Countdown Live Blog: 2/17/09

The Tie: Red.

Number 5: And so, the $787 Billion Stimulai package is law. President Obama signed his bill in Denver and the first project is a new Osage River bridge in Missouri. Timing is everything. Also, 17,000 troops to be deployed in Afganistan to hopefully hunt down and arrest or kill Osama Bin Laden, alond with lots and lots of money ($16.6B for GM, cutting 20K jobe, and $5B for Chrysler while cutting three lines and 5K jobs.) Take it away, Howard Fineman!

And then there's House Minority Whip Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA). His wife works for a bank that got $267M in your tax dollars which her husband voted for. Now he's on the attack on Obama's new mortage plan on CBS' The Early Show this morning. But the GOP's plan was more expensive. Tax and spend, indeed says Eugene Robinson.

Number 4: When it says "Libby Libby Libby" on No Pardon Pardon Pardon... Herr Goebles Cheney wanted Adolph XLIII to grant a full pardon to Scooter Libby but Adolph refused. Herr Goebles was pissed off beyond belief. And believe ot or not, Adolph was correct. Adolph was fucking right! Commuting a 30-month jail term wasn't enough for Herr Goebles. All from the imfamous Valerie Plame leak and even Turdblossom of Fixed Noise showed up on Today his side. Tom DeFrank, Washington Bureau Chief of The New York Daily News, broke the news broke the news today. Oh boy.

Oddball: In Ashford, Georgia 35 years ago, a giant peanut was erected, leading to this blooper at CNN. That's peanut, not male genatalia. At least it was unintentional... And in Algeria a man eats nails.

Best Persons: 3 - Gary Schneeberger says the Religious Right should not be called the Religious Right. 2 - Sen Roland Burris (D-IL) said yes, he tried to raise money for Blago. 1 - George Will doesn't make sense to the University of Illinois Artic Climate Center that saw sea water go down.

Musical Segue: Robert Van Winkle's "Ice Ice Baby", a sheer ripoff of Bowie and Queen's "Pressure".

Number 3: Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister's daughter Bristol (named for the Connecticut city where ESPN is) saying that abstance isn't realistic. The elderst daughter of Miss Wasalia 1984 spoke on Fixed Noise's On The Record with Greta Van Strustren, said that it was her choice. Laura Flanders from GritTV.org, welcome to the show.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Daddy, what did you do in jail during the bailout? A lawsuit filed in a Freedom of Information item. 2 - Yue, Bradbury and others writing waterboarding and now they want it made public. 1 - Pvt. Brad Neeley, USA says beatings were revenge. Okay, tell us more.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Dr. David Tillman is closing the Motion Picture/TV retirement house because they're losing $10 million/year. Otherwise... It's making money...

Silver - Billo the Clown again speaking about the Natlia Salman interview saying she got paid. Wrong again, Billo. Retraction or lawsuit forthcoming. Even FixedNoise.com made it look like she was paid.

Gold - Comedian Rush Limbaugh claims there was a deal between Jesus and Satan. Quoth Church Lady "Well, isn't that special? Who could it possibly be? Could it be, ummmmmmm... Rush Limbaugh?" And wouldn't you know it, Pat Robertson smacked him down!

Number 1: "I'm here to take my medicine." A-R*d said that twice. At his press conference in Tampa today. Took what turned out to be steroids for three years with the Texas Rangers. Bought in La Republica Dominicana over something called Primobolin with his cousin. The man is a schmuck, plain and simple. Richard Justice delivers his verdict (no pun intended whatsoever).

And so, we'll see you tomorrow for more fun.