Countdown "Plausibly Live" Blog: 6/30/09

Before airtime, my computer did another Stone Cold Steve Austin^TM impression on my Mr. McMahon^TM, with a double virtual middle finger, followed by a virtual Stone Cold Stunner^TM. (WHAT?^TM) So, this became a "Plausibly Live" blog of the 10 PM US EDT replay.

The Tie: Dark green.

Number 5: And the winner of the 2008 Minnesota United States Senate Race is...The Man of The Decade, He... Former professional comedian Al Franken (D). The Minnesota State Supreme Court unanimously voted 5-0 to end the lengthy recount process, ordering Gov. Tim Palenty (R) to officially sign the certification, and the defeated (after eight months) incumbent, Norm Coleman (R) conceded shortly after that. Al's good enough, smart enough and doggone it, the people of Minnesota are gonna love him for the next five-and-a-half years. The win also gives the Senate a filibuster proof 60 votes majority. Okay, Jonathon Alter, tell us what happens next...

And meanwhile, back in South Carolina, Gov. Mark Sanford (R) has said that he's had more than one affair than the one Down Argintine Way, like, um, seven of them, and of all places, one of those trysts was in New York City. NEW YORK CITY?! Alrighty, Eugene Robinson, Pulitzer Prize winner from The Washington Post, born in South Carolina, one-time resident of Buenos Aires and a visitor to New York City, coincidence between you?

Number 4: Today (6/30) as agreed to during the Adolph XLIII Gestapo, all USA military personnel have been removed from Iraqi cities in a turnover the keys to the country to the nation's leaders on what has been declared National Sovereignty Day in Baghdad. The only person against it? The Ayatollah Dickcheney himself, who had a hand in this and losing 4,300 who came home in pine boxes with flags draped on them. Also, the CIA Inspector General's report on enhanced interrogation techniques water boarding will be released tomorrow (7/1). Joining us is a former insider to all this, author of the book Your Government Failed You, Richard Clark.

Oddball: Hey, thirty years ago this week, a kid fresh from Cornell University got his first big job in New York City, working for something called United Press International radio. Whatever happened to him and his $170/week salary he got? Keith recaps the day he had a bad live experience with a fan in 1983 in DC, and Steve Ryan of KTNV of Las Vegas, we feel your pain. And in Rome, Georgia, another Atlanta Braves farm team, another managerial buring in Rome.

Best Persons: 3 - In Sri Lanka, a mosquito breeding ground was found in a factory that makes repellent. 2 - State Rep. Sally Kern (R-OK) blames everything in a proclamation. 1 - Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN Dwarf Planet Pluto) could lose her district in misreading those Census fill outs.

Musical Segue: Goodbye x 6 (Remember MTV's "Singled Out"? Those who got dumped sometimes got serenaded by that song.)

Number 3: Will "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" go the way of Pontiac? President Obama said, "Mmmmmmmm, could be?" Let's welcome Dan Savage (he of "Savage Love") to the program for some insight.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - According to Vanity Fair, Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister once signed her e-mails to friends "Trig's creator, your heavenly Father", and thinks she's Sarah Almighty.

Silver - Comedian Boss Limbaugh is really, really going off the trolley tracks again, saying Obama wants the 22^nd Amendment repealed. Same guy who introduced that bill three times during Adolph XLIII's Gestapo, too.

Gold - A San Diego County Sheriff's Deputy named Marshall Abbott ("Hey, Abbott!") went to a Democratic fundraiser, and maced a few elderly women because they were breaking a noise ordinance, including the woman who put Duke Cunningham into the big house.

Number 1: Michael Jackson left a will, but forgot to adopt his own kids...that were birthed by someone else's semen. (The inner Kenny Blankenship from MXC within me said "Heh heh, he said 'semen!'") Looks like this circus is gonna be in town for a few years. Let's welcome back ringmaster, er, reporter from the Los Angeles Times Andrew Blankstein from the Bill Plaske Memorial Around The Horn Studio at said newspaper.

And that's a wrap for tonight, we'll hopefully be back live tomorrow, computer willing.