party. She parrotted ACORN, Betsy McCaughly's health care, Census hijacking and redistricting Congressional Districts. On KTLK Radio's Chris Baker Show, she said that and just nuttier than my Christmas fruitcake. And Chris Hayes from The Nation is here to LOL at her.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Newt Gingrich's new bold idea is to reduce or eliminate the Capital Gains taxes...which he came up with back in 1997!
Silver - Trace Gallagher and Charles Krauthammer said there's a $8 Billion high speed train from Vegas to Disneyland. Only in their Fantasyland.
Gold - Lame Duck retiring Sen. Kit Bond (R-MO) says he wanted to have 700 new homes and 3,000 new jobs in Missouri...but voted "No". Nice work, Sparky.

Number 1:
He's dabbled in fantasy sports, he picked Barack Obama to win the White House, and tonight, Nate Silver of is here to pick the Oscar winners!

We'll be back tomorrow with more fun than imagined.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/17/09

The Tie: Red.

Number 5: And so, the $787 Billion Stimulai package is law. President Obama signed his bill in Denver and the first project is a new Osage River bridge in Missouri. Timing is everything. Also, 17,000 troops to be deployed in Afganistan to hopefully hunt down and arrest or kill Osama Bin Laden, alond with lots and lots of money ($16.6B for GM, cutting 20K jobe, and $5B for Chrysler while cutting three lines and 5K jobs.) Take it away, Howard Fineman!

And then there's House Minority Whip Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA). His wife works for a bank that got $267M in your tax dollars which her husband voted for. Now he's on the attack on Obama's new mortage plan on CBS' The Early Show this morning. But the GOP's plan was more expensive. Tax and spend, indeed says Eugene Robinson.

Number 4:
When it says "Libby Libby Libby" on No Pardon Pardon Pardon... Herr Goebles Cheney wanted Adolph XLIII to grant a full pardon to Scooter Libby but Adolph refused. Herr Goebles was pissed off beyond belief. And believe ot or not, Adolph was correct. Adolph was fucking right! Commuting a 30-month jail term wasn't enough for Herr Goebles. All from the imfamous Valerie Plame leak and even Turdblossom of Fixed Noise showed up on Today his side. Tom DeFrank, Washington Bureau Chief of The New York Daily News, broke the news broke the news today. Oh boy.

Oddball: In Ashford, Georgia 35 years ago, a giant peanut was erected, leading to this blooper at CNN. That's peanut, not male genatalia. At least it was unintentional... And in Algeria a man eats nails.

Best Persons: 3 - Gary Schneeberger says the Religious Right should not be called the Religious Right. 2 - Sen Roland Burris (D-IL) said yes, he tried to raise money for Blago. 1 - George Will doesn't make sense to the University of Illinois Artic Climate Center that saw sea water go down.

Musical Segue: Robert Van Winkle's "Ice Ice Baby", a sheer ripoff of Bowie and Queen's "Pressure".

Number 3: Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister's daughter Bristol (named for the Connecticut city where ESPN is) saying that abstance isn't realistic. The elderst daughter of Miss Wasalia 1984 spoke on Fixed Noise's On The Record with Greta Van Strustren, said that it was her choice. Laura Flanders from, welcome to the show.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Daddy, what did you do in jail during the bailout? A lawsuit filed in a Freedom of Information item. 2 - Yue, Bradbury and others writing waterboarding and now they want it made public. 1 - Pvt. Brad Neeley, USA says beatings were revenge. Okay, tell us more.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Dr. David Tillman is closing the Motion Picture/TV retirement house because they're losing $10 million/year. Otherwise... It's making money...
Silver - Billo the Clown again speaking about the Natlia Salman interview saying she got paid. Wrong again, Billo. Retraction or lawsuit forthcoming. Even made it look like she was paid.
Gold - Comedian Rush Limbaugh claims there was a deal between Jesus and Satan. Quoth Church Lady "Well, isn't that special? Who could it possibly be? Could it be, ummmmmmm... Rush Limbaugh?" And wouldn't you know it, Pat Robertson smacked him down!

Number 1: "I'm here to take my medicine." A-R*d said that twice. At his press conference in Tampa today. Took what turned out to be steroids for three years with the Texas Rangers. Bought in La Republica Dominicana over something called Primobolin with his cousin. The man is a schmuck, plain and simple. Richard Justice delivers his verdict (no pun intended whatsoever).

And so, we'll see you tomorrow for more fun.

Bet You Forgot This...

Yesterday (February 16) was President's Day.  So, in honor of that, here's a vintage Oddball segment on the Washington Nationals' Presidents' Race.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Countdown Live Blog 2/16/09

The Tie: Pink.

Number 5: Will someone tell the Grand Oldboys Party that the $787 billion stimulai will be signed tomorrow (2/17) in Denver. They're still stuck with their heads in the sand. Two GOP members said that they had a hand in a vote that they voted against. More in Worst Persons later. Over on CNN, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said that's not how you define change that you can believe in. Do you think there'll be a next time? Good fricking luck. And Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) loaded a video. No not THAT one. And Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) said the same parrotting of Sen. McCain. E.J. Dionne joins us to compare The Beatles to The Dave Clark Five, menaing President Obama's "Glad All Over."

There's $282 billion in tax cuts, plus lots of monies for everything but the kitchen sink. Nobel Prize winner Paul Krugman says that it's still not enough... Try about $2 trillion over the next three years.

Number 4: Sen. Roland Burris (D-IL) may become the shortest serving senator since Pierre Salinger did so for the State of California in 1964, and he was better known as President Kennedy's press secratary. Burris talked to Blago's brother one month after the impeachment hearings and we are in the midst of a dicey situation. More info about when did he know about it and when did he forget it...blaming it on the media on crosshairs of what not, and they'll look into it, which brings Margaret Carlson back to anaylize.

Oddball: Happy 100th birthday Hugh Beaumont. Remember the most famous double entendre of all time? "Ward, are you being too hard on the Beaver." In Hong Kong, a woman wanted to get from Hong Kong to San francisco, and it's captured on a cell phone via the interwebs. Keith says he does worse in his office. And to India, it's the Rural Olympics because, well, MSNBC is the network of the Olympics.

Best Persons: 3 - Thurston's Bowling Alley was slated to reopen after refurbishment until all the balls were gone and sawed in half. 2 - Sheriff Leon Lott will not prosicute Michael Phelps at all. 1 - Remember Sarah Palin's favorite cosignment shop? It was called "Out of the Closet". There's a chain in California with the same name raising money for AIDS causes, and the shop's Alaskan owner has changed her store name to something Sen. McCain isn't going to have, "Second Run."

Musical Segue: Something about The Midas Touch.

Number 3: One month after leaving office, we learn that Adolph Bush XLIII was the seventh worst President of all time...and the third worst than We Would Like To Thank You Herbert Hoover and second worst than William Henry Harrision, who died one month after his inauguration. Speaking of Adolph...

Still Bushed!: 3 - W. is for Whitewash, and now Eliott Abrams says that Scotter Libby would have been pardoned. 2 - And still defending torture, an internal investigation is forthcoming. 1 - More Blackwater. No convictions, and now it's Xe. As in "Z". And Adolph will be renemaed Jan Stinkovan.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World, The President's Day Anti-Stimulus Special Edition)
Bronze - Betsy McCaughey got paid $11K in pharmicutical stocks along with a $55K salary and made tons of errors. So much for that debate plan, JFein? She's welcome on the buy ads.
Silver - Reps. Mica (R-FL) and Rep. Young (R-AK) took a yet cynical praise to the stim.
Gold - Comedian Rush Limbaugh does not understand Adobe Acrobat Reader PDFs and computers on the stim.

Number 1: Harry "Welcome to 'Le Show'" Shearer's here to show us through the new opening (in HD yet!) for his other gig, the sixth member of that TV family called The Simpsons, and our pal Seth MacFarlane gets a little dig in during last night's episde of Family Guy on the most unattractive male name: Keith.

I'm going over to watch WWE RAW. See you tomorrow.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Dear Keith: It's A Trap...Don't Fall For It!

Remember Thursday's show?  The one where Keith called out Betsy McCaughey, former Lieutenant Governor of the State of New York?  The one where she is a spokesperson for a group run by the pharmasutical companies against universal health care?

Well, look what we have here. 
At, she has challenged Keith to a debate. Lah-de-fricking-dah.  She's a shill for big pharma.  She's so far to the right, she makes Michael Weinersavage, Sean Inanity, Comedian Rush Limbaugh (de facto GOP leader) and even Bill Orally look sane by comparison.

Keith, even if you read this blog, do not even think of challenging her to this debate.  She's never understood what part of the word "shill" she's never heard of.  She's much better off being a member of a political party after switching from the Grand Oldboys Party to one that checks their sanity in at the membership drive, and has as much of a chance of winning the White House as, say, Andy Reid losing 100 pounds on the NurtiSystem for Men plan.

You should know that instead of chasing a stalker/producer out after her like your main rival, if you can call him that, you should ignore this call.  Maybe instead, you should do one of those Special Comments about how nuttier than a banana split she is.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/13/09

More about this in the Number 1 Story below.
The Tie: Bright red.

Number 5: The stimulai passed the House, and not one member of the Grand Oldboys Party (and seven Democrats including ex-Washington Redskin QB Heath Shuler) voted against it, and we awaited Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH) to say "aye" after flying back from the funeral of his mother with 59 votes already in the bank and with that call at 10:47 PM US EST send the $789 billion plan to President Obama and sign it as soon as Tuesday (2/17). Turdblossom would be fecking proud. Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) was absent because he was in Florida. On CNBC's "Squak Box", Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) explained his side of the story. And this morning, spending would make a recovery with 3.5 million jobs over the next 24 months of the worst ecomonic disaster since the Great Depression. Richard Wolffe now has a stim to tell us, and now the next stop will be how to save the banks and the housing markets.

Eugene Robinson joins us for the funeral for bipartianism in the Obama Administration.

Number 4: The flight of Continential Airlines Flight 3407 which crashed outside Buffalo, NY saw 49 passengers and an innocent bystander pass away, and one of the victims was Beverly Eckert, whose husband passed away on 9/11. The fragility of life as we know it has now come full circle. The tireless avovcate for the victim's rights and even Secratary of State Hilary Clinton publicly thanked her. Nothing out of the ordinary except for ten minutes of explosions, while ice buildup occured. Ironicly, it was the same airport (Newark Liberty) where United Airlines Flight 93 went airborne.

Oddball: President Lincoln was officially certified. In Hong Kong, it's Valentine's Day and there is a race with husbands carrying their the local shopping center. And in Thailand, it's the annual bed 90-degree heat.

Best Persons: 3 - Jack Wolf Photography sends us a picture of Capt. Sully and Keith on the sidelines before Super Bowl XLIII. 2 - A GOP retreat asked Mike McKenna to come up with the name "Drill Baby, Drill". 1 - Fixed and Fiends Steve Doocy didn't realize that field mice would not get a Lincoln bicentennail Penny from your government. Personally, former weatherman Doocy and his fellow hosts, namely ex-beauty queen Gretchen Carlson and former sportscaster Brian Killamede, collectively could not find their asses with their hands even with a braille roadmap and a a GPS system.

Musical Segue: Fontella Bass' "Rescue Me".

Number 3: Jimmy Carter, the 39th President of the United States joins us to see us find peace in the Mideast, this time with Hamas and Israel, one of the many problems left by Adolph XLIII. He also slams the GOP House members as "robots who are told what to do". Oh, SNAP! That doesn't bode well for 2010...and beyond.

Still Bushed! (Postponed from last night due to President Obama's speech):
3 - Adolph will have filthy lucre paying lectures starting in Calgary. Alberta. Canada. And it begins on St. Patrick's Day. Whopee-damned-doo. 2 - Pete Domenci is getting supoenaed. 1 -
According to USA TODAY, 61% of the USA are in favor of criminal charges on torture and Adolph XLIII.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Rep. John Culverson (R-TX) says Nancy Pelosi's trip was on hold holding the GOP hostage.
Silver - Glenn Beck said that Henry Ford was against The New Deal. He didn't want to because he was a Nazi.
Gold - Jeff Fredrick told McCain volunteers about Obama and Bin Laden, and now errors on Lincoln's Gettysburg Address saying it was in the 1980's, and misquotes Charles Darwin, in 49 seconds makes eight errors. Lincoln was a Republican, and so is Fredrickson, er, Fredruck, er...

Number 1: Wait a second. You mean to tell me Turdblossom himself is on Twitter? And Adolph XLIII could join him there in cyberspace? Or be on Facebook?

(See above picture for my reaction.)

Paul F. Tompkins of VH1's Best Week Ever LOLs at you, Turdblossom and Fixed Noise collegues.

Have a nice Valentine's Day everyone.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/12/09

The Tie: Gold, black and white stripes.

"I forgot." Let's say you pleaded to join the Obama cabinet and realize that you were partisan. Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) withdraws from the Secratary of Commerce position. Part of the far right side on the Grand Oldboys party, and declines to say how he'll vote tomorrow night (2/13) on the revised $789 billion stimulai after the House gets the vote earlier in the day. "I forgot." Sen. Gregg is just not into Obama. Meantime, Turdblossom in The Murdoch Street Journal says the stimulai won't work and praised the GOP reps in the House. Ray Lahood of Peoria, a Republican who makes some sense, was given an Obama Shout Out as transportation secratary at the Caterpillar palnt where Adolph XLIII wanted his version of Freedom of the press by trying to run them all over two years earlier. Howard Fineman explains what the blue hell is going on. Meanwhile, President Obama's in Springfield, Illinois for the Abraham Lincoln Association dinner.

Dennis Blair is sure the economic crisis has replaced terrorism as the biggest fear in security, and Eugene Robinson tells us about the biggest threat since Al-Qaeda.

A smear that wasn't a smear. This begins with Comedian Rush Limbaugh (de facto leader of the Republican Party) an a misplaced verb on a so-called health tsar which was parrotted in the Drudge Report, Fixed Noise Channel and CNN with a secret policy that started with Betsy McCaughey's Bloomsberg News commentary. It was to help guide medical decisions in Title XXX, A 300 (c). Say hello to David Brailler, appointed by Adolph XLIII. As for McCoy, she is a fellow at a think thank sponsored by pharmacutical groups being run by the same guy who torpedoed President Clinton's plan for the universal health system. Lawrence O'Donnell joins us with his comments. Yes, it's deja vu all over again, Yogi Berra.

President Obama speaks at the Lincoln bicentennial dinner in Springfield, Illinois. While the speech was going on, Leon Panetta was confirmed to be CIA director by the Senate. Howard Fineman rejoins us to anaylise this.

Worst Persons in the World
Bronze - Inanity on the issue of one of Fixed Noise's puppets, and he parrots it.
Silver - Billo compares Helen Thomas to The Wicked Witch of the East. Then apologizes by doing her voice. Margaret Hamilton is spinning in her grave.
Gold - Former newsman Bernie Goldberg says "screw them, throwing spitballs at battleships." And the mass murderer read his book The 100 People Who Are Ruining America and killed kids in a musical.

Apologies for the dishevled format tonight. We'll get it back to a sense of normalcy by tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Countdown "Plausably Live" Blog: 2/11/09

The Tie: Brown, black and cream stripes.

Number 5: On the day the White House and Congress agreed on a final $780 billion stimulai package compromise, the heads of many banks sat in front of Rep. Barney Frank's (D-Mass.) Finance Services Committee on the taxpayer-funded bailouts. Meanwhile, the New York State Attorney General warned of the illegal "bonus" payouts from Merrill Lynch before the Bank of America merger to Barney's committee, and it didn't occur on Ken Lewis' watch as he pointed out. But they said at Morgan Stanley not to call them bonuses, but something else. More in a moment. Major changes will be made when BoA closes the deal, and the bonuses will not be paid out until next February 15. Most banks won't take federal monies thinking they believe they are beibng taken over by the government. And BoA lied about not raising credit card rates and reduced credit at certain places. Committee member Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) jouins Keith to answer the misunderstanding they all had. And as usual, we'll blame it on Adolph XLIII.

Number 4: And now more on Morgan Stanley's "bonuses". They won't be called bonuses but "retention awards". Basically, it's the same thing but with a brand new euphanism. As Monty Hall of Let's Make A Deal or Geoff Edwards on The New Treasure Hunt would do, do you want to keep the cash award or do you want to go for what's in the box Sivi Alberg and Carol Merrill have there? got the audio on their site with Morgan Stanley and Citigroup SmithBarney in a conference call. they say they won't take any money from the Feds, but Chris Hayes of The Nation says otherwise.

Oddball: In 1957, the NHL Players Association was formed, and Ted Lindsay was traded from Detroit to Chicago, and fictional quotes trashing teammates abound. First they thought fireworks would be a stimulant for the economy in Chinese Taipei. Now molten lava could help in China against the town wall. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. And in Japan, there's a heart on a bull. Cue Heart's "What About Love" and the love puppy!

Best Persons: 3 - Steve Tapp went Plaxico Burgess at Good Samertian Hospital's cafeteria in Colorado. 2 - Inanity thinks bailout money is going to a frisbee golf course. Nope. 1 - Jon Scott of Fixed Noise reads propaganda but the typo of "December 2009" was left.

Musical Segue: Brena Lee's "I'm Sorry".

Number 3: And now to the simulai. The Far Right section of the Grand Oldboys Party is going on the attack again (BOR-ING!) and are fighting the same uphill battle that Hercules had pushing that boulder. Creation (or saving) 3.5 million jobs was the main stalking point by Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) and Obama has evidence that it's otherwise with $276 billion in tax cuts. Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii) sayd if we delay the bill passage, another Great Depression would occur as a super power. Jonathan Alter joins us to outline what is needed.

After yesterday's town meeting, Fla. Rep. Nick Thompson has offered Henrietta Hunter one of his homes for free.

Still Bushed!: 3 - The Dereg of Peanut Corporation of America and they found salmonella doing nothing about it. 2 - Ben and Jerry made Yes Pecan, but there won't be Abu Grape, Iraqui Road or Impeach-Mint. I can now officially try to market Wire Tapocia pudding if I wanted to. 1 - Turdblossom still talks in LaLaLand and that leaks harm everyone.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Brian Deer, the writer of the altered British investigation complained about it. The paper he works for - The Times of London - is owned by Murdoch. Also, misread Pirate Rupert, and Keith apologizes but the typo there hasn't been fixed.
Silver - Billo says GE stock was down to $10/share. Say, didn't NewsCorpse fall to $7/share?
Gold - Rep. Steve Austria (R-OH) believed that FDR started The Great Depression. We Want To Thank You Once Again, Herbert Hoover.

Number 1:
Stay classy, press representative for Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), House Minority Whip. Show this NSFW or the kiddies audio rerecord of an AFSCME PSA with 14 obscene words as a reponse to a writer responding to a question on the union and it escapes on YouTube! So Margaret Carlson gives her take on it, and now he apologizes for that.

Okay, see you tomorrow boys and girls. Lemme tell you, Paulie Walnuts would be proud I tell ya...

More Lies from the Phineas T. Bluster of Electronic Journalism

Once again, Billo the Clown has decided to stick foot "A" into mouth "B" on his favorite subject, NB"C".

Bill O'Reilly is the Velveeta of the news biz, the endless all-you-can-eat for $4.99 buffet in Vegas of incorrect facts. It has since become the equivilant of Sideshow Bob hitting the rake for the gazillionth time, and during Inauguration Week, Jessie, one of his stalker/producers got verbally smacked down by Jessica Alba, even knowing that Sweden was indeed neutral (and painfully so) during World War II. Just three full days into the Obama Administration, he once again showed his lack of knowledge on Nielsen numbers and the General Electric-owned NBC/MSNBC family. All the comments made in his January 23rd Stalking Points, er, Talking Points memo are quoted verbatum with bold italic lettering. And they were also listed word-for-word as well. You supply the Ted Baxter impression while reading this, and I'll just translate them back into human for you.

"On the TV front, the uber-liberal MSNBC network was ranked 22nd last week, right behind the Roller Derby Network I beliveve. Fox News was ranked second, a tremendous performance."

Check that. In the all-important Money Demo, the 25-to-54 age group NewsCorp lusts for, Monday, January 19th Countdown drew 737,000 viewers, No Bias, No Bull with Campbell Brown on CNN drew 723,000 viewers and the Orally Factor Fiction Comedy Hour drew 658,000 viewers. The next night, Brown saw 1,530,000 viewers, Countdown saw 909,000 viewers, Billo had 849,000 viewers. Bill, you finished third both nights, and to both times, behind Campbell Freakin' Brown! And you said there's a Nielsen conspiracy factor? Come on Bill, the truth is that you suck! And do you know who was number one that week among cable networks in prime time? USA Network, owned by NBC Universal. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Anyway, back to Phineas T. Bluster already in progress.

"But why are we hammering far-left NBC News? Well, it may be that liberals are aghast at their product. While covering the handover of power from President Bush to President Obama, NBC was the only network to run a split screen of Bush haters. What a classy thing to do, right NBC News?"

Wrong again, Bill. You see, those were not Bush haters as you said, but supporters of Obama. Hell, the night before, the people who gathered around the booth MSNBC had set up at the National Mall sarcasticly sang "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" when we repeated the breaking story that Vice President Cheney was going to be in a wheelchair for the inauguartion after hurting himself moving boxes. Change was coming, and it was to be swift as well.

"And by the way, that network was totally wrong about Caroline Kennedy."

Then again, so was every other news organization that evening. We didn't expect Caroline Kennedy to make news this night either. By this time, journalism's answer to Major Frank Burns was now in full mudslinging mode, hammering everything in sight and missing by a mile.

"And the hate that the far-left media traffics in has alienated many folks. I mean, the disrespect to President Bush is disgraceful, and most decent people know it."

If you had the laundry list of all the post 9/11 war crimes - waterboarding, Gitmo, wiretapping, and that other stuff such as hiring and firing Justice Department employees because of their polotical background - the disrespect given to President Bush wasn't disgraceful, but well documented and also the truth, something Bill don't know about. And then you sent out your stalker/producer Porter Berry to answer questions being asked to Russell Tice, the former NSA employee that he didn't want to answer and he laid it out here on January 21st. Disrespect? No, more like the truth, and trust me, Billo, you can't handle the truth.

"The bottom line on the bottom line is this..."

Bill, did you get that from the Department of Redundant Redundancy Department, or did you steal that from Stuart Scott over at ESPN?

"Most American news consumers remain traditional folks who respect their country, and don't appreciate hateful attacks on a president even if they dsagree with the president's policy. The liberal media is destroying itself, allowing zealotry to obliterate fairness. That's what's in play here."

Let me repeat that next to last sentance for you. "The liberal media is destroying itself, allowing zealotry to obliterate fairness." This late word in, Sparky: Fixed Noise does the same thing. Obliterate fairness with zealotry. You just made a comment that is true about your own cable television news channel owned by Captain Keith Rupert Murdoch, but changed the words from "conserative" to "liberal", and saw the devisation of the Republican party in 2006 and 2008. No wonder the sixteen remaining members of the GOP are in trouble!

"As Judge Reinhold said in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, 'Read it, learn it, live it.'"

And, in the words of The Rock in his fake fighting days, "Know your role, jaborni and shut your mouth."

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/10/09

The Tie: Purple with maroon dots.

Number 5: Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) came back to the Senate today as they OK'd the $829 billion stimulai package by a 61-37 vote. And the GOP is on the attack... on House Democrats. Meanwhile, President Obama was in Lee County, Florida to make his pitch introduced by Florida Gov. Charlie Criss (R). The plan passing got a standing ovation. Now, it's time to send this to conference and hammer out the compromise. meanwhile, a woman who was not allowed to vote because she lost her home when her son lost his computer programming job got personal with her. Meanwhile, Treasury Secratary Tim Geitner introduced a new TARP which is an ounce of prevention for a pound of cure. Yes, there will be strings attached to this one. Meanwhile, Howard Fineman joins up to say that the Grand Oldboys Party is now painted into a corner.

And the collapse of Lehman Brothers led to the chaos now in charge. Rep. Pual Kanjorski (D-PA) says that on September 15, the Fed reserve saw money markets dropped $550 billion in an hour. And it costs the Treasury $105 in e-funds and set a $250K limit, and if it wasn't there, the world economy woulhave collasped. Daniel Gross from Newsweek is here to tell us that $3.5 trillion was there, and then Lehman Brothers collapses like a cheap flophouse of playing cards.

Number 4: Last night at the presser, President Obama was asked on Sen. Patrick Leahy's (D-VT) planned Truth Commission hearings on the chances that Adolph XLIII or his flunkies are going to get charged with everything about Gitmo, war crimes and so on... And he's talking with Obama and 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue about it. A Frank Church Commissiion was planned when Leahy arrived, and that had failed everything. The usual suspects? Rummy and Herr Goebles Cheney. Prof. Jonathon Turley is back to tell us what model this will follow.

Oddball: Happy anniversary to the banishment of the spitball. Don't tell Gaylord Perry. In Taipei, they set off firecrackers to stimulate the economy believe it or not. In India, a married father of two has with love of his life. Unless his wife hears about it.

Best Persons: 3 - An unnamed 16-year-old Toronto guy went to his job interview and was stabbed in the leg along the way. 2 - A Petsmart with a vet clinic helped a lost deer. Put it on the parakeet's bill. 1 - Sen. Arlen Spector (R-PA) lays the smack down on Laura Schelssinger. No brains on the far right whacko front.

Musical Segue: "If I Only Had A Brain." Dedicated to the brief outage that I had while trying to post that.

Number 3: An enthusiastic Julio Oseuguela wants to be a journalist while working at McDonald's and asks President Obama about improving benefits and looks like John Cena ("The Champ Is Here!") joins Keith live. He's now going to get an internship with Mike Veeck's (as in Bill Veeck as in Wreck) Fort Myers Miracle.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Many cronies of Adolph XLIII are now at The World Bank at $3k/day until 2014. 2 - More rebellion on John Yue and Donald Gregg in The Philadelphia Inquirer goes against the torture thing. 1 - Ari Fleischer on Billo the Clown's humor fest post-PC criticized Huff Po and forgot Talon News had "oddballs and morons".

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - John Scott at Fixed noise read an actual Senate GOP press release word for word if you can figure it out.
Silver - Billo the Clown rips off Countdown set and graphics, and rips into Cher...and edits out her comments of some Repbulicans.
Gold - Dr. Andrew Wakefield's MMR triple vaccine effects on autism were made up if you can believe it. Sir, have you met Michael Weinersavage and his riff on autism as "an act"?

Number 1: A-Fraud* enters the Countdown Apology Hall of Shame Hall of Fame tonight. And he has to apologize again. Video here.

So that's it for tonight. let's meet again manana...same time, same website, same blog.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Countdown "Plausably Live" Blog: 2/9/09

Just a quick reminder, this is a recap of the 10 PM US EST edition as:

A. President Obama held his first prime time press conference;
B. I watched WWE RAW at that same time;
C. I lost some sleep.

The Tie: Silvery light blue.

Number 5: And so President Obama's first White House presser is for the ages. After winning the first batle with the Congress on the stimulai package by a 61-34 vote and the first town hall meeting unscreened to remove questionable content in eight years, the repeated warning on the next great depression (not his fault mind you) in a seven minute rant when he explained the Japanese crisis of the 1990's. Bottom line is that seven million jobs, homeowners get relief and everyone on both sides gave ideas, and he won't return to the Dick Trickledown therory. It's spending, and there will be clean and green stuff in the stimulai package. Also, fair warning of another TARP package - the remaining $350 billion - will have strings attached (no trips to far off places, big bonuses, etc.) In Elkhart, Indiana, the meeting was with people who were not screened but didn't vote for him as well. The risks of no action are dire indeed. Richard Wolffe anaylizes the whole day.

Number 4: So what does the Good Oldboys Party now do? Sen. John Conyers (R-Texas) failed to vote on the package after slamming Obama, three moderate Republicans - including senile Arlen Spector (R-PA) - crossed party lines to vote in favor of ending the debate and now there will be a full vote tomorrow (2/10) for the $829 billion at noon. The US Chamber of Commerce is in favor, but Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said that it would hurt it all. Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) said we shouldn't criticize, but he did. Chris Hayes from The Nation joins us about the mess that the GOP is in as of late.

Oddball: Jim Jensen first anchored a newscast on WCBS-TV this date. Akira the Husky was caught red-pawed in the act of stealing a rawhide bone in Utah. In Raleigh, NC, a run for "Mmmmmmmm... Donuts" at Krispy Kreme. Two miles to the store, and back... Did we mention that you had to eat a dozen donuts before running back? Mucho barfo indeedo.

Still Bushed!: 3 - The graft of FEMA (or FEEBLE) that is Katrina from $3.9 billion in Adolph XLIII red tape. 2 - A Boeing security lawsuit for kidnapping under DoJ wanted to throw out this suit, and Obama said nope. 1 - More Gitmo from a janitor from Ethopia said he read an article on how to build an H-bomb from the pages of Rolling Stone... Satire much?

Number 3: Capt. Chesley "Sully" Sullenburger recieved the key to the City of New York for his heroic efforts when those pesky birds destroyed the engines on US Airways Flight 1549...and so did the rest of the crew. He even praised the first responders who came out to help. Tom Costello did a group interview with them on the flight.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - After the hearing for his future CIA position, one of Leon Panetta's associates decides to bully a reporter trying to ask a question. Very nice...for the old days.
Silver - That new GOP chairman calls the stimulai "a spending package" to government work. Umm...yeah. So what do you call it when you take money from an outside source when running for office?
Gold - A professor who worked on Wall Street bitches about the old days of the 1970's when there was a recession and no executive got a big bonus. In the words of Joe Dolce, "Shaddap A-You Face." If they are supposed to be a stimulus for the economic recovery, then my name is Slim Shady...and it isn't.

Number 1: A-Rod used 'roids. Even President Obama, a noted Chicago White Sox fan was outraged. Former Yankees publicist (one of over seventy that the Steinbrenners used since they took over the Yanks) Rick Cerrone joins us to explain what A-Fraud must do.

See you later tonight for a live blog.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

A Refresher Course on How to Handle Porter and Jesse Should They Come and Stalk You Into an Interview With Billo

Well, remember last night's (2/6) WPitW? The one that had Billo the Clown and his stalker/producer Porter Potty, er, Porter Berry trying to goad Russell Tice, the man that told all to Keith on why they were (illegally) spying on all of us?

I figured we needed to brush up on our measures on how to handle these Billo brown shirts who are named Jesse and Porter...