The Tie: Red, blue and gold stripes.
Number 5: The Goodoldboysandgirls Party are still racist and attacking Pureto Rican terrorists in ads on Day Three of the Sonia Sotomayor hearings. Yesterday, Sen. Jeff Sessoms (R-AL) attacked the racist card, and today, looking fo the "Wise Latina" attack from Sen. John Cornym plays the "Gee, I forgot aboit it" card, as four years ago, Sen. Connym gave the same question to future Supreme Court chief John Roberts. And, Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) - fresh from the FedEx run of one Sen. Jon Ensign (R-NV) scandal ("SHUT UP, COBURN!") - went into a pregnancy question and became Ricky Ricardo, while Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) touched on the judicial activism inquiry. Meantime, Comedian Boss Limbaugh went off the deep end on questions in advance...and turned the hearings off as he claimed that she was "scary". And there was a ad from the GOP attacking her Latino fellows, claiming she protected Puerto Rican Terrorists. Richard Wolffe, please divert your eyes from burning.
Number 4: Big Pharma + Insurance + GOP = collusion. That's why they added 160 amendments to President Obama's Health Care Reform Plan. And they may not vote for it, so therein lies a losing cause of the end of cooperation. It was easier to throw out the first ball last night (7/14) at the Al-Star Game in St. Louis. Now, the words are "Lead, follow or get out of the damned way." Lawrence O'Donnell will now examine ther GOP's colective heads.
Oddball: Napolean surrendered to the Brits in 1815. In Holland's six beaches, tampons in the air on parchutes. Denissa the giraffe gave birth to her eleventh calf at the Tel Aviv Zoo. Beats the Octomom by a mile... And we have video proof of the Pittsburgh misspelling has gotten worse...
Best Persons: 3 - Proof Obama has quizzed Tim Wakefield on the knuckleball. 2 - A sudsy homeowner in Maine gave a beer to someone...non-alcoholic. 1 - Hamas claims Israeli officers are offering gum to youngsters. Sorry folks, no musical segue tonight.
Number 3: Herr Goebles Cheney, Rumsfeld and Adolph XLIII screwed up a couple asassination attempts on Obama bin Laden covert named "Boxtop". The military picked it up, and killed al-Qaeda supporters. Jack Rice, any ideas why their heads were up their asses?
Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Jake Tapper of ABC News slimes NBC News for producers who had the South Carolina affair.
Silver - Comedian Boss Limbaugh blasts "The Ed Show" callinjg it "The Mr. Ed Show." Willll-bur!
Gold - Did you hear about the guy who blasted Obama on going to Afghanistan and sued? He was fired by tonight's winner, Leigh Tate, because he was working for a Pentagon contractor...
Number 1: As told above in the title line, Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) and Sen. Jon Ensign (R-NV) are seemingly auditioning for the Cake Flatulence remake for YouTube. Gov. Sanford is not "Hiking the Appalachian Trail" with his wife by going on vacation from Argentine trysts. Meanwhile, Sen. Ensign is looking to run for reelection, but not before hios mistress delivers a sexual harassment or wrongful termination lawsuit. At least Democrats are honest when it comes to scandals and leave office in disgrace, am I right, Prof. Melissa Harris-Lacewell coming from N'Awlins this evening?
Join me upstairs for this week's edition of I Survived a Japanese Game Show in three...two...one...