Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Countdown "Plausably Live" Blog: 1/5/09

Guess I have some 'splainin' to do. I missed the live show tonight because I was zonked out of my mind after doing some running around, so taking a cue from NBC's Olympic coverage I'll do the delayed tape 1 AM Countdown reairing.

Now, there's fifteen days until Barack Obama's inauguration, 2,067 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq (add fifteen to that when it ends), 27 days until Super Bowl XLIII, 40 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training, and 90 days until Opening Night in Philadelphia for the 2008 World [BLEEPING!] Champion Philadelphia Phillies.

The Tie: Pink.

Number 5: And the winner of the Minnesota Senate race is...former legitamite comic Al Franken, and Illinois new junior senator is Blago's apointee Roland Burris. Franken beat Norm Coleman by 225 votes after the state's Supreme Court said no to rejected absentee votes. As we all know, Al Franken's good enough, Al Franken's smart enough and doggone it, people like Al Franken. Let's make the 2010's the decade of he...Al Franken. Meanwhile, Burris will fight to get a seat on the floor and Harry Reid and the rest of the Democrats will not allow it. Chris Cillizza joins us to straighten out the mess.

Meantime, Harry Panetta will be CIA director, but regular Countdown guest Bill Richardson, the New Mexico guv, will not be your Secratary of Commerce, mostly because of a minor scandal, so E.J. Dionne fills us in on this subject. Richardson, of Hispanic desent, had backed out.

Number 4: Mr. Obama comes to Washington, and he is stimulating $300 billion cut after meeting with all of the Congress, but the Republicans are calling it a Republican stimulus worth $775 billion, plus a $500 personal rebate per person, and yes, IT IS THE ECONOMY, STUPID! Paging Richard Wolffe, or was it Fred Arminsen as Richard Wolffe? The most powerful GOP man in Washington (which is like being head coach of the 0-16 Detroit Lions) needs to be like the Tennessee Titans offense and block and tackle just by testing Obama by stopping the American economy from recovering.

Oddball: In 1969, Brian Warner was born performing as Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson is 40! Don't invite Kathy Griffin to ever cover New Years Eve at Times Square on CNN with Anderson Cooper again after dropping an D-bomb to a heckler before Dick Clark drops his biggest ball. Come to think of it, don't ever ask Kathy Griffin to do that again anywhere... And we had a demostartion of a Tesla coil on an Aussie prof. Jackie Coogan did that on The Addams Family.

Best Persons: 3 - Jay Richardson, The Big Bopper's son, is now selling the older casket dad was buried in. Hellllllloooooooooo, baaaaaaby! 2 - The late Donald Peters won $10 million in Powerball. We say "the late" because he died last month at the age of 79. 1 - For those who invested with Bernie Madoff, we salute you, especially with the upraided third finger on both hands (The Stone Cold Steve Austin salute if you will).

Musical Segue: Steve Miller Band's "Take The Money and Run", a/k/a a tribute to J.D. Drew and his scumbag agent, Scott Bored-Ass.

Number 3: President Adolph XLIII's last gift to Obama: A war in the Gaza Strip. Just what he needs, Hamas and Israelis going at it with rockets, and the Lame Duck blocked a United Nations cease fire attempt unless it wants what it wants. Sadly, more than 500 people have been killed, all on Adolph XLIII's watch. Hillary Mann Leverett, former National Security Council Persian Gulf boss, joins us for an inside look at this.

Bushed!: 3 - Your tax dollars at work: incoming Interior secratary Ken Salazar gets a $235K bathroom. From his successor. 2 - Restore the Senate treaty power from two of Bush's Flunkies. Bombing 4000 people, ruining the ecological balance of our country and getting hyporocisy up their ass. 1 - Herr Goebels Cheney blames the financial markets and if we're better off now than eight years ago, he pulls the 9/11 card. Strong Bad gives you an F minus minus to you, Dickhead.

Number 2: Worst Person in the World, The Inaugural Class of Y2K+9
Bronze - Bill Cunningham calls those who are poor destitute and unknowing. Just like Bill Cunningham, who was a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker according to 700WLW.com, more or less...
Silver - Oh those crazy Alaskan State Troopers trying to serve warrants to arrest Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister's Daughter's future mother-in-law...because of the elections.
Gold - Remember when WorldNetDaily.com agreed on the whole Obama birth certificate thing? Joe Ferra, the guy who runs WorldNetDaily.com, was caught lying with everything down. And then some. Far right wing lunacy gone wild!

Number 1: Obama's daughters had their first day of school in Washington. Sasha with a pink, magenta and gray backpack, backpack and Milia were treated well with Mommy in tow, and we get perspective from NBC News' Presidential historian Michael Beschloss.

That's it for tonight last night, see you in a few hours. BTW, this was my fiftieth post for this blog. Congratulate me!

2 comments:

  1. Congratulations, James Craven, on your 50th post. Excellent reportage. We have decided we will "follow" you down the rabbit hole and have become a follower of the O-files! The Department of the Interior must be one plush place to tango, we think...

    LRLine & co.

    ReplyDelete