Friday, November 14, 2008

Countdown Live Blog: 11/14/08

One of the things that I'll be doing is that I'll do a as-it-happens live blog of Countdown and Football Night in America, so trust me on this one, it'll be fun.

Tie: The Color Purple with darker dots.

Number 5: Madame Hillary Rodham Clinton, Secretary of State? Well, she was doing a presser up in Albany on mass transit, and lo and behold... "The job is hers if she wants it," claims ABC News. President-Elect Barack Obama has (sources say) offered the job to Hill, and she's not speaking about it. A number of insiders within the transition team love it. Fred Arminsen, er, whoops, Richard Wolfe says that "ninety percent of this is all speculation"... Or it could be 90% something else for that matter. (I still have the SNL skit with Ben Affleck on my mind!) It's Barack's house, we're all paying the rent.

According to the story that was first reported in house by Andrea Mitchell and now by Chuck Todd, yes the offer has been made. No more health care reform, or the millions of her fans via e-mail according to the plan, and Jon Meacham from Newsweek checks in from Los Angeles and says that it's how you look magnaminous. When Keith asks if it's a case "Keep your friends close and your eneimes closer", the question is "Who'll be Joe Biden's second-in-command?" If she turns it down, then Obama will turn to someone else. So many trees were used in the political obits on Bill and Hillary, or as Jay Leno called them "Billary." Look for a "Chelsea Clinton 2028" bumper sticker on

Number 4: To those who followed the Obama campaign, there were more airtight seals than a Dutch dyke without leaks. Reports from everywhere on Hillary The Great being Sec of State were flying. Hey look, it's Craig Crawford! He thinks it's an intended leak to see how We The People react according to the First Amendment rights we enjoy. No playing games, gracias, amigos. Any other reasons for the "intential leak" to get a Princess Bride reference and a Star Trek mention as well? Gene Rodenberry R.I.P. Even John Kerry has been mentioned for crying out loud... Even Nixon had his Waterloo as Danny Ozark would mention, and a shout out to Doris Kerwin Goodwin, too.

Oddball, the Bill-O The Clown goes on The Daily Show Edition: Happy 60th Birthday Prince Charles! What would Loofah/Falafel Boy worry about and mistake a small stuffed teddy bear as a panda? Sweet cream on an ice cream sammich! Also, it's International Ukrane Government Federation Wrasslin', cleverly disguised as a Republican meeting and kids flying on poles. Whee!

Best People: 3 - Abby Elliott joins SNL, continuing the family tradition that her dad (Chris) and granddad (Bob) have been doing forever seemingly. 2 - Amy Taylor's getting d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d in reality and online. Uh-oh! 1 - A bank robber in Pennsy demanded money,from a local bank and tried to steal money, and the tellers in order went faint, nothing, nothing, bye-bye! He's filing a complaint, and will be in the big house! Music Segue: Something about "Gimme the cash." After all, that's what CC Sabathia may be getting from the Damn Yankees...

Number 3: President-elect is going to meet with John McCain, and they're going to see how everything's going to be smooth, and Chris Kofinis is here to tell us that the nastiness if over, unless you live in Alaska, Minnesota and Georgia, where ballots for Senate seats are being counted... Would Obama discuss having a Republican in his cabinet? Mmmmm, could be...

Bushed: 3 - AP says the feds will file charges against six Blackwater mercinaries. can I get an "Uh-oh" from Carl Lewis? 2 - Bailouts to propose FDIC to see another 1.5 million houses defaulting. What did you do to be jailed in the bailout, Daddy? 1 - Remember Don Siegelman being convicted? Turns out a Turd Blossom flunkie discovered on a three-page comment from Siegelman says that a survey said 67% said it was motivated. by politics See you in the big house, honey!

Number 2 (WPitW):
Bill-O still can't tell a teddy from a panda, and rants on gay marriage. Geez, didn't you see Keith's Special Comment on California's Prop 8 Monday? Oh, wait, you didn't, because you're on against him. My bad!
Silver: Rick Davis, John McCain's boss rants on Sarah Palin's Katie Couric interview because she was a female and thought it would be softer? Please! Tina Fey-as-Sarah Palin was much funnier...even with Amy Poehler-as-Katie Couric.

Richard Sharp writing about nonsense in the San Diego Union-Tribune mistaking registering for the Army instead of for the Peace Corps. May we suggest getting a breath of fresh air somewhere else, sir? Far, far away on another planet.

Number 1: Didja hear about President Bush the 43rd tried to bring peace with the Group of 20 on the economy, stupid, and the story goes that he tried to talk with the President of Russia and the President of France (and his hot trophy First Lady) about bringing peace by saying Vladmir Putin to hang Bush XLIII "by the..." putting this politely... "gonads." Eugene Robinson brings us the story on "What Would Adolph The XLIII Do?" His legacy alrerady ruined post 9/11, this proves that is going downhill faster than a lame duck ever will be.

That's it for tonight's show, 66 days until Inauguration Day and Day 2,025 since "Mission Accomplished". Be sure to join us Sunday night for Football Night in America Green is Universal, where Dan Patrick and Keith will celebrate the NBC Universal promotion by recycling all of their old lines from their glory days on ESPN SportsCenter. Oh, wait, they already do that? Until then, try the waiteress, tip the veal and enjoy Wayne Newton everyone!

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