Monday, November 17, 2008

When Keith's Away, Then It's My Turn To Play

David Shuster's in for Keith this week as The Big Olbermann is on vacation for the first time in a year, so there's no live blog until November 23rd for FNiA... But, I do have something to tide you over...

First, open a new tab in your browser and cut ansd paste this in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pY08e_tdtA

Now follow us as we present tonight's nominees for that coveted title "Worst Person in the World."

The third place slot tonight goes to the wrestling fake fighting organization Total Nonstop Action Wrestling Fake Fighting Entertainment. The group has offered a $50,000 charitable donation to disgraced John McCain vice presidential running mate Sarah Palin for her services to the troupe known as "The Beautiful People", made up of wrestlers porn named-sounding performers Angelina Love, Velvet Sky and Kipp Sopp, to make an appearance at their upcoming pay-per-view wrestling fake fighting event "Final Resolution" on December 7th.

Look, I don't know about you, but for fifty thousand fish, you'd be better off getting Tina Fey-as-Sarah Palin, or a low budget Palin impersonator along with a John McCain lookalike. In her defense, let me say that Sarah Palin has better things to do on December 7th, mostly because she's seeing Russia from her house near that Bridge to Nowhere. And if I got the fifty grand, it's going straight to the Alaska Special Olympics.

Tonight's silver goes to Sean Inanity, er, Hannity and Hugh Hewitt, once again parrotting Comedian Rush Limbaugh's Obama-cession lines even when the only sensible person at Fixed Noise, Hannity's co-host Alan Colmes correctly stated that is isn't Obama's fault. Hewitt said "I don't call it socialism, I call it a really bad tax policy." To which Hannity asked Colmes "Can I get you a decaf?"

Hugh, Sean, what's this about this whole decaf between you? This "socialism" you call it Hugh, this bad tax policy that you're talking about? This is called "Reaganmonics." It didn't work in 1981, it didn't work in 2008, and it won't even work now. You two dingalings need to be reading more into this "socialism" as you like to call it.

But our winner...oh here we goooooooo... Micahel Weinersavage. When talking about child rearing, here's what he had to say about it:

"I have found in my life that most of the Ph.D. experts on children are either gay or crazy and were never married. Or if they were married, they either kill their wife or were in rehab for a few years, and then came out and went into psychotherapy to find out why they killed, or attempted to kill. And then it all washed away, and suddenly they're experts on childbearing."

This is the same Michael Weinersavage who called autistic children "brats who haven't been told to cut out the act", called Obama "an affirmative action president" during the campaign, and has a son who sells a energy drink called Rockstar, of which I am personally boycotting for those reasons. Joel McHale says about Kim Kardashian's sisters, that they're all dead behind the eyes. If you ever see a picture of Michael Weinersavage, take a closer look at the disgruntled former MSNBC employee. McHale was right, he is dead between the ears.

Michael Weinersavage, proof that zombies indeed live, today's WORST... PERSON... No, really, I'm serious, he's a dead man walking personified... IN THE WORLD!


2 comments:

  1. Keith would be proud if he saw that!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Edward R. Murrow is burning in hell for this.

    ReplyDelete