Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Big Question Is...

Will Keith do his Pirate Rupert (or any pirate) impression tomorrow (2/1) as NBC's blow-out-the-budget five hour pre-game extravaganza takes place from the Buccaneers' pirate ship at Raymond James Stadium?

Friday, January 30, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/30/09

One more night from Tampa, and Dan Patrick joins us tonight to preview this football game Sunday between the Steelers and the Cardinals that they're doing a little pre-game show that's about five hours long...

The Tie: Lavender.

Number 5: "We have a bunch of idiots who are kicking our face in the sand." With those words, the angst of the $18B bonuses from Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.) who introduced a bill that no executive will make more than $400K/year, in exchange for TARP cash. Example: Merrill Lynch before the Bank of America takeover, usually paid their bonuses in January, but did it in December. In addition, union workers will get priority hiring under a new order by President Obama with Federal contracts. Richard Wolffe listens to a slightly louder Keith at The NFL Experience in West Central Florida (speaking over annoying announcements over the PA system).

The attack on Comedian Rush Limbaugh, de facto leader of the GOP, is coming from a group who is using the line "I hope [Obama] fails" from his radio comedy show. E.J. Dionne is here to spell it all out. Yes, before becoming the Minnesota Senator without a seat in his decade, he - Al Franken - wrote the truth about him: Rush Limbaugh Is a Big, Fat Idiot.

Number 4: And what a segue to this: The Republicans' leader resigned and Comedian wanted (are you ready for this one?) Miss Wasalia 1984 Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister to replace him. MRRRP! Cue The Price is Right Losing Horns, because after six rounds, Michael Steele, an African American (African American Republican, oxymoronic that is) won the vote, and Sarah Palin, Turkey Killer, will join the President at The Alfalfa Dinner (not named for Al Michaels, thank you) manana (1/31). Meanwhile, Eugene Robinson anaylizes the fact that the Steelers will do a lot of blitzing this weekend...and looks at Michael Steele. As for you, Mr. Comic Limbaugh, sorry you didn't win (again) so here's a case of Rice-A-Roni, "The San Francisco Treat" along with a supply of Turtle Wax and the home version of the Race to the White House 1876 Edition.

Meanwhile, Tom Dashell failed to list on his tax returns a driver while as Majority Leader of the Senate, but has paid it back with interest...stay tuned for more details.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Intel is still bad with the gal who told about getting her ass covered about 9/11. 2 - More torture authorization from Jose Padilla, Citizen of the USA. 1 - Thanks for the cartitude for those in Iraq. Ask Tony Blair, and he suffered lots of doubt. NOT!

Number 3: He's gone, and boy he still hasn't been forgotten by the late-night comics. We're talking about the impeachment removal of our old friend Ramblin' Rod Blagojevich, he of the helmet hair from the Illinois Governor's office yesterday (1/29). Pat Quinn officially began his interim term as Governor today, now putting a reform group under his watch. Here's the recap of all the real humor from the last stand of Balgo, compliments of JFein: Hair by Supercuts. Body by Milk. Mind by the certified insane. Humor by Late Night Comedians.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Steve Doocy of Fixed and Fiends looked into the stimuli...and parrots Comedian Limbaugh on ACORN. Dumb.
Silver - Glenn Beck lashed out on "clean coal" and didn't realize the stimuli has $2.4B for it. Beck supported clean coal last year. Dumber.
Gold - Rex Tillerson, CEO of Exxon Mobil had profits of $45.2B, which makes him WPitW tonight, but none of it goes out to the stimulai. Cheapskate.

Number 1: No, the pre-game show hasn't started, but at least Keith is there and so is his tag-team partner Dan Patrick to preview Super Bowl Ex El Aye Aye Aye...and the twenty one announcer, five hour, multiple guest anaylists and other NBC Universal family members pre-game Super Sunday in America show. Meanwhile, Obama has the Steelers because the Rooneys and coach Mike Tomlin endorsed him. He's inviting a few friends to his crib to watch along with Matt Laurer after their interview. Dan's also doing the trophy presentation. Why the hell couldn't they get Bob Costas?

We have a live blog this Sunday starting about 12:55 PM US EST, so join me and Stinky the Tap-Dancing Wonder Pig for our marathon. BTW, my mom is out of the hospital and is doing well, thank you.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/29/09

Night four in Tampa.

The Tie: Pink.

Number 5: Oh the bonuses of $450M to those at AIG and for the $18.4B elsewhere to raise President Obama's angst just nine full days into this administration, and for Wall Street, the honeymoon is officially over, lest the $50M jet plane Citigroup bought and returned. Vice President Biden visited with CNBC's John Harwood saying it's outragous, and now the Senate wants on the stimuli package, wanting to work. Meanwhile, the GOP and Rep. Boehner sent a clear message with their 174 nay votes, and the dirty dozen Democrats who voted no will likely get a clear message in 2010 from those constituents in their states. Jonathon Alter says that yes, it may be time for those to take back the money and put it into mass transit and other stuff.

Meanwhile, Chris Hayes from The Nation explains the GOP's stupid explanation on why they voted against it. Remember, 33 Senate seats will be up in 2010...and the GOP looks like they're dead in the H2O

Number 4: Rod Blagojevich was evicted 59-0 by the Illinois State Senate in a "kangaroo court" as he called it from the Govenror's offiice in the Land of Lincoln; forty votes were needed to toss him out. Remember Evan Meachum, the man who cancelled Martin Luther King Day in Arizona costing them Super Bowl XXVII? He was the last impeachee in 1988. Blago's presser after his impeachment was vintage bizzaro world. he should have been impeached due to his hair. Blago also won't be allowed to have a future seat to hold in Illinois politically, also passing 59-0. Pat Quinn now is your Illinois governor.

Oddball: The DuMont network founder was born on this day. In Iraq, a giant shoe and if you want to know why, see Adolph XLIII. In New Zealand, two cons handcuffed to each other run into a lamp post.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Secratary of the Army recalling 20K body armour products. Six years late. 2 - The death by electricution by Haliburton's KBR division reverbarates to a new $35M contract. 1 - John Yue, the man who wants torture, wrote in The Murdoch Street Journal we need more torture. Why the fuck did this guy become delusional? And naming it "The Bush System"? "The Adolph XLIII System" was more realistic.

Number 3: Turdblossom has been supoenaed to appear in front of the House Judiciary Committee next week, and Turdblossom may have just earned a one-way ticket to Camp Fed by saying he'll ignore it. Appearing on the Billo Comedy Hour, Turdblossom said he will more than likely hide. Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-NY) of said committee joins us to tell us what happens next.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - The First Choice Liquor Store down under thought a girl wasn't preggers...but was.
Silver - Phil Gingri (R-Ga.) was standing back and throws bricks, but now stands with Comedian Rush Limbaugh. Speaking of Comedian...
Gold - He was P\/\/N3D by Mark Haynes on CNBC, after admitting he wanted Obama to fail. I hear hypocricisy!

Number 1: Mike Tomlin was interviewed by Olbermann. He watches Countdown and is now considered a Loyal Friend and True for that these days. More on the interview during Super Sunday in America this Sunday on NBC... Which will be live blogged BTW right here!

See you tomorrow night.

Barry Bonds Used Steroids

This according to The New York Times this morning (1/29) and they say the Feds have a positive test.

And in other news, the sun rose in the east this morning and the sky is blue.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/28/09

It's night three of Keith coming at you from Tampa, and all of us are professionally jealous with tons of snow and ice in much of the country.

The Tie: Brown, cream and black stripes.

Number 5: Not one GOP member voted for the stimuli package in the House today, and a dozen Democrats voted "nay" as well. The Republicans bitch that mass transit and bridges need fixing, and too little of it as well. President Obama is happy, but now the Senate gets the bill, and even after Starbucks announced the closing of 300 stores and layoff of 650 employees and Boeing slashes 10,000 jobs, and even the Postal Service says thay want to lose one day of mail delivery, it looks like there will be a fillibuster. The Republicans have their own plan, and it is guaranteed that Obama will veto that plan. Refreshments, anyone? Richard Wolffe joins us and anaylizes the whole muckraking.

If the GOP are wagering that those for the bailout, attacking Harry Reid in Reno TV ads complete with broken piggy bank. Who will think of the piggy banks? Lawrence O'Donnell joins us to see what the all-in vote for the Republicans means for those of us in the 2010 mid-terms.

Number 4: The ACLU, the far right wing's worst nightmare, has called on President Obama to release papers of the Adolph XLIII administration from the Justice Department. Elsewhere, Attorney General designate Eric Holder got the rubber stamp (17-2) from the Senate Justice Committee with one nay vote from that renagade Texas Senator, John Corbin. Do a spit take. The full Senate votes tomorrow, and we should get another rubber stamp. Prof. Jonathon Turley rejoins us for the full story.

Oddball: Six years ago tonight, the Weapons of Mass Destruction lie was told. And there's a parrot in Sweden who is potty trained. Pining for the fjords? (Sorry, John Cleese.) Meanwhile, in China, thirteen new baby pandas are on display.

Best Persons: 3 - Rep. Mike Pence is no fan of Comedian Rush Limbaugh. 2 - John T. West and Ashley Sorensen stole tires in Sacrameto, and they went back to see if she called the cops. Oops. 1 - Employees at Mr. B's Pancake House in Muskegon, Michigan worked for free Sunday, and tips were increased.

Musical Segue: The O'Jays "For The Love of Money." Remember, everybody has a price.

Number 3: Blago wants to talk for an hour and a half - mindlessly BTW - tomorrow (1/29) before the Illinois Senate votes on his removal from office in Springfield, Illinois. He's done 20 interviews before this closing argument. Cue the silliness of Blago, intersperced with everything including Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. Even Richard J. Daley, Chicago's all-powerful mayor thinks Blago's nuttier than my regifted fruitcake.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Daddty, what did you in jail do during the bailout? AIG paid $450M in your bailout tax dollars in bonuses. 2 - More Gitmo, and another one will stay as an assistant cook in there. 1 - History Day 2: The GOP meets to kick their leader to the curb and blame the bailout. *face palm* And Mitch McConnell puts Adolph XLIII under the bus.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - When Billo gets schooled by sofa king hot actress Jessica Alba in World War II history, Malmady rears the ugly head. And Sweden was neutral...painfully so like Switzerland.
Silver - Carl Krauthammer never learned about the worst hate-violence in muslim countries that he wrote.
Gold - Eric Cantor, the House minority whip is whipped about theose stimuli monies.

Number 1: Obama bet his daughter Malia $5 that she couldn't stammer while meeting one of those Jonas Brothers and criticizes Washington, DC for worse snow clearance than Chicago. The former is the lamest excuse for the "consumer lifestyle" crap that passes for Disney Channel (and Radio Disney) programming, the latter may have been like a dad as school was cancelled to what passes for "flurries" in Chi-Town. This from a President who told Al Roker that a 15-degree wind chill was "warm". Margaret Calson's here to disect this all to you.

So with that, I must bid you adieu for the night.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/27/09, the "Will Keith Mention the Big 5-0?" Edition

In case you haven't followed today, Keith (and his non-twin brother Cris Collinsworth) both turn 50 in Tampa tonight. We heard from The Tampa Tribune that they got cakes at the media center during an group interview, and they could not blow out the candles on the cakes. Meanwhile, Keith's at the NFL Experience in Tampa for his second night in West Central Florida.

The Tie: Purple.

Number 5: There ain't no good times, there ain't no bad times, it's just you and me and we just disagree. Such as it is with the Stimulus plans. What now, you say? On Day 7, the GOP wanted to undermine everything Obama had. And now, women's birth control pills and other devices won't likely be part of the plan. But a big tax cut for middle and upper class families has been added by the Republicans, a sign of yes, Reaganomics. Howard Fineman explains this now to you... And picks the Steelers to win Sunday (2/1). Olbermann states McCain will speak about Big Red later.

Meanwhile, after last night's silver WPitW from Citicorp ends the order of that plane, and will cut corporate jest in half. Meanwhile, many other banks are getting TARP cash. Thom Hartmann from Air America Radio joins us, throws a punt reference and Keith mentions that Alfalfa (Al Michaels) would like to keep Gitmo open and put CEOs in there instead of terrorists. It's a great week to put all the football euphamisims out there.

Number 4: President Obama delivered his first White House interview with an Arab TV network not named Al-Jazzerra, and said we are not bad guys. On Al-Arabia TV, he will do all his promises, and even mentioned the fact he lived in a muslim country, has muslim relatives, and says that we're friends to all muslims. This surpasses all the interviews by Arab television networks with Adolph XLIII. Steve Clemons from joins us to look at this in perspective. Just brilliant in a way of telling the truth, he says.

Odball: Gee, what could they possibly talk about for an introduction tonight? Reverand Charles Dodgson, a/k/a Lewis Carroll. And yes, the birthdays wetre mentioned, sonny. In Anchorage, drunk driving car smashes into a coffee shop. And in Massachuetts, turkeys are stopping mail delivery. Cue the Sarah Palin video goodness. Speaking of Miss Wasalia 1984, she's starting a PAC. Tina Fey, hello!

Best Persons: 3 - High School goaler Trevor Leahy reinvents goalie pads. Three shutouts, NHL will declare them illegal. 2 - An English soccer team this season has Tommy Farrer remembered upon passing away...but he's still alive and kicking. 1 - Nathan Kay's death was remembered in Palm Springs as a loyal and true Olbermann fan.

Number 3: Turdblossom is getting supoenaed and the new White House administration, and this time, he can't cite exec privlidge from Adolph XLIII. Recommondation forthcoming, and John Dean joins us to anaylize this. And Turdblossom better have some 'splainin' to do if he doesn't show front of a federal judge.

Still Bushed!: 3 - More torture wanted posters, and the UN has more evidence to get Rumsfeld. 2 - Last week, Adolph XLIII said history will be here. History caled, and said: It's been a disaster in the Mideast and Asia. All in a book review. 1 - Daddy, what did you do during the bailout? More than 87.5% of the executives are still there.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Rush Limbaugh thinks that $4.2 billion will go to corrupt as he might think. That's going to be bid on. Idiot.
Silver - Billo critizes Afgani president on bombing calling it grandstanding. Sick sick.
Gold - Former journalist Bernie Goldberg says that Charlie Rose and Tom Brokaw chatted. All to fit his bias. Geez, turn in your license today Bernie.

Number 1: Keith was at the Super Bowl XLIII media clustermuck at Raymond James Stadium behind him. The game will go on, the long pre-game will go on, Bruce's world tour kickoff halftime show will go on...but the Lingerie Bowl was cancelled because of being held in a clothing optional resort (read "nudist colony"). The organizers had a dispute with the resort operation folks on clothes. Back to the Media Day fun, there was a samba dancer, a guy from NBC Universal-owned Telemundo wearing the network's logo on a football helmet, a TV with ferns on it, and some freak in drag as they asked the same questions and everyone gave the same answers opver and over. Kinda like an Adolph XLIII press conference.

That's all for now. See you tomorrow.

And Today, On Number 50...

We'd thought we'd go back to last October and the post-Vice Presidnetial Debate comments of a National Review blogger with Keith doing an impression of what sounds like Adam West reading from The Penthouse Forum.

It Was On This Date Fifty Years Ago...

Keith Olbermann was born.

On this same day, so was his non-identical twin brother, Cris Collinsworth.

Happy 50th, guys.  BTW, who's picking up the check tonight down in Tampa?  Bob Costas?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/26/09

Keith is spending the week in Tampa. Three guesses why. (I forgot to tell you MMMMMMMMookie that the first two didn't count!)

The Tie:
Pink. Very apt for Florida, Clearwater's nice this time of year.

Number 5:
So much for bipartianism. The GOP will hold the stimulus plan hostage and John McCain wants strings attached, claiming that the Democrats wrote the damn thing. President Obama's warning after a meeting tomorrow, plenty of companies including Caterpillar, Sprint-Nextel and Home Depot are slashing jobs. Also, Tim Geitner was confirmed 60-34 to be treasury secratary, and The Governator praised the new man in charge to put California as exempt from the new Federal regulations on car milage. Richard Wolffe is here to explain what the damn hell is going on.

Oh the right wing water carriers as they damn the planed stimulai plan, and those on the really far side like Comedian Rush Limbaugh claiming "eternal power" for the Democrats, by not doing much. Jonathon Alter joins us to anaylise this mess and seperate whacko right wingers like Limbaugh from the rest of the herd. Even noted online poker player Bill Bennett claims Rush was way out of bounds on this.

Number 4:
61* former prisioners from Gitmo are out, but 18 are still alleged. For the 245 still there, no case files scattered through all over the Executive Branch. Matthew Alexander joins us to speak about this.

* - Another lie brought to you by the Adolph XLIII W. is for Whitewash Legacy crapfest.

It was George Green's patent for the dentists drill given a patent 124 years ago. At the Pittsburgh Zoo, Rocky the Bear picked the home team. And at Mexico City, tip toe through the virtual tulips while going under the knife.

Best Persons: 3 - Bye bye Phil Alongi. 2 - Is that 44 bars of deodorant down your pants or are you happy to see me? 1 -
Bill Kristol and the New York Times are divorced because he'll do a monthly column for The Washington Post.

Musical Segue:
No harm, no foul, no blood in the lyrics...

Number 3:
Obama tells all on the rule on law on Spywatch. And Prof. Jonathon Turley rejoins us for more on the old programs that were run from Room 612A at AT&T in San Francisco. And Turdblossom was supoenaed to testify in fromt of Congress, and Obama will tell Adolph XLIII what to do with "executive privlidge."

Still Bushed!: 3 - Obama called out GOPers echoing Limbaugh. Just shut the fuck up. 2 - Fredo is walking toward a propellor on DoJ saying they were authorized. 1 -
More Gitmo: Look who's fighting to keep it open... Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) from the far, far right wing whacko section of the GOP.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Ashamed Native Philadelphian Michelle Malagong Malkin, Comedian Rush Limbaugh and Sean Inanity are officially P\/\/N3D by Robert Reiiiiiiichhhhhhhhhh!
Silver - Citigroup bought a $50M plane from the $45B in Bailout money. Daddy, what did you do in the big house during the bailout? UPDATE: On Tuesday (1/27), Citigroup cancelled the plane order.
Gold - The ex-Lehman Brothers CEO sold his mansion for $100. To his wife. And there was no fee.

Number 1:
Senator Oprah? That's what Blago wanted first off. He went on the daytime talk show circut on Day One of his Illinois Impeachment trial. I'd love to tell you more, but I have a pie in the oven that needs to be taken care of, anmd WWE Raw's coming up, so I'm calling it a night. BTW, please pray for my mom as she is ill and in the hospital.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Promotional Announcement

Keith's interview with The New York Times on C-SPAN is being run tonight at 8 PM and 11:15 PM.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/23/09

The Tie: Brown, cream and black stripes.

Number 5: Russell Tice's exclusive interview now breaking walls at NSA. Last night on Hardball, Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D-W Va.) said that he heard nothing. No answer from the office. Former NSA Director Gen. Michael Hayden was asked about this and did not answer anything in ATT's Room 641A in Frisco. The Obama White House named David Chris to run the DoJ National Security Division, which he left while Adolph XLIIl was in charge. Rep. Stephen Cohen (D-Tenn.) joins us and says Congress will investigate. The Republicans and right wing whacko water carrying members likie Weinersavage, Orally and Limbaugh will call it "a witch hunt", I call it "restoring justice" and "the represervation of the sanctity of the American home."

Sounds like Watergate? Herr Goebles Cheney served under Nixon and did all this, so we ask John Dean, and and he replies. Also, the ACLU has filed suit over the 2008 FISA laws, and they could win.

Number 4: "We won". With that, President Obama met with leaders from Congress and after the laundry list of complaints from the GOP, the Democrats said that Obama won, and we're all in this together, but Rep. Bohner (R-Ohio) said that they needed tax breaks (for the filthy rich) not condoms. This from a man who spells his name B-O-H-N-E-R. Howard Fineman's here to play the game.

Oddball: Happy Birthday Ann Sothern, of "My Mother the Car". In Miami Beach, elderly seniors on safe sex via claymation. Worst. Idea. Ever. More animal on media violence, this time by Lester Holt and a puppy looking for blood. Cujo much?

Still Bushed!: 3 - They didn't like Conzi Rice at The State Department. Wicked Bitch of the West. 2 - Missing from the VA under the Adolph XLIII administartion, miscounting patients when there are those 25 K Vets. 1 - A guy who we let go from Gitmo and went to work in Saudi Arabia wanted in bombing with Al Qaeda in Yemen. He was released by Adolph XLIII in 2007. Fail.

Number 3: Blago shoots his mouth off the Cowboy way. He mixed Pearl Harbor up, and from distortion to extortion to dillusion, and claimed it like a western fil-um, and says if a cowboy stole a horse, in town, and was on the ranch, herding caddle, the charges stick. Margaret Carlson's here to clear up the confusion that is Blago. We also look at how Sweet Caroline (Bom-bom-bom!) Kennedy got trashed in her attempt for New York's Senate seat vacated by Hilary by the Governor there and instead how a conserative, pro-gun Democrat was picked. The race is on for 2010...

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Glenn Beck's off to a flying start at Fixed Noise, and says Obama wasn't sworn in with a bible the second time around. John Quincy Adams, Teddy Roosevelt and LBJ didn't use one either.
Silver - The Murdoch Street Journal wants more torture. Yeah...Jack Bauer rule? What show is he on and what guy owns the network and produces the show?
Gold - Dick Morris from Fixed Noise notes that Treasury Secratary-designate Geitner didn't pay $34K in taxes. Dick Morris in the hole for $3M in taxes.

Number 1: Good news: Obama got his Blackberry back. Bad news: It was rebuilt by the NSA, and comes with a classified e-mail address. Meanwhile at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, there's old computer software, no outside email, and no Facebook or MySpace. Jose Antonio Vargas is with us from The Washington Post to tell us it's a "Bat Berry." Holy communication devices, Batman!

Have a great weekend, at least I have a pay-as-you-go cell phone.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/22/09

Ten days until the Steelers and Cardinals meet in Super Bowl XLIII.

The Tie: Black, white and tan stripes.

Number 5:
As expected, President Obama signed the Gitmo closures as of January 22, 2010, and also oredered the closure of the private CIA prisons. All 245 suspects will be examined for war crimes trials, and Sen. Corum doesn't want them in Texas. Robert Gibbs, the news press secratary, says our security will not be compromised. Meanwhile, Rich Holdbrook will be the envoy for Afganistan and Pakistan, wile George Mitchell will oversee Mideast peace talks, and Hilary wants everyone to think outside the box. Andera Mitchell says Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) will replace Hilary in the Senate. Richard Wolffe joins us with both feet on the ground running to review the first 48 hours.

Military leaders included Maj. Gen. Paul D. Eaton, USA (Ret.) was a witness to the history and joins Keith to tell us what he knows about the whole Gitmo mess.

This explains the Number 4 Story in a nutshell.

Number 4: The picture above explains what Herr Goebles Cheney said about Scooter Libby, about having to have been pardoned. Watergate survivor John Dean comments. With friends like Scotter, Fredo, Dana and Turdblossom, who in the fucking hell needs enemies?

In 1947, KTLA-TV signed on and one guy's still on the job. A frozen lake finds Biscuit the dog on an ice floe literally putting the Biscuit in the basket, thanks to the Indianapolis Fire Department. And in the Australian Open, smashes to the head of ballpersons.

Best Persons:
3 - Nancy Charlez looked like a $20K winner... and was robbed. She called it "bull[shit]." 2 - Billo The Clown is going Paul Revere. Thanks for not changing your name, and stealing former Fixed Noise host John Gibson's material. 1 - Unnamed red light runner in Phoenix caught under moving van. Now he has a bad back and a visit to the big house infirmary.

Musical Segue:
The lyrics (not the title) said "Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide." Should have been Martha Reeves and the Vandellas if you ask me.

Number 3:
Night Two of the alligations on the NSA's watch on everyone, including the media, as Russell Tice returns to tell all, and Lawrence Wright's daughter was wrapped up in this mess. The NSA was unavailable for comment, and the Obama White House will blow whistles.

Number 2: James Risen of The New York Times joins us to confess that he's being watched.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Gonzo is still clueless at the Bush farewell party in El Paso Tuesday. 2 - Halliburton on death by electricution of an Army sergant taking a shower was neglicent homicide. 1 - As we were detaining them in Gitmo and Europe, but there may be a lawsuit to come though.

Number 1: Worst Persons in the World, The JFein Makes A Prediction Edition Picking Comedian Rush Limbaugh FTW (First time it's been numbero uno ever!)
- John Gibson says that while minding his biz and MSNBC's boss comes to the house, and it's a twisted member of the network and they went smart.
- Sorry, JFein, but Limbaugh interviewed by Inanity with the racism stuff on President Obama. Hey, Rush, say Hi to Michael Weinersavage.
Gold - John Fein, CEO of Merrill Lynch paying out bonuses for CEO's, and a million dollar makeover of his office, all with bailout money from Bank of America, and we demand a refund. He was sacked today.

I'll catch you tomorrow...without an expensive three-handled moss covered family credenza.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/21/09

Once again, Keith reports from Washington tonight, this time from the MSNBC Bureau. Starting tonight, we will no longer count the days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, as that is the "legacy" of a former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC. Otherwise, there's 11 days left until Super Bowl XLIII, 23 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring training and 73 days until Opening Night in Philadelphia.

The Tie: Purple.

Number 5: The oath of office was botched by John Roberts, was retaken in the Map Room of The White House for President Obama, and so much for bi-partian stuff. Eric Holder's nomination for Attorney General will be held up for a week thanks to ancient Senator Arlen Spector (he of the magic BS theorum), and meanwhile, with Hilary Clinton becoming Secratary of State, Sweet Caroline Kennedy was withdrawn her name from consideration for Senate duties. Eugene Robinson is back from his day off, and good times won't feel so good, mostly due to her Uncle Ted's health concerns. They also touch base with Texas Sen. John Corum, the head of the Republican Senate fundrasising and why he held up Hilary's nomination

Meanwhile, within a year, Gitmo will close, along with Neal Cuthall being named deputy of the cases, and the rehiring of one who was fired for political loyality to the Democrats. Prof. Jonathon Turley joins us in studio and explains this.

Number 4: Day One P. I. (Post Inauguration) of the Obama journey. In fixing the country, he read the note from Adolph XLIII, and getting to work on the Middle East, then a paryer service, and Tim Geitner apologized for the taxes. Finance Committee will forward it ASAP. Back at the White House, there was a military meeting getting out of Iraq, plus pay feezes for those making more than $100K on senior White House staffers. Gwen Ifill from NewsHour with Jim Lehrer and Washington Week in Review joins us on this subject, and goes deeper into the SCOTUS Chief Justice screwup and do over. The bad news? Twelve more balls and a dozen more dances to "At Last."

Oddball: The ACLU founder was born on this date. In Wales, household chores with scuba ladies. In Ft. Lauderdale, dumb criminals steal from The Spy Store. Smile, you're on Not-So-Candid Camera!

Still Bushed!: 3 - It's a final, how much time off? 1,020 days. Write the jokes. 2 - Farewell on the closing out bash, and according to, it was cold! "The finest group of people ever to work for a President. ..." Soon to have numbers instead of names. 1 - Manfred Norach said that we have the right to punish those who violated Geneva Convention rights. Mr. Norach, a Austrian, and in the UN, said this in Germany.

Number 3: This next item is enough to raise your hackles to higher levels as it were. We get the inside story on the "legal" wiretapping from former NSA employee Russell Tice that includes. ... Targeting certain non-terrorists living in America from Room 641A at AT&T in San Francisco, circumventing court ordered warrents. All of us. Even journalists. And this was no Jack Webb Dragnet thing, either, going 24/7/365. Another interview tomorrow.

At this point, my computer decided to - for a lack of a better word - go carzy-go-nuts on me, so I apologize for the early bailout, but here's the rest of the show...

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Billo The Clown rips into Newsday ownership, which also owns the New York Knicks. BTW Bill, both Countdown AND Campbell Brown over on CNN kicked your sorry @$$ Monday (1/19) in The Money Demo.
Silver - A mom was tossed from a Frontier Airlines flight, arrested for terrorism...spanking her kids.
Gold - Chris Wallace, Mike's son, didn't think Obama was President until he took the botched oath of office, but it says "12 noon, January 20th after the Presidential election."

That's it for me, and hopefully, the computer will behave tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

At Last: Let's Dance At The Live Inaugural Balls Blog

Well, President Obama and the First Lady are dancing to "At Last" at each of the ten Inaugural Balls (and no, we aren't talking about bowling balls, or those balls that you speak of in the gutter), so let's join Rachael Maddow, Chris "Tweety" Matthews, Keith and Eugene Robinson for our live blog coverage of the big night at The Ten Proms. Party now, and tomorow (1/21) we begin the long work back.

Analyzing the day's events, we have regained the immigration title with the town in Kenya where Obama's father was born, and an African-American with a name that sounds Arabic sends messages out to other countries, and even as I type this there's about thirty or forty fans left at the National Mall. Tweety says more African-Americans watch MSNBC, and they're big in Cairo accoring to Rachael. Whaddya mean, Brazil?

Having already been at the Neighborhood, Obama Home States (Illinois and Hawai'i) and Commander in Chief events, our next stop is MTV's Youth Inaugural Ball. Did anyone remember when MTV ran music videos? *liver spots explode on the back of his hands* "Dahling, sit down an let me tell you about god damn music videos..." I feel like Billy Crystal saying that.
Updating Ted Kennedy's condition, it was fatiuged due to his brain cancer we spoke of earlier. And it's nice to know that Meet The Press' David Gregory likes the First Couple's dancing. Meanwhile, let's go to the Mid-Atlantic Ball where Vice President Biden and his wife, Jill, are speaking. And lo and behold, the President and First Lady have arrived at the Youth Ball, and Obama speaks. He's been looking forward to this ball for some time, and what started out as a improble journey became a dream come true thanks to the youth.

And the Bidens have moved onto the Western States Ball. And The Obamas will be at the Biden Home Staes (Pennsylvania and Delaware) Ball momentarily... Meanwhile, Chris Kofinis, the Democratic startegy man, joins us to tell us how the Democratic Congress and our new Democratic President will get along on why thias idea is the way to go and use the grassroots people to pressure both the Dems and the Republicans.

One hour to go, and they missed another dance, and it happens on delayed digital video devices, and now live they're at Biden's Bash. Dance time...the turn was old school as stated at the Youth Ball. Wait for it...there it is. Department of Redundant Redundancy Department, and Rachael's examaing their moves and attire. It really does take a village (idiot and Lois Griffin married one.) Someone get Bob Grossbeard from Quahog Oil on this.

So, what can we expect in the first hundred days of the Obama honeymoon? Well on Day 84, the Phillies will be at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He'll get an autographed ball, a cap, a jersey with "OBAMA 44" on the back... Meanwhile, it's off to the Mid-Atlantic Ball, and we know the drill: Speak about change in a different way, dance to "At Last" including the turn, and say goodbye and head off to the next event. As a female collegue told Keith "All women want to see President Obama dance with the First Lady." And Gene says they have to do it ten times. Six down, four to go, Miss Arlene Francis?

Thompson Reuters reports that tribunials at Gitmo will be suspended for 120 days in the first Executive Order, and then it will close in all likelihood. Stay tuned for more Executive Orders to come within the next few days. And at the Western States event, the band and color guard are now in place awaiting the Obamas drill. Speak about change, dance, old school twirl, and say TTFN: ta ta for now. Also, Chuck Todd reports that there will be a champagne toast after the last ball. Next stop is the Midwest party. Seven down, three to go, Bennett Cerf?

And because all the regional balls are in the Convention Center, it's off to the Midwest Ball right next door. Speak about change, dance with the First Lady to "At Last" (including the old-school twirl) and say goodnight. Eight down, two to go, Miss Dorothy Killgallen? Let's move back to the Gitmo story which according to AP now says that military lawyers would like a suspension.

We wrap it up with a recap from tonight's Countdown. See you tomorrow, when the Official Day One begins.

Countdown Live Blog: 1/20/09, The Inauguration Day Edition

No time for numbers tonight. I slept like a baby today. Missed my live blog of the daytime events.

The Tie: Navy, gray and white.

This was the most important day in the history of our country, all 232 years old of it. Barack Husein Obama was inaugurated as the Forty-fourth President of The United States of America.

"On this day, we gather" to hear our new leader to recognize that "we have duties but seize gladly." Echoing people such as Abaham Lincoln, JFK and as much as even FDR, the hopes and fears of he next four years, mending fences, and restoring the mess left by his predicessor. At a post-inaugural luncheon, Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) suffered a seizure and Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W. Va.) could not eat properly. Howard Fineman anaylizes with whomever is left over at the National Mall. We're happy to report that Mr. Kennedy was okay, and this will be part of his future of his recovery from brain cancer.

Former Dictator Adolph XLIII is gone and left on time. Back home in Texas, along with Fredo and Turdblossom, he said it's great to be back, and meanwhile, seven new cabinet members confirmed by the Senate except Hilary Clinton to force a roll call vote until tomorrow, and Ron Emanuel has said all Bush XLIII policies are suspended until further notice. Richard Wolffe is in the booth with Keith to comment. And yes, Adolph is among all his friends...and with friends like Fredo and Turdblossom, who needs enemas or enemies?

Don't forget, after Rachael Maddow, we'll be back with balls. Inaugural Balls, that is. A live blog of the 10 PM to Midnight coverage.

President Obama was born in 1961, such as I am, and Ken Burns joins Keith in DC tonight to give us his views on this January 20th. It was the year of 1961 during the month of June that Olbermann's beloved Yankees moved from St. Petersberg to Fort Lauderdale due to segragated housing of Elston Howard, though it didn't take effect until the spring of 1962. That same spring, another New York team took their place: The lovable 40-120 1962, Whitey Ashburn-MVP New York Mets. Don Richie won a boat, but it sank when he tried to float it. On the 1-to-10 scale of history with over 2 million, Burns gives it an 11, and formally welcomes us to te third age of this country. Now, we cut to the Neighborhood Ball, the first of ten official events to hear Obama speak, and asks how good looking is Michele Obama, our new First Lady. He thanks the people for getting him elected and each of you for what you'll do to make the country better. It's a neighborhood ball because he cut his teeth in neighborhoods. Back to Ken Burns, and the echoes of JFK and LBJ are mentioned. BTW, Jason Wu is the designer of Ms. Obama's dress and Beyonce is singing "At Last" live on "another network" as Mr. Carson used to say. BTW Ken, with John Chancellor no longer with us, who do you think we should get to narrate Baseball The Tenth Inning?

Cardboard boxes and the moving vans were at the White House, while Obama's daughters said the speech was good. Melissa Harris Lacewell is at NBC News' Washington Bureau dressed to impress to tell us the First Grandma (and first babysitter) and says hi to her seven-year-old at home in Princeton, NJ. Meanwhile, the First Sisters watched High School Musical 3 from our reports. Just the thought of a movie (not a made-for-Disney Channel-dreck) called First Babysitter sends chills up and down the spine. Back to the Neighborhood Ball, Yes We Can, Yes We Will, as long as we're all working together and on the same page in the book. Time to put the dress to good use, Ms. Lacewell.

We return to the Commander-in-Chief Ball (with that giant 500-pound Presidential Seal cheesecake) with Vice President Biden speaking. This was the March of Freedom and the end of a nightmare, and in any picture you choose, the American Dream was finally realized. We end with a recap of the day. "A cross between Woodstock and a religious pilgrimage." Flags waved on cue when Obama arriver to assume office, over one million, and Martin Luther King would have been proud of this moment, even if Chief Justice of TSCOTUS John Roberts messed up a bit on the oath. And Al Roker wanted to do an interview, Obama tells him "It's Warm" in a 15-degree wind chill. "Warm" in Chicago terms, that is.

See you in an hour.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/19/09

As Keith reports tonight from the National Mall in Washington with a bunch of his fans behind him, we have less than 20 hours until Barack Obama's inauguration, 2,081 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 13 days until the Steelers and Cardnals play in Super Bowl XLIII, 27 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training, and 76 patriotic nights until Philadelphia hosts the opening of the 2009 Major League Baseball season, with Vice President Biden to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.

The Tie: Salmon.

Number 5: Earth Shattering Breaking News: Vice President Cheney injures himself pulling a muscle in his back and will be at the Inauguartion in a wheelchair after trying to move some boxes. Ouch. Meanwhile, on Martin Luther King Day, he helped paint a shelter wall and there will be 5,000 volunteer serivce projects and the Obama mailing list will send out emails directing them, and a bunch of pre-Inaugural dinners for Biden, Colin Powell and John McCain. Jonathon Alter joins us with the crowd "making New Years Eve in Times Square look like Sunday night at the [Cornell University] library in Ithica, New York." Obama is reaching out, not like Adolph XLIII did with Ted Kennedy. The honeymoon is going to be a year long, and Obama has to score early and often like the cards did on my Eagles yestrday (1/18).

Over at the Kennedy Center during the taping of Oprah, the future Second Lady leaked out the news that he was offered either Secratary of State or the Veep. In other news, Oprah is fat. Dr. Jill Biden said to Oprah that "If you're vice president, the family can be involved." Chris Hayes of The Nation watches Oprah and joins us to anaylize this awkward moment. And upon the repeat of Cheney's injury, the crowd goes...Steam's "Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye." And good riddence!

Number 4: Obama's Inaugural Address: What will our new President speak about tomorrow? The 44th President better live up to what her daughter says. Michael Beschloss, the resident Presiential Historian joins us to tell us what we will be expecting more JFK than Honest Abe.

Oddball: On this day in 2009, the Bush XLIII presidency ended! (And a mighty roar went up from the crowd: *weak "Yay!"* Yeah, Keith, if you read this, I know all the material...) Let's liberate Paris! And there was a new King of graceland, good to know Blago got a new job. And at Legoland, there is an entire Inaugural display, complete with Lego Portapotties.

Number 3: President Obama will keep the Oval Office as is, complete with Laura Bush's rug design. reports that 20 aides are heading to the White House after the swearing in. And Adolph XLIII, about to be evicted, is having a private dinner with family for his last night. Eugene Robinson joins Keith in the booth for the overview. And they boo the rug and the guy who owned it. MSNBC is spending the promo budget on buttons, posters, everything including the kitchen sink if that happens.

Bushed!: 3 - How many metaphors of Dana Perino can be handled? What about the moving vans? They werre Ryder rentals! Here's your copy of the home version of The Lie To the Press Game. 2 - The last word on Gitmo from Herr Goebles: The worst are out. Here's your home version of The Gitmo Game. 1 - Politcal capital. I have politcal capital, and The New York Times final poll with a 73% disapproval rate. Here's your home version of The Presidency Game.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Ken Blackwell opposes the stimulus package because it would crate jobs and make the Republicans impossible to get Congress and the White House back.
Silver - Spirit Airlnes cancels a flight to Myrtle Beach, so they book Jeff Kolodjay and his party of four on US Airways Flight 1549, and the guys were going to be charged $99 for returning tickets... Can you guess what happened next? Release, rotation, splash! Into the Hudson.
Gold - Wendell Goller of Fixed Noise. "[Adolph] inherited the 9/11 attacks." After the Inauguration in January 20, 2001.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/16/09

Four days until Inauguration Day, 2,078 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 16 days until Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa, 28 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training and 79 days until Opening Night in Philadelphia.

The Tie: Gray, white, purple and black stripes.

Number 5: As of 5 PM US EST today, the Bush Administration has ended. Turn in your laptops, your Blackberrys, your "I Legalized Torture" shirts... Painters and carpet cleaners have taken over 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and Adolph XLIII has left. Meanwhile, at Capital Hill, the Senate Republicans have praised Obama's team on the TARP. Richard Wolffe is here to talk about those who apologized on voting against the rest of the $700 billion to be released.

Improving moral clarity with Eric Holder on torture, the hearings for the Attorney General designate ended today, and Prof. Jonathon Turley reminds us about the fact that yes, it is torture and the consequences that face Adolph XLIII's team.

Number 4: Obama has forgotten that his daughter said about Tuesday's big Inaugural Address "First African-American president. Better be good." Savannah Guthrie, the new NBC News White House chief reporter is at 30th Street Station here in Philly to recap the coming events. Keith has been not invited to any of them, but tune into MSNBC for a recap from 10 PM to Midnight Tuesday (1/20) to join Tweety, Rachael Maddow and Eugene Washington within.

Oddball: In 1907, Alexander Knox was born and was the consumate character actor. Clinton Township, Michigan resident has created the answer to the auto bailout, the flying saucer. And China delivers the Kick-Ass Robot of the Week: the robot rickshaw.

Best Persons: 3 - Judie Brown was outraged over a Krispy Kreme ad pun from Roe v. Wade. 2 - Nicholas, Kentucky bank moved was now water district office and forgotten by would be robber. 1 - A man got a brick of pot instead of what he wanted from Sears via UPS.

Musical Segue: Men at Work's "It's A Mistake", the closing theme of the Bush XLIII administration.

Number 3: Eight Years in Eight Minutes. The video says it all.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Ex-sportscaster Brian Killmede on Fixed and Fiends says that Carol Browner needs confirmation. Not so.
Silver - Comparing the University of Cincinnati's men's basketball team to something bad, Bill Cunningham, says there's hanging and banging at Fifth Third Arena at Shoemaker Center. WLW Radio objected, they carry UC's games.
Gold - Billo the Clown says The New York Times and NBC News led to torture. Got that clip of 24 ready? And start with Bill O'Reilly.

Number 1: Richard Lewis joins us tonight to deliver his farewell address to Adolph XLIII. They caught Herr Goebles falling asleep, and Lewis is still neuortic as ever.

I'll see you Monday. Keith will have a Special Comment on Waterboarding and the new administration from the National Mall.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/15/09

I'm doing the 10 PM Countdown tonight due to the President's farewell address.

With that, five days until the end of America's nightmare, and you can do the rest...

The Tie: Maroon, cream and navy stripes.

Number 5: Go on, guess. The farewell adress to the nation of Adolph Bush XLIII's "presidency". Many of his comments tonight in the Reader's Digest Condensed Edition were interrupted with comments like "Surely you cannot bring up waterboarding", "Tell that to the families of the over 4,000 dead soldiers and over 100,000 civilians in Iraq", or "What about those 3,000 families in New Orleans that are still living in trailers?"

Tweety (Chris Matthews) joins up for the award Adolph XLIII would have to accept with everything but another "Mission Accomplished" banner of the ideaology of taking over a country, and quoted Thomas Jefferson of which Jefferson would object. I'm sure at Montecello, Mr. Jefferson's doing a two-and-a-half pike with a twist in his grave.

Number 4: Scott McClelland rejoins us from Washington to give us his take on the speech. The man at the top (next to Keith) on Billo's Shit list as it were says that is was all bullshit, a feel good farewell speech highlighting his nonsense. So unless he wants to come out in the open and listen to his mastakes, it sounds like Charle Brown's trombone-sounding teacher and good intentions went awry against your actions.

Lo and behold, Attorney General nominee Holder says that indeed waterboarding is torture, and we learn that our leader is not above the law. DoJ will be cleaned up, and just as Arlen Spector was about to ask questions, too.

Number 3: As for the incident in New York's Hudson River near 48th Street, let's say it was nothing more than a miracle. US Airways ("Unfortunately, Still Allegheny In Reality Ways") Flight 1549 took off en route from LaGuardia toward Charlotte, North Carolina, hit a flock a geese and the pilot, Capt. Sully Sullenburger, who is the director of safety for the Airline Pilots' Union, lands prefectly into the freezing Hudson River. One passeneger was severly injured with both broken legs, and everyone survived. Robert Hager calls it just that, a miracle. And in ninety seconds as well!

Number 2: Stories coming from the survivors of the splash crash tell that there was a major crash forthcoming several minutes into the flight, and Jeff Kolodjay, one of the survivors, tells that he was on Spirit Airlines, but the flight was cancelled so they took US Airways for their annual Myrtle Beach golf trip. At WNCN-TV, the NBC affiliate in Raliegh, one of the anchor's parents was on the flight, and was relieved to hear that he survived and he thanked all those involved in the rescue.

Number 1: Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenburger III will be lauded for what he did gliding the Airbus 220 owned by US Airways and Joe Hart said "he actually floated in on the river". The former F-4 fighter in the Air Force was the last man in the river, and Denny Fitch, a former United Airlines pilot who did the same on a tarmac in Sioux City, Iowa joins us to explain his comparisons to that twenty years earlier.

Well, that's it for tonight. Obviously, there was no Oddball, Best Persons, Bushed! and Worst Persons in the World, however Richard Lewis will return tomorrow do deliver some parting shots at the Adolph XLIII Reign of Errors.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/14/09

Six days left until Inauguration Day. I'll spare you the rest for this evening.

The Tie: Black.

Number 5: "We tortured Qatani", the twentieth terrorist in 9/11, and he won't be tried. Thus the decision from The Pentagon's Susan Crawford, and thus the last known vestiage of Adolph XLIII. In an interview with The Washington Post, Ms. Crawford said that she puts the blame on former Defense Secratary Rumsfeld saying that Adolph hurt his chances of giving justice American style to the one who was not on any of the hijacked planes that day. Lt. Cmdr. Charles Swift USA (Ret.) joins us and is surprised to hear that, and isn't disagreeing with it. The Bush Gestapo is appealing such decision.

What began without responding on bombings and on justice, and Usama Bin Laden's new video arrives with that. Richaed Wollfe joins us to try to explain the whole story today. Meanwhile, Herr Cheney says it was misinformed interviewers that did it. Yeah, another three tons of bullshit in a two-ton bag.

Number 4: W. Is For Whitewash. Herr Goebles underestimated many mistakes, and the failed presidential era accoridning to Cheney said he underestimated...everything. The connection between Saddam Hussein, Al-Queda and 9/11 was muddier, and Adolph XLIII told Larry King that it was silly namecalling going on in DC. Former White House Press Secratary Scott McClellan, the name at the top of the Billo Enemies List, joins us and is as stunned as everyone else about these things. No, really.

Oddball: Say good night, kids. In Marquette, Michigan, the dog attacks family's new Wii. Ozzie is okay after accident. And in London, the BMW and a lady within were ejected after a misread.

Best Persons: 3 - Pittsburgh Steelers fan Luke Ravenstahl says his name will be Steelerstahl, wich is Steelersteel, instead of Ravenstahl. 2 - Ryan Seacrest missed a blind contestant high five on Idol. And you wonder why keit dislikes it? 1 - The Pratts had an underdraft of over $170K, and moved to Florida to buy a house. The Big House is their new home.

Musical Segue: Greetings from Florida, Wish You Were Here.

Number 3: GonzoRacistGate Day 2: Bradley Schlozman, who delivered the racist and right wing water carrying commentary via e-mail is still in the DoJ, and is at a new post, and someone will have to be appoined to look into this. Prof. Jonathon Turley joins us to tell us DoJ is indeed a toxic cesspool, and it needs to be cleaned up when Obama takes over.

Bushed!: 3 - Remember John Tanner, the guy who liked his coffee black and bitter, and left for Alabama, paid for by DoJ. Redrawing districts in Alabama. Racism. 2 - Comedian Rush Limbaugh was having lunch with Adolph XLIII, and got a cake agaped. 1 - Daddy, where were you in jail when the bailout happened? Predatory lenders have started up again to mortage those loan sharks.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Glenn Beck calls Obama "Marxist" after all of this.
Silver - Larry Schwikert will tell us Obama doesn't have a war to deal with.
Gold - Sen. James Imhoff calling someone a secret socialist, and Carol Browner said she supported the Fairness Doctorine.

Number 1: So, President-elect Obama had the enemy (conservative right wing water carrier columnists) over at George Will's place the other night for dinner. Ya know, I've love to stay and chat about it, but E. J. Dionne will tell you about it and I gotta go.

Before I do, the live blog will run tomorrow at 10 PM US EST due to the Farewell Speech of Adolph XLIII. Good night, everyone!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/13/09

One whole week untl Inauguration Day, 2,075 since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 19 days until Super Bowl XLII in Tampa, 32 days until Sping training begins for pitchers and catchers and 82 days until the Philadelphia Phillies open defense of the 2008 World [BLEEPING] Championship. Did I mention by the way that this is Night One of American Idol Season Eight V 2.0?

The Tie: Gray with white and blue crosswaves.

Number 5: Pointlessly Impeachment of Clinton II: The Charity Editon. Sen. Lugar wants Bill to stop collecting foreign gifts to The Clinton Foundation, especially those in good faith and all of them will be disclosed. And on policy, Hilary will engage not taking options off the table in a new approach to become a cornerstone of the Obama administration, and getting out of Iraq is Priority One. Jonathon Alter joins us in DC to anaylize, and says she'll use all the tools in her toolbox to her advantage.

Has it been a year since the New Hampshire Primary?

Meanwhile, back on the W. Is For Whitewash Watch, Adolph XLIII's gratitude to the final cabinet meeting (and counting down at Countdown has NEVER been this fun) leaving with his head held high (up his roodypoo candy ass.) Howard Fineman joins us for the Reader's Digest Condensed Edition of the whole story, and includes the lifers (as it were) including a slide show featuring comedic comment by Shecky Bush, appearing next week at the Chuckle Hut.

Number 4: Herr Goebels Cheney calls Gitmo "clean" and anything but a four diamond AAA resort, but he tells poker expert Bill Bennett it's okay, but says that there are ten percent of the 250 prisoners are being fed via feeding tubes due to a hunger strike. Cheney slaps Obama around on the closing, wishing he had done it on his watch. Two more tons of bullshit in a one-and-three-quarters ton bag. Chris Hayes of The Nation answers it all for you.

Oddball: Forty years tomorrow, Jason Bateman was born. FoK (Friend of Keith). Man vs. freezing in Tokyo achieving highs. And the Commander-in-Chief Ball will have a big 500-pound Presidential Seal cheesecake.

Best Persons: 3 - Pope Benedict XVI has issued a edict on Virgin Mary sightings. 2 - A German firehouse burned down in front of the fire company. 1 - Five kids in White Plains, New York steals a 50-year-old man's briefcase and then taunt the guy on his stolen cellphone without a tracer? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Musicial Segue: Take a shot, was it Leadbelly? This should have called for Raffi's "BananaPhone" sped up x2.

Number 3: GonzoGate is baaaaaack! When one of his aides tesified during the hearings for Fredo, he said that he turned an blind eye to politics and race. Until they found an e-mail with slurs and nasty comments about Democrats, it looked like this guy that was picking the wrong week to give up the Bill of Rights, smoking, drinking, the Equal Right Act, sniffing glue, uppers and the Civil Rights Act, especially when his name was Bradley Schlozman.

Bushed!: 3 - That presser yesterday? White House interns filled empty seats when attendance was underwhelming. 2 - Conzi hears that Iraq is now celebrating Christmas. Good for Iraq. 1 - W. Is For Whitewash: Appealing for money for Adolph XLIII at the RNC. Lies, bullshit, gave us an example, please?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Lou Dobbs said that Obama and Mexico's president Calderon didn't talk about NAFTA. But they did.
Silver - Insanity said that women refered to women as bitches, but Ted Nugent calling Hilary a bitch is another story. Rachael Maddow P\/\/NS YOU, INANITY!
Gold - Billo the Clown shows a clip from 24 and we're supposed to take him seriously... JACK BAUER ISN'T REAL!

Number 1: I'm waiting for SNL to bring Tina Fey back to reprise her killer Sarah Palin impression. Check that, I'm DYING to see Elizabeth Santamatina Fey return to SNL and reprise her Evil Twin Sister's impression. Fancy pagent walking and all. Palin did yet another interview, this time with Esquire Magazine saying she was indeed muzzled by the McCain campaign on subjects. You surely can't stop the snowball that is Miss Wasalia 1984, and you betcha that you can't try to contain it, either. (Sorry, Dan.) Dr. Phil, much? Yes, she can see Alaska from her house, hates bloggers (OUCH!) and the interviews with Charlie and Katie were fair, according to Mike Huckabee. Eugene Robinson speaks on behalf of the media to explain this all.

See you tomorrow. I have to cover my windows to prevent extreme chills drafting into my house for the next week.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/12/09

Eight days until the inauguration of Barack Obama, 2,074 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 20 days until Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa, 33 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training and a modest 83 days until the 2009 MLB season opens in Philadelphia.

The Tie: Purple again, but with dark blue dots.

Number 5:
And W. is for Whitewash, the exit presser. You won't have W to kick around anymore. Adolph XLIII ranged the gamut of emotions from A to D. Anger, baffled, confused and dumb, dumb, dumb. The worst White House occupant since Millard Fillmore ruining the country, and the worst modern President since Herbert Hoover, blaming Clinton (couldn't blame his dad) for the economic woes. Blames himself for "Mission Accomplished" saying much of his bullshit was a mistake (Really?) and tried to fly Air Force One responding to Katrina two days after it struck and the rest of the Katrina aftermath as well. There are 9K families in Louisiana still living in trailers, and says not finding WMDs in Iraq was "a disapointment". Like the Lions going 0-16. And he disagrees that our moral standing among our fellow world members is severly damaged. And forget hapius corpus and cue up all those 9/11 lines, destroying the Constitution and Bill of Rights in the process, rubber stamped by three Republican Congresses. And if he's more conserned about the country, he's not getting sleep every night. No gain, no pain, no brain. And what tools are legal on what is legal. Impeachment in jail?

Number 4:
More of the "W. as in Whitewash" egress PC. Forty seven minutes of nonsense, and Richard Wollfe joins us to recap the event. Adolph XLIII ignores his critics and after all the contridiction will be remembered as our worst president of our lifetime. Fauilure to bring the basics are not learned at the time, and the disapointment of Katrina. Let's call them sad statements. I say again, let's call it what it really is via The Rock: two tons of bullshit in a one and a half ton bag.

And one of the greatest senator-designate news: Senator-Designate Burris from Illinois, and he will be sworn in later this week, if the Republicans have no objcetions.

Guess what? We got a NBC Sports promo on the transition to Digital TV with Keith and Dan on Comcast!

Time to take a break from "All Adolph XLIII All the Time," but happy birthday to Comedian Rush Limbaugh, and like the horoscopes, he's not really useful. And the new light rail in Tempe, Arizona needs to be fixed. Helecopters are getting meese from Utah to Western Colorado. And in Norman, Illinois, we had marrage at Taco Bell.

Best Persons: 3 - BBWAA announced Rickey Henderson and Jim Rice as new members of the Baseball Hall of Fame. 2 - The Shady Lady brothel now giving $50 Discover Cash Cards. 1 -
Feliks Goldshtein arerested while in line to rob a bank. charles Addams did the same thing in a The New Yorker 1947!

Musical Segue: Ozzy Osbourne?

Number 3:
Gitmo will close after the inauguration, and in the wake of "What did Adolph XLIII know and what did he know about it?" Waterboarding? Adolph XLIII told Fixed Noise Sunday that it was needed. What will Obama do about it? War Crimes? Geneva Convention violations? Impeachment should have happened if the Democrats took over in 2005. Prof. Jonathon Turley joins us now to find out what is legal and what wasn't. Gestapo much?

Bushed!: 3 - "Daddy, what did you do during the bailout while in jail?" The rest of the $350 billion with strings attached to be released. 2 - W. As In Whitewash and Cheney speaks. Herr Goebles advocated war in Iraq and was schooled by an AP interviewer. She said "I wasn't responsable for it." 1 - Repainting the history of the Smithonian as 9/11 gets debunked. And the portrait in a "led to" to be deleted. We need to graffiti this portrait, and be literate.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Brit Hume again interviewing Bush XLI and Adolph XLIII and was retracted for criticizing Clinton.
Silver -
Billo defends Tiny Fey's Evil Twin again on the class on Kennedy... Take his life, please!
Gold - Joe the Plumber covers the war in the Mideast, and thinks journalists shouldn't cover wars. Listen, Sparky, we've been responsible (save Geraldo) misleading the bad guys and you're in the media, calling for self-mutilation.

Number 1: Keith gets interviewed by no less than The New York Times, but I'll spare you the details at this lovefest.

See you tomorrow. Oh, did I mention American Idol starts tomorrow (1/13)? First review on Friday (1/16) with AI diva Maria Merlito, former announcer on Make the Grade. And no, she's way beyond Princess of AI, kids.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Plans for Inauguration Day...

Here's the official plans for Keith on January 20th, accoridng to (NOTE: All times US EST)
  • Anchoring live coverage from 10 AM until 4 PM;
  • Countdown at 8 PM;
  • Coverage of the Inaugural Balls from 10 PM to midnight.

I'll have some of the afternoon coverage, Countdown and the Inaugural Balls livebloged for you that day, so make plans to join me at about 2 PM. In addition, coverage wll be seen in movie theatres around the country, check for more. If you thought the forthcoming Monsters vs. Aliens 3-D event was gonna be fun, wait until you see Keith and Tweety on a three-story tall movie screen.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/9/09

Only 11 days until Inauguration Day, 2,071 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 23 days until Super Bowl XLIII, 36 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training, and a modest 86 days until the first pitch of the 2009 Major League Baseball season starts at 8:10 PM US EDT in Philadelphia.

The Tie: tan, brown and cream stripes.

Number 5: On the one hand, Obama will not torture, and on the other, a counterterrorism expert who wants torture like stuff. President-Elect says there will be no torture and abide by the Geneva Conventions. Meanwhile, as unemployment at an high since September of 1993, Obama is pushing for the stimulus plan pushed forward. Paul Krugman has better ideas, and Obama may apply them. Craig Crawford deciphers the intel for us.

Will Obama look for war crimes on Adolph XLIII to appoint someone to look at this? In a FAQ section at the Obama Transition webpages (,) Veep-elect Biden says that it's up to the Justice Department, and we're welcoming John Dean to give us his intake.

Number 4: Blagogate. Impeached Governor of Illinois by a vote of 114-1, and the trial will start soon, and Blago does a song, does a dance, everything but the seltzer down the pants. Blago won't resign and in a ten-minute Dennis Miller rant without the f-bombs the former comic and blasts the House and Senate to fight for families, perscription drugs from Canada, preventive female healt care, and a teenager who had a liver transplant. Are they impeachable offenses? And not one comment about selling Obama's senate seat, and another poetry slam with "Anyone for Lord Alfred Tennyson?" On Burrisgate, the new senator will wait until Jesse White will sign a seperate paper...wasn't he the original Maytag Repairman?

Oddball: Anne Nixon Cooper was born 107 years ago today. bless you. has this contest. Buzz Bizinger takes on a baby Mangino. (UPDATE: Baby Mangino won.) In Germany, the weather is calling for party cloudy with a chance of kitty litter. And there's battery power on bikes in Beijing, and just like the Times Square New Years Eve 2009 sign!

Bushed!: 3 - "Daddy, where why were you in jail when the bailout happened?" Where did all the money go? 2 - Straight out of 1984 has been a new Neo-Con-Job. Iraq has never been worse. 1 - Torture drinks coffee and before passing out and is on a plane moving him from country to country...and tried and given bad eveidence and is jailed indefinately. Emanuel Seltzer kidnapped from London and in a KGB jail in Belarus. For diabetic medicines, and other ailments that they call illegal. Inspired by Adolph XLIII!

Number 3: The George W. Bush Library will have a debate center, and then in his last policy speech (in Philadelphia, no less) the White House of Adolph XLIII in W. Is For Whitewash, he pulls his Jerry Coleman/Ralph Kiner act reading off a note. Three thousand dropouts, lower test scores, and "No Child Left Behind" liberating Iraq, Iran and idiots...and Obama and those in Afganistan. Like The Gaza Strip, and Lebanon for Hezbalah, and liberating Madoff and others, and 2.5 million Americans from their jobs, the Dow down 20%, and mortages down 18%! January 20, 2009 at 12 noon US EST can't come soon enough.

Number 2 (Worst Person In The World)
Bronze - The Two students not to be late for school, steal a car.
Silver - Fredo is looking for private sector. And he wants to be Commissioner of Major League Baseball. Noooooooo!
Gold - Glenn Beck makes noise on Fixed Noise. Communist self-hate thing saying Democrats are commies. Check your sanity in at the door.

Number 1: When you are being interviewed by a right wing filmmaker, especially when the website for this film he's doing reads, right there on the screen at said website and you're Elizabeth Santamatina Fey's Evil Twin Sister...then you're spinning the media frenzy in your direction and blaming others. And did she really call Keith "EVIL" after seeing his picture? Oh, you betcha! Paul F. Tompkins joins us to LOL at this.

Well, that's all for this week. See you sometime this weekend...or Monday.