Countdown Live Blog: 5/8/09

The Tie: Black, silver and blue stripes.

Number 5: On behalf of the entire universe, we'd like to tell Herr Goebles Cheney to simple when leaving your old position as Herr Adolph's second-in-command, "WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He spoke to one of the most far right wing nutjob hosts in North Dakota - NORTH FUCKING DAKOTA! - on waterbaording being good. Richard Wolffe, any ideas?

And when he said that he and the rest of the current Good Oldboysandgirls Party leaders should be exiting starge neocon right. Jonathon Alter, explain, the step outside.

Number 4: When did Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) know about enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding and when did she forget about it? Ask the CIA about it back in 2002, four years before she became Speaker. Fixed Noise and other far right wing nutblogs jumped all over this. McClathy Newspapers chief Washington reporter Jonathon Landay is here to recap. And more on Madame Speaker in Worsts later...

Oddball: Tonight's Inanity Charity update brought to you by TheInanitFiles@gmail.com. Sixteen days since Inanity wanted to be waterboarded for charity and still no response. We have balogna with Jay Randolph's spelling of "G-O-D, GOOD!" in Maimi. Outside an office building in Sao Paolo, Brazil, a window washing bucket went awry.

Number 3: The guy who authorized that photo-op over the Statue of Liberty (which will finally reopen July 4th for the first time since 9/11) that caused panic over Lower Manhattan has resigned/been sacked/sent packing. Oh, yes, the pics were foramally released as well today (5/8). Louis Caldera, winner of April 27th's Worst Person in the World contest, leaves the White House Military Office in disgrace. Margaret Carlson, do you have the 8 x 10 glossies?

Still Bushed!: 3 - The man who wrote the book on far right Christian faith values said that Obama broke tradition began by Adolph XLIII over the National Day of Prayer. 2 - Many many changes in the culture in DC, according to Sen. Tom Colburn (R-OK), especially on economics. 1 - Lots of Iraq nothingness on Al Qaeda, as the Pakistani Prime Minister declares war on the Taliban.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - William Donahue compares President Obama to ex-KKK leader David Duke.

Silver - Alan Keyes was locked up in South Bend at Notre Dame against the speech President Obama.

Gold - David Fehrity has just written his notice of "we wish you well in future endeavors" asking if Speaker Pelosi, Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) and Osama Bin Laden were in a elevator, a US soldier had two bullets, two would be used for Pelosi, and Reid and Bin Laden gets choke out. Have you met Ben Wright and his stance on women golfers? Ever heard of Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder and his thought on African-American athletes? Did you know Jack Whitaker was banished from Augusta national for calling a gallery of patrons "a mob" and Gary McCord is still banished for syaing that they were "bikini waxing" the greens there? More on this dreadful commentary this weekend.

Number 1: Miss Wasilla 1984, the Evil Twin Sister of Sarah Palin won't be at the White House Corospondent's Dinner tomorrow (5/9; live at 9 PM ET on MSNBC - blaitant plug) because of - get this - she's the damned governor of Alaska. And Keith was going to have her autograph those SNL cue cards from Ben Affleck... But it won't be held in front of President Obama. Also out on the bill, Inanity and the rest of Fixed Noise, but $23,000 will be donated to a D.C. homeless group instead of desert. Craig Crawford previews the event, complete with a Fredo sighting!

I promised something about WordGirl last week, I'll have it for you this weekend...I promise.