Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/18/09

The Tie: Brown, black and cream stripes.

Number 5: President Obama has $75 billion available for you if you're one of nine million homeowners. Many in prompt trouble with loan sharks, the rest with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac with underwater mortages, but not one for those for dishonest lenders. And House Minority Whip Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), Mister My-Wife-Got-Some-Of-Adolph's-Cash-In-The-First-Bailout-For-Her-Bank, is already against it, especially when the Good Oldboys Party tried to fix this. Richard Wolffe, please try to explain the fact that the Republicans are stuck in the 1990s 1870s.

And joining us is HUD Secretary Sean Donovan to explain it all for you.

Number 4: The Ausse Captain Hook, Pirate Rupert Murdoch (arrrrr!) had his favorite newspaper, The New York Post print a cartoon on Page Six today of the shooting of a chimpanzee shot in Connecticut citing by one cop saying to the other "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill." They said it was directed to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and is not. Rev. Al Sharpton is in studio tonight to talk about this. Framkly, if I owned "one of New York's Finest newspapers" as Mr. Letterman said back in the 1980's with the imfamous headline "HEADLESS MAN IN TOPLESS BAR" then I'd say you have some 'splainin to do.

Oddball: In 1895, Win One For the Gipper himself was born. President Obama recieved one of Shaquille O'Neal's size 23 sneakers. And in Athens, ten semi-naked artists made body paint of Pope Benedict XLIII and President Obama.

Best Persons: 3 - Robert Pittman stole smokes, dropped trou and got arrested. 2 - Strausburg, France had a malfuncion with France Telecom run alarms singannling that the world was ending. 1 - Johnny Damon said there was worse things A-R*d could have murder.

Musical Segue: It coulda been worse.

Number 3: Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) should replace the Common Loon as the state bird of the Land of Ten Thousnad Lakes. Then again, she is the most common loon from the far right whacko nut job section of the Republican party. She parrotted ACORN, Betsy McCaughly's health care, Census hijacking and redistricting Congressional Districts. On KTLK Radio's Chris Baker Show, she said that and just nuttier than my Christmas fruitcake. And Chris Hayes from The Nation is here to LOL at her.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Newt Gingrich's new bold idea is to reduce or eliminate the Capital Gains taxes...which he came up with back in 1997!
Silver - Trace Gallagher and Charles Krauthammer said there's a $8 Billion high speed train from Vegas to Disneyland. Only in their Fantasyland.
Gold - Lame Duck retiring Sen. Kit Bond (R-MO) says he wanted to have 700 new homes and 3,000 new jobs in Missouri...but voted "No". Nice work, Sparky.

Number 1:
He's dabbled in fantasy sports, he picked Barack Obama to win the White House, and tonight, Nate Silver of is here to pick the Oscar winners!

We'll be back tomorrow with more fun than imagined.


  1. Buckaroo Bachmann from the eighth dimension. I love it when KO throws in the itty bitty Buckaroo Banzai, Star Trek, Star Wars, or MST3K references. He just makes my night sometimes. Great show. Loved ten semi-naked artists. Living art. Somehow that worked.

  2. It's obvious that Ms. Bachmann and the rest of the far-right wing whacko nut jobs never thought with their dipsticks, Jimmy.