Friday, January 30, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 1/30/09

One more night from Tampa, and Dan Patrick joins us tonight to preview this football game Sunday between the Steelers and the Cardinals that they're doing a little pre-game show that's about five hours long...

The Tie: Lavender.

Number 5: "We have a bunch of idiots who are kicking our face in the sand." With those words, the angst of the $18B bonuses from Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.) who introduced a bill that no executive will make more than $400K/year, in exchange for TARP cash. Example: Merrill Lynch before the Bank of America takeover, usually paid their bonuses in January, but did it in December. In addition, union workers will get priority hiring under a new order by President Obama with Federal contracts. Richard Wolffe listens to a slightly louder Keith at The NFL Experience in West Central Florida (speaking over annoying announcements over the PA system).

The attack on Comedian Rush Limbaugh, de facto leader of the GOP, is coming from a group who is using the line "I hope [Obama] fails" from his radio comedy show. E.J. Dionne is here to spell it all out. Yes, before becoming the Minnesota Senator without a seat in his decade, he - Al Franken - wrote the truth about him: Rush Limbaugh Is a Big, Fat Idiot.

Number 4: And what a segue to this: The Republicans' leader resigned and Comedian wanted (are you ready for this one?) Miss Wasalia 1984 Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister to replace him. MRRRP! Cue The Price is Right Losing Horns, because after six rounds, Michael Steele, an African American (African American Republican, oxymoronic that is) won the vote, and Sarah Palin, Turkey Killer, will join the President at The Alfalfa Dinner (not named for Al Michaels, thank you) manana (1/31). Meanwhile, Eugene Robinson anaylizes the fact that the Steelers will do a lot of blitzing this weekend...and looks at Michael Steele. As for you, Mr. Comic Limbaugh, sorry you didn't win (again) so here's a case of Rice-A-Roni, "The San Francisco Treat" along with a supply of Turtle Wax and the home version of the Race to the White House 1876 Edition.

Meanwhile, Tom Dashell failed to list on his tax returns a driver while as Majority Leader of the Senate, but has paid it back with interest...stay tuned for more details.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Intel is still bad with the gal who told about getting her ass covered about 9/11. 2 - More torture authorization from Jose Padilla, Citizen of the USA. 1 - Thanks for the cartitude for those in Iraq. Ask Tony Blair, and he suffered lots of doubt. NOT!

Number 3: He's gone, and boy he still hasn't been forgotten by the late-night comics. We're talking about the impeachment removal of our old friend Ramblin' Rod Blagojevich, he of the helmet hair from the Illinois Governor's office yesterday (1/29). Pat Quinn officially began his interim term as Governor today, now putting a reform group under his watch. Here's the recap of all the real humor from the last stand of Balgo, compliments of JFein: Hair by Supercuts. Body by Milk. Mind by the certified insane. Humor by Late Night Comedians.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Steve Doocy of Fixed and Fiends looked into the stimuli...and parrots Comedian Limbaugh on ACORN. Dumb.
Silver - Glenn Beck lashed out on "clean coal" and didn't realize the stimuli has $2.4B for it. Beck supported clean coal last year. Dumber.
Gold - Rex Tillerson, CEO of Exxon Mobil had profits of $45.2B, which makes him WPitW tonight, but none of it goes out to the stimulai. Cheapskate.

Number 1: No, the pre-game show hasn't started, but at least Keith is there and so is his tag-team partner Dan Patrick to preview Super Bowl Ex El Aye Aye Aye...and the twenty one announcer, five hour, multiple guest anaylists and other NBC Universal family members pre-game Super Sunday in America show. Meanwhile, Obama has the Steelers because the Rooneys and coach Mike Tomlin endorsed him. He's inviting a few friends to his crib to watch along with Matt Laurer after their interview. Dan's also doing the trophy presentation. Why the hell couldn't they get Bob Costas?

We have a live blog this Sunday starting about 12:55 PM US EST, so join me and Stinky the Tap-Dancing Wonder Pig for our marathon. BTW, my mom is out of the hospital and is doing well, thank you.


  1. Eugene Robinson sure does know his football!

  2. Rod Blagojevich:
    Body by milk.
    Hair by Supercuts.
    Mind by the Certifiably insane.
    Jokes by the Late-Night comics.

  3. Dan Patrick trying to name all of the people on the NBC pre game coverage was hilarious.

  4. Hee. Love it when Dan and Keith are together. And, Dan has quite the arm.

  5. And Scotty, welcome to The O Files family!

  6. Well-phrased description of B-Rod, JFein! Like his mother before him (Sarah Palin, whom Lord Rushboo has decreed the official head of the Republican party), he's a workin' man (apologies to Joan Baez, "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down").

    And KO's having DP shake his hand to "warm him up" was priceless. Very high comfort level there, after so many years. They fall into that interview style like bread and butter. The NBC21? The NBC42? Hilarious.