Our long national nightmare is finally over: The Detroit Lions won a National Football League game for the first time since the year 1853. Actually, it was December 23, 2007. And our worst national nightmare came alive as an April Fools' Day joke on UniWatchBlog.com, Paul Lukas' excellent examination on all things that have to do with on-field athletic apparel, became reality as the Seattle Seahawks wore lime green jerseys for the first time since the Orlando Thunder of the World League of American Football in 1994. ZE GOGGLES! ZEY DO NOTHING!!!
Okay, Keith and Dan are here, so let's get started.
Jaguars 31, Texans 24: The soon to be Los Angeles Jaguars won over a team dressed like Santa Claus because every day is Christmas.
Jets 24, Titans 17: Or, given the uniforms worn today Titans of New York 24, Oilers 17.
Packers 36, Lambs 17: The Rams are 0-3, easily the worst team in the NFL.
Ravens 34, Browns 3: Eric Mankini looked like a UPS delivery man.
Giants 24, Bucs 0: The Giants won on the first day since 1984 where the Giants and Jets played at the same time due to Woody Johnson's request to move Titans-Jets to 1 PM for Yom Kippur,
Lions 19, Redskins 14: Does Redskin owner Dan Snyder have Joe Gibbs' phone number on speed dial?
Patriots 26, Falcons 10: "Holy Don Pardo's Pants, Batman!" Olbermann jokes about Tom Brady's forthcoming birth of a child with Giselle Bunchen.
Eagles 34, Chiefs 14: The boycott of yours truly on the Eagles continues on a certain dog fighting gambling magnate making his return.
Vikings 27, 49ers 24: This Favre guy's pretty good, and led the Vikings to the win thanks to Greg Lewis's catch. Next week, The Judas meets The Packers. Let the hype begin.
Broncos 23, Raiders 3: How many feuds are the Raiders in with the media? Denver made them look bad. Then again, everyone looks good against the Raiders.
Bears 25, Seahawks 19: What are those green slime unis doing here? Never again, Mr. Allen. Please. For the sake of all of America. Sheild thine eyes, Interweb users:
Props to JFein at Fire Andy Reid Now!
Saints 27, Bills 7: So, Terrell Owens, your thoughts on this game please?
Bengals 23, Steelers 20: Ben Rothlesberger lost his first game in Ohio since high school.
Chargers 23, Dolphins 13: No LaDamilan Tomlinson, no big problem.for the Bolts, after a 3-3 first half tie which McNabb didn't know what to do. Chad Pennington was hurt on the shoulder.
Enjoy the Colts and Cardinals everyone.
UPDATE: Colts 31, Cardinals 10.