We have the Week Two edition of Football Night in America, and John Madden will be at the game tonight as Cowboys Stadium, the $1.3 billion Taj MaJerry, opens up. As a guest of Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones in his box, not in the broadcast booth, so in summation, don't get your hopes up for a broadcast reunion whatsoever.
Okay, Keith and Dan, take it away, please!
Raiders 13, Chiefs 10: This once great rivalry was reduced to a Kanye West rant where he took the football away.
Texans 34, Titans 31: The old Houston team lost to the new Houston team. Chris Johnson had 284 yards total offense but still lost.
Redskins 9, Rams 7: Bore fest indeed. The unneccessary use of violence against goalposts has been approved.
Bengals 31, Packers 24: Chad Johnson said he would leap into Lambeau's stands. He did.
Cardinals 31, Jaguars 17: Only two point one percent of the country saw this game. All of it was in Arizona.
Vikings 27, Lying Downs 13: Nineteen straight losses for the Jim Rome is Burninating Lying Downs. Eight more losses needed to surpass the 0-26 Creamsicle Buccos.
Saints 48, Eagles 22: It's deep and I think it's playable. The Beagles looked pathetic. Norm Snead will start next week.
Falcons 28, Panthers 20: To confuse Jake Delhomme even more from last week, the Falcons wore their 1966 throwback uniforms.
Jets 16, Pats 9: In the old days, Bob would have handled the highlights on this one. I'll bet Tiki would have had a field day on this one.
Bills 33, Bucs 20: Tampa's first visit to Buffalo was bad. And TO made it worse.
Ravens 31, Chargers 26: Phillip Rivers had 436 yards passing, but the Ravens' defense knocked the Chargers silly.
49ers 23, Seahawks 10: GORE! GORE! GORE! 225 yards and two TDs. Elizabeth Hasselbeck's brother-in-law had bruised ribs and the Seahawks lost.
Broncos 27, Browns 6: The Browns looked awful. Maybe it was the brown pants. You thought those were bad, wait 'til October 11 when the Broncos wear their 1960 throwbacks, er, throwups complete with Oompa Loompa socks.
Bears 17, Steelers 14: No Palamalu, no Urlacher. No offense, either. Robbie Gold wins it with 15 seconds left.
Enjoy the Giants and the Cowboys and the history.
UPDATE: In front of 105,131 people, Lawrence Tynes' walkoff field goal gave the Giants a 33-31 win over the Cowboys at Jerry's Ediface Complex.