Friday, February 13, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 2/13/09

More about this in the Number 1 Story below.
The Tie: Bright red.

Number 5: The stimulai passed the House, and not one member of the Grand Oldboys Party (and seven Democrats including ex-Washington Redskin QB Heath Shuler) voted against it, and we awaited Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH) to say "aye" after flying back from the funeral of his mother with 59 votes already in the bank and with that call at 10:47 PM US EST send the $789 billion plan to President Obama and sign it as soon as Tuesday (2/17). Turdblossom would be fecking proud. Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) was absent because he was in Florida. On CNBC's "Squak Box", Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) explained his side of the story. And this morning, spending would make a recovery with 3.5 million jobs over the next 24 months of the worst ecomonic disaster since the Great Depression. Richard Wolffe now has a stim to tell us, and now the next stop will be how to save the banks and the housing markets.

Eugene Robinson joins us for the funeral for bipartianism in the Obama Administration.

Number 4: The flight of Continential Airlines Flight 3407 which crashed outside Buffalo, NY saw 49 passengers and an innocent bystander pass away, and one of the victims was Beverly Eckert, whose husband passed away on 9/11. The fragility of life as we know it has now come full circle. The tireless avovcate for the victim's rights and even Secratary of State Hilary Clinton publicly thanked her. Nothing out of the ordinary except for ten minutes of explosions, while ice buildup occured. Ironicly, it was the same airport (Newark Liberty) where United Airlines Flight 93 went airborne.

Oddball: President Lincoln was officially certified. In Hong Kong, it's Valentine's Day and there is a race with husbands carrying their the local shopping center. And in Thailand, it's the annual bed 90-degree heat.

Best Persons: 3 - Jack Wolf Photography sends us a picture of Capt. Sully and Keith on the sidelines before Super Bowl XLIII. 2 - A GOP retreat asked Mike McKenna to come up with the name "Drill Baby, Drill". 1 - Fixed and Fiends Steve Doocy didn't realize that field mice would not get a Lincoln bicentennail Penny from your government. Personally, former weatherman Doocy and his fellow hosts, namely ex-beauty queen Gretchen Carlson and former sportscaster Brian Killamede, collectively could not find their asses with their hands even with a braille roadmap and a a GPS system.

Musical Segue: Fontella Bass' "Rescue Me".

Number 3: Jimmy Carter, the 39th President of the United States joins us to see us find peace in the Mideast, this time with Hamas and Israel, one of the many problems left by Adolph XLIII. He also slams the GOP House members as "robots who are told what to do". Oh, SNAP! That doesn't bode well for 2010...and beyond.

Still Bushed! (Postponed from last night due to President Obama's speech):
3 - Adolph will have filthy lucre paying lectures starting in Calgary. Alberta. Canada. And it begins on St. Patrick's Day. Whopee-damned-doo. 2 - Pete Domenci is getting supoenaed. 1 -
According to USA TODAY, 61% of the USA are in favor of criminal charges on torture and Adolph XLIII.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Rep. John Culverson (R-TX) says Nancy Pelosi's trip was on hold holding the GOP hostage.
Silver - Glenn Beck said that Henry Ford was against The New Deal. He didn't want to because he was a Nazi.
Gold - Jeff Fredrick told McCain volunteers about Obama and Bin Laden, and now errors on Lincoln's Gettysburg Address saying it was in the 1980's, and misquotes Charles Darwin, in 49 seconds makes eight errors. Lincoln was a Republican, and so is Fredrickson, er, Fredruck, er...

Number 1: Wait a second. You mean to tell me Turdblossom himself is on Twitter? And Adolph XLIII could join him there in cyberspace? Or be on Facebook?

(See above picture for my reaction.)

Paul F. Tompkins of VH1's Best Week Ever LOLs at you, Turdblossom and Fixed Noise collegues.

Have a nice Valentine's Day everyone.

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