Some Shiggles For The Holidays

Well, tonight (12/19/08) will be the last live editon of Countdown for 2008, but before we draw a curtain on the year and the program takes a two-week rest along with a break from the daily live blogging therein, I'd thought I'd share a couple of pictures of me in some outlandish costumes.

Yes, there's people who dress up for fun at anime, sci-fi conventions and other events was well. And I'm happy to say that I am a part-time cosplayer, and I have worn these costumes on Halloween in the past, living around the corner from some people who go bizarro and have a haunted porch, thus making my home a safe haven for frightened six-year olds. And so I'm posting these costumes and asking thee for your honest (be serious and don't curse, please) opining.

My first cosplay was as James, the bumbleheaded member of the Pokemon crime syndicate (and comic relief in the popular anime series) known as Team Rocket. Here, at the introduction of Pokemon Gold and Silver, I pose with a water bottle in one hand and Ash's Pikachu (a/k/a "The Twerp") which I "borrowed" from him (I actually bought it at a dollar store in reality from a New York Yankees Pokemon doll giveaway promotion) taking a break from the fun.

Then came a somewhat seriocomic attempt to do my first crossplay, where cosplayers of one gender portray one of the opposite sex. I chose James' in crime and ill humor on Rocket-dan, Jessie. And this particular picture you're seeing was posted on koatku.com and digg.com, and needless to say, I was charred over the napalmed flames but I recovered and got the last laugh on them.

This, needless to say was one of my more fun cosplays. Trust me, it wasn't easy dressing as a woman with purple hair looking like an evil diva which she is. And as I stated following the flaming incident over the interwebs, I actually got more compliments about this outfit than complaints. BTW, those two pictures was taken outside of 10 Rockefeller Center in New York City, where Keith now does Countdown. Many people said that I actually looked like a female, and passed with flying colors. So much so, after the event to introduce North America to the Pokemon Diamond and Pearl games at 10 Rock, I walked back to New York's Penn Station a mile in full costume, makeup and all (Sephora at 34th Street is the bomb BTW) and got wolf whistles from a couple construction workers in a truck. That's when I knew I had passed as a female. BTW, I wore a waist cincher, a padded girdle for the hips and fanny, and it's a flesh-colored shirt around my torso. And the most fun part was when I was interviewed by Misty's Japanese voice actress, and even posed for pictures that day with kids and adults who all dressed for the party.

And then came my youth...as a 47-year-old guy having the guts to dress as a 12-year-old girl. I actually wanted to have a fun costume for my next outfit, so I turned to Disney for it and one of its' most iconic characters of all. Alice Pleasence Liddell, who fell down a rabbit hole into a Wonderland of Mad Tea Parties, painting roses red and other nonsensical stuff Reverand Charles Dodgson (a/k/a Lewis Carroll) would come up with, and this picture is of the 2008 version I'm wearing.

This was a very fun outfit to do (and it still is BTW) as my mom had to hand sew the entire dress because her sewing machine was broken in the process. Hopefully for 2009, this gets an improvement on the actual pinifore apron and a new wig are in the works. By the way, this is supposed to be the Disney theme park version of Alice in Wonderland. And believe me, it was hard to find size 12 Mary Jane styled shoes, but I found them on the web at a low price.

Thanks for sharing the fun with me, and I hope your holidays are filled with joy, wonder, excitement and anything else you might believe in.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/18/08

Once again, I'll spare you the numbers except one: Seven days until Christmas.

The Tie: Red grid.

Number 5: Pastor Rick Warren was chosen to be the man to deliver the invocation at Obama's inauguration. Warren was behind being in favor of Prop 8, protecting his freedom of speech. The six million GLAAD members protesth loudly, saying he's the Generalimissio on the anti-GLBT movement. Dr. Joesph Lowery, co-founder of the Southern Christan Leadership Conference with this Martin Luther King Jr. guy, will deliver the benediction. John Harwood arrives to summerize this. Warren's honored to be delivering this, or else.

More on the outrage, Rob Boston joins us from the Americans united for the Seperation of Church and State, and the religious right will be heard again. Just when they thought they were kicked out, they pulled them back in. In short, "[Warren]'s Jerry Falwell in a Hawai'ian shirt."

Number 4: War crimes and inditements with Herr Gobels Vice President Cheney and waterboarding and torture and refusing a pardon. On Rachael Maddow's show last night (12/17), Sen. Carl Levin, the chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committe called for a impartial committee. You think impeachment shoulda been called for had the Democrats gained control of Congress in 2004? John Dean joins us to anaylize the boastful confessions.

Breaking News: Minnesota's Supreme Court must allow 1,600 absentee ballots and that's good news for legit former comedian Al Franken in unseating Norm Coleman. Meantime, Blagogate continues and no questions on Obama's presser today. In other words, No "Oddball", "Best Persons" and "Musical Segue."

Bushed!: 3 - Cheney says this administartion will be remembered. For what? For who? 2 - Nexus of Politics and terror finds that numberous terrorist attacks including that mispronounced Los Angeles skyscraper. 1 - Insulting the dead. In this case, Fixed Noise said no one thought terrorists would fly 767. Stop it, Adolph ignored it.

Number 3: Would you buy a car from automakers that will be going out of business? Rest easy, Adolph XLII's on the case as much out of $14 billion after the Dixie Republicans killed off that bailout in the Senate last week. What would it be like to be president? Herbert Hoover. Harry Shearer of Le Show and the sixth Simpson joins us from N'Awlins (remember that, Herr Adolph?) to throw a few bones there, and compares them to airlines.

Number 2: Worst Persons in the World, the Fixed Noise Hoya Paranoia Will Destroya Edition
Bronze - Generalimissio Billo said he saved Christmas in Massachuetts because of lowering their carbon footprint. And they're overcovering The Orally Created War on Christmas telling viewers that they're wrong.
Silver - Gretchen Carlson stands with Billo on the War on Christmas stuff while interviewing none other than right wing nutjob (and I'm ashamed to say it, native Philadelphian) Michelle Malkin, who had to calm the former beauty queen down.
Gold - In exchange for Obama becoming Time's 2008 Man of the Year, Inanity says that their Washington bureau chief will be in charge Veep-elect Biden's communications, and calls shenanigans, mularkey, blarney and their brothers as well. Next thing you know, Sean got calmed down by none other than right wing nutjob and humorist L. Brett Bozell saying that presidential election winners usually win Man of the Year. Now that's saying something!

Number 1: Flying Footwear Day Five. The Iraqi broadcast journalist wants a pardon from the government there. He's apologized about it, and wanted the pardon. Meanwhile, more protests around the world, and a marriage proposal to the guy who threw the size 10s. Late night comics aren't finished with it, either. And new web stuff showing Herr Bush ducking everything plus the kitchen sink. No, really.

And speaking of ducking, I'm ducking out for the night. Join me tomorrow for the final (live) Countdown. Of 2008. What were you expecting, Europe?

Countdown Live Blog: 12/17/08

I'll spare you the numbers tonight.

The Tie: Red with small white dots.

Number 5: Flying Footwear Day Four. A Bronx fireman protesting a small island fire station closing and a angered New Yorker fighting higher fares threatened to throw shoes at The Man. Meanwhile, in Iraq, more protests and humor keeping their soles on, and Matt Hasselbeck sister-in-law's angst after being left out of one of the White House parties let Joy Behar go barefoot on The View. (Thank you, Mr. McHale!) Meanwhile, Eugene Robinson is told that "There's no business like shoe business." (Insert groans here.)

Meanwhile in Central Pennsylvania, in "W. is for Whitewash," Adolph XLII continued the revisionist history tour by telling the War College that there hasn't been any terrorist attacks since 9/11 in the USA, when there hasn't been bringing up 9/11 and blaming himself. Richard Wolffe asks "What about Madrid, London, Mumbai and other places?"

Number 4: Once again, more "W. Is For Whitewash" citing that everything he says is a lie. Frank Rich from The New York Times drops by to tell us that Adolph Bush XLIII's legacy is limited to pure bull-you-know-what. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans and standing there saying that everything was okay.

Oddball: Let's celebrate the anniversary of Ford Madox Ford's birth. When is a store closed not closed at 3 AM in the morning? When a four-year-old playing with toys enters. Twiggy the Water Skiing Squirrel has The Generalimissio Billo Created War on Christmas on his mind.

Best Persons: 3 - Defense Secratary Paul Wolfowitz filled his BMW but forgot putting the nozzle back. Whoops! 2 - Budweiser loses a lawsuit back of their name trademarked by a Czech brewery in 1958. Czech please. 1 - And in San Antonio a robber at Mickey D's got nothing and did not love it.

Musical Segue: Insert a title here, cause I had no idea.

Number 3: Blagogate, Day whatever. President-elect Obama continues with yesterday's breaking story about the 21 wiretaps but the Chicago Sun-Times writers mentioned her name the same way Michael Weinersavage did in having his segment (and his show) cancelled on MSNBC, and won't release the report about him and Blago until next week. Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich agreed with Obama. The Illinois Supreme Court denied the unfit to serve lawsuits filed, so let the impeachment fun begin, and Blago won't assign a new senator to Obama's seat. The Chicago Tribune's Clarence Page joins us and fills us in.

Bushed!: 3 - Blackwater and Adolph downplayed the murder of the Iraqi Veep bodyguard. 2 - Condi continues the nonsense on Halliburton, and where all the money went. Go run the Detroit Lions, bitch. 1 - Intel again still whitewashing about Iraq and WMD all over the world.

Number 2: Worst Person in the World
Bronze - Fixed Going Out of Business Network's Publicity Department sends out a Holiday Card with Jim Cramer's likeness as The Grinch. Gee, Billo, what do you think? JBL got one I guess.
Silver - Berlin's Free Democrats propose that the poor people of Germany's capital go out acting like "The Pied Piper of Hamlin".
Gold - Former Beauty Queen and Fixed and Fiends co-hostess Grethen Carlson makes up the lies about the Blagogate Report with ties to Obama.

Number 1: Name your kid after what many consider the worst ruler in history outside the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (and my inspiration for his current name here,) have the local ShopRite deny writing his name on his third birthday cake, and go to Walmart instead. Rachael Maddow's here to start her show early to tell the story of little Adolf Hitler Campbell.

Pass the fruitcake, I'll see you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/16/08

There are 35 days left until Inauguration Day, there have been 2,056 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, nine days until Christmas, 15 days until the big ball drop at Times Square, 46 days until Super Bowl XLIII, 60 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training and109 days until Opening Night in the City That Loves You back.

The Tie: Silver and tan with black stripes with a Godfather pinstriped suit.

Number 5: Herr Gobles, er, Vice President Cheney says if he didn't know about the WMD in Iraq then there wouldn't have been a war in Iraq...and 2,000 Americans dead including Pat Tillman. Meanwhile, the guy who threw that shoe at Adolph Bush XLII said that his arm is broken after being turned over to the Iraqi authorities. Richard Wolffe said that Cheney's legecy will be like Bush's: "W. Is For Whitewash."

And has Gobels, um, Cheney admitted he did war drimes? What was done with Sheik Muhammed? Jonathan Turley says that question of was it a war crime was answered with a yes. Oh, if the Democrats were in charge four years ago, the impeachments would have been swift and fair. And remember, when it comes to waterboarding, "Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!"

Number 4: Nancy Pelosi wasnts no back door dealing while with Obama's new administration. And oh, those zany - ZANY? There's that word again! - Republicans, bringing up Elian Gonzalez on the nomination of your new Attorney General. Lawrence O'Donnell is back to translate this into human for the rest of us.

Oddball: This date in 1961, Bill Hicks was born poking fun at religion. And college hazing at University of the Phillipines is masked with the face. That is all. And deep dish dopiness in 30 minutes or less.

Best Persons: 3 - Michael Smith won the local spelling bee in Charlotte, NC and was greeted with a misspelled sign. 2 - In St. Paul, MN, Darnell Frazier claimed was Darnell Lewis. Check ID, then tatoo. 1 - And in Taipei a politician lost his toupee. And dropped trou.

Segue Music: AC/DC's "Caught With Your Pants Down."

Number 3: President Adolph will be signing bills protecting companies pushing new regs overruling your right to sue for everything but the kitchen sink. Might as well as add the kitchen sink to that list. Chris Hayes from The Nation is here to tell us about it, and welcome to the 19th Century.

Bushed, The Revisionist History Version: 3 - Iraq should apologize for the shoe tossing because we were being a guest. 2 - George Will said to Laura Ingrham that Adolph XLIII's memoirs as a sci-fi with Harriet Myers' nomination to the SCOTUS. 1 - Taliban elimination lies after all. The President is full of ****.

Number 2: Worst Person in the World
Bronze - Blackwater CEO says he accuses those on why he followed orders.
Silver - Turdblossom tells us to ignore Blagogate, disagreeing with none other than Turdblossom.
Gold - Comedian Rush Limbaugh on the ropes after Colin Powell, and they're not even maverick Republicans.

Whoa, Breaking news! Rahm Emanuel according to the Chicago Sun-Times was taped 21 times speaking on wiretaps on Obama's seat to Blago.

Number 1: And speaking about that shoe tosser, which replaces Blagogate as our new passion among those at Countdown, we're comparing it to the Western bar scenes in The Blues Brothers movie. YouTube is making fillums, there's an online game encourging you to toss shoes, and more motherlode comedy gold mine galore. Joel McHale from E's The Soup joins us from La La Land sans the Miley Cyrus ("It's Miley!") boyfriend ("It's a felony!") jokes.

That's it for me, so I'll see you tomorrow after I trim the Christmas tree...and then put up the Festivus pole right next to it.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/15/08

We have 36 days left until Inauguration Day, 2,055 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, ten days until Christmas, 16 days until the ball drops at Times Square, 47 days until Super Bowl XLIII, 61 days until pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training, and a mere 110 days until the Phightin' Phillies begin defense of the 2008 World Series Championship at Citizens' Bank (Chan Ho) Park in Philadelphia.

The Tie: Grey, black and rust stripes.

Number 5: As Austin Powers asks us tonight: "Honestly, who throws a shoe?" A Iraqi TV reporter threw shoes at the President. It was a singular toss of a size 10 shoe from a guy who was detained by the troops, and there were protests calling for the release of said journalist. What the f*** is this, Ukrane Political Federation Tag Team Wrasslin'? Welcome Time's Bobby Ghosh who explains that there's an election in Iraq soon. And we learn that all this was the fact he was a martyr...

Howard Fineman joins us in "W. is for Whitewash" and says that a Pakistani diplomat was a sad, slapstick event as a last murmur of eight years of failure in Iraq. That therory soliciting Bush XLIII's leadership as thrown shoes was the ultimate insult.

Number 4: And now the Blago story. Obama's report will be released after the holidays, and there was no discussions imapropriate or otherwise. The request at the behest of U. S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, and three-quarters of those interviewed in a survey said this hasn't affected his transistion to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC. Unless, you're John McCain and the Republicans. Hello, Eugene Washington. Nice new background as the preperation to HD come the second quarter of 2009 begins. When will it end? Quoting an old ad, "Only Blago's hairbrush knows for sure."

Oddball: In 1921, Alan Freed was born, the creator of rock-and-roll. Also was the first guy to take payola, a term Blago knows a lot about. Alas, the White House AV Club shows us the final Barney video, no not that Barney. I would like to see that other video where he snapped the reporters, and Michael Phelps makes another appearence on one of the networks of NBC. Did you know his favorite color is gold?

Number 3: Caroline Kennedy wants to seek the New York Senate seat, Colorado Senator Ken Salazar will become Secratary of the Interior, and in Minnesota, the Senate race recount continues between Norm Coleman and Al Franken. CNBC's John Harwood is in studio tonight to tell her story as it were.

Number 2: Worst Persons in the World

Bronze - Fixed Noise changes their logo to green not for the environment, but for the holidays. There ya go, Billo.

Silver - Oh here we go about Shinsheski again. Calling Mularkey, BS, Blarney and the brothers therein!

Gold - There's been a Glenn Beck sighting as he talks and turns into being worse than "Joe The Plumber" on Hilary...oh, pluh-eeze!

Number 1: Tonight, the top half of the Twenty Five Worst Political Financial Scandals. So, where does Blago belong if anywhere? And who is the top "graft" pick? Click the link to find out.

I'm off to watch WWE Raw. See you tomorrow.

Football Night in America Live Blog: 12/14/08

Hi there, and welcome to the Week 15 Live Blog for Football Night in America.

It's been quite a week, several teams have been eliminated from the playoff chase, the Cincinnati Bengals actually won a game for the first time since the Second World War, and the Tennessee Titans lost in their ancestrial home. Bob and Cris will start the ball rolling, Tiki's in Irving, Peter's in the studio and the Bus is in the Swamplands tonight. And now, hereeeeeeeee's Keith and Dan!

Seahawks 23, Rams 20 - It's guaranteed that the Hawks will beat the Rams, and this marked eight in a row in the most meaningless game of the day.

Chargers 22, Chiefs 21 - Cris wanted Norv Turner fired. We have it on tape. And so do a lot of Southern Californians, even Signal 2 Noise at awfulannouncing.com wants him sacked.

Bengals 20, Redskins 13 - Clinton Portis is still in the Jim Zorn doghouse. Joe Gibbs, paging Joe Gibbs!

Jaguars 20, Packers 16 - Keith: "It's 7-0, Jack..." early...and the Pack is out of the postseason. Buster Chiller Horror Theatre. The laughter you now hear is aimed at Packers mismanagement for trading that Favre guy.

Colts 31, Lions 21 - The Lions are now 0-14, tying the '76 Bucs and the '80 Aint's for futility at the start of the season. Jim Rome Is Burninating is still cheering for the 0-16. BTW, Colts cheerleaders hot in blue Santa suits.

Falcons 13, Buccaneers 10 (OT) - All day, all year, Michael Turner runs amok for 152 yards, but Jason Elam walks off with the overtime field goal from 34 yards with our contesti watching. Saints have been eliminated with Falcons win combined with their OT loss to Da Bears.

Texans 13, Titans 12 - Titans more than likely caught looking ahead to Steelers next week, when home field in the AFC at stake. Kerry Collins looked according to Cris "Phil Collins", as Dan responds "In the air tonight".

Dolphins 14, 49ers 9 - The Niners post their number nine, number nine, number nine and it wasn't Marino vs. Montana, and David Martin at The Pentagon (Another news reference) scored a touchdown. We can read Joey Porter's lips and he wasn't praying.

Jets 31, Bills 24 - This Brett Favre thing is working out very well. All the Jacksons get into the end zone and we get an semi-impromptu Michael Jackson Puppet Theatre from Keith. Whoo hoo hoo. Jeff Triplette has another accident breaking his nose, and made the Michael Turner incident tame by comparison.

After Bob reminds us (by himself) about winning Super Bowl XLIII tickets...

Patriots 49, Raiders 20 - Randy Moss returned to Oakland, and we had back-to-back touchdowns on kickoff returns for the first time since October 2000. Bill Belechick won his 100th game in the regular season as Pats coach, and not all of them this year, or it would be a record.

Vikings 35, Cardinals 14 - Keith will have shout outs to everyone (except Billo). Game over at halftime, when it was 28-0 Vikings.

Panthers 30, Broncos 10 - I don't know what they did on the camera lens in frozen Colorado, but Dan didn't want to know. Carolina has the best offense in the NFL, and no one will try to stop them.

Steelers 13, Ravens 9 - We had controversy! Ray Lewis starts us off with Surfin' USA, and Rothlisberger was in more trouble than Blogo! Keith had to get tomorrow's #5 story in, but Santonio Holmes was not in the end zone as the ball failed to cross the imaginary infinite goal line plane.

Enjoy Giants-Cowboys everyone, and I'll be here for Countdown tomorrow (12/15) when Keith returns.

UPDATE: The G-men were declared MIA as they lost to the Cowboys, 20-8.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/11/08

We have 39 days until Barack Obama's inauguration, have seen 2,051 days since the declaration of "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, have a mere two weeks until Christmas, 20 days until Dick Clark drops his bigger ball on Times Square (and becomes a permament landmark atop One Times Square afterward), 50 days to plan that Super Bowl XLIII party, 62 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training, and 113 days until the Philadelphia Phillies begin the defense of their 2008 World Series Championship.

The Tie: Lavender again.

Number 5: President Bush XLIII thinks the Blagojevich mess is serious, and it now goes to impeachment in Illinois. What an original idea! Why didn't they think of that in DC? Even president-elect Obama was appaled - twice - over this mess, he didn't speak to the gBay man at all about it, and his office denied everything. Blagojevich has become the obscene Monty Hall, trying to make a deal for what's behind Door Number Two. Meanwhile, The Tribune Company is calling for supoenas on this, as they were shafted by the Illinois Governor over money for the Cubs' sale of Wrigley Field. Obama's still calling for his resignation and isn't getting it right now. You think the Illinois Lesiglature will now force this? Once again, Richard Wolffe in Bahstin, pahking his cah near Havahd Yahd, joins in to say are there others on behalf are in the dangerous gray area. And you thought his accent was funny?

Number 4: Car Bailout, Day 7. Those whacko far right wingnuts from the Good Ol' boys Party who are from states that have no USA-based car makers are out to bust the UAW because of that mythical $72/hour job when their states have lower saleries. More concessions because of that, eh? The UAW's already on board with Plan A, and helping non-American companies will kill Chrysler and GM. Daniel Gross answers that everyone in Motown is on life support. UPDATE: The South will rise again by killing off the Union of auto workers, just as the Republicans killed the bailout bill.

Oddball: In 1953, Bess Armstrong was born. And we visit Parliment in the UK where Prime Minister Gordon Brown says he saved the world, not the banks in the UK. In Greece, an overdressed streaker on the soccer pitch gets tripped by a player in a skullet who got the red card for violent conduct. And there's another reason that socer is the world's sport. And in a publicity stunt in Japan, we saw penguins in Santa suits. Generalisimo Billo The Clown was plaeased about the War on Christmas.

Best Persons: 3 - Four pizza thieves took a lot of money and four pizzas, and the cops followed their footprints in a snowstorm. 2 - John McCain is selling office supplies...not on QVC though. 1 - The Chicago Blackhawks were taking a three-day vacation until GM Dale Tallon (former color man) lost his father, so they voted to rent buses to their funeral.

Music Segue: None.

Number 3: Houston, YOU have a problem. A NASA represenative wants to meet with Obama face-to-face about a review of the project of living on the moon by 2020 after a heated exchange at a holiday party. Mark Matthews from The Orlando Sentinel, co-writer of the story, tells all about Mike Griffin, the rep and the story about this.

Bushed!: 3 - Twenty four more citizens medals were awarded...one to Chuck Colson of Watergate, who later found religion and consulted Adolph Bush XLIII. 2 - The regional head of the DHS was in trouble and arrested in Boston, and now Secratary Michael Chertoff is feeling the heat of illegal aliens working for them cleaning their house. 1 - The endangered species stuff will be overturned in 39 days after Adolph XLIII singed orders. Worst. President. Ever. Again.

Number Two: Worst Person in the World

Bronze - Steve Ruhle got an e-mail of Michele Obama in her victory night dress right next to a black widow spider Photoshop with a description and boy is he sooo sorry.

Silver - Billo The Clown and Dick Morris mispronounce Patrick Fitzgerald's name as Gerald Fitzpatrick. Is it coincidence that the Northwestern football coach is also named Patrick Fitzgerald?

Gold - Former beauty queen contestant Gretchen Carlson and Billo The Clown are tied to anti seminites and white supremacy guys on this War on Christmas, and it wasn't Billo's fault and now they're carrying it again as it was written back in 1995!

Number 1: Who are the bottom half of the 25 most financially corrupt politicans of all time? Let's pay a visit to the recently reopened Countdown Hall of Fame, shall we? The top 12 will be unveiled on Monday.

Meantime, have a good night and a good day tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/10/08

There are 40 days until Inauguration Day, we have been going 2,050 days since the declaration of "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 15 days until Christmas, 51 days until Super Bowl XLIII and 63 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training.

The Tie: Red and gold holiday stripes.

Number 5: And "Canidate #5" is... Jesse Jackson, Jr. and he denies it. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevch wanted him and went back to work waving them off. Happy 52^nd Birthday, sir. All that was talked about was that Senate seat Obama's abandaning, and the state house will consider impeachment along with the Illinois Supreme Court declaring him incompident to work. Meanwhile, Obama's approval rating is 2/3 thumbs up, and nearly 4/5th of the survey interviewees say that they won't miss Adolph Bush XLIII. Chuck Todd is in studio to discuss everything, and says Jackson the younger is out of the running.

Hey look, it's Richard Wolffe, everyone. "What are they thinking?" Criminal behavior, greed, graft, a trip to the big house, we get it all. There's two presidents right now, and we won't hear the end of this. And calling the president-elect a "M*****f***er" demerits you a ton of brownie points, just like Billo The Clown said about certain Harlem restaraunts on iced tea.

And there's a theme to the rest of the news, mostly about the world's oldest profession.

Number 4: Adolph XLIII is okay with the car bailout, most of the Democrats are okay with giving Chrysler and GM $15 billion, but the Republicans from the far-right whacko wing aren't, namely the Alabama twins, who don't have an American-based factory in their state. Now it looks like the UAW's getting screwed. Sen. David Vitter from the Republican nut house in Louisiana says the cliche about putting the car before the horsepower, and this from the guy who has been in the phone records of the DC Madam. Fillibuster? Hell, I didn't know her! Chrysler is in trouble and they're on the hook if they fall. Chris Hayes from The Nation drops by telling Keith he's getting $1.18 in the mail. UPDATE: The House passes the bill.

Oddball: In 1915, Woodrow Wilson got married in the White House. Question: What did she do when Wilson popped the question? Answer: She fell out of bed. Remember the turkey who sacrificed his life for Tina Fey's evil twin sister? It was sold on eBay for $225. One bid. In Fa-La-La-La Land, the Jingle Cats are back in the continuing War on Christmas. And in Lebanon, we see the world's largest potate. All 24 pounds.

Best Persons: 3 - Honesty Knight was stopped for a traffic violation, and lit up a joint in front of an indiana State trooper. 2 - Joe The Plumber said he throws John McCain under the Straight Talk Campaign Bus when he asked about the bailout and was appaled by the comments. 1 - An Aussie astronomer says Christmas was all the way back in 2 BC... On June 17th. The War on Christmas continues again.

Segue Music: Earth Wind and Fire's "Shining Star."

Number 3: The new senator from New York to replace Hilary Rodham Clinton could be...Fran Dreschler? Gov. Mike Patterson, who had talks with Caroline Kennedy about Hilary's replacement hasn't spoken the The Nanny yet. Margaret Carlson joins us to enlighten us. Gov. Patterson got his job when his predecessor resigned for being a call girl's number.

Bushed!: 3 - Union busting bringing to the ATF ordering the rights to 1,500 employees to unionize...threatening national security. 2 - Preston Hollow in Dallas will be the new retirement home of Adolph Bush XLIII. Why do you care, Todd Gilman, because African-Americans aren't allowed? 1 - Condi Rice was praising Obama, and then NPR and the Gitmo question and she objected. Thanks for the torture, bitch!

Number 2: Worst Persons in the World, All Fixed Noise All the Time
Bronze - Dick Morris continues the War on the Clinton on Inanity's show. Got hookers?
Silver - Steve Doocy of Fixed and Fiends says that when they get attacked it never goes over the top. Tell that to the guys at The New York Times who had their pictures altered to look like dogs and other stuff.
Gold - A Fixed Noise censor for bleeping Billo The Clown's name, given to Billo The Clown in absence. Pot humor abound, and you thought Pirate Rupert has the stash? Jabba the Hutt?

Number 1: And as Gov. Blagojevich has become the Boss Tweed of the new milennium, the comics have made it Point One. There's something about this after holding up money for a children's hospital. Bleeps abound, Warren Buffett, and here's Allen Havey to start the roll. "Comedy platinum from the blood red diamonds of Ivana Trump's arrears."

All this talk about prostitution have made me want to take a shower, and that's what I'll do, so I'll see you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/9/08

There's 41 days until Barack Obama's inauguration, 2,049 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 16 days until Christmas, 52 Days until Super Bowl XLIII, and 64 days until pitchers and catchers report Spring Training.

The Tie: Brown.

Number 5: The dead still vote in Chicago, but Rod Blagjoevich wanted to sell President-elect Barack Obama's Senate seat, and 76 other reasons for personal and professional gain. Fed prosecutor Pat Fitzgerald says that the guy who wanted to take some Lincolns in the Land of Lincoln, yup, the same guy Fredo wanted to sack! Barack had no comment, and says he had no contact with the Illinois Governor's office. Wiretaps? It's f***ing Watergate all over again. Speak for yourself. He also wanted to withhold money to the Chicago Tribune in the sale of The Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field unless he had 'em sack the Editiorial Board. Well, Clarence Page says he's all that and a side order of chips as well.

Jonathon Alter says that Rotten Rodney still will make the Obama replacement call unless he's impeached, but as they say, checks and balances are as crazy as Bill Orally's cred. There will be more than likely be a special election sometime in 2009 or 2010 until then. Who was "Canadate Number 5" in the wiretaps? We'll never know. And in his last "official" act, the Governor will have to tell Bank of America to pay that Chicago window and door factory ASAP.

Number 4: The GOP wants to let GM, Chrysler and Ford to die. Both of the Alabama senators want to fillibuster mostly because their state has no American car makers. Meanwhile, Bush XLIII will be appointing the new Car Czar and then he'll be fired by Obama. Lawrence O'Donnell's here to speak Bostonian about the "Cah Czah". Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi wants no part of this, not does Congress for that matter.

Oddball: Happy birthday Buck Henry! Let's go Down Under as a rhino is in heat running around following his escape from his cage at the zoo. And then there's a lady in Austria created a obstable course for mice.

Bushed!: 3 - Harriet Myers dumb nomination to the Supreme Court. Duh! 2 - Gitmo detain and keep them in there, and theose who plead guilty withdraw them? Who screwed this S*** up? 1 - The idea of the improvised roadside bombs were there according to The Pentagon. And now you know why we are in the losing war.

Number 3: Hey, ever wanted to play the role of Billo the Clown at home? Well, thanks to a leak from the Los Angeles Times we get the talking points as we continue the "W. Is For Whitewash" memories. Check that, it's a brainwashing by stating he kept us safe...for almost seven months, and all the aches and pains including Osama Bin Laden. Worst. President. Ever. Keith goes over Adolph XLIII's lies. Seig Heil!

Number 2: Worst Person in the World
Bronze - George Will warned against the restating of the Fairness Doctorine. Which is why we have Limbaugh, Weinersavage, Inanity...and speaking of that last guy...
Silver - Inanity was paniced about Ted Stevens' case and tried and guilty...and he wanted a fast trial.
Gold - Billo wins his second time in a row, this time against Newt Gingrich, and when Billo's Brownshirts sent a The New Yorker producer to stalk him? He lied.

Number 1: It's official. Jay Leno's here to tell us he'll move his late night fun to 10 PM ET/PT every weeknight, and he gets a few shots in on the Illinois mess, saying he wanted to buy that seat. Yeah, the only seat I buy is a Sunday season ticket for the Phillies.

Well, that's it for me, I have to go and do my laundry. See you tomorrow.

Flex Part 2: Giants-Panthers in, Bolts-Bucs out

As reported two weeks earlier, as expected, the San Diego Chargers-Tampa Bay Buccaneers game is out of the December 21 Sunday Night Football date, and the sexier for Home Field advantage in the NFC Playoffs Carolina Panthers-New York Giants game at The Swamplands is in. Thanks the Bolts' recent plunge in the AFC West for this.

The next (and last) flex will be for the final game of the season. They will have to wait until Sunday afternoon's games are completed that day to make a final decision on what game it will be. I predict that it will not be Lions-Packers for the 0-16.

Countdown Recap: 12/8/08

As I said on Sunday (12/7), there was no live blog because of a prior committment that went awry because of a bad cold. A really bad cold. However, thanks to reairings and the Countdown interweb site, here's what I missed in the live blog.

The Tie: Lavender.

Number 5: Now the car makers want $15 billion...in exchange for the control to a "car czar" as it were. Maybe they are taking Michael Moore's idea seriously. Richard Wolffe is here to brake it down (spelling pun intended).

And can the Grand Older Party regain control of Congress in 2010? We get an answer from Eugene Washington: Slim and none.

Number 4: The news that former Adolph Bush XLIII enemy Gen. Eric Shienski, USA Ret. to be Obama's new Department of Veterans Affairs head means his former teacher in Military College teacher, Col. Jack Jacobs, USA Ret. joins Keith to outline his teachings for him.

Oddball: Belated birthday greeting to Ron Dugay's former girlfriend, Carol Alt. Hail Mary in a CAT Scan. Hail Mary on a CAT Scan. A Lion in London's Trafalgar Square is talking about spending your holiday in Jolly Old England.

Best Persons: 3 - Ken Blackwell wants tio be the new Republican leader because he survived an interview with Keith, plus he's the oxymoron of the party: a black guy. 2 - Stay classy, Fox Sports for shooting video while Vikings owner Zygi Wilf is delivering a postgame speech avoiding a loss to the 0-13 Lying Downs, and accidently showing a players...manhood. 1 - Robert Jones takes the car out for a spin in Wales, waving to everyone. The car is registered to his daughter...all of thirteen years old. Say goodbye to the car and your license for two years, sir.

Segue Music: Scandal's "Goodbye to You." (Played a lot after visiting pitchers have short outings or managers get ejected.)

Number 3: SCOTUS denies that goof off lawsuit about Obama's citizenship. Arriana Huffington joins Keith to revel in this victory.

Bushed!: 3 - Bank of America are douchenozzles after taking $15 billion from us and then denying a window maker in Chicago their line of credit, and the company announces they're laying off everyone on three days notice, so there's a sit-in going on. Obama supports it, the disgraced Governor of Illinois supports it and says it won't do business with BoA anymore, and the Adolph Bush XLIII Administration response was none. "Daddy, what were you doing in jail during the bailout?" 2 - The five Blackwater mercinaries will now face 35 charges of murder among other things. 1 - No less than The New York Times in an Op-Ed pages articles slams the White House for bad intel for a war we did not want to be a part of.

Number 2: Worst Persons in the World

Bronze - First, congrats to the family of the late Joe Gordon for his induction by the Veterans Committee of the Baseball Hall of Fame. Now the bad, they failed to get any post-1943 players elected including Dick Allen, Ron Santo and this guy named Gil Hodges, who led the Miracle Mets of 1969 to the World Series championship. Oh, he was also apretty good first baseman for the Boys of Summer.

Silver - Former teenage idol turned angry right-wing whacko Pat Boone says that Prop 8 will be like Mumbai all over again.

Gold - Billo The General Of The Imaginary War On Christmas writes a "holiday quiz" for Parade Magazine. First prize? A copy of A Bold Fresh Piece of Insanity signed by Mr. Orally. Second prize? Two copies.

Number 1: Jay Leno's staying on NBC, and will move his talkfest to 10 PM ET/PT in the fall, allowing Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Fallon to steam under their collars. Meanwile, Hello gorgeous, Barbra Streistand kisses Adolph Bush XLIII at the White House when she wanted him impeached. *Linda Richman impression* Excuse me, I'm feeling a little verklempt here, talk amongst yourselves. Here's a topic: The Holy Roman Empire wasn't Holy, Roman or an Empire, discuss. It's like buttah! Also, Elizabeth Hasselbeck gets her panties in a twist when Obama's former pastor outs her in an interview for being radical. Christan Finnegan wades through this. Now this is the Countdown I remember.

That's it, I'll catch you at 7:55 PM EST for the Live Blog tonight.

No Live Blog for Countdown Tomorrow (12/8/08)

I will be at the Wachovia (soon to be Wells Fargo) Center for WWE RAW tomorrow night, but I will have an old-school "Either Relevant or True"-style recap for you after 2 AM EST on Tuesday morning (12/9). Needless to say, Live Blogging will resume that night.

UPDATE: I just came down with the worst cold in the history of common colds, so going to the event is out, and I'll have no choice but to view it on my TV. However, the plans for this evening will remain the same.

Football Night in America Live Blog: 12/7/08

So how was your day? There is a "Flex Game" tonight between the Redskins and the Ravens for Capital Beltway braggin' rights. And if you know the drill, Bob and Cris...then Tiki in the swamplands of East Rutherford and Peter King...and The Bus joins in from Ballermour...and now, Herrrrrrrrrrrrre's Keith and Dan!

Maybe it's because of GE's cutbacks, but for the second week in a row, there's no players' room...

Titans 28, Browns 9 - Congrats to the Titans, first team to clinch a playoff berth and divisional championship. The Browns have not scored a touchdown in three games. It goes to four next Monday (12/15) in Philly?

Texans 24, Packers 21 - Remember when the Pack owned the month of December? Sorry, Brett Favre no longer lives here. Keith Brown and his Foot of Renown wins with a 40-yard walkoff field goal, a mighty roar went up from the crowd, and Mike McCarthy never blamed his communications system. Matt Schaub became the first visitor to ring up a 400-yard passing game on The Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field.

Bears 23, Jaguars 10 - Kyle Orton did not look like Randy Orton or Cowboy Bob Orton. Dan points out that a nearly naked fan was Steve McMichael.

Vikings 20, Lions 16 - You'll note that no 0-13 team went on to win a Super Bowl. You didn't know Tavares Jackson was on the roster? Jim Rome is Burninating is rooting for you to go 0-16, Lying Downs. Give up, lie down like the Lying Downs that you are...

Colts 35, Bengals 3 - "Aw, c'mon" Collinsworth says as if you have to change your luck, you need to play the Bungles except if you're the Eagles... Mark my word, Marvin Lewis will be gone after this year... According to our collegue JFein, firemarvinlewisnow.blogspot.com is available, so all you frustrated Bungles fans jump on now. Bungles have not scored a touchdown in el-oh-leven quarters as Harry Kalas will tell you.

Saints 29, Falcons 25 - Oh no, the Saints in Harry High School all-balck and Reggie Busssssssssh. Matt Ryan threw for 315 yards and Pierre Thomas, ABC News, the State Department scored three TDs. The NFC South is the toughest division in football outside the NFC East.

Eagles 20, Giants 14 - Did you know that you can go to NBCSports.com and win Super Bowl XLIII tickets? Cris and Bob will browbeat you to go to the site and enter. Meanwhile, an ill wind blew through East Rutherford, and it was not good for the defending champions. The Birds got greedy again a la the a few weeks ago against the 49ers, a blocked FG is returned for a touchdown. Brain Westbrook ran for 131 yards, scored two TDs in the win. Meanwhile, the Giants back in to the NFC East title. Details to follow.

Broncos 24, Chiefs 17 - Nothing says "I love you" like bumping against your teammate. The Chefs have now lost eight in a row at Invesco at Mile High. Yes, firehermanedwardsnow.blogspot.com also available. So is firerodmarinellinow.blogspot.com too.

Cardinals 34, Rams 10 - Congrats to the Cardinals on winning their first division title since 1975, and in turn, getting their first home game since 1947. The first in St. Louis, the second in Comiskey Park, Chicago for the Arizona, nee Phoenix, nee St. Louis, nee Chicago, nee Normal (Street) Cardinals.

Dolphins 16, Bills 3 - The NFL's first regular season game in the Great White North was a Bills disaster. It was one degree in Orchard Park, and 72 degrees in SkyDome. Sorry, Rogers Communications, I despise corporate naming.

Patriots 24, Seahawks 21 - Junior Seau returned from retirement, and Teddy Bruschi is out. Seabags have almost mailed it in.

49ers 24, Jets 14 - It took six weeks, but the Niners gave up a rushing TD...to Brett Favre. That was the lowlight, next to Frank Gore's ankle injury.

Steelers 20, Cowboys 14 - What a game in The 'Burgh. Tony Romo looked like Yoko Romo (and yes, I own the property) today. The Stillers were down 13-3, and Ben Rothlisberger led the comeback, capped by an DeShawn Townsend INT return off Yoko Romo (Went there again!) for the pick six and the win. Myron Cope from the grave said "Quadruple YOI!" Finally, we see a half-naked Looney Toon dumping a bucket of ice cold H₂O on himself in slo-mo. Hypothermia, hello!

No Little Big Show until halftime, kids. Enjoy the flexfest.

Update: In a pretty good game, the Ravens beat the Redskins, 20-10.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/5/08

There's 46 days until Inauguration Day, 2,045 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 20 days until Christmas, 57 days until Super Bowl XLIII, 71 days until pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training and a mere several hours since O.J. Simpson was sent up the river in Nevada, and Billo The Clown announced he's ending his radio show in 2009.

Marc Shaiman, John C. Reilly and Jack Black are the special guests tonight to discuss Prop 8: The Musical.

The Tie: Brown, tan and beige stripes.

Number 5: W. says we're in a recession...Carl Lewis says "Uh-oh!" Unemployment is up 2/10th of a percent, the highest since 10/93, and Jonathon Alter is in studio tonight to tell us that the rest of the $700 billion bailout needs to be put out now. UPDATE: The Democrats have agreed in principle to a bailout of GM, Chrysler and Ford.

And What Do We Do Now? Robert Reich joins up as Bush XLIII confessed to the "R" word. And it could be a "D" word from Herbert Hoover. To avoid that, the states are helping with mega infrastructure projects. And we must have $2 from each of the Big Three and the UAW with an extra $1 from each of us.

Number 4: Lame Duck W. as in Whitewash says that failure raised chaos because we invaded Iraq, and there was a nucelar threat from Iran, and Al-Quida is still around. And then this: Iraq was longer and costly, and Chris Hayes from The Nation visits again, keeping Josef Gobels Vice President Cheney far away. In a soundproof bunker. In an undisclosed location.

Oddball: On this day in the year 1950, Paul Harvey began his newscast. And now you know...the rest of the story. An ice artist did sculpting until...Carl Lewis "Uh-oh!" In Berlin, baby polar bear Knut could be evicted because he's grown up.

Best Persons: 3 - Judge Jackie Glass about O. J.'s arrogance on video! 2 - Tina Fey evil twin sister Sarah Palin's latest makeup and hairstylist costs? $110K 1 - The Treasury Department still has their holiday party next week...after work...in the Cash Room. *facepalm* You'd think they'd join Disney, NewsCorpse and GE in cancelling the party.

Musical Segue: Couldn't make it out.

Number 3: Senator Caroline Kennedy, Democrat from New York State? Stay tuned, according to the governor's office. Al Franken could be Minnesota Senator if they find the missing ballots. Meanwhile, Norm Coleman still leads by almost 700.

Bushed!: 3 - Some holiday party at a consultant's office. Don't give up the day job. 2 - Mary Beth Buchannan, former Fed Attorney in Pittsburgh won't quit. 1 - Bill Kristol and his buddy Turdblossom want a round up of those who are getting deportation. Adolph XLIII was kicking out a Muslim.

Number 2: Worst Persons in the World
Bronze - Peggy Noonan says a bunch of holiday party goers said Adolph XLIII kept us safe. And who was president 9/11/2001.
Silver - Billo the clown's rant on Tuesday, and some guy in Seattle came back with the athiest sign from Olympia. Also, Billo ends his radio show, and will focus on the TV show. Thanks for keeping us competitive.
Gold - Salem, Mass. DHS boss hires illegal ailens to clean her house. When she's supposed to keep them out.

Number 1: Last night, Countdown debuted on TV the interwebs sensation Prop 8: The Musical. Tonight, we get a visit from Marc Shaiman, John C. Reilly (Will Ferrell's sidekick) and Jack Black about the story behind the "viral picket sign".

That's it for me, have a great weekend, and I'll be here Sunday (12/7) to liveblog Football Night in America for you.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/4/08

There are 47 days left until the Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, 2,044 days since we have had "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 21 days 'til Christmas, 58 days until Super Bowl XLIII and 72 days until pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training.

The Tie: Rust colored with some spots.

Number 5: "We've made some mistakes." The Big Three needs $35 billion for a bailout. Congress says, akin to President Ford, Gerald to New York City Mayor Casey, Hugh in 1974 "Drop Dead"? The CEOs who took private chartered jets to DC last time, rode in hybrids. Now it's Russian Roulette according to the Senate Finance Committee. Okay, Howard Fineman, will General Motors go belly up? Only if they go to the Treasury...but gas guzzlers will continue to be made, much to the chagrin of both Michael Moore and the UAW.

Leo Donofrio sued to block Obama from the ballot in New Jersey, and will now have a snowball's chance in hell of being in front of the Supreme Court with it and disqualify him from winning the White House. Prof. Jonathon Turley says it's not 2000, boys and girls, there's two chances according to Hawai'i's Department of Records who showed a couple websites his birth certificate: Slim... And none. Hold on, Slim's packing up.

Number 4: What Do We Now about Iraq and torture? The three member committee in Iraq today OKd a new timeline that calls for a pullout in 2011. A dozen retired military types met with Obama, including Maj. Gen Paul Eaton, USA Ret., who joins Keith with rational answers. How did we get here? Well, it wasn't the work of Jack Bauer in 24!

Oddball: While Keith lit the 30 Rock Christmas (not holiday) tree in Studio 1A, CBS 2 was unlucky in Bryant Park. And we have robots pole dancing in London.

Best Persons: 3 - Shepard Smith of Fixed Noise and the War on Christmas. 2 - Barry O'Farrell introduces a bill that wants to make a law requiring breath tests before votes in Australia's parliment. 1 - Ralph Magazine in Australia was supposed to have freebies: 130K inflatable boobs...imported from China.

Music Segue: Floating In The Sea of Love...you figure that out.

Number 3: Tina Fey doppleganger Sarah Palin's wardrobe now $180K. From the GOP. Meanwhile, a Florida congressperson got a phone call from Obama...then she hung up, thinking it was a radio prank. It really was Barack Obama. Obama got punk'd, Ashton Kuchter. Hilary called her the day before to arrange for her call. And Ed Rendell talked about having no life to Janet Napolitano. She works 24/7, and like him, is having no life, except if counting being a pre-game and post-game anaylist for Comcast Sports Net Philadelphia is a life. Chris Colizza, come on down and explain it!

Bushed!: 3 - Global Warming according to the Energy Department: Greenhouse gasses up 10% from 2007. 2 - Gitmo officer resignee tells BBC says detainees were bad enough, but went to his priest and suggest resigned. 1 - Fredo slowly in the firing of attorneys issue supoenas to nobody. Looks like Gonzo picked a good year to give up the Bill of Rights.

Number 2: Worst Persons

Bronze - Sean Inanity lies about ratings. Yeah, Billo Jr. Set 'em straight, Keith. Inanity lost to Rachael Freakin' Maddow!

Silver - Aussie parliment member is blamed on God. Does He want a bailout?

Gold - A Massachuesetts trooper writes out a ticket to a pregnant woman under diress. In labor. In rush hour. Stay classy, Officer Giluchhio!

Number 1: Prop 8 The Musical starring Jack Black as Jesus, featuring Neil Patrick Harris, Allison Janney, Andy Richter, Margaret Cho, John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph, Sarah Chalke, Kathy Najimy and a cast of famous and otherwise semi-famous celebrties makes its' world TV debut...and creator Marc Shaman and Black will join Keith tomorrow night (12/05)

See you under the egg nog near the bowl of mistletoe.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/3/08

There's 48 days until the Inauguration of Barack Obama, 2,043 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 22 days until Christmas (and a tree lighting tonight next to Keith), 59 days until Super Bowl XLIII and 73 days until pitchers and catcher report for Spring Training.

The Tie: Pink.

Number 5: I'll see your six intel reports a week, and raise you seven, Adolph XLIII. Compitition between him and President-elect Obama is good with that. And more of "W. Is For Whitewash" which is now being called "The Bush Legacy" sponsored by none other than turdblossom, and he said if they knew there were no WMDs, they would have not gone to Iraq. Hello from Mid-America, Eugene Robinson to tell us it's all symbolic. "These are serious people who are willing to listen to you..." Excuse me, but I'd like to call Mullarkey and his brothers, Blarney, Shenanagans and BS to the stand.

And then the torture programs to the question "What Do We Do Now?" The incoming administration wants Gitmo closed, and no more torture in the CIA. Welcome "Matthew Alexander", who wrote a book about that under security reasons. And it's not effective. Surely, they jest. They didn't, and as the punchline goes, "not one was named Shirley." He wants the torture banned through all levels of the government. Good call.

Number 4: Tina Fey lookalike Sarah Palin got Saxby Chambliss re-elected as Georgia senator over Jim Martin and appeared on Fixed and Fiends to credit her. Bill Clinton as New York Senator succeeding his wife is being denied all over. E.J. Dionne is now saying that it was the WORP (White Older Rich Party) that turned out to re-elect Chambliss. Oh, Palin won't run for Senate from Alaska in 2010 for now, because the imcumbant female Republican says it's a brief whistle stop to her 2012 Presidential campaign. Also, in Minnesota, Al Franken says they're up by 22 votes while the official count says imcumbant Norm Coleman up by 303.

Oddball: Another Hackney School teacher gets well soon. And there's a walrus that plays the sax. I smell Milli Vanilli. In Bloomington, Illinois, they turn reindeer droppings into Christmas orniments, a clever segue into Bill-O's War on Christmas.

Best Persons: 3 - Experian says that the number three news show is Countdown. Ahead of the Billo-The-Clown Hour, but behind The New York Times and The Drudge Report. 2 - An Sunoco station in Pennsylvania had been robbed by someone in a paper plate mask. but they ran away after the clerk asked to remove that mask. 1 - Minor injuries to a cop in Houston (Hello!) after being rear ended by a drunk tow truck driver.

Musical Segue: "Twenty Four hous of drunk driving, man." That's all I got.

Number 3: Michael Moore talks about the pending bailout of the Big Three automakers. Moore's pitch? Give GM 1/6th of the $18 billion they want, based on the costs of the common stock. Treat it like FDR did: You can't make cars, build hybrids and mass transit. In other words "we'll own your ass," and that's all he's gonna say about that.

Bushed!: 3 - Pentagon had the highest recruitment reups up 20% from four years ago What's a few missing limbs, we ask. 2 - More on torture. An Arab was tortured for three months and confessed then into jail and got away. Call the ACLU. 1 - Gitmo and post-stress stuff on the current Attorney General. Looks like he's picked a bad week to give up psychiatric care.

Number 2: Worst Persons

Bronze - Sean Avery is a douchenozzle after making comments about famous ex-girlfriends. (Here's one of 'em.) Especially in the city where Dion Phaneuf, now happens to be one of the former girlfriends' beau.

Silver - Bill Cunningham teals us that a promo at the Cincinnati Zoo has been cancelled in conjunction with the Creationism Museum including a saddle on a dinosaur. All for the savings of one dollar...

Gold - Sean Inanity blames Obama's election on reading bumber stickers that talk to you. *palmslap*

Number 1: It's time for the annual attack known as the Bill Orally so-called War on Christmas. Here's the video proof for you.

They've lit the tree up in front of 30 Rock much like Billy Wagner blowing a sure save for the Mets, so I'll see you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/2/08

There are 49 days until Inauguration Day, we've had 2,042 days since "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, 23 days until Christmas, 60 days until Super Bowl XLIII and 74 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training.

Michael Wolff, the author of The Man Who Owns The News, the new Pirate Rupert Murdoch book, joins Keith tonight.

The Tie: Brown.

Number 5: W. is for "Whitewash". History says Adolf XLIII will be vindicated, and for the next seven weeks, it's still his world, and we're still living in it. We'd like to thank you, Herbert Hoover. Not one of the problems like the economy, stupid, Iraq, ignoring in-house memos and the intel quagmire saying there was WMDs in Saddam Hussein's reign. Says so in Charlie Gibson's interview and blames his dad. Nice going, Sparky. Howard Fineman, who's been following Bush XLIII for over two decades, says that he's had contempt for government. Now he's blaming the Clintoncrats for deregulation on even broadcasting...which explains Billo The Clown, Comedian Rush Limbaugh, Michael Weinersavage and all the other right-wing water carrying nutjobs.

Chris Hayes from The Nation joins us to answer the question of what about the good intel about no WMDs, and blames the Joseph Gobbels of this mess, Vice President Dick for browbeating the CIA into going to Iraq and deposing Hussein.

Number 4: Three fourths of the 2008 presidental campaign were in my home town today (12/2) for a summit meeting about the troubled economy, stupid. President-elect Obama, Vice Presindent-elect Biden and that noted Tina Fey Evil Twin, Sarah Palin, the latter one of 41 governors (including the California Governator, Ahnold) meeting at Independence Hall amidst the Feyesque distraction that Palin wants to run for the Alaska Senate seat in two years, and the current holder, herself a Republican, has said "JUST BRING IT." The state budgets are needing handouts, not hands. And we need your help, Obama tells them. John Harwood arrives to explain it to all of you. And yes, Obama is in charge of all this.

By the way, early reports finds Saxby Chambliss winning the Georgia senate runoff over Jim Martin. Also, frequent Countdown guest Bill Richardson will surrender his New Mexico Governor's seat to become Secratary of Commerce.

Oddball: On this day in 1954, Joe McCarthy was censured by the Senate. Get the message, Bill O'Reilly? And the latest tennis game, dare I say, en fuego. (Take that, Dan!) And stargazers saw cresent moon, Venus and Mars and won't be seeing it again until March 2052.

Best Persons: 3 - Howard Weitzmann objects to giving federal benefits to same sex partners based on I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Yes, a movie. With Adam Sandler. And Dan Patrick as a cop, which needless to say wasn't mentioned by Mr. Olbermann. 2 - Deborah Lawrence created a nine-inch ornament, and put IMPEACH BUSH on it. That takes balls and it's not being hung on the tree at the White House. Another gutless move by Adolph XLIII. 1 - Daniel Essek asked Obama to submit his birth certificate for all of us. And he's confused about it.

Music Segue: The Hardest Working Man in Show Business' Living in America (I FEEL GOOD!) This from the fourth movie in the series of five that should have been stopped after one film that was an Oscar winner.

Number 3: Quoth Esquire "Why is this man still laughing?" (Even from the grave.) The new audio tapes declassified from the Nixon Watergate Library included wanting to rename the party after thrashing McGovern in 1972. NSFW folks. Now we know where the Miller Standard comes from. Sorry folks, no edition of Bushed! tonight due to today's #5 story.

Number 2: Worst Persons

Bronze - Billo, now reversing himself on Gitmo. Ummmhmmmm...

Silver - Virginia Repblican boss Jeff Fredrick stands by the joke (if it was one) that Barack Obama is friends with some guy bomber...and blames the gotcha media.

Gold - A Utah state senator, Chris Butters, who lives in a Morman state, wants to introduce a bill to encourage people to say "Merry Christmas" at stores. Let The Imaginary Bill Orally Created War on Christmas continue.

Number 1: So, Rupert the Pirate and Billo The Clown hate each other. Let's get the facts from Pirate Rupert's biographer, Michael Wolff, author of The Man Who Owns The News. What will Uncle Keith do as Pirate hates Clownie? Contortion. Hey, Bucco, Keith gave you credit of getting Fox Sports Net off the ground, at least you have the Jolly Roger flying down the street.

And that's it for tonight. Join us tomorrow (12/3) when Keith broadcasts from somewhere else in the studio (or the neighborhood) while they light the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree.

Countdown Live Blog: 12/1/08

Fifty days until the inauguration of Barack Obama, 2,041 days since "Mission: Accomplished" in Iraq, 24 days until Christmas, 61 days until Super Bowl XLIII, and five straight days of turkey.

The Tie: The Color Purple, which is displayed again.

Number 5: As expected, Hilary Rodham Clinton will resign her seat as New York state's junior senator to become Secratary of State, while Susan Rice will become Ambassador to the UN, while Janet Napoliatano, the soon-to-be-former governor of Arizona will be the new Homeland Security director. Bill Clinton will ID all out-of-the country donors and because of this, while Indiana Senator Dick Lugar will vote for Hilary. Eric Holder will become Attorney General, responsible for restoring what was once the Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights that was shredded to pieces under Adolph Bush XLIII's reign. And Retired General James Jones will be in charge of the whole shebang post-Iraq. As announced earlier, Richard Gates will remain Secratary of Defense with new marching orders from Obama. Barack Obama says he's going to be responsable for everything, as Richard Wolfe joins us with a festive cravat for the holidays. Wolffe answers the question of how Gates will end our Iraq stand invasion by pulling out within the first sixteen months of the new administration, meaning April 2010 for the "cololition government" as it were, and will have his people - Republican or Democrat - in charge.

Number 4: Ask Not For Whom The Bill Toils, It Toils For Thee. Mr. Clinton is happy and proud for his wife, and will get clearance for any future speaking engagements as part of the nine-part writ on the whole process. Eugene Robinson is somewhere in America and says that there'll be an chance to use Bill Clinton to a great advantage in places like South Asia to work on some sort of deal between Pakistan and India and end their nuke testing. Look for progress and consign the attacks on one another to the history of the 2008 campaign. And until January 2013, a white male will not have served as Secratary of State, if things stay the same.

Oddball: In 1891, James Naismith invented basketball. So there was this debate in Romania and when one of the canidates spilled H₂O on their opposition, well let the fun begin. Remember that incident a few years ago in Tampa where someone went Geraldo on a cable access political show? Cue that footage. And in Jakarta, they're building the world's biggest edible Christmas Tree. One problem...it's not edible because it's made of steel.

Best Persons: 3 - AP said that teachers or students got notes for being late. From the MTA in New York. Keith's now learning about this. Four decades of riding the subway and he's not even knowing about it? 2 - Police in Somerset County, NJ that saw a man trying to contact him...and found out was a cardboard figure. And they called the SWAT team out for this? 1 - A short chase in Maine saw Brian Russell fleeing that the sheriff of Cumberland County into another county. He thought they wouldn't catch him there. Guess again.

Segue Music: The theme from The Kids in the Hall.

Number 3: In tonight's What Do We Do Now?, post-Indian terrorist attack in Mumbai (nee Bombay,) did Pakistani internal sources lead they way to the incident? The government did not do anything even with the incident. Keeping America safe was a bogus statement by Adolph Bush XLIII in an interview with Charlie Gibson on ABC. Steve Clemons answers all your questions as to how to tell someone else to practice restraint. It's going to be very hard to allow the esclation of what happens now.

Bushed!: 3 - In a radio interview, Bush will miss three things: Air Force One, the chefs and driving. 2 - One lender expected horrors. In 2006. Bowing to lobbyists, and no money down mortages led to the collapse. 1 - There was an oped in The Washington Post saw one ex-Special Ops man wanting to end the torture and the number of soldiers lost will be close to 9/11 because of this. Moral: Torture does not work.

Number 2: Worst Persons in the World

Bronze - George Will insisted the economy is doing great...and that is okay with one sector? Television.

Silver - Billo is hated at News Corpse, even Jabba The Hutt (Roger Ailes). But Billo The Clown is successful and they're all glued together.

Gold - And in the liberal books, Billo says he's a secular guy...this five years and eleven days ago, he brought up The War on Christmas...yeah...right...

Number 1: So it's Sarah Palin, the Tina Fey wannabe and Ludacris, the rapper, becoming the faces of the Georgia Senate runoff? I'll pass and watch WWE Monday Night Raw right now.

Good night everyone, drive home safely!