Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 5/19/09

The Tie: Lavender.

Number 5:
Michael Steele is threatening to step down as chairman of the Good Oldhomeboysandgirls Party delivered by Fixed Noise, a/k/a The GOP Public Relations Department and tomorrow votes on last Wednesday's (5/13) Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moment. You know, the Democrat Socalist Party vote that he opposes. And they will take President Obama head on and the day he announced tougher emission and fuel mileage at The White House, but there's more to the Party Of Nein (or was the Party of Nine?) than the same old rigmarole, and another celebrity slam at our 44th president was delivered. "This change is being delivered in a teabag." I'll allow you to write the jokes here. Howard Fineman will now attempt to clear up the mess.

Number 4:
The screwing up at the CIA continues on Congress and those meetings along with enhanced interigation techniques waterboarding, and Speaker Nancy Pelosi has reported approval ratings equal to Newt Gingrich. OH, SNAP! Did they lie to Congress and obstruct Justice and do so? Rep. Pete Hookstra (R-MI) also slammed everyone, when and where and who? Jack Rice, that former CIA special agent turned talk show host, explains this.

Oddball: This day's
TheInatitFund@gmail.com update: Twenty-seven days since Mr. Inatity's announcement. I can see the yellow streak from here... More on him later in the WPitW. We can see snail facials in Sandy, Utah. Actually, it's a Guiness record attempt. And this kid had 43 of em escargos. Out in Spokane, duckings that are newborn for a duck and recover help at a citibank in Spoakne. Insert the "Put it on the bill" joke. And in Belgium, footage of a new baby elephant.

Best Persons: 3 - George Will says people aren't getting out of cars onto bikes. You're only off by .03%, sir. 2 - William Bullock of Cary, NC robbed a Durham bank and dropped the notebook that had missing papers with the address. 1 -
A 17-year old in Winston-Salem tried to rob an interwebs cafe with a banana. He then ate it. In tribute, here's that Monty Python "Self Defense Against Fruit" skit.

Musical Segue:

Number 3: Elizabeth Edwards is here to talk about her new book, Resilience.

Still Bushed!: 3 - More on the KBR Halliburton contracts and bonuses for electric wiring near showers. 2 - Ayatollah Dickcheney reviewed in The Dark Side.. Nice. no wonder he looks so damn constipated. 1 -
More Fun with Waterboarding and the internal nonsense.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Inanity was getting tossed by Jesse "The Body" Ventura and added that Adolph inheirited 9/11 and the defecit.
Silver - Oh, disgruntled ex-MSNBC employee Tucker Carlson forgot President Obama's use of the word "abortion" seven times. Jeez, hit Ctrl-F5 every time. BTW, how's that Flavor Aid in Pirate Rupert and Jabba The Hutt's bathtub tastin'?
Gold - Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) says there's no global warming with carbon dioxide is in soda and Perrier.

Number 1: Tonight's WHISKEY...TANGO...FOXTROT?!? moment, brought to you by the Republican Filthy Rich Caucasian Senior Citizen Party (Take that for "Democratic Socialist Party" namers) features Sen. John Enson (R-NV) claim that those at the soon to be closed Gitmo jail claims that they get better health care than all average Americans.

We'll keep the world safe from big pharmas, and we'll see you tomorrow night.


  1. Can you blame John Edwards for having an affair?

  2. When is my next fill in date, do you know yet?

  3. I'll let you know a week beforehand, JFein.