Countdown Live Blog: 5/15/09

The Tie: Purple with navy dots.

Number 5: Oh, here we gooooooo. On his anything but telling the truth starring Ayatollah Dickcheney tour, House speaker Nancy Pelosi showing the non existance of enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding via lies. Meanwhile, CIA boss Leon Panetta defends the agency but what about Bob Graham? Meanwhile, Sen. Kit Bond (R-MO) said that while CIA agents lie around the world, the tune changes when they face Congress. So who's telling lies to whom? Ask Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) the minority leader of the House and we'll never know. The Obama administration is staying far away from it. So Richard Wolffe, will the real whomever is saying this PLEASE stand up (so you can be arrested)? And then Prof. Jonathon Turley joins us on how many different ways the Adolph XLIII Gestapo broke the laws.

Number 4: Meanwhile, 57% of Republican insiders wants Ayatollah Dickcheney, the Herr Goebles of the Adolph XLIII Gestapo want him to do everyone a favor and please... SHUT... THE FUCK... UP! Stay off the stage for the next ten years as it were, so Chris Cillizza, who's going to hold the door and kick Cheney's ass en route to the egress?

Oddball: TheInanitFiles@gmail.com Update: Twenty-three days since Inanity's waterboarding statement for charity, and still nothing. Coming from the land Down Under where women glow and men chunder is a video of kangaroos trying to escape the horrors of Pirate Murdoch, Arrrrrrr! And the Phillies were at the White House (see below for more information).

Still Bushed!: 3 - Daddy, What Did You Do In jail During The Bailout?: David Millard, the guy who moved fed pension monry to stocks may soon be getting a job in the big house. 2 - Turdblossom was testifying about the Attorney firings. 1 - Of the 241 military tribunals that were scheduled, only 20 will be tried with new rules.

Number 3: The protests at Notre Dame over President Obama's graduation speech to the Class of '09 was much ado about nothing especially when compared to, say, hiring a Prodestant football coach (Ara Parsegian) or a Jewish football coach (Lou Holtz) winning three of the last four National Mythical College Football Championships compared to abortion and stem cell research, but 60% are in favor of the commencement address, and Cardinal Francis George forgot Adolph XLIII speaking in 2001. Dr. Patrick Whelan, the head of Catholic Democrats, is her to answer those hard questions.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - The Drudge Report is now prohibited in the Federal offices in Mass.
Silver - Billo The Clown slams Prof. Jonathon Turley for going to "the dark side".
Gold - Michael Weinersavage now had his lawyers go to Hilary Clinton to get reinstated in Great Britain after calling her "a Nazi". Two Words for the former disgruntled NBCUniversal employee: ROTSA RUCK! Oh, and Mr. Pot, Ms. Kettle, Mr. Black. I beleive you know one another...

Number 1: For tonight's WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!?! moment, we look at what would happen is the State of Texas became a Republic again, like NFL franchises save for the Cowboys, American League baseball teams, NBA franchises and NHL organ-eye-zay-thons travelling to THREE different countries, the loss of Electorial College votes NASA's Johnson Space Center, hurricane relief and other stuff. Has anyone suggested that Gov. Rick Perry (R) needs a frontal lobomoty bad enough?

Well, I promised two weeks ago that Word Girl story, but I will have time this weekend to cover that up for you. No, really I will...