The Tie: Maroon, gray and navy stripes, jacketless a la Dan Rather.
Number 5: Another John Yoo Torture memo was released today. No water in the lungs of the Adolph XLIII torture, and whatever happened to the messages from the CIA, incluing placing H2O in the nasal cavaties or lung, and with doctors nearby with lung equipment. So, Prof. Jonathon Turley, explain.
What do we know about the combined 266 times they did to facilitate the two? Richard Ben-Veniste has the answers, fuzzy as they are.
Number 4: The Good Oldboysadgirls Party are trying to blame the Democrats on the waterboarding story, and as Rep. Boehner and Speaker Pelosi bitch at each other, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) wants to do the "W. Is For Whitewash" therory. Meanwhile, ex Speaker Newt Gingrich (the bad half of the siblings) says that he believes torture is good, reverting a 12-year comment he said to the head of China. Richard Wolffe, doth they protesteth too much?
Oddball: In 1965, Edward R. Murrow, one of Keith Olbermann's heroes passed away. We have a bull in an Irish supermarket. Cleanup in Aisle 6, 7, 8 and 9. No offense, but The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin is on DVD. Blatant plugola complete with clip.
Best Persons: 3 - James Bopp Jr. calls Democrats Socalists. 2 - Ex-Sen. Norm Coleman's team wants five days on Al Franken. 1 - Jason Tyner is the Suitcase Simpson of the modern baseball era, traded from the Brers to the Tigers for nothing...as he was hitting .091.
Musical Segue: I'm Free!
Number 3: There is a swine flu epidemic, according to the Homeland Security department, unless you see the $900 million removed by Turdblossom of The Murdoch Street Journal and Sen. Collins (R-ME) and Senile Sen. Spector (R-PA). Chris Hayes of The Nation, what the hell is going on here?
Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Prof. Harold Hill says swine flu is a political thing. (Should be tied with Michael Weinersavage, Hugh Hewitt, Neil Boortz, shamed native Philadelphian Michele Malagang Malkin and Comedian Boss Limbaugh for this award, blaming the Mexicans and Weinersavage also blaing the Arabs.) Speaking of the Comedian...
Silver - Limbaurgh gets his for the piracy thing by Shane Murphy, second in command of the Maresk America.
Gold - White House Military Office boss Louis Caldera with an unfortunate bad timing on the backup of Air Force One for a photo op over Lower Manhattan. He's apologized. Now resign.
Number 1: So Inanity is still holding back on his promise to be waterboarded for charity with Keith giving $1,000/second, doubled if Inanity says he feared for his life. One of the guys in that demonstration video you've seen a zillion times, Mike Ritz, joins us.
Two quick notes. If Shuster isn't in tomorrow (4/28), JFein will be here for the live blog (or "plausably live" blog as he has finals this week at Bloomsburg University), and there's a delayed edition Wednesday (4/29) due to the presser for President Obama, unless you happen to work at a Fox over the air station. They're not going to cary it, but Fixed Noise Channel and the Fixed Goinjg Out of Business network will. Something about a new episode of Lie To Me, which just happens to be their motto.