Super Sunday in America Live Blog Extravaganza

Welcome to the biggest and most likely longest blog entry of my short blogging lifetime, namely the Super Sunday in America pre-game live blog. Kickoff of the game between the Steelers and Cardinals is exactly five hours and 28 minutes away, and there will be a lot of stuff to cover before the actual game telecast begins.

So all I have to ask is...are you ready? Bob: "Super Bowl Sunday is not just a game, but a party." Chris: "Did you ever think that we would do a Super Bowl with the Arizona Cardinals on a pirate ship?" Keith and Tiki are right now in the Arizona locker room. It works well for now. That is, until they get word on the fact the Cards are coming...fast. "Back to Cap'n Bob on the pirate ship." Bob: "Thank you, first mate Keith." And no mention of the late Al DeRogatis, either.

Dip...check. Homemade chili...check. Pace Salsa not made in NEW YORK CITY!?...check. Cans of nonadult beverages...check. A look at the sofa king hot Hayden Pantierre...check. Save the cheerleader typecasting, save Al Roker from the buffet line. Doritos and Lays chips...check. And Roker does a pirate "Arrrr" before Keith. All bets are off now. Dan and Jerome were in the Steelers locker room earlier, and now Dan is hosting a cookoff with those from "Top Chef." Tiki will be one of the judges, mostly because he has expertise from doing a Thanksgiving edition of Iron Chef America.

There's some "G" in front of Rodney Harrison. You know, "G" (Gatorade) is the worst marketing idea ever, and it makes you want to drink Powerade instead. And plus one to Bus rubbing it in on Holmgren. And why do they have to rub it on Eagles fans showing Harrison in SB XXXIX? FIRE ANDY REID NOW! (Blaitant plug for the JFein website.)

Keith and Dan recap the Steelers season in Little Big Show style. Hines War...DUH! Have fun storming the Cassel. Wheee....... And Dan asks to keep Jerome's fans to keep it down. Speaking of down, one hour in the books, four more yet to come. And Dan asks "Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?" Hey, he'll be on later... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK, JABRONI!

Keith and Dan recap the Cardinals run to Tampa LBS style. Yay...very weakly. Dare I say...en fuego. (ONE!) Here's your Keith play...and here's your Dan play. Yes, Bus still looks dumb in those 3-D glasses. Roker looks even dumber. Dr. Tongue's House of Dripping Inanity (Not Sean Inanity mind you.) Wonder if Tiki's ready to eat.

Chef Dan? The winner of the "Top Chef" Challenge is... Pittsburgh. Winner gets game tickets, loser gets season tickets to the Detroit Lions. Andrea Kremer also did a cheap shot at Joe Buck and his federal escort if you know what I mean...

Keith delivers a history lesson of the Arizona formerly Phoenix formerly St. Louis formerly Chicago formerly Racine Street Cardinals. All hail Elizabeth Samtamatina Fey. Will Ferrell, Bill Laimbeer called. He wants those Sleezaks back. And Dan throws out Billo The Clown. What next, Coltergeist? Weinersavage? Comedian Rush Limbaugh?

Second hour done. Three more fun filled hours left in this show. And no "Saved By Zero", please. Rainn Wilson is wearing an Elizabeth Hasselbeck's brother-in-law jersey, not knowing his team missed the playoffs, and SSReporters moans at the joke.

Did I mention the Monsters vs. Ailens 3-D thing later today? If you didn't get the glasses and are recording the ads, get them tomorrow...or else, it won't be fun. Keith and Dan throws out the fact that John Legend could be John Elway or Larry Legend, and Ben Rothlisberger is a John Legend fan.

We went from The Fast and the Furious (Four) to The Slow and the Well-Behaved... And Vin Diesel, please check your watch. Your fifteen minutes of fame is now at one minute and fifty seconds, thank you. The only thing laughable about Kath and Kim BTW...their ratings.

BTW, NBC's revenue for the Super Bowl ads - all 67 of them - total up to $206 million, or to put it mildly, $1 million for each year Kurt Warner has been on this earth as Mr. Olbermann could point out. Now we're halfway home...or a few minutes beyond that point. Wise words stand the test of time, and Keith knows that after Al Roker jabronies up when The Rock tells him to stop drinking shut up juice.

After Ms. Fey's evil twin sister appears, I plead to myself "Bob, stop winking. You'll excite Rich Lowry again, forcing Keith to do his impression of Adam West reading from the Penthouse Forum once more." And 376 days until the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, eh? Guess that means 383 days until the next Oscar presentation after this year. Two hours left to go until the whole shebang gets underway, so get your TO-endorsed popcorn ready...Sorry.

Bill Hobohoodiecheat's on...hide the video cameras. And then, Journey plays. Remember how Keith wanted to see how Harry Potter end? Kinda like The Sopranos as "Don't Stop Believin'" is interrupted near the end... And Dan brings up Da Pale Hose. Onion rings, anyone?

Marv Albert showed more emotion on David Tyree than Joe Buck did last year on The Catch. Rodney Harrison, your thoughts? One more hour of this and then we watch football.

Meet us at the mizzenmast, you say? I made that last line up... And President Obama was removed from the cover of Us Weekly by Yoko Romo... And Keith and Tiki check the sidelines to check the Big Red.

And so, after some time, it's time for a pick...and Keith picks the Stillers among a dead heat on a merry-go-round, 5-5. Well, it's game time, and I'll see you later.