Countdown Live Blog: 3/30/09

The Tie: Red with small white dots.

Number 5: Herr Goebles, or as Mike Peters now dubs him "Ayatollah DickCheney", as Seymour Hirsch told Goebles Israel not to trust Prsident Obama (then President-elect) because he would back the Palastinians, and the outlines of the covert asassins for hire was "not true, but the outline was certainly true" according a former aide to Herr Goebles on CNN. Richard Wolffe, what part of the word "asshole" didn't Cheney get?

And then the Abu Zabayah waterboarding torture confessions was obtained from Dictator Adolph XLIII after he gave them information, and now Spain builds a major attack and a trail of six, including Fredo but not Adolph or Goebles. Prof. Jonathon Turley, is that enough for all of us to sleep better tonight? No one expected this Spanish Inquisition!

Number 4: The White House sacked Rick Wagoner, the CEO of General Motors, this as part of the bailout money they will get in the next 60 days, and give Chrylser a month to getting help from the Italian group Fiat kin exchange for government cash. Dan Gross from Newsweek joins us to tell us ownership news.

Oddball: Richard Dysert was born 80 years ago today. In Louisville, Colonel Sanders now sponsors pothole filling. And in Lima, Peru, Princess Inca levitated herself into Magic's Biggest Secrets...Revealed.

Number 3: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) won't endorse Sarah Palin's Evil Twin Sister, Miss Wasalia 1984, until he sees the rest of the GOP field for 2012. Among the others mentioned were Gov. Kenneth The Page (R-LA) and Gov. john Huntsman (R-UT) and the continued meltdown of Good Oldboysandgirls Party chairman Michael Steele is jealous of the President. Plus, a vedor is suing the GOP for $800K for expenses from last year's asskissing clusterfuck in St. Paul. So, Chris Kofinis, just how long (and wrong) has it been time since McCain got BarackRolled?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Tonight's nominees are eligible for the weekly honors on Friday...

Bronze - Charles E. F. Millard took the $64 billion of pension out of bonds into stocks...real estate...and lost money.

Silver - William Kristol hyped the hell out of Adolph's WMD in Iraq, and was asked to deny...and didn't.

Gold - Paranoid Glenn Beck is paranoid of the 9/11 victims as of the newest Harold Hill.

Number 1: Bill O'Reilly spoke with Broadcasting and Cable in celebration of his 100th month of being the leader in the ratings. But it's not the longest TV winning streak. Today has been winning since May 1995, and Meet The Press has had a streak since May 1998... and they're both on NBC. And it's false that he never mentioned He Who Must Not Be Named. But you know what, he did long before he sic'd Fixed Noise Security on the man from Orlando after calling the radio comedy show. The video proof is in the pudding as they say.

Well, that will do it for me. Of to the hilarity of WWE RAW. Catch you tomorrow.