Monday, August 31, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/31/09

The Tie: Navy, maroon and Vegas Gold stripes.

Number 5: Kill The Bill. That's the Good Oldboysandgirls Party new stance by four of their Senators. Meanwhile, in a letter on Saturday night read at Ted Kennedy's grave called for access to health care for all, and earlier in the day, his grandson Max delivered the same message in a prayer. Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said that Ted had to compromise on it, and Sen. Bennett and Barasso (R-UT and WY) and Grasslie (R-IA) want to beat "Obama Care". Gov. Patrick (D-MA) will hold state elections on January 19, and Ted's widow will not serve as interim replacement. Lawrence O'Donnell repeats what has been said.

Who will be the next senator from Back Bay? Mama Bear Arianna Huffington joins us to throw darts at the bulls eye.

Number 4: Herr Goebles, The Ayatollah Dickheadcheney, went on Fixed Noise Sunday this past weekend, and says that the Obama administration (defending his enhanced interrogation techniques torture in the process) should be allowed to break the laws. Pot, kettle. Mr. Black would like to see you. Cheney didn't know who was in charge of the CIA end, either. The Adolph XLIII Gestapo approved everything and are immune to it. Raise his terrible level from red to maroon. Jeremy Scahill from The Nation rejoins us to read into the tea leaves.

Oddball: Frederic March was born 112 years ago yesterday. In Beijing, an assistant to a guy who dissapears into stuff. In India, pole pillow fighting.

Best Persons: 3 - Robert F. McDonnell, and his thesis claims that women in the workplace bad. 2 - Rear Adm. Gregory J. Smith sacks Rendon Group. 1 - Rep. Pete Olsen (R-TX) had a story about Brittney, and then it was a lie. And man, was he corrected by the Democratic Protesters in the crowd.

Musical Segue: "Do Re Mi" by Mary Martin in The Sound of Music.

Number 3: More Fun With Far Right Wingnuts Gone Carzy: Rep. Lynn Jenkins (R-KS) supported a pardon for Jack Johnson, whose opposition was "the Great White Hope" when she didn't know what it meant. Oops! Meanwhile, that douchenozzle who told three-time WPitW winner Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) claimed that he meant to call himself a extremist, not terrorist. Stay Classy, sir. And in Texas, Debra Medina is running for governor in the Lone Star State, and she - like Rick Perry - wants Texas to leave the USA. She claims that there's going to be a war. Clarence Page, where the hell are their marbles?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Betsy McCollugh went on CNBC to lie her brains out on the health care bill. Why?
Silver - Pat Boone claims that cancer cells as "miniture Darth Vaders from Star Wars". Claims it's liberalism.
Gold - Michael Schuler went on ClusterFixed and Fiends to claim terrorism is going to happen. Traitor.

Number 1: Oh, Professor Harold Hill, you never fail to let all of us down. Misspelled words, misquoting others, and as paranoid as usual. Oligarcy, Teddy Roosevelt "speak softly and carry a big stick", Shakespeare's rolling over in his grave LHMFAO at you and misquote him, too. And in the midst of losing over 50 advertisers, too. This czar business began with Nixon, then Reagan. Next time, get your facts straight.

BTW, I'm still looking for a replacement for the recently resign JFein, just contact me at, and I'll see you tomorrow night.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I've Decided to Hang This Sign Out Again...

Since JFein resigned as of last night (and his post blasting Keith has been deleted as a result) I'm hanging the sign out for a new pinch-hitter while I'm away.

Contact me at if you want to fill in. Until then, if I ain't here, there'll be no live blog.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/27/09

The Tie: Rust, yellow, black and cream stripes.

Number 5: The crowds have waited hours to say their farewell to Sen. Edward Kennedy at his brother's Presidential Library in Boston. A private mass at Cape Cod, then an 80-plus motorcade to Boston. Andrea Mitchell reports from the state capital of Massachusetts.

And who will fill the seat that now stands vacant, now that a interim senator will be named? The law needs to be change by the Democrats, and Gov. Deval Patrick will fill in the story. Howard Fineman, what can you tell us?

Number 4: There is a Twitter feed now on the vigil from the Kennedy family, and then there is the whole health care he fought for. Sen John McCain (R-AZ) was asked about the possible spark on the whole enchilada, and slammed him. He's willing to cross party lines, and the members of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party voted against it, and then the public option as well. Lawrence O'Donnell joins us to dissect this like a frog in biology class.

Oddball: Krakatoa, East of Java blew up in 1883. Craig Kilborn and the 1969 movie producer flunked geography. Krakatoa was actually northwest of Java. A Chinese woman has kung fu nunnery. And before she cut her head, she pulled eight cars with her locks. London Zoo's female gorilla population has a photo of a French gorilla coming soon.

Best Persons: 3 - The Murdoch Street Journal had a conflict with Mark Penn. 2 - Steve Inskeep of NPR didn't fall for Michael Steele Sieve's trap. 1 - A AstroTurf conservative group is suspending their health care ad campaign due to the death of Sen. Kennedy.

Musical Segue: The Chairman of the Board's "The Best is Yet To Come."

Number 3: Say hello to Rep. Lynn Jenkins (R-KS) who had a faux pas on the wording of "The Great White Hope" and was unaware about the traditional GOP white person seven months into Obama's presidential term. Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) said it was a Freudian slip and apologized, and oh here we go...

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Skeezix attacked MSNBC as paranoid and racist. Pot, kettle.
Silver - Professor Harold Hill's 46-sponsorless attack has him hiding and said he'll be stronger. And watch MSNBC, he says, for a terrible event.
Gold - Those douchenozzles of Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) are now on videotape. Now all of those involved are making up lies about it.

Number 1: Mis Wasilla 1984 stood up another group in Alaska after praising Prof. Harold Hill, and meanwhile, embattled Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) is now possibly Hiking The Old Impeachment TrailSM by avoiding the possible impeachment by holding a presser, and Christian Finnegan delivers the punchline, thank you.

And don't forget (weather permitting here in Philly), JFein will be in for me tomorrow night. I'll see you on Monday (8/31).

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/26/09

Tonight will be a bit different as per the passing of Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-MA), so there will be no Oddball, Best or Worst Persons.

The Tie: Black.

Number 5: "The Lion Is Gone." The headline of an extra edition of The Boston Herald posted this morning after the passing of Sen. Edward Moore Kennedy. For 47 years, he served the state of Massachusetts in the Senate, and President Obama will deliver the eulogy this Saturday at the funeral, and burial will be near his two brothers, John and Bobby at Arlington National. And across both parties, the tears and remembrances were flowing. We get Brian Williams on location from Hyannasport from the compound. In his letter to the governor of that state, Sen. Kennedy asked that the laws be changed so that there will be an interim nominee to take his place. A friend of the lion, Mike Barnicle joins us also at the compound for his memories.

Number 4: The battle of health care reform preoccupied Ted Kennedy before he even entered the Seante. Lost the same battle four times, and named President Obama as his successor in the war. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) remembers the reforms that Sen. Kennedy brought about. As the 44th President said "I'll do it for Teddy."

One year ago today, Sen. Kennedy delivered a speech at the Democratic National Convention in Denver, and in bonus footage from Chris Matthews' Kennedy Brothers special, Bob Shurm, Kennedy's press secretary, recalled the event saying that he would not say three sentences at Pepsi Center. It actually brought tears to his eyes.

Number 3: Ken Burns was topped 365 days ago, that not even a kidney stone would stop Sen. Kennedy for his introductory film. He joins Keith to share his memories. The senator's memoirs, True Compass will be published next month.

Number 2: Lawrence O'Donnell joins us for his memories about Sen. Kennedy, and the legacy he leaves behind.

Number 1: Michael Beschloff answers the question on wether or not Ted was the greatest of all three Kennedy brothers.

As for us, it will be back to the regular format tomorrow night.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/25/09

The Tie: Pink, cream and lavender stripes.

Number 5: Herr Goebles issued a statement that Enhanced Interrigation Techniques waterboarding and torture did work on al Qaeda, denouncing the decision by DoJ and the CIA to investigate this. One of those that was investigated was asked 183 times, and nearly died. And needless to say the least., Rep. Conyers and Sen. Leahy agreed that an investigation and Special Prosecutor is needed. John Siften from The Daily Beast joins us for his view. And Jonathon Turley then joins us to examine what's next.

umber 4: Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) continues to lie about opposing the Public Option because "there has to be options" and a decendent of Ike said he'd take a gun to "Hitler". Michael Steele Sieve said Medicare has to be cut and Sen. Tom Colburn (R-OK) had no heart. Just like The Tin Man. Chris Hayes from The Nation discovers nothing.

Oddball: 100 years ago, Michael Reddy was born. Remember him in "The Day The Earth Stood Still"? Spanish snail races. "Look at that escargo!" In Tokyo, the world's biggest origami event was held.

Best Persons: 3 - Simon Holden stole beer and went to apply to the same store. 2 - The Pentagon will interview those to those embedded. 1 - Skeezix went out on MSNBC and mentioned the Toledo Mud Hens.

Musical Segue: "All I Want To Do Is Dream" by The Everly Brothers.

Number 3: A Special Report on the United Health Group, who stands to make lots of money if and when the Public Option is deleted. Video later.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Prof. harold Hill attacked on his comments about "racist" Obama comments.
Silver - Former beauty contestant Grethcen Carlson missed a lot of the appointees.
Gold - Matt LaVoi, spokesperson for Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) who criticized a guy for being proud to be a "far right wing terrorist", and dubbed it "satire". What a troika of douchenozzles.

Number 1: Death Panels, death book, death spam, and now: ZOMBIES! Yes, the Good Oldboysandgirls Party might be going to the zombies page of their nut gathering book on health care reform. Braaaaaaaainssss... Shawn of the Dead? Max Brooks will now tell more. You might know his father, Mel Brooks, he of Spaceballs, The Producers and Young "Frahn-ken-steen"...

As for Comedian Boss Limbaugh, what a maroon! See you tomorrow.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/24/09

The Tie: Maroon with cream micropindotsTM.

Number 5: A federal judge released the papers of the Adolph XLIII Gestapo on torture, and there will be a Special Prosecutor named John Brennan, the same John Brennan who approved mock executions, death threats, abuse worse than the enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding, but there will be no prosicution of Herr Goebles Cheney? Jane Mayer fron The New Yorker explains it all... and Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, USA (Ret.) follows with his insight.

Number 4: The Good Oldboysandgirls Party that has The Madness of the Sen. Charley Grassley (R-IA) said that he responded to a question of used by President Obama who rebuted it. Sen. John McCain rebuted his running mate Miss Wasilla 1984, and Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) shot it down, and Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-) will use fillibuster (I hardly knew her!) proofing. Lawrencve O'Donnell, shadowboxing won't work.

Oddball: It was on this date in 1980, Keith ran into that MTA Route 7, which led to Dr. Renee Richards' operation. No, not that one. Ich Bien Ein Berlino, into Melanie Brown's piggyback ride. Also in Germany, Markus Schmidt popped the question stacking 150 bales of hay.

Best Persons: 3 - Cresole, England mayor Ian Stafford was caught wearing purloined ladies' panties. 2 - Nicolle Wallace an aide on Adolph XLIII's color coded system movement by Tom Ridge and is a wuss. 1 - Sen. Joe Lieberman said Alec Baldwin should run against him for Senate.

Musical Segue: "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" by A-RETH-A!

Number 3: Death Panels. Death Book. Death Spam...lovely Spam, wonderful Spam! (Monty Python joke!) The joke that is the GOP is at this hour reaching for straws. Fixed News actor Chris Wallace (whose father, Mike will give a talking to, in, say... 60 Minutes) told all about the "death book" from the VA used and dated by the Adolph XLIII Gestapo from The Murdoch Street Journal from Jim Tomey's Faith and Values department on euthanasia. Soundtrack by The Grateful Dead? Eugene Robinson will pull the plug on this in 3...2...1...!

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Skeezix is confused on health care.
Silver - And Prof. Harold Hill is back from vacation suspension now without 33 advertisers, and again pushing the tsars/czars commie crap.
Gold - Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) said that a visitor to a proud terrorist, and said "God bless you." What a pair of douchenozzles.

Number 1: It's official. Michael Jackson's death was murder. The update from Gerald Posner that it was indeed Jacko's personal doctor.

See you tomorrow night.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

It Happens Like Clockwork...

Once every 87 years, we get a game-ending triple play. Chase Utley had the day off, so Eric Bruntlett filled in, and it happened: (Video

BTW, the Phils won 9-7. And if MLB pulls this, here's the official link, but with the Mets announcers crying.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/21/09

The Tie: Navy, silver and white stripes

Number 5: Tonight's update on Public Option in the Health Care Debate: Rep. Stenny Hoyer (R) is in wait-and-see mode while Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) will call for majority rule, and Good Oldboysandgirls Party chairman Michael Steele Sieve challenged President Obama to pass the bill. Clarence Paige, your newspaper is selling the Cubs, now how do you feel about today's news? And Melissa Harris-Lacewell sells us on the poll numbers showing President Obama losing support on everything in this.

Number 4: Adolph spent 1/3 of that Gestapo on vacation, and an AstroTurf group is mocking Obama's upcoming Cape Cod break. Adolph was on vacation August 6, 2001 when the memo about a possible attack on the World Trade Center and The Pentagon were given to him. Yes, he ignored it. More below.

Best Persons: 3 - Inanity continues the fraud of Spenser Baccus (D-MO) for the incorrect on Social Security. 2 - Challiss McAffee has a big list of charges when lying on a gun-happy GOP guy. 1 - Michele Bachman (R-MN DWARF PLANET PLUTO) is now pro-choice on her body.

Musical Segue: I could not get it all.

Number 3: Tom Ridge's story about raising the threat level in the Adolph XLIII Gestapo by Herrs John Ashcroft and Donald Rumsfeld the night before the election are recounted, and in separate statements released by those two, was told by Ashcroft to start using emergency duct tape, and Rummy quoted Osama bin-Laden. Ridge disagrees. The updated Nexus of Politics and Terror follows.

Number 2: Prof. Jonathan Turley is here to review what the story is all about.

Number 1 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Andrew Malcom was mad about The Los Angeles Times misplacing MSNBC's airing times of Countdown, and has gone to old GOP stalking points.
Silver - Tom DeLay continues to tap dance as a victim of a town hall meeting...while he was in Washington.
Gold - Betsy McCoy, the paid medical schill resigned of Cantel Medical. In reality, they released her upon agreeing to terms. They wished her well in her future endeavors. /WWE'd.

And my future endeavors will entail taking the weekend off. See you Monday.

Why The Mets Are Still The Laughingstock Of All Baseball

The Mets will honor their 1969 World Series championship team at Shitty Field tomorrow (8/22) before choking against the Phillies. The first 25,000 fans will recieve a special T-shirt. What makes it so special? Check the number on the shirt:


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/20/09

The Tie: Lavender/purple.

Number 5: President Obama went Dick Solomon on us with the "belt and suspenders" and used this to place an image on the GOP.

The 44th Presidenty told the DNC that there's no illegal immigrant clause, death panel or socialism takeover, and for the B&S, reform is the belt, the public option is the suspenders, and will try to get the Republicans to attempt to side with him on this. One of them, Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) wants no public option, and scaling back on the teabaggers protests on town meetings. Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA) also was found to say to prepare for a future without a Kennedy in the bigger house of Congress. Howard Fineman and Jonathon Alter put it all on the table.

Number 4: The Adolph XLIII Gestapo told then-Homeland Security boss Tom Ridge vis a vis Herrs Donald Rumsfeld and John Ashcroft to raise the "terror threat" from yellow to orange on the day of the 2004 Presidential Election in his new book The Test of Our Time. Add that to the 2000 rigging of the election by his brother, the clusterfuck in Ohio that year and now we know why the Democrats were so pissed and now the Good Oldboysandgirls Party are paying through the nose and then some into say, 2012. John Dean will explain what the hell was going on.

Did You Know? Are you stupid enough? Did you have any idea? There's a Keith Olbermann bobblehead? Get it at today. Start planning your Christmas wish list today, and check this T-shirt out.

Oddball: Yabba dabba doo to celebrate Fred Flintstone's original voice actor, Alan Reed's birthday. The Winnipeg Goldeyes and Fargo Morehead Hawks fought. What made this extra special fun? the coaches went at it. If you subscribe to Entertainment Weekly in New York and LA, you'll get a free Pepsi Max video player inside select copies promoting CBS shows. And a free Joel McHale Community promo.

Best Persons, The "Great Verbal Drop Trou" Edition: 3 - Inanity and Stewart Varney lie about Social Security's default. 2 - Tom Delay tapdancing on Obama's gift certificate, or birth certificate. 1 - Sen Kay Bailey Hutchenson (R-TX) homecoming queen in 1961 wants education like she had. Segragated.

Musical Segue: Never Going back to My Home School by Steeley Dan.

Number 3: Guess who was outsorced for those hit squads against Al-Qaeda that Herr Goebles Cheney had? That's right, The Company Formerly Known As Blackwater. Retired CIA heads went to Xe and it failed. Jeremy Scahill from The Nation rejoins us for more.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Glenn Beck is on vacation...or has been suspended for a week for those stupid Obama reverse racism comments.
Bronze - Turdblossom (a Norwegian-American) was inducted into the Hall of Fame. And is still in this man's Hall of Shame.
Silver - Sen. Jon Cornym (R-TX) lies again on his own web site.
Gold - Rep. Roy Blunt (R-MO) can't get his replacement on his hip in Canada and the UK. What a liar. He pulled the number of thin air, but in reality of his ass.

Number 1: More "Fun On Hiking the Old Appalachian TrailTM", compliments of Sen. Jon Ensign (R-NV) claims that affair was not as bad as President Clinton, equaling Sen. Jon "Fillibuster? I don't even know her!" Vitter (R-LA) at that, and not counting Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) either. Las Vegas Sun columnist Jon Ralston explains.

I'll see you tomorrow night.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Countdown "Plausibly" Live Blog: 8/19/09

(Guest posted by JFein from Fire Andy Reid Now!)
Added at 12:22 ET: Had I been smart and checked my email earlier in the afternoon, I would have found out about this sooner. Regardless, James Craven's mother who is going to undergo open-heart surgery. I think I speak for everyone in our little blogging family, if you will, when I say that our thoughts & prayers are with her, James, and the Craven family during this difficult time. All the best, Mrs. Craven, we are indeed all thinking about you.
How about Cliff Lee? A complete game 2-hitter. JC saw a good one tonight, that's for sure. And unlike last night, the night time sky was actually dark tonight. That being said, we'll be under way in a little over 15.

We've got Dems going out alone, greedy insurance, a townhall gunman, Nippon Ham Fighters, Bobby Jindal, and Britney on Letterman.

The Tie: Black with odd gray stripes

Number 5:
A new poll shows that American wants a public option and without one, no bill gets passed. And we have a random special comment. Wow.....that was a painfully awkward and bad transition. Instead of recapping, I'll just post the video.

And members of a certain health care corporation are encouraging its employees to protest the reform. And in the category of Barnie Frank actually does something right, he shot down some lady at a town hall meeting who compared Obama's policies to Nazi Germany. And oh my, people at MSNBC cannot spell. Screenshot coming shortly. Howard Fineman and E.J. Dionne join Keith for a couple of interviews on the above.

Number 4: The health insurance companies could make 35% profit off of people paying their medical bills. For comparisons sake, Vegas makes 20% off similar charges. Wendell Potter, a former CIGNA executive turned whistle-blower comes in for an interview.

Oddball: Happy birthday to the doctor who fixed Keith's eyes, Dr. Richard Raskind. You know him/her as Dr. Renee Richards, who according to Chevy Chase (when he was actually funny on SNL years ago) wrote the book Tennis Without Balls. Erica David does not know the lyrics of God Bless America. A taxi driver in India only drives in reverse.

Best Persons: 3. Jennifer Stringer gave birth in a house with a familiar paramedic. 2. A car theif crashed into a telephone poll. 1. The Nippon Ham Fighters have swine flu.

Number 3:
A gun carrier at a townhall meeting was interviewed by a right-wing online radio host. This is all part of the Viper Militia. Mark Potok has more.
Sorry for the briefness of everything. I am being pulled in 17 different directions and I am only really able to provide brief summaries of the stories. At the same time, though, a lot of this show has been long interviews.

Number 2 (Worst Person In The World)
Bronze - Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA), a/k/a Kenneth The Page, critizied funds for high speed rail projects in his famous speech, and now wants $ for high-speed rail projects.
Silver - CluasterFixed and Fiends models Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy defended the crazy lady who asked Barney Frank about Obama's "Nazi policies"
Gold - Comedian Boss Limbaugh finds this hilarious lady and situation with Barney Frank hilarious and makes a "uranus" joke in the process.

Number 1: If there was an election today, Sarah Palin would be trailing greatly in the polls to President Obama. Olbermann also plays the Britney Spears Top 10 ways the country would be different if she was president from the Late Show last night (video below). Shannyn Moore, who apparently has had a sex change since being Matt Hardy's little MFer, joins Keith with more.

Top 10 Ways The Country Would Be Different If Britney Spears Was President.

Reason #298 Why I No Longer Love Olbermann

By JFein:

I have not yet decided whether I will bring out my old-inner Olbermann fan for 1 hour tonight at 8 or whether to bash everything he says. Knowing me, I'll plan on the former option, but when the time comes, I'll end up doing the latter. Regardless, if I am in a good mood tonight (in which case, the former will win out), I figure seeing as everytime I have done this, I have taken at least 1, even if it is subtle, shot at Olbermann, I should get it in now while I have the chance. I now give you Reason #298 why Keith Olbermann is an awful news anchor/commentator/reporter/journalist/whatever you want to call these "half-baked" cable news hosts.

With thanks to OlbermannWatch, this is Keith Olbermann on veterans' health care on July 26, 2007.

George W. Bush (in a video clip): "We owe our wounded soldier the very best care and the very best benefits and the very easiest to understand system."
Keith Olbermann: "Too bad they're not getting it"

Keith Olbermann on veteran's health care on August 17, 2009.

Keith Olbermann: "Today the President addressed veterans, a segment of the population that already receives public health care, and superlative health care at that."

And the aforementioned is not the only time that Keith bashed the VA and the treatment of veterans under the Bush Administration. This was an on-going thing. But now that Obama is president, everything is hunky-doory with veterans health care, even though no changes have been made. So do veterans receive absolutely deplorable healthcare treatment or wonderful, superlative health care treatment? Don't ask Keith Olbermann, that's for sure.

This is also piece of evidence #985 for Olbermann being completely in the tank for (and maybe even in the pants of) President Obama (although we all knew that one, right?) and a big time reason why, despite having several ultra far-right nuts in the comments section that OlbermannWatch is the best Keith Olbermann blog out there. When it comes to this stuff, Johnny Dollar is amazing.

Mindset of "OMFG Keith Olbermann is da bestest person alive" to commence in 3....2....1....

Countdown transcript of 7/25/07 (
Countdown video of 8/17/09 (

Update: It appears as if my only option tonight will be a "plausibly" live blog at 10:00. It's 7:45 and I'm just getting around to eating dinner. See you at 10 ET!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/18/09

The Tie: Brown, tan and sand colored stripes.

Number 5: Are the Democrats being painted into a corner on health care? "When the bully asks for your lunch money, you better hand it over" according to Rep. John Boehner (R-OH). And Sen. John Kyl (R-AZ) says that he won't say "yea" on any health bill whatsoever. White House mouthpiece Robert Gibbs says that we must have a public option on this healthcare bill. Lawrence O'Donnell, anything wrong with that?

And for those that the Good Oldboysandgirls Party who follow Fixed Noise, 79% says there's a myth of the "government takeover" and 75% believe in the "pull the plug on Grandma" opition lie. Mama Bear Arianna Huffington returns to disect those lies.

Number 4: The one option that the Democrats called for was for a government option, and the GOP calls it "socalist medicine". And then they add that a co-op is the same as insurance. It doesn't matter what they think, jabroni so cue Bill Murray going mental. Jonathon Cohn from The New Republic can answer all the questions.

Oddball: 'Twas in 1750 Antonio Saliari was born. YouTube video from Pakistan breaks glass doors in stupidity. EPIC FAIL! WFLA had three spotted eagle rays making whoopie. And at the Sturgeon Bay Bridge in Wisconsin, the driver of a car escaped after said car was stuck.

Best Persons: 3 - David Attenborough has a plant named after him in the South Seas. 2 - Del. Jon Cardin (D-MD) did a fake raid on the boat where he and his fiance were in... All to pop the question. 1 - Adam and Julie Hatfield took the plunge and they saved two people in the Mississippi River.

Musical Segue: Jump For My Love by The Pointer Sisters.

Number 3: Joe The One-Time So-Called Plumber is now Joe The Bully, threatening to punch out Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA). That is Un-American. And more guns on protesters when Obama speaks. Well, Prof. Melissa Harris-Lacewell, how do you pacify these bullies?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Fixed Noise model Bill Hemmell and the VP of Fixed Noise veep Bill Salmon lied on health care insurance from ABC News, but it wasn't from ABC News.
Silver - 20/20's John Stossel will host a pro-tobacco, pro-oil and Mellon family nutjobs town hall style meetings. He needs to be slapped by professional fake fighter "Dr. D" David Schultz. Again.
Gold - Comedian Boss Limbaugh lied about himself on the "Death Panel" stuff quoting Miss Wasilla 1984.

Number 1: Well it looks like Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) could very well be "Hiking The Old Appalachian TrailTM" alone. If his wife agrees to stay with him in the Governor's Mansion in Columbia, then all will be okay, but it's not. A movement is afoot to impeach him. FINALLY! They're getting my message. Genius, I tells ya, Genius! Mrs. Sanford told Vogue in a tell all interview. Emily Heil from Roll Call joins us to further dig Mr. Sanford's political grave.

Just a quick reminder, JFein will be (hopefully) pinch hitting for yours truly tomorrow night (8/19) as I have an appointment with Cliff Lee and Dan Harden on Brad Lidge Bobble Figurine Night at The Vault. See you Thursday (8/20).

The Newest Fashion Trend in Wisconsin are selling these like hotcakes as of today after He Who Shall Not Be Named (No, not Billo The Clown) signed with the Vikings. Methinks Week 4 of the Monday Night Football schedule will be veddddy interestink, indeed. And Fox just lucked out on the first game of their doubleheader November 1 (with Giants-Eagles in the second spot), plus a fourth game of the World Series - in Philly? - will also cause a major gridlock at The Financial District.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/17/09

The Tie: Silver, pink and light yellow

Number 5: All "Public Option" all the time on Health Care according to President Obama may be dead soon. Kathleen Suvillas, the Secretary of Health and Human Services told about public co-op, as from Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY, unrelated to Michael Weinersavage) could lose 100 Democratic votes according to Linda Douglas, the White House's Health person. Veterans' health coverage will not change according to Obama. It's an expansion. Howard Fineman, anything to add?

Meanwhile, the guy who wrote the bill, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) will vote against the program he helped build if he can't get anyone from the Good Oldboysandgirls Party to go along with this. Lawrence O'Donnell, what now?

Number 4: Rachael Maddow may have broken the first rule to tell Dick Armey about political views on the mess in health care. Armey - who should change his last name to "Head" on trying to cut Medicare - tried to shout Maddow down. Ronald Reagan pointed this whole Medicare care in 1961. Well Arianna "Mama Bear" Huffington, what do you say about it?

Oddball: In NYC in 1888, Edward Wooley was born and was ever the guy. Turtle Lake, Wisconsin "Crash for Clunkers" was held. And two yellow school buses were wrecked. And that squirrel picture explained the picture, and showed several before pictures.

Best Persons: 3 - Dana Perino, Adolph XLIII's ex-press secretary tried to defend Fixed Noise's White House beat reporter. 2 - Research 2000 poll points out that southern white guys like Fixed Noise as reliable. 1 - Andrei Melnikow called his cell two feet from a gas stove...and turned it on.

Musical Segue: Mr. Telephone Man by New Edition.

Number 3: Look everyone, Howard Dean's here to further explain the "Public Option" stuff. Just ask Gov. Tim Palenty (R-MN) about it, and as tells us, we could see the Democrats lose both houses of Congress in 2010.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Prof. Harold Hill loses GMAC, Best Buy, CVS, Travelocity and others in sponsorships. Now 20 corporate smarties have pulled out of the Hill paranoia fest.
Silver - Sen. Tom Coleman (R-OK) references death, Nazis and violence on government employees.
Gold - The Texas state Board of Education will now have mandatory bible classes. Seperation of church and state much?

Number 1: We mentioned in an earlier post that Tom DeLay will be on Dancing with the Stars starting this September. He's done this before, tap dancing in Congress. In other news from the bizzaro world, Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN DWARF STAR PLUTO) says she will run for President if God tells her to. So, is that an earpiece there tuned to Comedian Boss Limbaugh or are you crazy enough to hear us? So Paul F. Tompkins, is either having the Worst Week Ever?

We'll base our decision on seeing you tomorrow.

So, Do You Really Care About the Ninth Season of Dancing With the Stars?

Well, here it is, as announced Monday (8/17):

  • Donny Osmond, brother of former contestant Marie Osmond
  • Dallas Cowboys Hall of Famer Michael Irvin, teammate of ‘DWTS’ champ Emmitt Smith
  • Ashley Hamilton, son of former contestant George Hamilton, ex-husband of Shannen Doherty and Angie Everhart
  • ‘Sports Illustrated’ cover girl Kathy Ireland
  • ‘The Chairman’ of ‘Iron Chef America’ Mark Dacascos
  • Melissa Joan Hart, ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’
  • Grammy winner Macy Gray
  • R&B singer Mya
  • Kelly Osbourne, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne’s daughter
  • Debi Mazar, ‘Entourage’
  • Model Joanna Krupa, Terrell Owens partner/nemesis this summer on ABC’s ‘The Superstars’
  • Olympian Natalie Coughlin
  • UFC Fighter Chuck Liddell aka ‘The Iceman’
  • Snowboarder Louis Vito
  • Singer Aaron Carter, brother of a Backstreet Boy bander
  • Tom DeLay, former House Majority Leader, nicknamed ‘The Hammer’

And yes, that is the oft-WPitW nominee Tom DeLay. As far as I know, Alton Brown will text all his votes for Chairman Dacascos just to keep his job, Nick Bakay will text all his votes for Ms. Hart, just as a favor, and everyone else will fight to the death.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/14/09

TheTie: Black.

Number 5: President Obama went to an unfiltered town hall in Montana and a real working man asked about real health care. Randy Rathie joked about "those cable networks" as the only place to get his news. He then threw one of his senators under the bus on the subject, and no death panel or other Good Oldboysandgirls Party about it, and that's what Bill Clinton did tell those bloggers in Pittsburgh, and Sen. Kent Conrad (D-ND) and Rep. Leonard Boswell (D-IA) are on opposite sides of the story. Hello again, Howard Dean.

The Stimulai Bill was warned by Paul Krugman on those GOP dim bulbs tht are not from the far right. Eugene Robinson, got any clues?

Number 4: Sens. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) and Arlen Specter (D-PA) are Twittering in a fight on he end of life consultation, and Miss Wasilla 1984 claims that she had that both removed from the bills. Cue Schoolhouse Rock and that "Conjunction Dysfunction Junction, What's your function?" song. Am I right Chris Kofinis? Oh, he's just a bill up on Capitol Hill whilst on recess.

Oddball: In 1935, FDR signed the Social Security bill. Snake wranger Justin Matthews saved a python in Bradenton, Florida, and lived to tell about it. But he planted it all. On Canadian TV, a British Columbia's midday newscasts proved never work with kids or animals...especially on live television.

Best Persons: 3 - John Mackey of Whole Foods told The Murdoch Street Journal about health care as socialism, and there is a threat of a boycott on the Whole Foods website boards. 2 - Skeezix called saying CBS News claimed that he didn't read GOP Stalking points. 1 - Simon Fraser now has "F-D" as a grade. Dean Wormer told them "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life."

Musical Segue: Sam Cooke's "What a Wonderful World It Would Be."

Number 3: Professor Harold Hill lost more advertisers, including Radio Shack, er, "The Shack", ConAgra and some Big Pharma. Newt Gingrich again gets the idiot award because of the LaCrosse, Wisconsin hospital has cheaper last two years of life than UCLA Medical Center. Comedian Boss Limbaugh read ads for living wills. Rep. Larsen (D-WA) even mocked Prof. Hill, and The Daily Show and John Stewart (America's most trusted news anchor) showed some video proof otherwise of Prof. Hill under the knife, and blasted the boss at GE, MSNBC's owner. Video proof in the pudding below.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Lou Dobbs keeps digging deeper in Howard Dean's hole about the bloodsucking thing.
Silver - Rudy Giulaiani, "America's Mayor", joins the death watch panel shouters.
Gold - Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN DWARF STAR PLUTO) in a fund-raising letter attacks the writer in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune thanking his son, Harrison, on joining that "secret Obama Army" known as Americorps.

Number 1: Turdblossom will follow Comedian Boss Limbaugh (and Keith) on Family Guy? Joe The Not Really a Plumber doing stand up comedy? Okay, what's the punchline? No, seriously... I'm still waiting for the return of Bob Grossbeard, President of Quahog Oil, although I hear Mr. Olbermann wll be working The Cleveland Show with Mama Bear Huffington this fall as a guest voice. Limbaugh was already in "Blue Peter" as himself. Real comic Christian Finegan joins us for the punchline.

Have a great weekend, and I'll see you Monday.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Well, There Goes The Fucking Season: Eagles Sign Ron Mexico

Philadelphia officially has gone to fucking hell in a mother fucking handbasket.

The Eagles have signed convicted illegal gambler and dogfighter Michael Vick.

All I can say is

I said it before, and I'll say it again. If I was Roger Goodell, Michael Vick would be banned for life from the National Football League because dog fighting contains illegal gambling during these events. Plain and simple, Pete Rozelle must be spinning in his grave hearing this.

Countdown Live Blog: 8/13/09

The Tie: Navy blue, white and silver stripes.

Number 5: Congratulations, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) ansd Miss Wasilla 1984 for removing those death provisions on your own on the end of life benefits. You know, the death panel, while Michael Steele Sieve claimed via denial that the Good Oldboysandgirls Party sabotaged those town hall meetings and Grassley did the Dutch Boy Finger in the Dike stuff. And Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister put on her Facebook about those death panels, but instead, it was about a hypothetical thing. Yes, she even quoted Eugene Washington who just happens to join us to tell more. Kevorkian much, Palin, Grasley, and every GOP far right wing idiot crack head?

Meanwhile, at 1600 Pennsylania Avenue, the bait wasn't taken by someone else, so Howard Dean (YARRRRRRH!) joins us to look into this.

Number 4: Ah, the tell-all of Herr Goebles on the Adolph XLIII Gestapo will soon be put out, and he hated Adolph XLIII, and Barton Gellman of The Washington Post told all and heard all and joins us to explain it all.

Odball: In 1860, Phoebe Ann Mosley, a/k/a Annie Oakley was born. We have
Earth Shattering Breaking News on last night's (8/12) infamous "Throw-A-Plastic-Cup-Full-Of-Beer-At-Shane Victorino Gate" at The Friendy Confines of Wrigley Field, or as it is better known, Steve Bartman Park. Lou Pinella and the Cubs as a whole apologized. Security fingered the wrong guy...and ejected him. The real perp turned himself in and faces assault charges. Suggestion for guilty charge: Let's send him to Philly to have our fans beat his ass down. In Janesville, Wisconsin, is that a gun in your pocket or are you here to see the off-duty cops?

Best Persons: 3 - Jon Klein of CNN will ban radio talk show hosts as guests. Take it further and ban CNN hosts from doing talk radio (See "Dobbs, Lou"). 2 - Jerrel Paul Arnold asked for the cash and handed over his ID. Now he's in the big house for that. 1 - Melissa Brants' photo featured a squirrel or a prarie dog. And this made it onto National Geographic, too.

Musical Segue: The theme from National Lampoon's Vacation. Sorry, park's closed, the moose outside shoulda told ya...

Number 3: More on Herr Goebles and Adolph XLIII Gestapo and paranoia will destroya. Just ask John Dean, who comes back to tell everything...

NBC News found exclusive footage of last Saturday's (8/8) crash that claimed ten lives from the air into the Hudson River in NYC that the National Transportation Safety Board will need and it is graphic. We'll post it later.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World, The National Health Care Proposal From the Far, Far Right Crazy Nut Job Looney Bin Edition)
Bronze - Coultergeist starts again to be claiming on the death panel of Dr. Emanuel.
Silver - Rep. John Mica (R-FL) again claims death counselors...death panel.
Gold - Comedian Boss Limbaugh claimed that he was compared to Nazis, but calls out those supporting the plans Nazis minutes later. What an idiot. See yesterday's (8/12) Bronze for my comment.

Number 1: Secretary of State Hilary Rodham Clinton was in Nigeria and said that she was comparing new democracies to the infamous rigged 2000 election when Adolph got his brother - the Governor of Florida - to fix the balloting. Alois Bush's spokesperson wished Hilary well on the trip. Margaret Carlson from Bloomsberg News will explain this for those who were born before 2000.

And so, tomorrow we will meet again.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/12/09

The Tie: Sage green. Looks like the fall collection must be coming out.

Number 5: Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) has become a two-faced liar. So has Sen. Johnny Isakson (R-GA). This after President Obama praised them for helping out on the Health Care reform. Grassley said that you have every right to fear about those "death panels" and lost $1.2 million from Big Pharma. Isakon co-sponsored a bill on living wills, and Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK), probably the only sane Good Oldboysandgirls Party member in The Last Frontier blasted Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister on that subject. Mama Bear Ariana Huffington joins us to seek theat bipartianism needed to settle this.

Nutcases are coming up, now anti-government militas are on the raise. The Southern Poverty Law Center now claims that a changing demographic, with hispanics and many others coming into the country, and President Obama in charge. Mark Potok joins us from said SPLC headquarters for more about this.

Number 4: Professor Harold Hill is losing everything, especially after his racist comments on President Obama hating white people: his mind, his cred and now his advertisers. SC Johnson (A Family Company), Sargento Cheese, Progressive Insurance (Flo just delivered a double barrel bird flip a la Stone Cold Steve Austin at Beck),, Proctor and Gamble, Geico (The Gecko was pissed off as was Oobi getting paid), Men's Wearhouse (they sure didn't like it), and quite possibly State Farm (Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm isn't there.) Chris Hayes from The Nation joins us to seek the answers from's petition.

ddball: Christy Mathewson was born in this day in 1870. And there was a mess in California with a semi full of tomatoes crashing into Amtrak's train. In New York City, Mentoria Hutchenson dances to direct traffic. Allen Funt did this years ago on Candid Camera.

Best Persons: 3 - ClusterFixed and Fiends' Steve Doocy has an imaginary friend. And no, it's not named Blooregard Q. Kazoo. He copied The Heritage Foundation's five questions about the Town Hall meetings. 2 - Steven Hawking snapped on Inverstor's Business Daily's commentary on the proposed US Health Care being like the UK, responding via The Guardian. And he enjoys the National Health System in the UK. 1 - Ed Morrissey blasts the far right nut jobs on training prisioners. He's also a writer for And a conserative. Good for you, sir!

Musical Segue: "True" by Spandau Ballet.

Number 3: Turdblossom did indeed get his hand into the cookie jar on the politically charged firing of the 2006 attorneys. So sayeth the House Judiciary Committee overseeing this. One of those who was sacked, New Mexico's David Iglesias, joins the show to tell all. And Harriet "the Spy" Meyers, noted ex-Supreme Court Justice nominee, told them about it, too. For Iglesias, this could very well be revenge, a dish served best to people of taste (or no taste whatsoever like the Adolph XLIII Gestapo) cold.

Number 2 (Worst Person on the World)
Bronze - Comedian Boss Limbaugh hates being called a Nazi. Pot, kettle, you all know Mr. Black.
Silver - Lou Dobbs claims Howard Dean forwarded left-wing facism. Called him Dracula instead. Dean's brother is calling for his sacking, so he can work in the horse stables with those illegal ailens he employs.
Gold - Skeezix claims that GE, NBC Universal's parent, made radio frequency modules as components for Iraqi roadside bombs, and it's all unconfirmed. It's all denied. And now Keith wants Bill fired. This time, it's serious.

Number 1: Did you hear Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN DWARF PLANET PLUTO) saying that Americorps is a "secret army for President Obama?" Her son, Harrison, just joined Americorps. Cue the Carl Lewis "UH-OH!" It's the manna that keeps on giving from Minnesota. in other White House Idol 2012 news, ex-Pa. Sen. Rick Santorum (R) wants to run for President. Oh, Christian Finnegan, punchline thee.

See you tomorrow night. I'm off to watch Pedro Martinez in his Phillies debut (unless Gary Matthews is on, then my TV audio gets muted.)