Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/7/09

We have 13 days until Inauguration Day, 2,069 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 25 days until Super Bowl XLIII, 38 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training and 88 days until the baseball season begins in the City of Siblingly Love.

The Tie: Cream, navy and red stripes.

Number 5: Well, it's been a day and a half of Circus Burris of the amicabal resolution, and the Illinois Secratary of State, Jesse White didn't sign the official letter, and Obama wants this straightened out and straightened out now. Burris also has Jimmy Carter in his back pocket, who was at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue admiring the rug in the Oval Office. Clarence Page from The Chicago Tribune joins us to tell us it's like a cat walking backwards - spayed and neutured - in a mess. Blago should give up the ghost as his impeachment nears.

Meanwhile, Sen. Harry Reid promises to stand up to Obama. Chris Hayes of The Nation visits us to explain that Reid won't work for Obama, but with Obama. Meanwhile, Chris Matthews has announced he will not be running for Arlen "Magic BS Therory" Spector's Pennsylvania Senate seat. All I can say is "HAH!" Keith also says that he and Tweety will emcee MSNBC's Inauguartion Day coverage along with a million others.

Number 4: Obama met with Bush XLI, Clinton, Adolph XLIII and Carter, this after announcing a new overseer of the federal business, and what were they talking about? The Oval Office rug. Which was a Your Tax Dollars At Work $61K ivory rug that Eva Braun Laura selected and he hasn't stopped talked about it. All I can say is "Shut The F*** Up, Adolph! SEIG HEIL!!!" Richard Wolffe sweeps us under the rug on why he was so optimistic. And if you believe that, I have some swampland called The Everglades and a Bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

Oddball: On this day in 1903, Alan Napier, best known as bruce Wayne's butler on the TV version of Batman was born. A deer broke into the Frontier Bank in Iowa, and didn't get a lot of doe Sunday before the cops arrived. Looking for the bucks. Bad puns about money and deer. And remember yesterday's pics about the naked ski guy? The photog was suspended...more about this one later in Worsts.

Best Persons: 3 - Outside of Richmond, Virginia, a kid drove his mom's car to school. All seven years old that child. 2 - Richard Hayes shot his adopted cousin Michael Bass. Both are now in the cooler for different reasons. 1 - Joe the Mule saw smoke out of the house and became a animal smoke detector. Talk about smoke out of the ass...

Musical Segue: The Ohio Players Fire. A long story from my school days and Veterans Stadium/Spectrum/Palestra visits, but personally, fuck you, Frank Centola and his brother and cousins, where ever you are.

Number 3: Leon Panetta becomes a bug in the ass to CIA, no pun intended on the bug part. So what's new? One person says that Panetta is a political loyalist who wouldn't know shinola from good intel. Say hello to Tyler Drumheller who was a former CIA insider to tell you why.

Bushed!: 3 - Simon and Schuster announced the rights to the memoirs of Eva Braun Laura Bush for $1.6 million. Fiction section, please. 2 - Remember privitazing Social Security? The biggest do-over, when asked by Cal Thomas? Push immigration reform. 1 - More Medal of Freedom recieverships coming to everyone who has kissed your ass and put us in this unwarranted war, Adolph. See Catch-22 the 1970 film or Woody Allen for more information.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Billo is off to a bad start, and says Obama's Peretta nomination is not going to be terrorist material. Read credentials, much?
Silver - Former sports reporter Brian Killemede at Fixed and Fiends wants Vasoline and two fingers in the rearend of that naked ski lift dangler.
Gold - Congressman Cliff Sterns imploded at the Democrats coastal recess...and now he wants to reschedule Congress votes for the BCS National Championship Game. Watch all the damn band shots count along (and do a shot evry time it happens at Awful Announcing's live blog) which will reach record posting numbers manana (1/8).

Number 1: The porn industry wants a $5 billion bailout, and Michael Musto joins us.

Good night, everyone, with that one sentence I'm outta here, mostly because Becky at ERT knew better!

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