Friday, March 27, 2009

Countdown Live and Interrupted By A Computer Breakdown Blog: 3/27/09

The Tie: Purple with red spots.

Number 5: Michele Bachman (R-MN), the representative from the planet Pluto - check that, dwarf star Pluto - is now calling for an orderly revolution to overthrow President Obama, and in the process, may have broken a few laws. She's telling her paranoya will destroya over global currency, and says she's a foreign reporter in this country. So going on Inanity's radio humorfest, she called for it, and Jonathan Alter will see that and raise you the still dead Generalmissio Francisco Franco as well.

And then the GOP's "fudge-it" was still full of the sound and fury signafying nothing, and Minority Whip Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) just couldn't get Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) to cancel the presser, so why have no money amount and "Drill, baby drill" and tax cuts instead.'s Matt Cooper has come here to look over this plan...or the lack thereof. Guess when it comes out? April Fools Day.

Number 4: Adolph XLIII was supposed to claim himself as a war president. Time's up, and now President Obama will now put pressure on Afgans and Pakistanis to erase the Taliban from both. Adding 4,000 troops to the 17,000 going there in the future to train police and military personel, while withdrawing from Iraq in the progress. Rajiv Chandraserkaran from The Washington Post, fresh from Iraq, joins us.

It was at this point my computer decided to go mental on me and and I had to pick up the 10 PM ET/7 PM replay here. Remember the term "DTA: Don't Trust Anyone" that Stone Cold Steve Austin warned us about? "DTT: Don't Trust Technology." Sledgehammer, please say hello to the Dell 2300.

Oddball: Vince the ShamWow! guy was arrested for biting the tongue of a lady of ill repute. Was it 56 seconds into this ad he said this repeatedly to her? In other Oddball news, a bobcat with rabies was found in an Chaparral, Arizona bar and bit a photographer. The Arizona Wildcats were put out of their misery... And over in Finland, is that a minidrive on your pinky finger or are you just happy to be on the interwebs?

Best Persons: 3 - Want a $5, 14-inch one-topping pizza from an pizzeria in Pocatello, Idaho? See Jeb Harrison's class. 2 - Steve Schmidt now supports gay marriage after voting against Prop 8. 1 - The GOP sets the president on budget
accordng to Presidential Election loser Sen. John McCain (R-AZ). Now that's honesty!

Musical Segue: En Vogue's "Whatta Man!"

Number 3: Miss Wasalia 1984, the Evil Twin Sister of Tina Fey was supposed to have a meeting telephionically (yes, there's that word in Webster's) with her Good Oldboysandgirls Party leaders in the Alaska State House and State Senate, but they blew her off...or vice versa, all about the stimulai especially that education money, and now the State Legislature is mad as hell and won't take any more. Welcome Shannyn Moore back to dig deeper into this.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

The nominees tonight goes into the stew for the weekly winner in a bit as well!
Bronze - The aforementioned Rep. Cantor went on Fixed and Fiends and answered former beauty queen Gretchen Carlson's softball question on why the budget that isn't a budget had an odd number of pages.
Silver - Michelle Malagang Malkin, that noted ashamed Philadelphia native, doesn't like the idea of giving the newspaper industry non-profit status and tax-free as well.
Gold - Billo has lost a major sponsor after the stalking of Amanda Turkel of in the form of UPS. So, Billy, "What CAN'T brown do for you?"

Number 1:
Joe the Unlicensed Non-Union Non-Plumber is now a spokesweasel for the far right wing nutjob group Americans for Prosperity in a campaign against the Employee Free Choice Act. And man, he's horny, right Eugene Robinson?

Weekly Bonus Time: Well, let the daily winners and runnerups together now and decide this week's bottom feeder of the bottom feeders:

When Kenneth the Page, Governor of Louisiana says that $130 million is a waste of money from the stimulai. This late word just in, Mount Redoubt just exploded ash into Anchorage... A double dipper for Glenn Beck, criticizing the Real Time gang on HBO for being crazier than the previously called upon Michele Bachman, and then shows us how nutty he is by wrapping a fish in The New York Times. It was reported that the dead fish, who was a junior account executive at Fixed Noise, refused to be wrapped in Pirate Rupert's vanity newspaper because it was beneath him. Did we also mention that he was scared about President Obama using teleprompters? You're using one, sir... Can't have Billo around without his name calling at NBC News, claiming that the network was bankrupt, but our news division made $775 million, while Rupert's personal worth was shanghai's in half and then some... Speaking of anyone at NewsCorpse, one of the actresses at Fixed Going Out of Business claimed that AIG's bonuses being sent back to the Federal Government was akin to sexual assualt, and Fixed Noise brainiac Megyn Kelley blames death threats, and sure enough, she should have known that some of her staffers were also aghast about it and wanted them boiled in boiling oil in Times Square... Up on Capital Hill, Sens. Kit Bond (R-MO) and Judd Gregg (R-NH) did mention something about cement shows to weigh people down, mistaking it for mob rules, while Rep. Joe barton (R-TX) says there's no proof of global warming and needs shade... Finally, Gary Bauer, the president of a whack out group called American Values says that there were mini-Gitmo everywhere. They showed them in a documentry and even mentioned He Who Shall Not Be Named by name. Nice work, Sparky.

Add to the ollo that is the worst of the worst, tonight's nominees Billo and the UPS boycott, Michele Malagang Malkin for non-profit newspaper status and Eric Cantor on the not-a-real-budget. So who was it that was the worst of the worst? Well, if you want to be honest, one guy outshone everyone. Crazy as it may seem, Billo is very careful to stay where he is, otherwise, the man who wins this week was nuts, and no it wasn't Vince the ShamWow and SlapChop fellow. the man who has decided that he is certified nuts, the gu who was a fishmonger, Glenn Beck, this week's Worst... PERSON... IN THE WORLD... OF THE WEEK!

Don't forget to visit Keith's Sports Journal this weekend (provided there's no glitches) for the live blogging of the Elite Eight, and I'll see you Monday if my computer finally decides to behave.

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