Countdown Live Blog: 6/8/09

The Tie: Silver, blue and black stripes.

Number 5: Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister was at the Rays-Yankees game yesterday (6/7) and quoted Newt Gingrich. More on Newt later. She's at the Good Oldboysandgirls Party congressional fundraising event in the game of speaker at the dias of said fundraiser. No comments from Rich Lowry. We do get some from Richard Wolffe.

So who's the leader of the party now, but Palin quoted Gingrich (and Craig Shirley) at another event last week. And brought about the Ronald Reagan change from "Detente" to "Evil Empire", a line used later by Adolph XLIII. Lawrence O'Donnell is here to comment.

Number 4: Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) tweeted about President Obama's health plans after the latter's speech on YouTube. Welcome to the new milennium, Dr. Howard Dean.

Oddball: Eddie Gaedel (#1/8) was born on this day. Bret Michaels' Rock Of Love Bus tour came to The Tonys along with Poison who performed and got conked by a giant sign.



And Roger Federer was distracted by a nutcase. We also have a white bengal tiger in a German Zoo. Sigfried and Roy had no comment.

Best Persons: 3 - The Pirate Party won a seat in the Euro Parlement. Arrrr! 2 - Ryan Neaus of hazelton was caught speeding after someone who stole his maryjane. 1 - A woman had bought a lawsuit against Pepsi's Quaker Oats division that there were no real crunch berries in Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries... WHAT... THE...?!?

Musical Segue: Crunch berries!

Number 3: SCOTUS nominee Sonia Sotomayor tripped and broke her ankle at LaGuardia racing to catch a flight to Washington today. She also got a endorsement from former First Lady Eva Braun, and Gingrich went back to the racist card again.

Still Bushed!: 3 - More money in profits from KBR. 2 - Indian news agency got $7M from Adolph XLIII instead ordering airplanes. 1 - One of the Gitmo many was turned over after seven years didn't ask about a plot, but told all about something else.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - Gov. Tim Palenti (R-MN) evoked the Eminem/Sasha Baron Cohen act at the MTV Movie Awards.

Silver - A new charity event as a carry-your-gun to church event in Louisville.

Gold - Rep. Pete Hostrka (R-MI) calims in a secret report that enhanced interrigation techniques waterbording works. When others say it so, they go to jail; when he says to it makes him a hypocrite.

Number 1: The man who killed Dr. George Tiller, Scott Roeder, says that there are others that are out there that will do what he did last weekeend. Why isn't he being waterboarded? Denise O'Donnell, deputy pubic safety secratary for the State of New York, answers those questions.

I'm off to RAW. See you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 6/4/09

Congrats to San Francisco Giants pitcher The Big Unit, Randy Johnson, becoming the 24th (and most likely last of this generation) on winning his 300th game over the Washington Nationals by the score of 5-1 in the first game of a makeup doubleheader. He also became the sixth lefthander to reach the mark.

The Tie: Tan and white stripes.

Number 5: "If al-Qaeda wants to destroy [the country] we know and love, they better hurry because [President Obama] is beating them to it." With that, Comedian Boss Limbaugh has now landed on Mr. Obama's $#!+ list. This hours after Obama made his speech in Cairo, Egypt this morning to the Muslim world. The 44th President stated that there is no war with Islam, but relentlessly confront extreme opposition, get us out of the failure in Iraq, mentioned the 3,000 deaths of those on 9/11 via al-Qaeda. The President also mentioned the holocaust, saying Jews and Palistines should get along and play nice, and also mentioned that 9/11 will no longer be used an excuse for war or waterboarding and other forms of torture, and also spoke about The Golden Rule. He also went on tourist duty, opting out of Ron Emanuel's camel riding. So Howard Fineman, how'd the speech go?

The president will go to Germany to visit a concentration camp tomorrow (6/5) and then to Normandy for the 65th anniversary of D-Day to complete the trip Saturday (6/6).

Number 4: More on Mr. Far Reich Wing Extremeist No Longer De Facto Leader of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party's comments from Eugene Robinson. Maybe it's time to officially retire the Follow The Bouncing Rush tag.

HILARITY ALERT: In the segue to the break during the 8 PM livecast, they showed a bear in a tree while talking about Matt Hasselbeck's sister-in-law's comments of democorocy in Obama's speech on The View. Stay tuned for the Worsts for more.

Oddball: In 1965, Andrea Jaeger was born, and now she's a nun in Durango, Colorado. In nearby Breckenridge, it's a bear in a tree who came down on his own. And in Toronto another bear was up in a tree, and cue the bouncing bear with our old friend Craig Kilborn!

Meanwhile, in Amhurst, New York, there's a cat in a wheel well. From Buffalo. Probly didn't like TO. And in Ardmore, Oklahoma the annual forklist rodeo was held.

Best Persons: 3 - George Jackson, who was third in Tuesday's WPitW (6/2), had his facts mixed up on Tiger Stadium. 2 - Hal Turner, internet radio host pulls a Billo The Clown and states the names and addresses of politicians, and was arrested for creating a disturbance. 1 - Peter Bielecke from Trenton was arrested for six weeks of bank robbery. Every Thursday. It happens like clockwork.

Musical Segue: Se habla espanol?

Number 3: The Adolph XLIII plan for the Mideast was that Israel froze all assests on the left bank, but kept building houses anyway. Obama is ignoring it according to Israeli prime minister Ben "Nothing But the Bottom Of The" Netinyahu. Col. Lawrence Wilkenson, USA (Ret.) now will tell you why this is going on.

Still Bushed!: 3 - More Blackwater murder suits were filed. 2 - War Crimes for another United Nations call with War Crimes. 1 - In 1999, if Adolph XLIII ever became President, he wanted to follow his father into Iraq. Daddy said like Hamlet's ghost "AVENGE ME, W. AVENGE ME!!!" Best quote from retired comic Dennis Miller BTW before crossing over to the dark side.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX) has a new media caucus thing. See "mediamatters.org". Try being congressmen.

Silver - Matt Hasselbeck's sister-in-law and Michael Rubin didn't hear the word "democracy" in Obama's speech. Try hearing it four times.

Gold - Jill Stannic of WorldDailyNet posts two more locations for late term abortions. Now crazy gunmen will go there and asassinate the doctors.

Number 1: When the GOP Senators says it's time for stop slamming Judge Sotomayor on her road to SCOTUS, aides says "Keep the pressure on." Manuel Miranda, he of the filibuster and third place WPitW on Wednesday (6/3) has given up the ghost. Chris Cillizza tells us more.

I'll tell you what, I'll be back tomorrow for the start of the weekend.

Randy Orton is an Asshat, Even Out of Character

This video summerizes the fact that Randy Orton has lost his mind.



Thanks to Keith at his Sports Journal Blog for the heads up. BTW, Orton was "punished" by being forced to drop the belt to Batista in a steel cage match at the One Night Stand Extreme Rules PPV Sunday (6/7).

Countdown Live Blog: 6/3/09

The Tie: Brown, tan and black stripes.

Number 5: Newt Gingrich and Sen. Jon Cornyn (R-TX) both take back the comments they made about Judge Sotomayor. That makes Comedian Boss Limbaugh upset, but admits he flip flops toward her saying it's okay to have a "racist" on SCOTUS. Eugene Robinson thinks that it's - all dare we say - sweet cream on an ice cream sammich.

Meanwhile, President Obama is cutting the Good Oldboysnadgirls Party with a New York congressman being nominated to Secratary of the Army and Gov. Jon Huntsman of Utah to be Ambassador to China. The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza examines this.

Number 4: Herr Goebles again was involved with talks on defending enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding in 2005. Three years after it started. All in 40 meetings. Okay, Chris Hayes form The Nation, why Y2K+5?

Oddball: In 1789, Anderson McKenzie started out to find his own river. Once again, don't bring a baseball bat to no gunfight or robbert. At Miss Czech 2009 the host fell down. Last but not least, in Palm Beach, they found four kittens in the engine block.

Number 3: President Obama is in the Middle East for the speech to give in Cairo, whilst Osama bin Laden released a new audio. Why isn't this man been captured and placed on trial for 9/11? Richard Wolffe will now talk about his new book Renegade: The Making of a President and see what he sees in the Mideast.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Herr Ayatollah Dickcheney said Adolph XLIII didn't want to pull the plug on GM. 2 -Ex-CIA Chief of Pakistan Milt Beardon call BS on waterboarding. 1 - Hallburton KBR issues a statement that media blamed us on electrical work on those showers.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Manuel Miranda, said "Hispanics think like everyone else. Not like African-Americans." He's leading the fillibuster against Sotomayor, and is also a racist, gracias por favor.
Silver - Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) is angered that GM closed his district's plant and wants President Obama to reopen it. Blames it on micromanagement by Obama...really?
Gold - Comedian Boss Limbaugh riffs on Obama's visit by ripping Muslims and the Nobel Peace Prize. Michael Weinersavage. Paging Michael Weinersavage. Remember November 2007?

Number 1 (The Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!? Moment): President Obama has read one book since April 2008...mostly because he's been busy. Meanwhile, Adolph XLIII and Turdblossom had a reading contest over the last three lame dick, er, lame duck years of Adolph's Gestapo. Adolph read 183 books...Uh, ever read the security briefings, Herr Bush?

I'll see you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 6/2/09

The Tie: Purple.

Number 5: Quick quiz: How many Good Oldboysnadgirls Party members signed a statement saying they will fillibuster against Sonia Sotomayor? The answer is 143, and most of them said that they would not fillibuster four years ago. Fillibuster? We hardly knew her. This after Sen. mitch McConnell (R-KY) hosted a meeting with her this day. Anyway, Howard Fineman gives us a lesson in journalism for us about it.

The man wo killed Dr. George Tiller has pleaded not guilty to his asasination style murder in a Kansas church. A friend of Dr. Tiller, Susan Hill, joins Keith.

Number 4: So, when did Herr Goebles admits that there was a lik beween 9/11, Saddam Hussein, Al-Qaeda and claim that enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding work? On Fixed Noise last night (6/1), he's moving away from that all. He also made the comments at the National Press Club beforehand. Mama Bear Huffington joins us to leer into this (without our pal Seth MacFarlane).

Oddball: In 1955, Dana Carvey was born. *Church Lady impression* Well, isn't that special. Anartican Penguins will be followed via #2 on the latest March of the Penguins. Sorry, Keith, Dan was not available for your mike pass. In Italy, Rafael de Rosa has problems in the Italian Grand Prix for motorcycles. In New Zealand, a pigeon was hurt in a cricket match. Cue Randy Johnson's implosion of a pigeon.

Best Persons: 3 - Countdown tops all in the vital 18-34 year old catergory at 8 PM ET. 2 - Mr. Yuan lost $2 million at Lost Wages' the Venetian Casino because a lot of feng shui, now he's suing. 1 - Rep, Virginia Foxx (R-NC) has told all in Congress to join her for "office beers" on your dime.

Musical Segue: Beer, beer, beer!

Number 3: A blatiant sneak preview/plug for the two-part for ex-intern Brain Williams' inside look at the Obama White House tonight and tomorrow (6/2 and 6/3) at 9 PM ET/PT on the NBC Universal mothership. A dozen crews, 150 hours whittled down to two hours over two nights.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - George Jackson is a villain by means of tearing down Tiger Stadium.

Silver - Stew Taylor of the National Journal claims Sotomayor's letter about lack of Hispanics at Princeton should be evidence against her nomination.

Gold - The owners of ten Burger King stores in Memphis claimed global warming is baloney. The chairman of home company disagrees. "Have it your way...or else."

Number 1 (The Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!? Moment): Did you hear the one about the Marathon County, Wisconsin GOP spokesperson near Wausau named Kevin Stephenson who was sacked because he disagreed with Comedian Boss Limbaugh? Isn't that how the Whig Party started to fall apart?

WTF? Indeed See you tomorrow night.

Countdown Live Blog: 6/1/09

(Guest posted by JFein from Fire Andy Reid Now!)

Happy June everyone!

The Tie: Burnt orange.

Number 5: Dr. George Tiller was assassinated earlier today. As we all know, Tiller was a strong proponent of abortions and was a doctor who performed many of them, including notorious late-term abortions. And JC's favorite right-wing blogger, Michelle Malkin who happens to be from Philly (I can guarantee that you that this city, a strongly democratic city, does not claim her), is trying to tie Katherine Sebalius to Dr. Tiller and several other right wingers and pro-lifers consider Tiller a baby killer and are still considering him a mass murderer. Those remarks were made after his death. Richard Wolffe, who was supposed to talk about his new book today, Renegade, joins us to talk more about the insinuation of violence from the far right and pro lifers.

Andrew Sullivan from The Atlantic, has more about the response to Dr. Tiller's assassination.

Number 4: GM has filed for bankrupty and the government and subsequently the taxpayers now own 60% of GM. I own a car company! Yay! I am giddy! President Obama and the Federal Government will be hesitant to do anything with it, preferring to let GM take care of GM's problems. Michael Moore joins us. What does it say about Moore when you consider the fact that I am a fairly strong liberal Democrat and I could at best careless for this moron.

Oddball: CNN premiered on this date. And a deer did not jump over the moon, but rather over the hood of a car. We've got a space shuttle on a airplane. A 15-foot fish is asleep on the surface and apparently it's an earthquake predictor. Who knew?

Number 3: Lt. General Ricardo Sanchez is on to tell us more about talk about torture, claiming that we need to know the truth about what happened or else the past is doomed to happen again. And after all of the talk of the GOP telling us to listen to the generals, how much do you want to bet that they will denounce him and say don't listen to him because he is against torture? Scott McClellan and Mancow know the feeling. And Lt. Gen. Sanchez believes there should be prosecution.

Number 2 (Worst Persons In The World)

Bronze - William Kristol is suggesting a few air strikes on North Korea.

Silver - Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) thinks that he has better things to do than to be the "speech police" for the people in the appointment of Sotomayor.

Gold - Comedian Boss Limbaugh wants to appoint David Duke to SCOTUS in reponse to President Obama's Sotomayor, but Duke now claims P\/\/N3RSHIP of Limbaugh.

Number 1: Is Fixed Noise partly responsible for inciting the assassination of Dr. Tiller? Video is below.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

JC will be back tomorrow. Thanks for joining me and see you next time!

MLB's TV Partners Prohibits You From Seeing The Last Two World Series Champions Play Each Other...Unless You Have Cash Monies, Homie

There are assholes, and then there are TV programmers. Both seem to have their heads up their arrears at the same time. Take for example, the folks at TBS, ESPN, FOX and MLB Network.

Please.

On the weekend of June 12th through June 14th, the last two teams that won the World Series - the Boston Red Sox (2007) and the Philadelphia Phillies (2008) - will be playing a three-game series at Citizens Bank Park. Guess how many games will be telvised on one of those networks.

None. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Bubkus.

That's right. None of them. So, what games will be on national television that weekend? Let's check the schedules, kids.

• FOX June 13 - New York Mets at New York Yankees or St. Louis Cardinals at Cleveland Indians, 4 PM ET.
• MLB Network June 13 - San Diego Padres at Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Orange County California USA Western Hemisphere Third Rock From the Sun Milky Way Galaxy Crab Nebula, 9 PM ET.
• TBS June 14 - New York Mets at New York Yankees, 1 PM ET (Headline News in New York City area).
• ESPN June 14 - St. Louis Cardinals at Cleveland Indians, 8 PM ET.

I can possibly understand the Mets-Yankees thing, but the last place Cleveland Fucking Indians and the last place San Diego Motherfucking Padres? Can someone have these prickheads take a damn cocksucking drug test to see what they were eating/drinking/smoking when they made these decisions? The die was cast a week earlier when ESPN decided to put the Phillies-Dodgers NLCS rematch for that week's Sunday Night Baseball telecast on June 7th. As far as I'm concrened, the Cardinals-Indians game was better off on KSDK in St. Louis and WKYC in Cleveland, thus in turn, pissing off those at NBC.

Sadly, the greedy motherfucking bastards at Major League Baseball will make these games available because as Ted DiBiase the elder says "Everybody's got a price...Everybody's gonna pay...'Cause [MLB]...Always gets [their] way." Those games (except in New England and the Valley of the Delaware) are readily available via their Extra Innings digital cable/DirecTV package or via the internet on MLB.tv. The sadder part? DirecTV doesn't carry Comcast SportsNet Philadelphia thanks to an obscurely antiquated FCC rule about exclusivtivity and Comcast's preferrence to use microwave/fiber optics.

So I give a great big loud FUCK YOU to TimeWarner, NewsCorpse and Disney as well as MLB's in house TV operations for this gigantic pile of bullshit. You made your beds, now the fans outside New England and Philadelphia expect you to lay there, you cocksucking assholes.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/29/09

The Tie: Gray with black diagonal stripes.

Number 5: The Goodoldboysandgirls Party smear campaign on Justice Sonia Sotomayor has become The Civil War. Michael Steele, RNC chairman, Charles Krauthammer, Peggy Noonan and Sen. Jon Cornyn (R-TX) have said people like Comedian Boss Limbaugh should stop being part of the process and just SHUT THE FUCK UP! Meanwhile, Limbaugh compared Sotomayor to former KKK leader (and politician) David Duke. Bad choice, Mr. Limbaugh. So have Inanity, Professor Harold Hill, Tom Tancredo, Michael Weinersavage, Coultergeist, Turdblossom, Fred Barnes, Bill Bennett been told to stay far away...even they have attacked her. Richard Wolffe, please straighten this up. He's also here to plug his new book Renagade: The Making of a President.

Number 4: More on Sotomayor's attacks from the "Angry White Male Far Right Wing Nutjob" was in this case from National Review Online contributor John Derbyshire in reverse racism. Lawrence O'Donnell, what say thou?

Oddball: In 1917, JFK was born. In London, plastic bunnies (no, not the Playboy variety) are trash containers. In Dallas, birds are attacking police officers and TV reporters.

Best Persons: 3 - A passport was swiped from a New Zealand tourist from Scotland by a parrot. Pining for the Fjords? 2 - On Professor Harold Hill's Happy Hour, Craig T. Nelson said he never wanted to bail out the car makers. 1 - Cal Thomas will sail the Holland America Noordam along with Rich Lowry. Keith's hint: Just stay away from Lowry's cabin.

Musical Segue: Theme from Gilligan's Island.

Number 3: Adolph XLII joins Herr Goebles in defense on enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding torture. And Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) says he's seen the cvlassified memos that says that it worked, but that is wrong as wrong can be. And how did "Matthew Alexander" asked one why he wanted to slit "Alexander's" throat? To give information.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - New York City Mayor Michael Bloomburg apologised to a reporter from The New York Observer. Via a staffer.
Silver - National organization for Marriage (Carrie Prejean's organization) misspells "marriage" in an ad.
Gold - G. Gordon Liddy believes that Sotomayor is in that time of the month...especially now.

Number 1: So the far right wing blogging idiots claimed that last week's ManCow waterboarding was a hoax. Yeah, right, and ManCow Muller joins us to deny it all. I'm damn sure that was real H₂O in that pitcher in the video.

Enjoy the weekend, everyone. And I'll be back on Monday.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/28/09

Former Minnesota Governor Jessie "The Body, The Mind" Ventura is tonight's special guest.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/27/09

The Tie: Red with white microdots.

Number 5: Like we said last night, the far reich is on Sonia Sotomayor's case. They're calling her a racist, a bigot, uneducated (in spite of being a Princeton grad) and even her favorite meal - pigs ears and noodles - could cause a decision go her way. That okay with you, Eugene Robinson?

Meanwhile, the two lawyers who faced one another in Adolph vs. Gore in 2000, will join forces to sue the state of California to repeal Prop 8. And hell just became the Rockefeller Center skating rink at Christmas. John Dean, we finally get bipartianship at last?

Number 4: Just when Fredo Gonzalez thought he was out, Ms. Sotomayor pulled him back in. And he's blaming the Justice Department enhanced interrigation techniques torture on January 22, 2002 as White House Counsel. Well, Jay Bybee sent a couple memos and was cleared by Condi Rice, The Wicked Bitch of the West in her role of National Security Advisor. Tell us more, Chris Hayes from The Nation.

Oddball: In 1911 Vincent Price was born. Play Michael Jackson's "Thriller" in his honor. Remember the story of that suicidal man and the frustrated senior citizen? Here's the video proof. In Jacksonville, a fish camp saw a alligator in the men's room. I'll leave you to the jokes. And in Prague, a politican from the Social Democrat party was egged by students. "The Socialist Democrat Party. What...The...?" It's genius, genius I tells ya!

Best Persons: 3 - Security in an American airport saw a French guy from a drug for chemotheropy had missing fingerprints. 2 - Rabin Osman in Oregon called 911 to ask McDonald's for a juice box. 1 - Julien's of Los Angeles will auction off Elvis' perscription drug bottles. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Musical Segue: "Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building. Thank you and good night."

Number 3: Back to ManCow Muller and his thought about waterboarding was torture. Even to those who didn't want to admit to it, even to Inanity. Rachael Maddow, what say you?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Col. Ralph Peters of Fixed Noise wants to kill all those at Gitmo.
Silver - Another Fixed Noise actor, Bill Hemmer, heard about quoting Norman Thomas, but never mentioned it.
Gold - Mark Precorian on National Review Online says Judge Sotomayor should change the pronounciation of her name.

Number 1 (The Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!? Moment): Here's tonight's edition, compliments of ThinkProgress.org. See if you can make the connection between him and the Gabby Hayes wannabe from Blazing Saddles. And it ain't Roy Rogers' new "Triggerburgers", either!





And while speaking of connections, we'll connect again tomorrow night.

I Think I've Found My Worst...Person...IN THE WORLD!

This clown.

WARNING: NSFW, the kids or those Phillies fans who dislike clowns like the guy who posted this.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/26/09

The Tie: Blue, black, white and silver stripes.

Number 5: Sonia Sotomayor, Phi Beta Kappa at Princeton and Yale Law School and the nominee for the vacant Supreme Court position, faces opposition...from Comedian Boss Limbaugh, Turdblossom (who pushed forward the Harriet Myers nomination), National Review's web site and Fixed Noise. And did we need that graphic? Meanwhile, eleven Good Oldboysandgirls Party Senators who were against her appointment in 1995 to Court of Appeals are still in office. White House press sec Robert Gibbs gets the third degree. Meanwhile, Howard Fineman wll put the political spin on this.

Number 4: It looks like that Judge Sotomayor will have the needed 60 votes but don't tell that to Michael Steele "Sieve", GOP figurehead leader. Prof. Jonathon Turley looks at the legal matters of her nomination. In a subplot of the segment, California's Supreme Court upheld Prop 8, but allowed the 18,000 pre-banishment joint agreements for their living partners.

Oddball: Now with fun video goodness. If it's an Bank Holiday, then it's time for that annual rite of broken bones known as the Downhill Cheese Run in Glousteshire, England.



We have mascot-on-soccer player violence in Norway. It's the world's game, don't you know?



Meanwhile, WEWS anchors celebrate LeBron's big shots.


Best Persons: 3 - A Nebraska thief stole nine packs of smokes with a Bud Light box...but left it behind in Lincoln. 2 - A Chinese guy pushed a suicide attemper and got arrested. 1 - A second Tour de France...for prisioners. "A chance to getaway and escape" said one particapant. Wrong choice of words?

Musical Segue: Queen's Bicycle Race! Enjoy.

Number 3: Gen. Petraeus is for the closing of Gitmo and against enhanced interigation techniques waterboarding. So is Gen. Colin Powell, USA (Ret.), former Secratary of State in the first term of the Adolph XLIII Gestapo and also criticized Boss Limbaugh and W. Jonathon Alter anaylizes.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - David Zawarach calims Keith's heading this country toward socialism. The Baltimore Sun is headed toward bankruptcy.
Silver - A National Review blogger claims that it's been eight and a half years since 9/11. Brilliant mathmatics, chump.
Gold - Laura Ingram says that there were three detainees, echoing Ayatollah Dickcheney.

Number 1: The conserative morning show host who took waterboarding and denounced it as torture, ManCow Muller, joins us.

Sorry kids, no Still Bushed! or Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Moment this evening. Join us manana.

Don't Invite Dennis Eckersley Back to the NESN Booth Soon

While we here at The O Files are wishing Jerry Remy well as he recovers from cancer, NESN has been using fill ins on their Red Sox telecasts. On Friday (5/22), Dennis Eckersley, Hall of Fame starter and closer, as well as TBS studio anaylist, was in the anaylist's seat, and let's just say there were a couple of NSFW moments for the kids or offices. First, he blurts out a "Gianluca Pagliuca" moment that would have made Gary Miller proud:

Needless to say, that wasn't the only Ralph Kiner/Jerry Coleman malaprop Eck had. Listen closely to the name of the pitcher:

We could have read lips and knew Eck was not praying. Oh, and Eck, since you had to bring up the word "masterbate" I am forced to bring this out in your honor:

And You Wonder Why Fox Demoted Their Top NFL Director

They should demote their lead baseball producer. As per Fire Andy Reid Now, the following video in HD:

BTW, John Mayberry Jr. was sent back to Lehigh Valley after the Sunday game.

Recapping A Visit To Fallon's

Well, as stated, Keith was on Tomorrow Coast to Coast with Tom Snyder and Rona Bartlet Late Night With David Letterman Conan O'Brien Jimmy Fallon this morning ET, and the talked about the lack of dancing ability that Keith had for the Dance Challenge contest Fallon is holding, baseball cards (Keith gave away one of his cards to Fallon, modeled after after the 1959 Topps series) and showed a couple of Oddball clips with the kickass Japanese Robot of the week, the teacher and those crazy sheep dogs herding into the LEDs and all.

Have a safe holiday weekend, enjoy the barbeques and trips to the mountains, shores and do remember why we celebrate the holiday. Live blogging resumes this Tuesday (5/26).

Apologies On No Live Blog

I would like to apologize for not having a live blog this evening (5/22). I had a long night of sleep and missed the show.

However, you may have noticed a new subhead. ManCow Muller of WLS-AM 890 in Chicago did take a waterboarding challenge and lasted all of six seconds and did indeed state that indded he feared for his life, proving Sean Inanity is inded chicken$#!+. As a result, Keith will donate $10K to Veterans of Valor, and so I will donate $1.00 to same charity ASAP. You still can contribute by e-mailing me at TheInatitFund@gmail.com, though the most financial ones though were scams for British Lottery prizewinnings...

Other highlights from my dazed and confused stupor:

• Gov. Rich Perry (R-Texas) wants to use $11 million in stimulai to repair the Texas governor's mansion to win WPitW. Runner up was the folks at Verizon who wanted to have an Ohio sherriff pay $20 to reactivate a customer's phone that he defaulted on. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?! And second runner up goes to Liberty university, a/k/a Moral Majority Tech for kicking a Christian Democratic club off campus.
• And a beauty from WDIV in Detroit, you know, the station that ran the crawl of Matt Millen's Detroit Lions career in the Super Bowl Sunday in America pre-game back in February? Mr. Eaton Beaver turned 69 that day.
  Matt, was that you? Sadly, Post Newsweek, owners of WDIV, had the video removed from YouTube.
• Oh, yeah they ran the new "Follow the Bouncing Boss Limbaugh" graphic in a repeat of Wednesday's WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!? moment. It registered a 4.2 in the West Palm Beach area from what we understand.

Anyway, recap of Mr. Olbermann on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon in a bit.

Keith Visits Jimmy Fallon Tonight (5/22)

Did I ever tell you about the time Jimmy Fallon was with Sarah Palin's nice twin sister on Saturday Night Live a decade ago?

Well he's taken over as the host of Late Night from Conan O'Brien, who's moving on to take over for Jay Leno on The Tonight Show starting June 1st. Fallon welcomes Keith tonight to his show at 12:37 AM ET/PT. Yes, there will be a recap.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/21/09

The Tie: Red with white micropindots.

Number 5: In the corner to your left, the 44th President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama. And in the corner on your right, the former Vice President of the United States, The Ayatollah Dickcheney. The neocons applauded twice to the American Enterprise Institute speech, but Obama got the knockout punch. Gitmo was a recruting school for terrorism. And it wasn't Obama who let them free. Two-thirds of them were released in the Adolph XLIII Gestapo Herr Goebbles was involved with, and some of the transferees will go to SuperMax prisions. Just ask Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-FL), a JAG attorney in the Army Reserves. And again, President Obama rejeceted waterboarding as a device to get them to talk. Cheney told him that he can take those points and shove it. Bullshit. I'll spare you the rest of the bullshit from the past, including the Saddam Hussein/Al-Qaeda 9-11 connection.

Number 4: For more on the current and former administrations views is Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, USA (Ret.), the former Chief of Staff under Gen. Colin Powell, USA (Ret.)

Update from TheInatitFund@gmail.com: Twenty-nine days. Do we need to carry on?

Number 3: Meanwhile, those six Democratic senators were spared the wrath of Obama as that 56 other partyy members voting against closing Gitmo. Howard Fineman, what are your comments?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Billo says he's middle class even though he makes $10 million, and his complaint about NYPD random frisking is being challeneged by the ACLU.
Silver - Rep. John Boehner claims the CIA lied to Congress.
Gold - Prof. Harold Hill wants an apology from Baba Wawa. Roll that beautiful View footage. Now shut up.

Number 1: Keith's special comment on Cheney's lies. Video below.

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See you tomorrow.

This One's For You, Keith!

To Keith at his Sports Journal, who's been working in some Family Guy clips into his weekly divisional baseball recaps:

EDIT: The other was removed because of a violation of the terms of service. Sorry, had to be done.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/20/09

The Tie: Brown, cream and black stripes.

Number 5: Wow, that bipartisan thing finally worked out well. The Democrats jumped to the other side of Adolph XLIII land after a 90-6 on the money for Gitmo's closing. The reason? A lack of focus on a plan and some others returning to terrorism. Eleven of them. And those comments of Sen. James Imhoffe (R-OK) echoing last night's WTF moment about prisoners get better healthcare than our common public...Ummmm, okay. Richard Wolffe, your thoughts? Add some BREAKING NEWS that the first detainee at Club Gitmo - Ahmed Ghailiani -will come to New York in a civilian court soon.

There's a supermax in a small town outside Helena, Montana called Hardin that wants many of 100 detainees right now as we speak. Here's that city's economic director, Greg Smith, to tell us about it from that site.

Number 4: Newt Gingrich, thaty noted pathological controdiction said that CIA lying to a Democrat isn't okay as he said today on GMA. it's not politics, but national security as it were. Tell it to Peter Hokstera...and Leon Panetta, the CIA director. Any fresh ideas, Jonathon Alter?

Oddball: TheInatitFund@gmail.com update has been four whole weeks since Inanity's waterboarding proclaimation. FORE! One golfshot into Petco Park (PETA's worst nightmare) gives you free appitizers at P. F. Chang's with any purchase. Video proof below.

And disturbing, er, good news from the Space Station...three of the guests drink recycled number one.

Number 3: It will not be the Democrat Socialist Party, but the Good Oldboysandgirls Party says now that the Democrats are marching toward socialist policies. And they claim it was to be a success. Say hello to Miss Wasilla 1984, Evil Twin of Tiny Fey supports him with that teabagging comment and we'll greet The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza to let you have this sink in.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) will face Kay Bailey hutchenson, but his spokesperson says he doesn't want a whorehouse.
Silver - Billo and Comedian Boss Limbaugh gets called out as frauds by...Michael Weinersavage?!

Gold - Prof. Harold Hill got P\/\/N3D by Baba Wawa and Whoopi Goldberg, and they had the video to prove it. Memorial services for his attitude and his credibility will be at the Church of St. Ego of the Arrogance on Friday.

Number 1: On the subject of Mr. Limbaugh, he now wants a 30-day truce between Keith and him for that footage of Boss Limbaugh bouncing around. All we can say is WHISKEY...TANGO...FOXTROT!?

See you tomorrow.