Countdown Live Blog: 11/16/09

The Tie: Red with black and white alternate dots.

Number 5: Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) outlined his plans to kill health care by adding amendments and having filibusters within six weeks.  Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA) will force the session to go all weekend on a 24/7 basis.  Meanwhile in New Orleans, at the Convention Center they found many cases of critical illnesses - four to the hospital ASAP - at the first of free clinics sponsored by donations by fans of this program.  Sen. Mary Landreau (D-LA), a conservative was asked to be on the show and declined, but Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) did join us.

Mark Markwell, a supervising producer of the show wrote about the scene in New Orleans.

Number 4: The five masterminds behind the 9/11 disaster responded by Rudy Giuliani as a farce.  Contradicting what he said three years ago.  The former prosecutor and so-called America's Mayor testified in the 20th bomber's trail, and some on the far right praise Obama for doing this.  Jonathan Alter, can you please tell us more?

Number 3: Miss Wasilla 1984, Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister, author of Going Rogue went on Oprah to plug her five long chapter book in which she threw John McCain's presidential campaign under the Straight Talk Bus.  The blow by blow and recycled stuff including those Katie Couric interviews that the real Tina Fey and Amy Poehler nailed last year on SNL.  As for that quitting the Alaska Governor's job, "I'm not retreating, I'm just reloading."  And Levi Johnston (or as he is now calling him by his porn name Ricky Hollywood) is going to be at the Thanksgiving dinner next week.  Roll that beautiful turkey killing footage!

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World, the Fixed News Edition Where Everything is WRONG!)

Bronze - Steve Doocy of ClusterFixed and Fiends didn't realize President Obama bowed to those that they don't bow to leaders.  So did Nixon and Eisenhower.

Silver - Prof. Harold Hill doesn't like the trail of the 9/11 conspirators. Disprove it on Wikipedia.

Gold - Bill Kristol goes anti-American on the Fort Hood shooter, and loses it.  Forget the trial, put him to death now.

Number 1: All fiction.  Petty and pathetic, complete with Jimmy Stewart's Harvey-like imaginary conservations.  That's what the McCainites are saying about Going Rogue.  Miss Wasilla lied in other words.  They even have the e-mails on file that say they prove it.  You know, like the hiring of a nutrition expert for her. AP says a dozen errors were in the book, with a quarter of a percent working on it.  Craig Crawford, did you read the book yet?

As for Elwood P. Dowd, he'll be here soon.  I'll see you tomorrow...I'm off to watch WWE RAW.

Countdown Live Blog: 11/11/09

The Tie: Purple.

Number 5: Tea Party protestors inflated their numbers, and now they will go back to the town hall meetings in misinforming America on health care.  Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-TN) is having them done in prisons, on the phone, and now will astroturf their own events.  Roll that not-so-beautiful astroturfing footage.  Meanwhile, Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) will personally seek to kill any bill with public options in it.  Howard Fineman, are there some straight jackets available to the Good Oldboysandgirls Party?

And speaking of last week's media opportunity, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN DWARF STAR PLUTO) apologized for use of a picture from Dacau and was not ideal, even for those fifteen feet away.  And she didn't use the word "sorry" at all.  In addition, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart showed the same footage from Inanity's show that was also used by Prof. Harold Hill's program, both on Fixed Propaganda Channel, and Bachmann also used her taxpayer-funded site to promote the "press conference" held a couple weeks ago.  Clarence Page, is there a method to her madness (if she had any)?

Number 4: When paying veterans who are under 65 with over 2,200 passed away for a lack of insurance and Sen. Tom Colburn (R-OK) holds a bill endorsed by every veterans organization increasing veterans' benefits, especially on this date.  And with that, every day according to Harvard University, six of them die.  Paul Reickhoff, a leader of a veterans group of those in Iraq and Afghanistan, joins us.

Oddball: In 1938, Typhoid Mary Mallon, died. The new Highway 64 won't be opening for a while thanks to another week thanks to an avalanche.  In New Zealand, four baby sharks was born via an unscheduled Caesarian Section.

Best Persons: 3 - Principal Suzy Shepard has a new funding source: One dollar = one test report.  Bribery  2 - Pirate Rupert didn't say anything about Prof. Harold Hill was agreeing about Obama being a racist...or did he? 1 - Miss Wasilla was flummoxed about the design of the new presidential dollar according to Fixed Propaganda.

Musical Segue: The Ohio Players' "Fire".  Once again, I'd like to say FUCK YOU FRANK CENTOLA AND HIS FUCKING FAMILY!

Number 3: And speaking of Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister, her new book, Going Rogue has five chapters.  Five long chapters according to a story leaked out, throwing John McCain staffers from last year under the tour bus, and her faith beliefs.  And she wants to be a talk show host.  (Personally, I might be setting some sort of record for most tags in a live Countdown blog.)  Richard Wolffe, himself an author, joins us to riffle through it all.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Lou Dobbs has quit his CNN job.  Who wants a used Lou Dobbs?  Who wants a used Lou Dobbs impression? (Where's my teeth?)

Silver - Billo is back in paranoid mode, evoking a note that he has the biggest rated show on TV.

Gold - The American Colalition for Clean Coal Electricity sent forged letters on NAACP to congresspersons on their stand, and then sent two veterans group some e-mails on their stand on this important date.

Number 1: I disliked Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (even if he blew the line he had in Airplane! about dragging [Bill] Lambeer and [Bill] Walton up and down the court forty minutes a night on Celebrity Jeopardy!; can you imagine Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek and Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery mocking him on SNL if that was scripted?) when he faced the 76ers back in the 1980's, but now he has a rare from of leukemia and now I am feeling for him as he speaks to Keith tonight about the health care crisis.

And with that, we'll see you tomorrow night.

Countdown Live Blog: 11/9/09

Haven't done one of these in a while...and a virtual middle finger as well.

The Tie: Ornage, red and gold stripes...a new one for me.

Number 5: You know you have a losing battle on health care reform when you bring a seven month old baby to do your talking points. Sen. Whitehouse (D-RI) tells us on the difference between the House and Senate versions on the bill, and Howard Fineman tells us that Sen. joe Liebman (I-CT) is an idiot.

Number 4: There's a bit of abortion here, still illegal in the USA.  Chris Hayes of The Nation explains.

Oddball: Plug of the week: George Carlin's Last Words.  The book comes out tomorrow.  Here comes that naughty New Mexico soccer player once again, and the Mugshot Halloween Hall of Fame.

Best Persons: 3 - Miss Wasliia 1984 still wants to put "In God We Trust" on the coins.  2 - Mike Huckabee told a reporter didn't like the people he had Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister on her side.  1 - Rep Eric Cantor (R-VA) agreed with Comedian Boss Taitz Limbaugh on calling Obama a dictator.  How about that '45 picture in Doctau?  For that, no music for us.

Number 3: Forgive the fact that the Good Oldboysandgirls Party that they will lead to Democrats losses in eleven months, but they won statewide races in New Jersey and Virginia.  Caucus leader Rep. Mike Pence (R-IN) told all on Fixed Propaganda Channel.  And the Tea party is for real in Florida, and Gov. hayley Barbour (R-MS) says that Obama's popular in a Donovan McNabb way.  Comedian Boss Taitz Limbaugh, your thoughts?  Richard Wolffe, what is this stuff going on?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Comedian Boss Taitz Limbaugh is slowly losing it on Fort Hood by saying the shooter was teased on.

Silver - Lloyd Blankfein from Goldman Sachs says that he'a a banker doing God's work.

Gold - Pirate Rupert agrees that Professor Harold Hill calls President Obama a racist.

Number 1: No less than the now quarterly published MAD Magazine says that Prof. Harold Hill is a nutcase, just like the unfair, not so balanced Fixed Propaganda Channel.  Meanwhile, SNL puts Fixed Propaganda Channel spot on via parody, and the Good Oldboysandgirls Party's Express to Oblivion has been derailed according to Rep. Joseph Gow (R-LA), but 29 Democrats voted against it, including Rep. Heath Shuler (D-NC).  We give Margaret Carlson Alfred E. Newman's quiry: "What?  Me Worry?"

See you tomorrow night.

Countdown Live Blog: 10/6/09

The Tie: Plain black.

Number 5: Wanna work for Wellpoint, forget it.  Try an 18.5% increase in Maine, and go to court.  meanwhile, President Obama has 63% in a new NPR poll on a mixed public and private poll in front of every doctor...well, one from every state.  Sen. Barasso (R-WY) is alarmed on Medicare cuts, and those at Daily Kos looked at the state of Arkansas with 63% in favor of the puiblic option, and Sen. Blanche Lincoln (D Traitor-AR) voted against that, so Howard Fineman, what are the options? And Dr. Paul Hakfeld from a group calling themselves Mad as Hell Doctors was there and explains why.

Number 4: Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) is a Republican who has something the far reich doesn't have: brains, and he has thrown Prof. Harold Hill and Comedian Boss Limbaugh under the bus because they don't represent the party policy.  Just ask Michael Steele Sieve, the Good Oldboysandgirls Party leaderless leadership with a Senior's Bill of Rights.  Also, the guy who led the McCain-Tina Fey Evil Twin Sister Epic Failure tossed Miss Wasilla 1984 from the train, am I right Richard Wolffe?

No Oddball or Best Persons tonight; instead, from the Football Night in America show last night that I missed, a heartwarming football story about a coach who helped his opposition do something special for one of the opposing team's players who had come down with cancer.  Video to follow later.

Number 3: Back to that Fancy Pageant Walker and her 2012 presidential chances:  slim...and none.  So as we stated, a guy who ran the McCain/Miss Congeniality of Miss Alaska 1984 will be The Apocalypse, name of John Weaver and Steve Schmidt, the latter would be asked on Friday (10/2), so are we correct to assume a hell in a handbasket scenerio for the GOP when you were there, Margaret Carlson?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - George Will denies climate change for the seventh column in a row.  Say, ThinkProgress.org called him.

Silver - Comedian Boss Limbaugh lays out the Olympic vote and cliches as well. The USOC and the IOC are at odds.  The White House was right: it was about politics.

Gold - Rep. Paul Brown (R-GA) told a guy who was suicidal to go to an ER for medicine he can't afford for depression.  Paul Brown is not a doctor, he plays one on TV.

Number 1: As Stealers' Wheel once sang in their one hit wonder, Keith's stuck in the middle with David Letterman and the man from CBS News who tried to extort the new King of Late Night.  Tell us all, Mr. O.

I'm off to watch The Favre Bowl Big Ben on WWE RAW, so I'll see you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 9/17/09

Big night tonight: Both Ted Kennedy, Jr. and John Dean are here tonight, Teddy to talk about his dad, and John Dean to tell us what they were looking for that June night in the Watergate.

The Tie: Two-tone light blue shadow stripes.

Number 5: Why did a student lose a insurance policy? A $10 million penalty against that group in South Carolina because he had AIDS. Meanwhile, at UM-College Park, President Obama said "Public Option" and the crowd cheered, then booed about the Sen. Baulk-us (D-MT) bill. Howard Dean called it the worst piece of crud in 30 years. Yargggh! First Lady Michelle will tour with a soft focus on healthcare reform. Lawrence O'Donnell, do we have any idea what will be the answer?

Countdown Live Blog: 9/16/09

The Tie: Brown, tan and black stripes.

Number 5: Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT) is chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, and now you can expect to pay $12 million under his proposed "compromise" bill. This bill will go down and go down hard. So many strings, so little time... and big insurance - which financed his campaign - responded with big gains on Wall Street. Howard Fineman does not believe that you should as the late Bruce Eric Smallwood circa 1976 WPEN "slang language" newscasts believe that "everything's going up so they're going to have to UP YOURS!" And then, Wendell Potter joins us from Philly to explain this all to you after blowing a whistle at Cigna.

Number 4: Former President Jimmy Carter's whispered fears have been true. All in the guise of health care reform, and the comments were recounted at his self-named library in Atlanta during a meeting last night (9/15), and then Good Oldboysandgirls Party chairman Michael Steele Sieve says that Carter's wrong, and is a distraction. And those at ClusterFixed and Fiends used the Stalking points of the Party of Nein, while Comedian Boss Limbaugh called Carter a "hemmoroid", speaking from an asshole like him.

So we have a dreaded glitch with Melissa Harris-Lacewell, who is supposed to talk about it... and there she is!

Number 3: And now, some examples of "racism" on President Obama. See Van Jones and Professor Harold Hill, Comedian Boss Limbaugh and Bill Orally on ACORN.

Best Persons: 3 - Dont play cop in louisiana. 2 - Lamar Alexander asks for a czar. What else is new? 1 - Former beauty queen at ClusterFixed and Fiends shows that ACORN clip about killing her lover.

Musical Segue: Boney maroney!

William Durant offered a company in 1908 called General Motors, and Keith's grandfather passed on it.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN DWARF PLANET PLUTO) of worried about food safety.

Silver - Prof. Harold Hill had a meltdown on Joe McCarthy. Billo has the rights to the Joe Mccarthy name BTW. He screwed it up.

Gold - Rep. Joe "The Heckler" Wilson (R-SC) lied about being a immigration lawyer. He's a real estate lawyer.

Number 1: I am required by law to play this again as Miss Wasilla 1984 has become a public speaker as per Keith's tease this evening:

Tonight, Keith's sarcastic response...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

And Musto's here. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!

Countdown Live Blog: 8/31/09

The Tie: Navy, maroon and Vegas Gold stripes.

Number 5: Kill The Bill. That's the Good Oldboysandgirls Party new stance by four of their Senators. Meanwhile, in a letter on Saturday night read at Ted Kennedy's grave called for access to health care for all, and earlier in the day, his grandson Max delivered the same message in a prayer. Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said that Ted had to compromise on it, and Sen. Bennett and Barasso (R-UT and WY) and Grasslie (R-IA) want to beat "Obama Care". Gov. Patrick (D-MA) will hold state elections on January 19, and Ted's widow will not serve as interim replacement. Lawrence O'Donnell repeats what has been said.

Who will be the next senator from Back Bay? Mama Bear Arianna Huffington joins us to throw darts at the bulls eye.

Number 4: Herr Goebles, The Ayatollah Dickheadcheney, went on Fixed Noise Sunday this past weekend, and says that the Obama administration (defending his enhanced interrogation techniques torture in the process) should be allowed to break the laws. Pot, kettle. Mr. Black would like to see you. Cheney didn't know who was in charge of the CIA end, either. The Adolph XLIII Gestapo approved everything and are immune to it. Raise his terrible level from red to maroon. Jeremy Scahill from The Nation rejoins us to read into the tea leaves.

Oddball: Frederic March was born 112 years ago yesterday. In Beijing, an assistant to a guy who dissapears into stuff. In India, pole pillow fighting.

Best Persons: 3 - Robert F. McDonnell, and his thesis claims that women in the workplace bad. 2 - Rear Adm. Gregory J. Smith sacks Rendon Group. 1 - Rep. Pete Olsen (R-TX) had a story about Brittney, and then it was a lie. And man, was he corrected by the Democratic Protesters in the crowd.

Musical Segue: "Do Re Mi" by Mary Martin in The Sound of Music.

Number 3: More Fun With Far Right Wingnuts Gone Carzy: Rep. Lynn Jenkins (R-KS) supported a pardon for Jack Johnson, whose opposition was "the Great White Hope" when she didn't know what it meant. Oops! Meanwhile, that douchenozzle who told three-time WPitW winner Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) claimed that he meant to call himself a extremist, not terrorist. Stay Classy, sir. And in Texas, Debra Medina is running for governor in the Lone Star State, and she - like Rick Perry - wants Texas to leave the USA. She claims that there's going to be a war. Clarence Page, where the hell are their marbles?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Betsy McCollugh went on CNBC to lie her brains out on the health care bill. Why?

Silver - Pat Boone claims that cancer cells as "miniture Darth Vaders from Star Wars". Claims it's liberalism.

Gold - Michael Schuler went on ClusterFixed and Fiends to claim terrorism is going to happen. Traitor.

Number 1: Oh, Professor Harold Hill, you never fail to let all of us down. Misspelled words, misquoting others, and as paranoid as usual. Oligarcy, Teddy Roosevelt "speak softly and carry a big stick", Shakespeare's rolling over in his grave LHMFAO at you and misquote him, too. And in the midst of losing over 50 advertisers, too. This czar business began with Nixon, then Reagan. Next time, get your facts straight.

BTW, I'm still looking for a replacement for the recently resign JFein, just contact me at TheInatitFund@gmail.com, and I'll see you tomorrow night.

Countdown Live Blog: 8/27/09

The Tie: Rust, yellow, black and cream stripes.

Number 5: The crowds have waited hours to say their farewell to Sen. Edward Kennedy at his brother's Presidential Library in Boston. A private mass at Cape Cod, then an 80-plus motorcade to Boston. Andrea Mitchell reports from the state capital of Massachusetts.

And who will fill the seat that now stands vacant, now that a interim senator will be named? The law needs to be change by the Democrats, and Gov. Deval Patrick will fill in the story. Howard Fineman, what can you tell us?

Number 4: There is a Twitter feed now on the vigil from the Kennedy family, and then there is the whole health care he fought for. Sen John McCain (R-AZ) was asked about the possible spark on the whole enchilada, and slammed him. He's willing to cross party lines, and the members of the Good Oldboysandgirls Party voted against it, and then the public option as well. Lawrence O'Donnell joins us to dissect this like a frog in biology class.

Oddball: Krakatoa, East of Java blew up in 1883. Craig Kilborn and the 1969 movie producer flunked geography. Krakatoa was actually northwest of Java. A Chinese woman has kung fu nunnery. And before she cut her head, she pulled eight cars with her locks. London Zoo's female gorilla population has a photo of a French gorilla coming soon.

Best Persons: 3 - The Murdoch Street Journal had a conflict with Mark Penn. 2 - Steve Inskeep of NPR didn't fall for Michael Steele Sieve's trap. 1 - A AstroTurf conservative group is suspending their health care ad campaign due to the death of Sen. Kennedy.

Musical Segue: The Chairman of the Board's "The Best is Yet To Come."

Number 3: Say hello to Rep. Lynn Jenkins (R-KS) who had a faux pas on the wording of "The Great White Hope" and was unaware about the traditional GOP white person seven months into Obama's presidential term. Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) said it was a Freudian slip and apologized, and oh here we go...

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Skeezix attacked MSNBC as paranoid and racist. Pot, kettle.

Silver - Professor Harold Hill's 46-sponsorless attack has him hiding and said he'll be stronger. And watch MSNBC, he says, for a terrible event.

Gold - Those douchenozzles of Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) are now on videotape. Now all of those involved are making up lies about it.

Number 1: Mis Wasilla 1984 stood up another group in Alaska after praising Prof. Harold Hill, and meanwhile, embattled Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) is now possibly Hiking The Old Impeachment Trail^SM by avoiding the possible impeachment by holding a presser, and Christian Finnegan delivers the punchline, thank you.

And don't forget (weather permitting here in Philly), JFein will be in for me tomorrow night. I'll see you on Monday (8/31).

Countdown Live Blog: 8/24/09

The Tie: Maroon with cream micropindotsTM.

Number 5: A federal judge released the papers of the Adolph XLIII Gestapo on torture, and there will be a Special Prosecutor named John Brennan, the same John Brennan who approved mock executions, death threats, abuse worse than the enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding, but there will be no prosicution of Herr Goebles Cheney? Jane Mayer fron The New Yorker explains it all... and Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, USA (Ret.) follows with his insight.

Number 4: The Good Oldboysandgirls Party that has The Madness of the Sen. Charley Grassley (R-IA) said that he responded to a question of used by President Obama who rebuted it. Sen. John McCain rebuted his running mate Miss Wasilla 1984, and Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) shot it down, and Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-) will use fillibuster (I hardly knew her!) proofing. Lawrencve O'Donnell, shadowboxing won't work.

Oddball: It was on this date in 1980, Keith ran into that MTA Route 7, which led to Dr. Renee Richards' operation. No, not that one. Ich Bien Ein Berlino, into Melanie Brown's piggyback ride. Also in Germany, Markus Schmidt popped the question stacking 150 bales of hay.

Best Persons: 3 - Cresole, England mayor Ian Stafford was caught wearing purloined ladies' panties. 2 - Nicolle Wallace an aide on Adolph XLIII's color coded system movement by Tom Ridge and is a wuss. 1 - Sen. Joe Lieberman said Alec Baldwin should run against him for Senate.

Musical Segue: "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" by A-RETH-A!

Number 3: Death Panels. Death Book. Death Spam...lovely Spam, wonderful Spam! (Monty Python joke!) The joke that is the GOP is at this hour reaching for straws. Fixed News actor Chris Wallace (whose father, Mike will give a talking to, in, say... 60 Minutes) told all about the "death book" from the VA used and dated by the Adolph XLIII Gestapo from The Murdoch Street Journal from Jim Tomey's Faith and Values department on euthanasia. Soundtrack by The Grateful Dead? Eugene Robinson will pull the plug on this in 3...2...1...!

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Skeezix is confused on health care.

Silver - And Prof. Harold Hill is back from vacation suspension now without 33 advertisers, and again pushing the tsars/czars commie crap.

Gold - Rep. Wally Herger (R-CA) said that a visitor to a proud terrorist, and said "God bless you." What a pair of douchenozzles.

Number 1: It's official. Michael Jackson's death was murder. The update from Gerald Posner that it was indeed Jacko's personal doctor.

See you tomorrow night.

Countdown Live Blog: 8/12/09

The Tie: Sage green. Looks like the fall collection must be coming out.

Number 5: Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) has become a two-faced liar. So has Sen. Johnny Isakson (R-GA). This after President Obama praised them for helping out on the Health Care reform. Grassley said that you have every right to fear about those "death panels" and lost $1.2 million from Big Pharma. Isakon co-sponsored a bill on living wills, and Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK), probably the only sane Good Oldboysandgirls Party member in The Last Frontier blasted Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister on that subject. Mama Bear Ariana Huffington joins us to seek theat bipartianism needed to settle this.

Nutcases are coming up, now anti-government militas are on the raise. The Southern Poverty Law Center now claims that a changing demographic, with hispanics and many others coming into the country, and President Obama in charge. Mark Potok joins us from said SPLC headquarters for more about this.

Number 4: Professor Harold Hill is losing everything, especially after his racist comments on President Obama hating white people: his mind, his cred and now his advertisers. SC Johnson (A Family Company), Sargento Cheese, Progressive Insurance (Flo just delivered a double barrel bird flip a la Stone Cold Steve Austin at Beck), lawyers.com, Proctor and Gamble, Geico (The Gecko was pissed off as was Oobi getting paid), Men's Wearhouse (they sure didn't like it), and quite possibly State Farm (Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm isn't there.) Chris Hayes from The Nation joins us to seek the answers from colorofchange.org's petition.

Oddball: Christy Mathewson was born in this day in 1870. And there was a mess in California with a semi full of tomatoes crashing into Amtrak's train. In New York City, Mentoria Hutchenson dances to direct traffic. Allen Funt did this years ago on Candid Camera.

Best Persons: 3 - ClusterFixed and Fiends' Steve Doocy has an imaginary friend. And no, it's not named Blooregard Q. Kazoo. He copied The Heritage Foundation's five questions about the Town Hall meetings. 2 - Steven Hawking snapped on Inverstor's Business Daily's commentary on the proposed US Health Care being like the UK, responding via The Guardian. And he enjoys the National Health System in the UK. 1 - Ed Morrissey blasts the far right nut jobs on training prisioners. He's also a writer for hotair.com. And a conserative. Good for you, sir!

Musical Segue: "True" by Spandau Ballet.

Number 3: Turdblossom did indeed get his hand into the cookie jar on the politically charged firing of the 2006 attorneys. So sayeth the House Judiciary Committee overseeing this. One of those who was sacked, New Mexico's David Iglesias, joins the show to tell all. And Harriet "the Spy" Meyers, noted ex-Supreme Court Justice nominee, told them about it, too. For Iglesias, this could very well be revenge, a dish served best to people of taste (or no taste whatsoever like the Adolph XLIII Gestapo) cold.

Number 2 (Worst Person on the World)

Bronze - Comedian Boss Limbaugh hates being called a Nazi. Pot, kettle, you all know Mr. Black.

Silver - Lou Dobbs claims Howard Dean forwarded left-wing facism. Called him Dracula instead. Dean's brother is calling for his sacking, so he can work in the horse stables with those illegal ailens he employs.

Gold - Skeezix claims that GE, NBC Universal's parent, made radio frequency modules as components for Iraqi roadside bombs, and it's all unconfirmed. It's all denied. And now Keith wants Bill fired. This time, it's serious.

Number 1: Did you hear Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN DWARF PLANET PLUTO) saying that Americorps is a "secret army for President Obama?" Her son, Harrison, just joined Americorps. Cue the Carl Lewis "UH-OH!" It's the manna that keeps on giving from Minnesota. in other White House Idol 2012 news, ex-Pa. Sen. Rick Santorum (R) wants to run for President. Oh, Christian Finnegan, punchline thee.

See you tomorrow night. I'm off to watch Pedro Martinez in his Phillies debut (unless Gary Matthews is on, then my TV audio gets muted.)

Countdown Live Blog: 8/11/09

You may have noticed a little change or two as noted on the sub head of the title. ERT would have been four years old this month. So to our old friends - Becky, et al - here's a tribute on your anniversary by doing "Old School" with the ERT format.

The Tie: The color purple. It makes girls wanna make Whoopi... (Stella, aka Karen Scioli, the check's in the mail!)

Number 5: Three town meetings, three different results. President Obama held a town meeting in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. The real Americans that turned out from screened guests, and protesters from the lemmings of Miss Wasilla 1984 on the "death watch" on their grandparents. Obama 44 denied the whole mess. Meanwhile, Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) tried to pull questions from a fishbowl. That turned into an immediate shouting match and booing on abortion questions, and even asked if anyone wanted to drop Medicare. And there was a fight. Sen. Arlen Specter (D-PA) was asked if ever read the Koran from a guest who was ejected for protesting too much. meanwhile, President Obama forefronted his speech stating there will be options that will make them affordable, and no one will be cut between you and the doctor. Lawrence O'Donnell, throw your two cents in.

Number 4: Meanwhile, a man with a firearm that was a protester - Richard Ryan - at 9:40 AM EDT and was arrested. See you in court. Meanwhile, we have the racism daily double: Black congressman, a swatiska vandalized on his office sign. Rep. David Scott (D-GA) the victim. Meanwhile, a Michigan Democratic representative faced worse than those in the 1960's, and two reps in Florida had a health care town meeting, and one of them was angered to see so much racism and wrong things, that person left. Prof. Mellissa Lacewell Harris from Princeton University joins us recalling her youth in the 1970s.

Oddball: On this date in 1946, Marilyn vos Savant was born. yes, that's her real name... In Thailand, a baby elephant fell into a manhole. Cue the bulldozer, and the Dumbo jokes. In Holland, another flying bicycle...bicycle...I love to ride my bicycle...

Best Persons (The Big Lies about universal Health Care): 3 - Inverstor's Business Daily says Steven Hawking would not qualify for British National Health Care. 2 - Gregg Jarrett blames Nancy Pelosi as a Nazi on Fixed Noise. 1 - Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) says the angry mobs are welcomed at his anti-health care meeting.

Musical Segue: Some sorta Motown music.

Number 3: So, where did Tina Fey Evil Twin Sister's fear of death panels for Universal Health Care come from? How about poor management of her state's health system for the elderly. Federal results saw those in The Last Frontier were plagued with problems. Sen. John Isakson (R-GA) has even denounced it all. Shannyn Moore (no, NOT Matt Hardy's Number 1 MFer) joins us from Anchorage with more.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Skeezix says too much of ratings and the cover of Parade and such. there's no news on Fixed Noise...just hate.

Silver - Prof. Niall Ferguson compared Obama to Felix the Cat in the Financial Times.

Gold - Dick Morris claims that there will be terrorized Democrats. And Fixed Noise did not do a thing at all, just like they did with Prof. Harold Hill and the Obama "racist" comments, and now have lost Geico and Sargento Cheese as sponsors of his telecast paranoia hour.

Number 1: The ashamed native Philadelphian Michele Maglagangbang Malkin is now being challenged as the voice of the new female voice of the Good Olodboysandgirls Party by Megan McCain, you know, John's daughter? The one who slammed Coltergeist and Laura Ingraham by saying that they should shut up after attacking her. BTW, is it just me or does Ingraham sound a lot like Roseanne on a bender? Chris Kofinis is here to put some insight on the whole mess.

There you have it. I will see you tomorrow night for more sanity gone mad.

Further Proof That Prof. Harold Hill is Losing His Mind...

Yes, he's talking to himself. Three words, Glenn: Seek professional help!

Countdown Live Blog: 5/29/09

The Tie: Gray with black diagonal stripes.

Number 5: The Goodoldboysandgirls Party smear campaign on Justice Sonia Sotomayor has become The Civil War. Michael Steele, RNC chairman, Charles Krauthammer, Peggy Noonan and Sen. Jon Cornyn (R-TX) have said people like Comedian Boss Limbaugh should stop being part of the process and just SHUT THE FUCK UP! Meanwhile, Limbaugh compared Sotomayor to former KKK leader (and politician) David Duke. Bad choice, Mr. Limbaugh. So have Inanity, Professor Harold Hill, Tom Tancredo, Michael Weinersavage, Coultergeist, Turdblossom, Fred Barnes, Bill Bennett been told to stay far away...even they have attacked her. Richard Wolffe, please straighten this up. He's also here to plug his new book Renagade: The Making of a President.

Number 4: More on Sotomayor's attacks from the "Angry White Male Far Right Wing Nutjob" was in this case from National Review Online contributor John Derbyshire in reverse racism. Lawrence O'Donnell, what say thou?

Oddball: In 1917, JFK was born. In London, plastic bunnies (no, not the Playboy variety) are trash containers. In Dallas, birds are attacking police officers and TV reporters.

Best Persons: 3 - A passport was swiped from a New Zealand tourist from Scotland by a parrot. Pining for the Fjords? 2 - On Professor Harold Hill's Happy Hour, Craig T. Nelson said he never wanted to bail out the car makers. 1 - Cal Thomas will sail the Holland America Noordam along with Rich Lowry. Keith's hint: Just stay away from Lowry's cabin.

Musical Segue: Theme from Gilligan's Island.

Number 3: Adolph XLII joins Herr Goebles in defense on enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding torture. And Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) says he's seen the cvlassified memos that says that it worked, but that is wrong as wrong can be. And how did "Matthew Alexander" asked one why he wanted to slit "Alexander's" throat? To give information.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - New York City Mayor Michael Bloomburg apologised to a reporter from The New York Observer. Via a staffer.
Silver - National organization for Marriage (Carrie Prejean's organization) misspells "marriage" in an ad.
Gold - G. Gordon Liddy believes that Sotomayor is in that time of the month...especially now.

Number 1: So the far right wing blogging idiots claimed that last week's ManCow waterboarding was a hoax. Yeah, right, and ManCow Muller joins us to deny it all. I'm damn sure that was real H₂O in that pitcher in the video.

Enjoy the weekend, everyone. And I'll be back on Monday.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/21/09

The Tie: Red with white micropindots.

Number 5: In the corner to your left, the 44th President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama. And in the corner on your right, the former Vice President of the United States, The Ayatollah Dickcheney. The neocons applauded twice to the American Enterprise Institute speech, but Obama got the knockout punch. Gitmo was a recruting school for terrorism. And it wasn't Obama who let them free. Two-thirds of them were released in the Adolph XLIII Gestapo Herr Goebbles was involved with, and some of the transferees will go to SuperMax prisions. Just ask Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-FL), a JAG attorney in the Army Reserves. And again, President Obama rejeceted waterboarding as a device to get them to talk. Cheney told him that he can take those points and shove it. Bullshit. I'll spare you the rest of the bullshit from the past, including the Saddam Hussein/Al-Qaeda 9-11 connection.

Number 4: For more on the current and former administrations views is Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, USA (Ret.), the former Chief of Staff under Gen. Colin Powell, USA (Ret.)

Update from TheInatitFund@gmail.com: Twenty-nine days. Do we need to carry on?

Number 3: Meanwhile, those six Democratic senators were spared the wrath of Obama as that 56 other partyy members voting against closing Gitmo. Howard Fineman, what are your comments?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Billo says he's middle class even though he makes $10 million, and his complaint about NYPD random frisking is being challeneged by the ACLU.
Silver - Rep. John Boehner claims the CIA lied to Congress.
Gold - Prof. Harold Hill wants an apology from Baba Wawa. Roll that beautiful View footage. Now shut up.

Number 1: Keith's special comment on Cheney's lies. Video below.

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See you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/20/09

The Tie: Brown, cream and black stripes.

Number 5: Wow, that bipartisan thing finally worked out well. The Democrats jumped to the other side of Adolph XLIII land after a 90-6 on the money for Gitmo's closing. The reason? A lack of focus on a plan and some others returning to terrorism. Eleven of them. And those comments of Sen. James Imhoffe (R-OK) echoing last night's WTF moment about prisoners get better healthcare than our common public...Ummmm, okay. Richard Wolffe, your thoughts? Add some BREAKING NEWS that the first detainee at Club Gitmo - Ahmed Ghailiani -will come to New York in a civilian court soon.

There's a supermax in a small town outside Helena, Montana called Hardin that wants many of 100 detainees right now as we speak. Here's that city's economic director, Greg Smith, to tell us about it from that site.

Number 4: Newt Gingrich, thaty noted pathological controdiction said that CIA lying to a Democrat isn't okay as he said today on GMA. it's not politics, but national security as it were. Tell it to Peter Hokstera...and Leon Panetta, the CIA director. Any fresh ideas, Jonathon Alter?

Oddball: TheInatitFund@gmail.com update has been four whole weeks since Inanity's waterboarding proclaimation. FORE! One golfshot into Petco Park (PETA's worst nightmare) gives you free appitizers at P. F. Chang's with any purchase. Video proof below.

And disturbing, er, good news from the Space Station...three of the guests drink recycled number one.

Number 3: It will not be the Democrat Socialist Party, but the Good Oldboysandgirls Party says now that the Democrats are marching toward socialist policies. And they claim it was to be a success. Say hello to Miss Wasilla 1984, Evil Twin of Tiny Fey supports him with that teabagging comment and we'll greet The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza to let you have this sink in.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) will face Kay Bailey hutchenson, but his spokesperson says he doesn't want a whorehouse.
Silver - Billo and Comedian Boss Limbaugh gets called out as frauds by...Michael Weinersavage?!

Gold - Prof. Harold Hill got P\/\/N3D by Baba Wawa and Whoopi Goldberg, and they had the video to prove it. Memorial services for his attitude and his credibility will be at the Church of St. Ego of the Arrogance on Friday.

Number 1: On the subject of Mr. Limbaugh, he now wants a 30-day truce between Keith and him for that footage of Boss Limbaugh bouncing around. All we can say is WHISKEY...TANGO...FOXTROT!?

See you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/14/09

The Tie: Maroon with those funky octagon dots.

Number 5: Well, well, well... Another smoking gun discovered via House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that the Adolph XLIII administration and the CIA on all that waterboarding, all that torture, and they lied to misleading her in briefings. Meanwhile, The Good Oldboysandgirls Party are taking the side of the lawbreakers (and out-and-out liars). Former Sen Bob Graham (D-FL) accused the CIA of having not met on teirn record keeping, and had no idea on any subject. Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) was shocked, but said Pelosi's a lair. So Howard Fineman, what records of the briefings are available for you?

Number 4: Wait, it's getting worse: The Ayatollah Cheney delivered the first known waterboarding case order on an Iraqi POW on wether Saddam Hussein was connected with Osama bin Laden. This from former NBC investigative reporter Robert Wyndrem. The POW, a high security guard, realized it doesn't work. Jack Rice, the former CIA agent, puts this in focus.

As for the declassifacation of the torture notes, President Obama denied that because it's in another case.

Oddball: It has been 22 days since Inanity's waterbaording for charity challenge. Help out by making a contribution at TheInanitFiles@gmail.com. Another mistaken mother in animal husbandry, this time Josie the goat if milking a horse. In Rock Hill, SC, twenty-eigfht drummers did a drum roll for over 27 hours.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Daddy, What Did You Do In Jail During The Bailout: Take the bailout money or else to 19 banks. 2 - Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) gets the whole mess of Gitmo. 1 - David Rose of Vanity Fair said that the Sunni insurgance in 2007 coulda happened three years earlier but was stopped by The Pentagon, The State Department and The White House. Especiall;y Paul Wolfkawitz's comments that they were "Nazis".

Number 3: Shanna Moakler, Miss USA 1997, Playboy's Miss December 2001, and the former Mrs. Travis Barker (drummerof Blink 182) resigned this week as director of Miss California USA because of Carrie Prejean being kept by the Donald because of her anti-gay marriage stance. We covered that in the WTF Moment on Tuesday (5/12), but here comes Miss Wasalia 1984, who doesn't think that Miss Universe organization agrees with the far left. Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister said she relates to being attacked by the far left. And Hilary and Obama had different views of marriage, so Margaret Carlson, what the heck's going on here?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Billo The Clown again pedals the hate card.
Silver - Prof. Harold Hill made a comment of exhaling as polution.
Gold - Michael Leahy has as problem with paying taxes...and he is the founder of the Tea Party movement!

Number 1: And those WPitW winners all pale in comparison to this little note: When another "blog" says you're using your mother's death as an excuse to explode at your bosses, then and only then it becomes the WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!? Moment. Here's the video.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

This is gettin' kinda nutty around here, but I'll catch you tomorrow.