Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/6/09

There are 14 days until Barack Obama's Inauguration, 2,068 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 26 days until Super Bowl XLIII, 39 days until pitchers and catchers are to report for Spring Traning and 89 days until Opening Night at Citizens Bank "Chan Ho" Park.

The Tie: Crimson with small white dots.

Number 5: The Harry Panetta pick to the CIA was a "mistake" leak doing an end run on Senators Diane Feinstein and Jay Rockefeller with the toothpaste out of the tube. And Feinstein said that someone with experience is neeed to run the CIA, but later she retracted the comments, and President Elect Obama says that might be him on the phone now. Howard Fineman joins us to explain all of it, saying that someone outside the Obama team placed the leak. Feinstein will introduce a bill banning waterboarding and closing Gitmo, two legacies of the Adolph XLIII Reign of Error.

Why Leon Panetta? Hey look, everybody, it's Rachael Maddow, getting ready for her own show in about fifty minutes as well! Why is she here (not to promote the show) you ask? Feinstein is becoming a Demopublican voting on everything Bush XLIII had Mistaken For Freedom, shredding the Bill of Rights in the process.

Number 4: And so the 111th session of the United States Congress opened today and the new junior senator from the Land of Lincoln was not seated, nor was the man of the 2010s decade, he...Al Franken. In other news, the sun rose in the east this morning. And Monumental Earth Shattering Breaking News ("Oh, do tell me, tell me tell me!" Keep your diapers on Stewie...) Feinstein misread the rules. Roland Burris didn't have permission or ceredntials because his letter didn't conform to the Illinois Secratary of State's sig. Whoops! Harry Reid will meet with him tomorrow. And Norm Coleman sues the state of Minnesota for the right to get that seat back from Franken because the Republican governor won't officially sign off on the recount. INDECISION '09! Jonathon Alter joins us to straighten up the messes.

Oddball: In 1412, Joan of Arc was born. And we have a Moon Over Vail. A guy hanging upside down and pantless on the chair lift suspended from the ski lift. At the auto spa in Portland, Oregon, a thief was trying to rob the place, but an attendant made him soapy H2O armed, dangerous and clean.

Best Persons: 3 - Antonio Vazaquez Alba says that the USA will pull out of Iraq...and invade Mexico. 2 - Tangerika Woods gives birth to twins a year apart. 1 - Coultergeist portrays NBC caught as a liar wanting to promote on NBC and creates a story of being banned for life. You write the joke. I smell a Special Comment. No musical segue because of you.

Number 3: Obama's choice to be your next Surgon General...CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta? What's next, Judge Wapner as Chief Justice of SCOTUS? Say hello to Ezra Klein to tell you what he thinks. And there's been a C. Everitt Koop sightining selling LA Medic Alert according to Robin Williams. "I've fallen and I can't get the f*** up!"

Bushed!: 3 - The last minute pillaging of the enviroment is now falling apart. 2 - Fred Barnes asked Adolph what was the biggest national policy change, and it was to reform Social Security, taking it private. What happens if that happened? Financial disaster. 1 - Military Farewell in Ft. Myers were all lies, lies, lies... Comedic news though, next time you get a chance to duck from a shoe, throw it back, or do what Herr Goebles Cheney would do, make it an excuse to invade Iran.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Tom McCluskey of the FRC on the nomination was one of the lawyers to end feeding Terri Schiavo becoming number three at justice.
Silver - Comic Rush Limbaugh says Franken stole the race in Minnesota, blaming The Murdoch Street Journal.
Gold - Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister's future son-in-law didn't have the required high school diploma to run the electrical stuff at an oil field in Alaska. Blame it on the future mother-in-law. The Velveeta that keeps feeding political scandal in The Last Frontier.

Number 1: The Last Insult... It seems that Blair House, the house across the street from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue which serves as the interim residency for incoming Presidents was available. Margaret Carlson from Bloomberg who broke the news, is here to tell all of you why the clan of Obama was forced to a hotel. Hmmmm, racism much, Herr Adolph?

That's it for tonight, see you tomorrow.

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