Monday, August 31, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 8/31/09

The Tie: Navy, maroon and Vegas Gold stripes.

Number 5: Kill The Bill. That's the Good Oldboysandgirls Party new stance by four of their Senators. Meanwhile, in a letter on Saturday night read at Ted Kennedy's grave called for access to health care for all, and earlier in the day, his grandson Max delivered the same message in a prayer. Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said that Ted had to compromise on it, and Sen. Bennett and Barasso (R-UT and WY) and Grasslie (R-IA) want to beat "Obama Care". Gov. Patrick (D-MA) will hold state elections on January 19, and Ted's widow will not serve as interim replacement. Lawrence O'Donnell repeats what has been said.

Who will be the next senator from Back Bay? Mama Bear Arianna Huffington joins us to throw darts at the bulls eye.

Number 4: Herr Goebles, The Ayatollah Dickheadcheney, went on Fixed Noise Sunday this past weekend, and says that the Obama administration (defending his enhanced interrogation techniques torture in the process) should be allowed to break the laws. Pot, kettle. Mr. Black would like to see you. Cheney didn't know who was in charge of the CIA end, either. The Adolph XLIII Gestapo approved everything and are immune to it. Raise his terrible level from red to maroon. Jeremy Scahill from The Nation rejoins us to read into the tea leaves.

Oddball: Frederic March was born 112 years ago yesterday. In Beijing, an assistant to a guy who dissapears into stuff. In India, pole pillow fighting.

Best Persons: 3 - Robert F. McDonnell, and his thesis claims that women in the workplace bad. 2 - Rear Adm. Gregory J. Smith sacks Rendon Group. 1 - Rep. Pete Olsen (R-TX) had a story about Brittney, and then it was a lie. And man, was he corrected by the Democratic Protesters in the crowd.

Musical Segue: "Do Re Mi" by Mary Martin in The Sound of Music.

Number 3: More Fun With Far Right Wingnuts Gone Carzy: Rep. Lynn Jenkins (R-KS) supported a pardon for Jack Johnson, whose opposition was "the Great White Hope" when she didn't know what it meant. Oops! Meanwhile, that douchenozzle who told three-time WPitW winner Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) claimed that he meant to call himself a extremist, not terrorist. Stay Classy, sir. And in Texas, Debra Medina is running for governor in the Lone Star State, and she - like Rick Perry - wants Texas to leave the USA. She claims that there's going to be a war. Clarence Page, where the hell are their marbles?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Betsy McCollugh went on CNBC to lie her brains out on the health care bill. Why?
Silver - Pat Boone claims that cancer cells as "miniture Darth Vaders from Star Wars". Claims it's liberalism.
Gold - Michael Schuler went on ClusterFixed and Fiends to claim terrorism is going to happen. Traitor.

Number 1: Oh, Professor Harold Hill, you never fail to let all of us down. Misspelled words, misquoting others, and as paranoid as usual. Oligarcy, Teddy Roosevelt "speak softly and carry a big stick", Shakespeare's rolling over in his grave LHMFAO at you and misquote him, too. And in the midst of losing over 50 advertisers, too. This czar business began with Nixon, then Reagan. Next time, get your facts straight.

BTW, I'm still looking for a replacement for the recently resign JFein, just contact me at, and I'll see you tomorrow night.


  1. You get any job offers thus far?

    Face it though, no one will be able to replace my greatness. ;-)

  2. No to the job offers or you're disagreeing with the fact that you won't replace my awesomeness. ;-)

  3. Herger represents the district I was raised in. And he is a big douche. The people in the area are tired of him and he will most likely be voted out when his term ends.