Sunday, November 23, 2008

Football Night in America Live Blog: 11/23/08

The biggest news of the day is that the Tennessee Titans lost to the New York Jets, meaning the 1972 Miami Dolphins popped the champagne corks as they usually do when the last unbeaten fell, so Perfectville remains "Population: One." Remember that one, Pats fans, hmmmm? Giants fans do! Meanwhile, the Detroit Lions continue the death march to 0-16 as they lost to the decendants of the last winless team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, they of the 0-14 1976 club. Also, Philadelphia sports fans' dreams came true as Andy Reid benched his boy, Donovan F. McNabb, and were blown out of the Inner Harbor by the Ravens when Ed Reed returned replacment Kevin Kolb's interception 108 yards for a touchdown, a new NFL record. Their next dream? Getting rid of Reid AND McNabb. See here for more.

You know the drill, Bob and Cris open the show, toss to John and Al - who are in San Diego tonight covering the Colts and the Bolts, and will go to the La Costa Spa until 8:15 PM - then Peter King comes on to drop some 411 on us...And now, ladies and gentlemen...Hereeeeeeee's Keith and Dan!

Texans 16, Browns 6 - Believe it or not, Kevin Walter - "So what's your name, Kevin or Walter?" - caught a Sage Rosenfels touchdown...and Sage wins a game! That was the good news. The bad news...it was against the Browns!

Bills 54, Chiefs 31 - The Bills had an ass whooping...and the Chiefs provided the ass as The Randomness That Is Mike Patrick would usually say. I use "ass" because "butt" is all college. Dan points out that Coco Crisp took in his first Chefs game as they show a lonely fan all by themselves at the top of a windy Arrowhead Stadium.

Vikings 30, Jaguars 12 - The Vikes score on a recovery and their first offensive possession, and Keith says that "Jack Del Rio [Jags coach] tells Napoleon Harris 'Napoleon, don't let this be our Waterloo.'" Too bad he didn't allow himself to blow his top. And Keith and Dan talk about tight headsets...

Now if Tiki Barber can tell his wife to cook like Bobby Flay or Morimoto... Sorry, Iron Chef America reference from the Thanksgiving Day battle special.

Buccaneers 38, Lions 20 - You know, the Lions had an early 14-0 lead until the Bucs woke up and saw they were playing the Lions, who laid down as if it was on cue. The Better Looking Barber Brother (Ronde) had his 11th interception return for a "Pick 6". Five to go for 0-16 for the Lions. Remember, Jim Rome Is Burning is rooting for you, and Marinelli's putting the blame on himself every week.

Bears 27, Rams 3 - Matt Forte - that was his - scored two touchdowns and Trent Green replaced an injured Matt Bulger, and more coach + mikes on a podium = madness. BTW, does Old Spice Swagger have 'roids in them? Get me the sword of Urlacher!

Cowboys 35, 49ers 22 - You know, Terrell Owens is gonna have a great game someday...oh, he had 213 yards in recieving. Cowboys were wearing their 1960 throwbacks that shoulda been worn Thanksgiving Day. Afterwards, Tony Romo shows that sneaky sense of humor that Yoko Romo - Yeah... I WENT THERE AND BOUGHT THE PROPERTY! - loves.

And no, I won't be watching Rosie O'Donnell's variety show Wednesday, I'm busy preparing for Thanksgiving, thank you...

Patriots 48, Dolphins 28 - Randy Moss finally got in sync with that Cassel guy. There were six lead changes, and the Patriots reverted to the 2007 form running up the score. Randy looked gansta afterwards with electrodes attached to his head. JFein tells us that Collinsworth says that Cassel needs to get "a supermodel to hang onto because he looks like [Tom] Brady." And Keith says that Matt and Moss are boilding Cassels in the sky. *groan*

Ravens 36, Beagles 7 - WARNING: The following contains material that is sensitive for viewers which may be considered disturbing, especially to Eagles fans. Viewer discresion is advised.

Donavan phones it in (2-11) and his backup Kevin Kolb wasn't better as he was picked by Ed Reed for a record 108-yard pick six. Stamps? Check. Envelopes? Checked. Game mailed in? Yup. Only second game with two 100-plus yard returns for touchdowns in NFL history. Reid has decided Monday (11/24) to start McNabb again. Lemme tell you, Randall Cunningham isn't coming through that door. Ron Jaworski isn't coming through that door, hell, Sonny Jurgensen, Norm Snead, Pete Liske or Guido Friiggin' Merkins aren't coming through those doors, either and Andy Reid will more than likely go through that door exiting the facility after the season, and trust me, Donovan won't be far behind.

Jets 34, Titans 13 - POP! That was the 1972 Dolphins celebrating the last unbeaten team this season going down as Bob and Cris remind us we can win Super Bowl XLIII tickets! And the Titans looked all Harry High School in the navy uniforms.

Raiders 31, Broncos 10 - Remember when the Raiders used to score touchdowns on offense? Darren McFadden scored one for Da Raiders. Da Broncos lost three in a row at home.

Falcons 45, Panthers 28 - Keith as we look at a comely fan with wings who must've had some Red Bull and asks this question: "Excuse me, ma'am, did you use public transportation?" And the Falcons thanks to Harry "High School Look" Douglas and Michael Turner, who scored four touchdowns, went on to win. The "Harry High School Look" line was directed at the Falcons' all black uniforms. A "blackout" makes no sense whatsoever even at a night game because it makes the stadium look empty. Ask Georgia. Ask Maryland. Ask the Beagles. Don't even ask Ron Mexico.

Redskins 20, Seahawks 17 - Hugs anyone? Jim Zorn returns to Seattle and Shaun Suisham (pronounced "squeeze'em") kicks the winning field goal.

Giants 37, Cardinals 29 - No Brandon Jacobs, no David Tyree, but they have Dominic Hickson who had two big returns! Madison Hedgecock had a touchdown. Hug your coach today! Bob hugs Cris, and doesn't get the payoff from Keith and Dan. Hilarity ensues...

The Little Big Show - A brief recap of the stuff that happened today...Hey, stop with stealing my lines, Patrick...I can get to say that the 1972 Dolphins had popped the corks. "What do you want to talk about, [Comedian] Rush [Limbaugh]? The economy."

That's it for us, enjoy Colts-Chargers and I'll see you manana for Keith's return to Countdown on MSNBC. It'll be a short week for him because of the holiday.

EDIT 1: The Calgary Stampeders beat Les Alouettes de Montreal, 22-14 to win Le 96e Coupe Grey at Stade Olympique in Montreal. Let the riots begin in Calgary and Montreal!

EDIT 2: Adam Viniterri's 51-yard walk off field goal allows the Indianapolis Colts to defeat the San Diego Chargers, 23-20.

4 comments:

  1. "We're in San Diego, Bob. John and I will be going to the spa before kickoff at 8:15." - Al Michaels

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  2. It was only a 3 point game when McNabb was benched. Collinsworth is right (no surprise, there).

    "To get sit-down in a national television game." - Tiki Barber not knowing that this game was only seen in the Mid-Atlantic and New England regions.

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  3. "1st career touchdown." - Dan Patrick

    Wrong! He had a kickoff return for a touchdown last week.

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  4. "Somebody needs to get that kid a supermodel." - Cris Collinsworth on Matt Cassel

    ReplyDelete