Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Countdown Live Blog: 7/8/09

The Tie: That red number with the white micropindots.

Number 5: EARTH SHATTERING BREAKING NEWS - CIA Director Leon Panetta says he won't retract the fact that has hidden information on enhanced interrigation techiniques waterboarding. Agency officials did lie from the start of the Adolph XLIII Gestapo! The statement of May 15th should be corrected, and the CIA mislead Congress, thus proving Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) right. Andrea Mitchell updates us on the story breaking
on the eve of the voting on the new Intel bill. Former CIA officer Jack Rice then joins us on the lynchpin turning point of all this.

Number 4: Miss Wasilla 1984 is still in the news, and this circus left town a long time ago, unless your name is David Letterman. And what about the interview she did while fishing with her husband yesterday. Meanwhile, Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister's numbers are plunging in the polls like a rock, as a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll says that 70% haven't changed their opinions. That is unless your name is Comedian Boss Limbaugh or Skeezix. And then there's her Twitter page. Okay, Howard Fineman, decipher this if you please.

Oddball: Happy birthday Jeffrey Tambor, a/k/a Mr. Big on WordGirl. In Tehran, in his first speech since winning, that Iranian president killed a moth. If you're Joyce DeWitt, or Eddie Mekka, get a designated driver. And Marky Mark Wahlberg misfires on the first pitch, and got help from Mike O'Malley proving Wahlberg didn't have the GUTS.
(If you can decipher the 1980's and 1990's Nick reference, you win - cue Jay Stewart - A BRAND NEW CAR! No, not really...)

Best Persons (All Dumb Criminals All the Time Edition): 3 - "John Qunicy Adams" arrested for DUI. 2 - Two men break into a Mexican cell phone stotre, and stole the replicas. 1 - Jonathon Schultz was driving pantsless in Rising Sun, MD, doing 70 MPH in a 50 MPH zone.

Musical Segue: "Drive" by The Cars.

Number 3: There's been aTurdblossom sighting (outside of Fixed Noise!) Testifying on the politically charged firings of prosicutors in the DoJ within the Senate Judicial Committee, and now will appear again at the end of the month. Chris Hayes from The Nation explains. Also, we learn Gonzo's going to teach at Texas Tech where Bob Knight used to coach after the Indiana disgrace.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Rasputin at Freedom Works blames that money from lobbyists for "smiley face facistism".
Silver - Sen. James Inhoffe (R-OK) calls He, The Senator Of the Decade Al Fanken (D-MN) a clown.
Gold - State Sen. Sylvia Allen (R-AZ) looks into uranium mining for this six milion years old planet.

Number 1: Earlier, I mentioned Miss Wasilla 1984, the Evil Twin Sister of Elizabeth Santamatina Fey, and her fishing excursion with her hubby and the overalls se wore. David Letterman will check in later this evening with the comedy. Christian Finnegan checks in now with his own material.

Why don't you go upstairs and join me and JFein for our weekly visit to I Survived a Japanese Game Show before ABC pulls it from the schedule and places the remaining episodes online like CBS did with Pirate Master.


  1. off topic, but Rodrigo Lopez? seriously?

  2. The Phillies are hurting in the pitching department right now...which is why they've been talking about Roy Halliday from Toronto.

  3. The show was Pirate Master, not Pirate Island....

    /I'm probably the only one that remembers the the name of the show.
    //I'm probably one of the few that remembers the show period. Them and Jericho fans.

  4. I thought I was the only one who liked Jericho.

    The Phillies and Giants should just combine their teams. Then they would be impossible to beat.