Countdown Live Blog: 11/11/09

The Tie: Purple.

Number 5: Tea Party protestors inflated their numbers, and now they will go back to the town hall meetings in misinforming America on health care.  Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-TN) is having them done in prisons, on the phone, and now will astroturf their own events.  Roll that not-so-beautiful astroturfing footage.  Meanwhile, Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) will personally seek to kill any bill with public options in it.  Howard Fineman, are there some straight jackets available to the Good Oldboysandgirls Party?

And speaking of last week's media opportunity, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN DWARF STAR PLUTO) apologized for use of a picture from Dacau and was not ideal, even for those fifteen feet away.  And she didn't use the word "sorry" at all.  In addition, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart showed the same footage from Inanity's show that was also used by Prof. Harold Hill's program, both on Fixed Propaganda Channel, and Bachmann also used her taxpayer-funded site to promote the "press conference" held a couple weeks ago.  Clarence Page, is there a method to her madness (if she had any)?

Number 4: When paying veterans who are under 65 with over 2,200 passed away for a lack of insurance and Sen. Tom Colburn (R-OK) holds a bill endorsed by every veterans organization increasing veterans' benefits, especially on this date.  And with that, every day according to Harvard University, six of them die.  Paul Reickhoff, a leader of a veterans group of those in Iraq and Afghanistan, joins us.

Oddball: In 1938, Typhoid Mary Mallon, died. The new Highway 64 won't be opening for a while thanks to another week thanks to an avalanche.  In New Zealand, four baby sharks was born via an unscheduled Caesarian Section.

Best Persons: 3 - Principal Suzy Shepard has a new funding source: One dollar = one test report.  Bribery  2 - Pirate Rupert didn't say anything about Prof. Harold Hill was agreeing about Obama being a racist...or did he? 1 - Miss Wasilla was flummoxed about the design of the new presidential dollar according to Fixed Propaganda.

Musical Segue: The Ohio Players' "Fire".  Once again, I'd like to say FUCK YOU FRANK CENTOLA AND HIS FUCKING FAMILY!

Number 3: And speaking of Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister, her new book, Going Rogue has five chapters.  Five long chapters according to a story leaked out, throwing John McCain staffers from last year under the tour bus, and her faith beliefs.  And she wants to be a talk show host.  (Personally, I might be setting some sort of record for most tags in a live Countdown blog.)  Richard Wolffe, himself an author, joins us to riffle through it all.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)

Bronze - Lou Dobbs has quit his CNN job.  Who wants a used Lou Dobbs?  Who wants a used Lou Dobbs impression? (Where's my teeth?)

Silver - Billo is back in paranoid mode, evoking a note that he has the biggest rated show on TV.

Gold - The American Colalition for Clean Coal Electricity sent forged letters on NAACP to congresspersons on their stand, and then sent two veterans group some e-mails on their stand on this important date.

Number 1: I disliked Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (even if he blew the line he had in Airplane! about dragging [Bill] Lambeer and [Bill] Walton up and down the court forty minutes a night on Celebrity Jeopardy!; can you imagine Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek and Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery mocking him on SNL if that was scripted?) when he faced the 76ers back in the 1980's, but now he has a rare from of leukemia and now I am feeling for him as he speaks to Keith tonight about the health care crisis.

And with that, we'll see you tomorrow night.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/28/09

Former Minnesota Governor Jessie "The Body, The Mind" Ventura is tonight's special guest.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/27/09

The Tie: Red with white microdots.

Number 5: Like we said last night, the far reich is on Sonia Sotomayor's case. They're calling her a racist, a bigot, uneducated (in spite of being a Princeton grad) and even her favorite meal - pigs ears and noodles - could cause a decision go her way. That okay with you, Eugene Robinson?

Meanwhile, the two lawyers who faced one another in Adolph vs. Gore in 2000, will join forces to sue the state of California to repeal Prop 8. And hell just became the Rockefeller Center skating rink at Christmas. John Dean, we finally get bipartianship at last?

Number 4: Just when Fredo Gonzalez thought he was out, Ms. Sotomayor pulled him back in. And he's blaming the Justice Department enhanced interrigation techniques torture on January 22, 2002 as White House Counsel. Well, Jay Bybee sent a couple memos and was cleared by Condi Rice, The Wicked Bitch of the West in her role of National Security Advisor. Tell us more, Chris Hayes from The Nation.

Oddball: In 1911 Vincent Price was born. Play Michael Jackson's "Thriller" in his honor. Remember the story of that suicidal man and the frustrated senior citizen? Here's the video proof. In Jacksonville, a fish camp saw a alligator in the men's room. I'll leave you to the jokes. And in Prague, a politican from the Social Democrat party was egged by students. "The Socialist Democrat Party. What...The...?" It's genius, genius I tells ya!

Best Persons: 3 - Security in an American airport saw a French guy from a drug for chemotheropy had missing fingerprints. 2 - Rabin Osman in Oregon called 911 to ask McDonald's for a juice box. 1 - Julien's of Los Angeles will auction off Elvis' perscription drug bottles. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Musical Segue: "Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building. Thank you and good night."

Number 3: Back to ManCow Muller and his thought about waterboarding was torture. Even to those who didn't want to admit to it, even to Inanity. Rachael Maddow, what say you?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Col. Ralph Peters of Fixed Noise wants to kill all those at Gitmo.
Silver - Another Fixed Noise actor, Bill Hemmer, heard about quoting Norman Thomas, but never mentioned it.
Gold - Mark Precorian on National Review Online says Judge Sotomayor should change the pronounciation of her name.

Number 1 (The Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!? Moment): Here's tonight's edition, compliments of ThinkProgress.org. See if you can make the connection between him and the Gabby Hayes wannabe from Blazing Saddles. And it ain't Roy Rogers' new "Triggerburgers", either!





And while speaking of connections, we'll connect again tomorrow night.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/21/09

The Tie: Red with white micropindots.

Number 5: In the corner to your left, the 44th President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama. And in the corner on your right, the former Vice President of the United States, The Ayatollah Dickcheney. The neocons applauded twice to the American Enterprise Institute speech, but Obama got the knockout punch. Gitmo was a recruting school for terrorism. And it wasn't Obama who let them free. Two-thirds of them were released in the Adolph XLIII Gestapo Herr Goebbles was involved with, and some of the transferees will go to SuperMax prisions. Just ask Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-FL), a JAG attorney in the Army Reserves. And again, President Obama rejeceted waterboarding as a device to get them to talk. Cheney told him that he can take those points and shove it. Bullshit. I'll spare you the rest of the bullshit from the past, including the Saddam Hussein/Al-Qaeda 9-11 connection.

Number 4: For more on the current and former administrations views is Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, USA (Ret.), the former Chief of Staff under Gen. Colin Powell, USA (Ret.)

Update from TheInatitFund@gmail.com: Twenty-nine days. Do we need to carry on?

Number 3: Meanwhile, those six Democratic senators were spared the wrath of Obama as that 56 other partyy members voting against closing Gitmo. Howard Fineman, what are your comments?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Billo says he's middle class even though he makes $10 million, and his complaint about NYPD random frisking is being challeneged by the ACLU.
Silver - Rep. John Boehner claims the CIA lied to Congress.
Gold - Prof. Harold Hill wants an apology from Baba Wawa. Roll that beautiful View footage. Now shut up.

Number 1: Keith's special comment on Cheney's lies. Video below.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

See you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/20/09

The Tie: Brown, cream and black stripes.

Number 5: Wow, that bipartisan thing finally worked out well. The Democrats jumped to the other side of Adolph XLIII land after a 90-6 on the money for Gitmo's closing. The reason? A lack of focus on a plan and some others returning to terrorism. Eleven of them. And those comments of Sen. James Imhoffe (R-OK) echoing last night's WTF moment about prisoners get better healthcare than our common public...Ummmm, okay. Richard Wolffe, your thoughts? Add some BREAKING NEWS that the first detainee at Club Gitmo - Ahmed Ghailiani -will come to New York in a civilian court soon.

There's a supermax in a small town outside Helena, Montana called Hardin that wants many of 100 detainees right now as we speak. Here's that city's economic director, Greg Smith, to tell us about it from that site.

Number 4: Newt Gingrich, thaty noted pathological controdiction said that CIA lying to a Democrat isn't okay as he said today on GMA. it's not politics, but national security as it were. Tell it to Peter Hokstera...and Leon Panetta, the CIA director. Any fresh ideas, Jonathon Alter?

Oddball: TheInatitFund@gmail.com update has been four whole weeks since Inanity's waterboarding proclaimation. FORE! One golfshot into Petco Park (PETA's worst nightmare) gives you free appitizers at P. F. Chang's with any purchase. Video proof below.

And disturbing, er, good news from the Space Station...three of the guests drink recycled number one.

Number 3: It will not be the Democrat Socialist Party, but the Good Oldboysandgirls Party says now that the Democrats are marching toward socialist policies. And they claim it was to be a success. Say hello to Miss Wasilla 1984, Evil Twin of Tiny Fey supports him with that teabagging comment and we'll greet The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza to let you have this sink in.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) will face Kay Bailey hutchenson, but his spokesperson says he doesn't want a whorehouse.
Silver - Billo and Comedian Boss Limbaugh gets called out as frauds by...Michael Weinersavage?!

Gold - Prof. Harold Hill got P\/\/N3D by Baba Wawa and Whoopi Goldberg, and they had the video to prove it. Memorial services for his attitude and his credibility will be at the Church of St. Ego of the Arrogance on Friday.

Number 1: On the subject of Mr. Limbaugh, he now wants a 30-day truce between Keith and him for that footage of Boss Limbaugh bouncing around. All we can say is WHISKEY...TANGO...FOXTROT!?

See you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/19/09

The Tie: Lavender.

Number 5: Michael Steele is threatening to step down as chairman of the Good Oldhomeboysandgirls Party delivered by Fixed Noise, a/k/a The GOP Public Relations Department and tomorrow votes on last Wednesday's (5/13) Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moment. You know, the Democrat Socalist Party vote that he opposes. And they will take President Obama head on and the day he announced tougher emission and fuel mileage at The White House, but there's more to the Party Of Nein (or was the Party of Nine?) than the same old rigmarole, and another celebrity slam at our 44th president was delivered. "This change is being delivered in a teabag." I'll allow you to write the jokes here. Howard Fineman will now attempt to clear up the mess.

Number 4: The screwing up at the CIA continues on Congress and those meetings along with enhanced interigation techniques waterboarding, and Speaker Nancy Pelosi has reported approval ratings equal to Newt Gingrich. OH, SNAP! Did they lie to Congress and obstruct Justice and do so? Rep. Pete Hookstra (R-MI) also slammed everyone, when and where and who? Jack Rice, that former CIA special agent turned talk show host, explains this.

Oddball: This day's TheInatitFund@gmail.com update: Twenty-seven days since Mr. Inatity's announcement. I can see the yellow streak from here... More on him later in the WPitW. We can see snail facials in Sandy, Utah. Actually, it's a Guiness record attempt. And this kid had 43 of em escargos. Out in Spokane, duckings that are newborn for a duck and recover help at a citibank in Spoakne. Insert the "Put it on the bill" joke. And in Belgium, footage of a new baby elephant.

Best Persons: 3 - George Will says people aren't getting out of cars onto bikes. You're only off by .03%, sir. 2 - William Bullock of Cary, NC robbed a Durham bank and dropped the notebook that had missing papers with the address. 1 - A 17-year old in Winston-Salem tried to rob an interwebs cafe with a banana. He then ate it. In tribute, here's that Monty Python "Self Defense Against Fruit" skit.

Musical Segue: Enjoy!

Number 3: Elizabeth Edwards is here to talk about her new book, Resilience.

Still Bushed!: 3 - More on the KBR Halliburton contracts and bonuses for electric wiring near showers. 2 - Ayatollah Dickcheney reviewed in The Dark Side.. Nice. no wonder he looks so damn constipated. 1 - More Fun with Waterboarding and the internal nonsense.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Inanity was getting tossed by Jesse "The Body" Ventura and added that Adolph inheirited 9/11 and the defecit.
Silver - Oh, disgruntled ex-MSNBC employee Tucker Carlson forgot President Obama's use of the word "abortion" seven times. Jeez, hit Ctrl-F5 every time. BTW, how's that Flavor Aid in Pirate Rupert and Jabba The Hutt's bathtub tastin'?
Gold - Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) says there's no global warming with carbon dioxide is in soda and Perrier.

Number 1: Tonight's WHISKEY...TANGO...FOXTROT?!? moment, brought to you by the Republican Filthy Rich Caucasian Senior Citizen Party (Take that for "Democratic Socialist Party" namers) features Sen. John Enson (R-NV) claim that those at the soon to be closed Gitmo jail claims that they get better health care than all average Americans.

We'll keep the world safe from big pharmas, and we'll see you tomorrow night.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/18/09

The Tie: Pink.

Number 5: We learned today that Adolph XLIII was told by a higher authority to go to war in Iraq, and we ain't talking about Donald Rumsfeld, which had scripture from The Bible with pictures below. GQ's Robert Draper said a Muslim inside the Pentagon was offended, but they liked it outside the religion. Richard Wolffe, WTF is going on whatsoever that is holier than Adolph XLIII?

To guide us into The Holy Bible, let's welcome Bapist Minister Rev. C. Welton Gaddy to provide insight to the whole thing.

Number 4: President Obama's commencement speech at Notre Dame was a mantra and was interrupted 25 times for applause and once for an anti-abortion protest. And he added that any health care plan must include help for sensible abortions and adoption, plus he wanted a common ground for future battles. So E.J. Dionne, how'd he do?

Oddball: Today's TheInatitFund@gmail.com update stands at 26 days of Inanity singing The Sounds of Silence. Hello, darkness, my old friend... And it's Jesus as a Cheeto. Jesus as a Cheeto! Yes, the Bell family are planning to sell it on eBay, with the winning bid expected to be from GolenPalace.com Mr. I. P. Dailey from Yellow River, Texas. In Bubbio Italy, the candle race is fixed like a WWE match. And Inchon, South Korea's best billiard player doesn't use a cue.

Best Persons: 3 - Mrs Blago will replace her husband on I'm A Celebrity Bail Me Out! 2 - The cancelled parade of bodybuilders in Bulgaria was because of drug testing. 1 - Well, look below and see who was hired by ESPN. Apology much for sources?

Musical Segue: Theme from Monday Night Football.

Number 3: Herr Goebbles' daughter Lynn was asked on ABC's This Week called her dad's torture undeniable...that's what it is... And McClatchy via guest John Lanaday had an article running that Cheney will clear up everything. The little bitch also said that President was Un-American... That's right, the apples don't fall far from the tree and they're all rotten to the core. So Lynn, does the term "SEIG HEIL" mean anything?

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - Harold Jackson of The Philadelphia Inquirer defends John Woo's hiring on bloggers.
Silver - Inanity the Coward announced the hiring of new attorneys at the DoJ. Blames it on politics.
Gold - Billo The Clown goes on the interwebs and says after over forty attacks from stalker/producers he's trying to protect you and your privacy. Get out the virual middle finger at him as he was unmerciafully booed at The New Yankee Stadium money Pit sitting next to The Donald.

Number 1: WHISKEY...TANGO...FOXTROT!?! Good Oldhomeboysandgirls Party boss Michael "Yo Homies!" Steele wants to tie gay marriage to hurting small business. And the wedding business is a lot of small businesses making, oh, $70 billion/year.

I'm off to watch this week's WWE RAW. At least there's no arena conflict in Louvul like what's going to happen next week. The story will be linked tomorrow at Keith's Sports Journal, or you can scroll downward and read it for yourself.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/15/09

The Tie: Purple with navy dots.

Number 5: Oh, here we gooooooo. On his anything but telling the truth starring Ayatollah Dickcheney tour, House speaker Nancy Pelosi showing the non existance of enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding via lies. Meanwhile, CIA boss Leon Panetta defends the agency but what about Bob Graham? Meanwhile, Sen. Kit Bond (R-MO) said that while CIA agents lie around the world, the tune changes when they face Congress. So who's telling lies to whom? Ask Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) the minority leader of the House and we'll never know. The Obama administration is staying far away from it. So Richard Wolffe, will the real whomever is saying this PLEASE stand up (so you can be arrested)? And then Prof. Jonathon Turley joins us on how many different ways the Adolph XLIII Gestapo broke the laws.

Number 4: Meanwhile, 57% of Republican insiders wants Ayatollah Dickcheney, the Herr Goebles of the Adolph XLIII Gestapo want him to do everyone a favor and please... SHUT... THE FUCK... UP! Stay off the stage for the next ten years as it were, so Chris Cillizza, who's going to hold the door and kick Cheney's ass en route to the egress?

Oddball: TheInanitFiles@gmail.com Update: Twenty-three days since Inanity's waterboarding statement for charity, and still nothing. Coming from the land Down Under where women glow and men chunder is a video of kangaroos trying to escape the horrors of Pirate Murdoch, Arrrrrrr! And the Phillies were at the White House (see below for more information).

Still Bushed!: 3 - Daddy, What Did You Do In jail During The Bailout?: David Millard, the guy who moved fed pension monry to stocks may soon be getting a job in the big house. 2 - Turdblossom was testifying about the Attorney firings. 1 - Of the 241 military tribunals that were scheduled, only 20 will be tried with new rules.

Number 3: The protests at Notre Dame over President Obama's graduation speech to the Class of '09 was much ado about nothing especially when compared to, say, hiring a Prodestant football coach (Ara Parsegian) or a Jewish football coach (Lou Holtz) winning three of the last four National Mythical College Football Championships compared to abortion and stem cell research, but 60% are in favor of the commencement address, and Cardinal Francis George forgot Adolph XLIII speaking in 2001. Dr. Patrick Whelan, the head of Catholic Democrats, is her to answer those hard questions.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)
Bronze - The Drudge Report is now prohibited in the Federal offices in Mass.
Silver - Billo The Clown slams Prof. Jonathon Turley for going to "the dark side".
Gold - Michael Weinersavage now had his lawyers go to Hilary Clinton to get reinstated in Great Britain after calling her "a Nazi". Two Words for the former disgruntled NBCUniversal employee: ROTSA RUCK! Oh, and Mr. Pot, Ms. Kettle, Mr. Black. I beleive you know one another...

Number 1: For tonight's WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!?! moment, we look at what would happen is the State of Texas became a Republic again, like NFL franchises save for the Cowboys, American League baseball teams, NBA franchises and NHL organ-eye-zay-thons travelling to THREE different countries, the loss of Electorial College votes NASA's Johnson Space Center, hurricane relief and other stuff. Has anyone suggested that Gov. Rick Perry (R) needs a frontal lobomoty bad enough?

Well, I promised two weeks ago that Word Girl story, but I will have time this weekend to cover that up for you. No, really I will...

Countdown Live Blog: 5/14/09

The Tie: Maroon with those funky octagon dots.

Number 5: Well, well, well... Another smoking gun discovered via House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that the Adolph XLIII administration and the CIA on all that waterboarding, all that torture, and they lied to misleading her in briefings. Meanwhile, The Good Oldboysandgirls Party are taking the side of the lawbreakers (and out-and-out liars). Former Sen Bob Graham (D-FL) accused the CIA of having not met on teirn record keeping, and had no idea on any subject. Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) was shocked, but said Pelosi's a lair. So Howard Fineman, what records of the briefings are available for you?

Number 4: Wait, it's getting worse: The Ayatollah Cheney delivered the first known waterboarding case order on an Iraqi POW on wether Saddam Hussein was connected with Osama bin Laden. This from former NBC investigative reporter Robert Wyndrem. The POW, a high security guard, realized it doesn't work. Jack Rice, the former CIA agent, puts this in focus.

As for the declassifacation of the torture notes, President Obama denied that because it's in another case.

Oddball: It has been 22 days since Inanity's waterbaording for charity challenge. Help out by making a contribution at TheInanitFiles@gmail.com. Another mistaken mother in animal husbandry, this time Josie the goat if milking a horse. In Rock Hill, SC, twenty-eigfht drummers did a drum roll for over 27 hours.

Still Bushed!: 3 - Daddy, What Did You Do In Jail During The Bailout: Take the bailout money or else to 19 banks. 2 - Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) gets the whole mess of Gitmo. 1 - David Rose of Vanity Fair said that the Sunni insurgance in 2007 coulda happened three years earlier but was stopped by The Pentagon, The State Department and The White House. Especiall;y Paul Wolfkawitz's comments that they were "Nazis".

Number 3: Shanna Moakler, Miss USA 1997, Playboy's Miss December 2001, and the former Mrs. Travis Barker (drummerof Blink 182) resigned this week as director of Miss California USA because of Carrie Prejean being kept by the Donald because of her anti-gay marriage stance. We covered that in the WTF Moment on Tuesday (5/12), but here comes Miss Wasalia 1984, who doesn't think that Miss Universe organization agrees with the far left. Tina Fey's Evil Twin Sister said she relates to being attacked by the far left. And Hilary and Obama had different views of marriage, so Margaret Carlson, what the heck's going on here?

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Billo The Clown again pedals the hate card.
Silver - Prof. Harold Hill made a comment of exhaling as polution.
Gold - Michael Leahy has as problem with paying taxes...and he is the founder of the Tea Party movement!

Number 1: And those WPitW winners all pale in comparison to this little note: When another "blog" says you're using your mother's death as an excuse to explode at your bosses, then and only then it becomes the WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!? Moment. Here's the video.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

This is gettin' kinda nutty around here, but I'll catch you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/13/09

The Tie: Blue, black and silver stripes.

Number 5: Mr. A. Nonymous under sworn testimony said that all the information was given before enhanced methods of interrigation waterbaording, and President Obama reverses course on photos over what happened in Torture Country. Meanwhile, the next memo from Phil Zelkow, a former State Department assistant to be declassified will have more info. Sen. Lidsay Graham (R-SC) was taken back by Ali Supan (Mr. A. Nonymous himself) on said pre-waterboarding and the mastermind of the 9/11 before Blackwater Xe squadron came on the harsh techniques. Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI), chairman of the Senate subcommitee that hosted the hearings, has taken the Acelia to join Keith in the studio ad deliver the talking points. And Richard Wolffe responds to the question "Will the Ayatollah Dickcheney go on TV again to refute this?"

Number 4: The Evil Twin Sister of Elizabeth Santamatina Fey, Miss Wasila 1984, has raided the booty of Pirate Rupert Murdoch (Arrrrr!) for a six-to-seven figure deal to write her memoir. Spring of 2010 is the date when HarperCollins (owned by NewsCorpse) for the book in questions by keeping personal journals. Shannyn Moore from HuffPo.com delivers the comments from Anchorage. My proposed Title: Hou I Made Rich Lowry Horny.

Oddball: Your daily waterboarding charity update brought to you by TheInatitFund@gmail.com: Three weeks and all is not well with Inanity. Now there's a brassiere that hunts down potential husbands in Tokyo. THANK GOD I AM SINGLE! In Tel Aviv, the strongwomen in Israel's truck Pull, empty trucks. And in Budapest, Hungary, a 30,000 egg omlette was served.

Best Persons: 3 - The AT&T Building cleared leftover food in San Jose cleaning it all. 2 - Craig Williams of Hollyhill, Florida was ratted out by the guy who was going to buy some pot. 1 - An accused drug dealer in a chase pulled into a Taco Bell for one last burrito.

Musical Segue: One More For The Road.

Number 3: The daily White House media debriefing was interrupted by someone having their cell phone ring. Press secratary Robert Gibbs was asked a question by Jake Tapper of ABC was being interrupted by someone from a web site called Current Events was trying to get in incoming call and all hilarity broke loose. The phone was taken away, but aother phone rings, this from Bill Plante of CBS News. Plante left the room, and this video is funny ha-ha.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Still Bushed!: 3 - I can't get any sleep. More fun with enhanced interragation torture. 2 - Ayatollah Dickcheney according to one senator has had enough of Herr Goebles' interviews. The person? Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) 1 - And there's not enough water in Iraq with overtreated water. It's enough to make you sick.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World)
Bronze - Gary Bauer, quotes AP on philisophical views on torture.
Silver - New Fixed Noise producerstalker comes to a new low over Janeane Garofalo.

Gold - See the post below ("'Oh, Here We Go... Again Again!") for the winners.

Number 1: So lemme see if I have this straight. The Good Oldboysandgirls Party, the party of "No" wants to have the Democratic Party changed to the Democrat Socalist Party. Whiskey...Tango...Foxtrot!? This from Roger Simon of Politico.com, this eight years after calling them the Democrat Party. Take Donald Trump and cross it with OctoManny. I'll let Keith explain...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Speaking of socalism (as in social notice), I will see you tomorrow.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/11/09

The Tie: Light blue stripes.

Number 5: Herr Goebles plans to throw Adolph Bush XLIII under the bus. New intel, and ratting out Adolph XLIII in this round. A 2004 CIA Inspector General memo will be removed, but much of it is out with censorship worthy of Soviet Union gestapo. Dick was on Face The Nation speaking on the honorable way on holding the Geneva Convention hopstage. Prof. Jonathon Turley reads the tealeaves.

Number 4: Given a pick between Gen. Colin Powell (USA, Ret.) and Comedian Boss Limbaugh, Herr Cheney Goebles chose de facto GOP leader Limbaugh. And he returned the favor today, while Sen. John McCain, the non-winner of the 2008 Presidential election (R-AZ) said the Good Oldboysandgirls Party has room for moderates so as long as the leaders don't moderate, correct Eugene Robinson?

Oddball: TheInanitFund@gmail.com Update: Ninteen days and counting since Inanity made the statement on waterboarding himself for charity. The silence is deafening... To save money on gas, a new race car in England is scheduled to run on chocolate. Sweet! And at Shitty Field, Baba Booey, Howard Stern's producer threw out the first pitch Saturday...right at the umpire.

Best Persons: 3 - Carrie Prejean breached the contract on Miss California USA and will be decided by Donald Trump. She'll be fired and then be forced to be on the next Celebrit Apprentice. 2 - Al Perkins stole $3,100 in cash but left his wallet at the bank on the teller's counter. Nice move, Al. 1 - Karta the Orangutan made an attempt to escape from the German Zoo she was in, but didn't.

Musical Segue: The Animals' "We Gotta Get Outta This Place".

Number 3: Once again, Billo the Clown steps on the rakes that is World War II history. This time, defending the Nazis, defaming Winston Churchill. Oh, President Obama was correct. Video below for you history buffs.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World, Connect The Dots With Pirate Rupert Edition)

Bronze - Richard Johnson of the Page Six of One of new York's Finest Newspapers takes a shot at NBC, which is Luke Rupert's happening. BTW, that vanity paper down 21% in circulation.

Silver - Newt Gingrich went on Fixed Noise Sunday to suggest terrorist on welfare, and says waterboarding was not illegal.

Gold - Brain Kilmeade, ex-sportscaster on Fixed and Fiends, said that in a discussion on The DaVinci Code, Angels and Demons said even if Gallelo was innocent on hericy, he would have dies anyway. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot alert!

Number 1: In case you missed the annual White House Corospondents' Association clusterfuck mas grande annual dinner and Dean Martin Memorial Roast (mostly because Keith was there in person as seen in the May 10 post), here's the best zingers from Shecky Obama (opening this weekend at The Bethesda Chuckle Hut) and guest star Wanda Sykes. Especially that Boss Limbaugh 20th hijacker line, right Richard Wolffe? Your video is here.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Quick reminder, JFein's here tomorrow night unless that Shuster fellow fills in, then all bets are off. Speaking of going off, time to watch WWE RAW.

Wanda, We Have An Offer On The Table To Help Out...

Since Inanity still hasn't responded to the waterboarding request for charity, Wanda Sykes pointed this out on Saturday night (5/9) at the White House Corespondents' Dinner, starting at the 4:30 mark including Keith's response:

If you really want to help us out Ms. Sykes, please make a donation per second to TheInatitFiles@gmail.com, and we won't have to worry about that middle seat in coach. BTW, why couldn't MSNBC asfford to have more than one camera at the event while C-SPAN had three?

Countdown Live Blog: 5/8/09

The Tie: Black, silver and blue stripes.

Number 5: On behalf of the entire universe, we'd like to tell Herr Goebles Cheney to simple when leaving your old position as Herr Adolph's second-in-command, "WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He spoke to one of the most far right wing nutjob hosts in North Dakota - NORTH FUCKING DAKOTA! - on waterbaording being good. Richard Wolffe, any ideas?

And when he said that he and the rest of the current Good Oldboysandgirls Party leaders should be exiting starge neocon right. Jonathon Alter, explain, the step outside.

Number 4: When did Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) know about enhanced interrigation techniques waterboarding and when did she forget about it? Ask the CIA about it back in 2002, four years before she became Speaker. Fixed Noise and other far right wing nutblogs jumped all over this. McClathy Newspapers chief Washington reporter Jonathon Landay is here to recap. And more on Madame Speaker in Worsts later...

Oddball: Tonight's Inanity Charity update brought to you by TheInanitFiles@gmail.com. Sixteen days since Inanity wanted to be waterboarded for charity and still no response. We have balogna with Jay Randolph's spelling of "G-O-D, GOOD!" in Maimi. Outside an office building in Sao Paolo, Brazil, a window washing bucket went awry.

Number 3: The guy who authorized that photo-op over the Statue of Liberty (which will finally reopen July 4th for the first time since 9/11) that caused panic over Lower Manhattan has resigned/been sacked/sent packing. Oh, yes, the pics were foramally released as well today (5/8). Louis Caldera, winner of April 27th's Worst Person in the World contest, leaves the White House Military Office in disgrace. Margaret Carlson, do you have the 8 x 10 glossies?

Still Bushed!: 3 - The man who wrote the book on far right Christian faith values said that Obama broke tradition began by Adolph XLIII over the National Day of Prayer. 2 - Many many changes in the culture in DC, according to Sen. Tom Colburn (R-OK), especially on economics. 1 - Lots of Iraq nothingness on Al Qaeda, as the Pakistani Prime Minister declares war on the Taliban.

Number 2 (Worst Person in the World)

Bronze - William Donahue compares President Obama to ex-KKK leader David Duke.

Silver - Alan Keyes was locked up in South Bend at Notre Dame against the speech President Obama.

Gold - David Fehrity has just written his notice of "we wish you well in future endeavors" asking if Speaker Pelosi, Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) and Osama Bin Laden were in a elevator, a US soldier had two bullets, two would be used for Pelosi, and Reid and Bin Laden gets choke out. Have you met Ben Wright and his stance on women golfers? Ever heard of Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder and his thought on African-American athletes? Did you know Jack Whitaker was banished from Augusta national for calling a gallery of patrons "a mob" and Gary McCord is still banished for syaing that they were "bikini waxing" the greens there? More on this dreadful commentary this weekend.

Number 1: Miss Wasilla 1984, the Evil Twin Sister of Sarah Palin won't be at the White House Corospondent's Dinner tomorrow (5/9; live at 9 PM ET on MSNBC - blaitant plug) because of - get this - she's the damned governor of Alaska. And Keith was going to have her autograph those SNL cue cards from Ben Affleck... But it won't be held in front of President Obama. Also out on the bill, Inanity and the rest of Fixed Noise, but $23,000 will be donated to a D.C. homeless group instead of desert. Craig Crawford previews the event, complete with a Fredo sighting!

I promised something about WordGirl last week, I'll have it for you this weekend...I promise.

Countdown Live Blog: 5/7/09

The Tie: Black with gray micropindots.

Number 5: While losing Spector is one thing, but now Joe The So-Called Plumber tells Time because he is leaving the Good Oldboysandgirls Party because they're overspending money. NO! And Newt Gingrich visited The White House, and it wasn't for a 2012 photo op. And Miss Wasalia 1984's popular opinion fell in fifteen months by 31%. Well, Richard Wolffe, has the GOP run out of ideas? And then, Shannyn Moore from HuffPo is in Anchorage to get the Tina Fey Evil Twin Sister angle.

Number 4: In defending the lawyers to tell torture, so when Eirc Holder - the Attorney General - was told about the Clinton Administration for transferring prisioners if he decides to go after Herr Goebles Cheney. Defending Fredo as The Little Guy? Brandon Friedman from VoteVets.org and author joins us.

Oddball: Fifteen days since Inanity wanted to be waterbaorded for charity. Help us out at TheInatitFiles@gmail.com. Every penny or dollar helps. One ginormous box of popcorn, please and people looked for prizes in London. Shanelle the dauschound terned 21 yesterday.

Best Persons: 3 - Jenna Lee of Fixed Going Out of Business is completely clueless...just like their viewer. 2 - Ron Gordon forgot about "Odd Day". 1 - Molly the Cow was lead to the slaughterhouse and escaped. And thanks to the ASPCA, will live in Long island.

Musical Segue: I'm a cow...moo!

Number 3: The Confederate States of America are not so alive and well. Only 9% of the GOP want to suceede from the union, and soverignity rules were passed in three states, and saying Chris Hayes from The Nation seems to think this is fascinating...and a case of treason.

Number 2 (Worst Persons in the World, The Fixed Noise All-Star Edition)
Bronze - Inanity claimed that Obama used mustard on hamburger. Dijon mustard. Pardon me, do you want any Grey Poupon?
Silver - Billo talks about the hate crimes protecting pedophiles but not of the military. It's all fake if you cannot believe it.
Gold - Prof. Harold Hill is falling behind on ACORN, and was played like a $3 banjo on someone's knee by an ACORN spokesperson. Prof. Hill then shut his mike off, ejects him from the studio, but the the ACORN guy asks Glenn's producer out on a date. Brainwashing much, Harold?

Number 1: As stated earlier today, Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games for using something used by the Octomom...to make Little ManRam happy if you catch my drift. On behalf of myself, I would like to say to Manny "Thanks for ruining my trip to The Vault Tuesday night (5/12) except for the $1 hotdogs." Well, I'll make fun of him with a few fans I know... (That's the next time JFein will fill in for me BTW, so if you're reading this Justin, you know the drill.) Manny now joins A-R*d, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi and Roger Clemens in the Steroid/PED Hall of Shame. All with the asterisk that once graced Roger Maris' name. Richard Justice from the Houston Chronicle, hello!

And for us, goodnight. See you tomorrow.

The Subhead is Right: A Penny a Second For Waterboarding Inanity

No kidding. I just can't afford $1,000/second like Keith can thanks to his Olbermann Broadcasting Empire. So, as long as Inanity wants to do so (hey, it's been a week since he's been triple dog dared by ex-NBC Universal employee Charles Grodin to do so), I'll pitch one cent a second to Keith's charity of choice; and it will be doubled if Inanity admits to being scared for his life.

If anyone wants to match (or exceed) my penny-a-second pledge, leave a comment with the amount you will make per second or e-mail me via TheInanitFund@gmail.com.

Let's all make Inanity take the Waterboarding Challenge as it were.